Tris's POV *later that day*
I stand in the shower for a long time, letting the scorching water roll across my skin as if it will take away my regrets. I shouldn't have hit Harley. She deserved it, I don't doubt that, but I shouldn't have done it. I don't want a reputation that paints me such an ugly picture, one where I get into cat fights over nothing more than words. I want to be known as Dauntless, but my roots will always be Abnegation, and the Abnegation girl inside of me is burning with shame.
I step out of the shower when my fingers begin to wrinkle, wrapping a towel around my body and standing in front of the foggy mirror. I look down, where my soaking feet have left dark imprints on the bath rug. I then look back to the mirror. I can't see myself, only a foggy outline of my still-boyish body. I run my finger across the warm glass, spelling out all the names I have been called.
Each one represents a different part of my life, and while I can't see myself in the glass, my names allow me to see who I have been. Beatrice I write in the mirror, little droplets rolling down the glass as I write. Beatrice was an Abnegation girl, struggling against the bonds of a life that wasn't who she was. She is still inside of me, still the core of who I am and the things that drive me, but people are complex, and she has been layered over until some of the lines of who she is blur.
Tris I write next. Tris is a hard name to describe, to think about. She came and went so quickly, a lightning strike on my life. She was only a flash, but the mark she left is permanent. Tris formed me into who I am today. It was Tris who chose Dauntless, not Beatrice. It was Tris who fell in love with Tobias, but it was also Tris who beat up Molly far beyond what was necessary. Although she has been the shortest lived name, she might be the most important, for without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. I never chose to be Beatrice. But Tris, and the life she led, was my choice.
I pause before the next name, the name that I still live by. Six. Who is Six? I know who I used to be, but lately it's getting harder and harder to tell who I am. I would never have thought that I would beat someone up outside of initiation for my own selfishly fueled reasons. I would never have guessed all the things I've said and done to my mother, to Uriah. A sick emotion churns in my stomach. Dauntless has changed me more than I would like it to have. I need to remember the scared sixteen year old girl who I was just a year ago, and remember that while I have changed, and I live a different life, that my past still has many things to teach me.
I step out of the bathroom and pull on some of Tobias's old sweatpants. I pull a black T shirt on, one of my own, and run a comb through my honey blonde hair. I pull it to the side and wrap it into a loose braid. I am just finishing when I hear a hard knock at the door.
"Just a second!" I call, taking one last look in the mirror to make sure that I'm okay to open the door.
"Open up!" A hostile voice yells back impatiently, banging on the door once more.
The voice is just acrimonious enough, holding just the right enough amount of tension to make me tuck a knife into the waistband of my sweatpants. I've learned over time to always be prepared.
I pull the door open cautiously, unsure of who I'm going to face. I have barely opened the door all the way before it is shoved open, a huge man stepping into my apartment. He stands a good foot above me and stares down at me coldly. His dark hair shags around his head, and his tight shirt shows off his abundant muscles. He looks too young to wear such a jaded and hard look.
"Tris Eaton?" He asks before I can get a word in, reminding me that officials still have my real name. He must be an official, and an awful wave of fear washes over me. Is he here because of my Divergence? Have I been discovered? I lightly touch my fingers to the hilt of my knife.
"Yes." I say slowly. "Is there a problem?" I ask as he steps in further into my apartment.
"That depends." He replies. "Is it true that you, Tris Eaton, attacked Harley Stone earlier today in the cafeteria?" He asks, making himself comfortable on the edge of my couch. A wave of relief washes over me, and I drop my hand from my waist. This isn't about my Divergence.
"First, who are you?" I ignore his question. I shut the front door, recognizing that he isn't going to leave on my request.
"Answer the question." He insists, in turn ignoring my question. "Did you or did you not attack Harley Stone?"
"Not exactly-"
"Did you throw the first punch?" He cuts me off, giving me a cold pointed look.
"I did." I nod. "But I was provoked."
"That doesn't matter." He suddenly stands, pulling a folded sheet of paper out of his back pocket and handing it to me.
"What's this?" I ask, shaking it in the air as he walks towards the door.
"A suspension note. You're suspended from your job, and its pay, for the next month due to fighting." He says, pulling the door open.
"What?" I gape incredulously, following him into the hallway. I walk beside him, taking long strides to keep up with his brusk pace. "I'm suspended for fighting in Dauntless?"
"Yes." He says sharply as we enter the pit. "You are. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm a very busy man." He stops and looks at me one more time before walking away in the pit.
I watch him walk away, still shocked that I'm being suspended for something so incredibly stupid.
I become slightly less shocked when I see Harley on the other side of the pit. She glares at me, her lips turned up in a oh so familiar smirk right before the man, who only minutes ago bursted into my apartment, pulls Harley into his arms, instantly locking their lips.
