Talk to Me
The hospital psych floor was quiet as Jack waited just outside Weaver's room. As of now, he wasn't being allowed visitors. They'd put him on meds to help him sleep it off. The hope was that when he awoke, he'd be aware of what was real and be able to be reasoned with.
Gem was on her way, as well as Weaver's mom. Jack's stomach was in knots as he tried to figure out what he was going to say to them. He felt like he'd let him down, let them all down. He was in charge of training him, making sure he was combat ready. He knew better, sometimes things just happen. They all knew what they'd signed up for.
"Captain Thornton!" Gem came running down the hall. "Where is he?"
"He's in there." Jack pointed. As Gem rushed to the door, Jack took hold of her arm. "You can't go in there now."
"Are you serious? You can't stop me!"
"I can if I have to." She froze in place, he was serious. "I'm sorry. Its protocol. Until the doctors are sure he's not a risk to himself or you, he's not allowed any visitors."
She slugged toward the nearest chair and sunk in hard. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "How much trouble is he in? Will he go to jail for this?"
Jack took the seat next to her, taking her hand. "No. However, he will be discharged from the Army."
"Good," she said forcefully. "I want this over with and behind us."
The hospital floor was becoming busy as doctors began making their rounds.
"Captain Thornton, will he be okay after all this? Can he have a normal life?"
"In time and with proper help, yes."
"Good."
Jack didn't know the young woman well, but he'd had no idea she had such an angry tone. They sat there in silence for a solid 15 minutes before Gem spoke again.
"I don't blame you." Her voice softened some.
"What?"
"Wyatt talks about you all the time. How wonderful you are and how he looks up to you. I know you did everything you good for him. For us."
Jack let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you for saying that, Gem. I know this is hard." She nodded slowly. "He'll need you to see him through this. I'll be there for him as much as I can, but he'll need you."
"I'm not going anywhere." Her tears started again. "He proposed to me, you know?"
"I heard. Congratulations."
"He's my person, Captain Thornton. I can't leave him anymore than I can stop breathing."
"Then he's a lucky man."
"I'm the lucky one."
…...
Elizabeth set the table on the back deck for their breakfast. Jack had called 15 minutes before saying that now that both Wyatt Weaver's mother and Gem were there, he was heading home. He sounded exhausted, defeated even. Elizabeth only hoped she could help him work through this. She would, with His guidance. At the present, she felt so out of her element. The 45 minute call and prayer time with Abigail had helped some, but she still felt unqualified to help him.
Rip sprung from his bed and ran to the door when he heard Jack's Jeep pull up the drive. He didn't like watching Elizabeth stress and was more than happy to have Jack home. He waiting at the door for Jack to come while Elizabeth hurried to finish getting their meal ready. To both their surprise, he didn't come in right away.
Elizabeth went to the living room window, peering out at Jack's jeep. There he was, sitting in the driver's seat on his phone. His eyes were closed. She wondered if he had fallen asleep. Just as she had decided to go out after him, he moved and climbed out. Giving her a small wave.
"Sorry, did I worry you?" He asked when he entered.
"A little. You just need a minute?"
"Yeah. Sorry." Jack bent down to pet Rip. Burying his face in the pups soft fur. "Do I have time for a quick shower before we eat?"
"Of course."
"Great." His voice was void of emotion. It was almost frightening. He stood walking straight to her, pulling her to her chest. The smell of her vanilla lavender shampoo was intoxicating to his senses. "I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too. I so sorry this happened, babe."
"Me too." His voice cracked his he spoke. "I want to fix this. But I can't."
"I know. I know." She held him tightly, rubbing her hands up and down his back. "Take a nice long shower. Food will be ready when you come out."
Cupping her sweet face, he kissed her soft and slow. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Luckily you don't have to figure that one out. I'm right here."
"I thank God for that every day." He kissed her forehead. He didn't smile, but she could still tell he was feeling a little more at ease as he headed up the stairs, Rip at his tail.
The buzzing of her phone on the counter pulled her from worry over Jack and back to the food cooking.
"Hello?"
"Hey, its me." Faith said. "You alright? Is Jack home yet?"
"He just got home."
"Oh good. I can let you go. Just tell me now, is he alright?"
"He's in the shower so I have a minute. He seems… depressed."
"I'm not surprised. He basically lost a man today."
"What do you mean?"
"Weaver. The Army will have to let him go. Jack probably feels as though he let him down."
"But he didn't!"
"You know that, and I know that. Heck, I'm sure deep down even Jack knows that but it's hard to actually let it sink in."
"Faith, what do I do? I talked to Abigail. She gave me some tips but you were a soldier before. You have an idea what he's going through right?"
"A little, I guess. I've never been through this exactly."
"More than me. I'm just a school teacher. What do I know? I'm useless!"
"You're not useless! You're his wife!" Faith wished she could run over to Elizabeth right then. She new the feeling her friend had all to well. As it was she was stuck in the health office at the school trying to get set up for the new year. "Just be you. That what Jack needs right now. Encourage him to talk to you without boundaries. Sometimes in the military we hold back, we feel we can't always be as open as we need to be. But with you, he doesn't need to be. He can lay it all out. He needs that right now."
"Alright. I can do that. I hate seeing him like this." She could hear the water running upstairs. "What if this brings out something from that night in Jack?"
"Don't borrow trouble, sweetie. Really."
"I know, I know. Abigail said the same thing." I should go. I need to grill the burgers.
"Burgers? It's like 10 AM." Faith laughed.
"Jack was on night ops, remember?"
"That's right. With Shane it's usually enchiladas."
"Seriously?" Elizabeth laughed. "The things we do for them."
"They're worth it!" Faith giggled.
"Yes they are."
…..
Across town, Becky sat curled up in front of Gabe, trying to avoid his inevitable departure. In just a few short days he would be leaving for basic training and then off to his first assignment in the Army. Becky would be staying behind to finish one more year of high school and then, time would tell.
"You'll write to me?"
"Every chance I get. It won't be much but…"
"I know." she whispered. This was harder than she had thought it would be.
Gabe would be in basic for 3 months. In that time he would get maybe one call a week, and time to write letters on occasion. Those phone calls would have to be shared with Gabe's mom, Cat. There was a family weekend, but that wasn't till the end of the duration. It was going to be a long few months.
"It won't so bad," Gabe whispered into her ear. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"I don't need to be apart from you to know I love you, Gabe. Do you need to be apart from me?"
"Don't put words in my mouth. You know I love you. I'm just... " he sighed. "I don't know. I don't like seeing you like this. I hate even more that it's my decision that's causing it."
His head fell to her shoulder, breaking her heart. This should be an exciting time for him in his life. He was living out his dream. But because she was unable to share in his joy, he was unhappy.
"I'm sorry, Gabe." She stood up and took his hand. "Let's take a walk."
"Where?"
"Anywhere."
They walked for a while along the winding trails in Meadowbrook park. Once they were in a more private area, off by the river, near the sunflower and corn fields, Becky stopped to face him.
"I messed up."
"How?" Gabe ask confused.
"I keep forgetting to tell you something very important. I've whined and I've complained about the time apart and the unknown but there's something I haven't done and that's this… Gabe Anderson Montgomery, I'm so very proud of you."
Gabe laughed softly. "I know."
"You know? How?"
"You love me, right?"
"Of course I do!"
"And you've never told me not to go, right?"
"Right…"
"Well I kind of figured. But I will say, it means the world to me to hear the words." He pulled her close, giving her a hug and short soft kiss, trying not to get to carried away in public. "You know, I see a great future for us. Like Mr. and Mrs. Thornton. I want to be just like them."
"We'd be pretty lucky to end up like them."
"I know it! I've asked Captain Thornton if I could write to him while I'm away and he said I could. Like a mentor. I think you should reach out to Mrs. Thornton."
"I don't know. She's going to have her hands full with the baby."
"So? That just means she might need an extra hand from time to time then. The next year is going to hard for us. We need good strong people around us to see us through. I want you to have that."
"Gabe, I'll be fine."
"Becky, please?"
She looked up into his loving eyes. She knew he was right, and loved how much care he had for her. "Alright. I'll ask her. I think you're right. And I love her. She's pretty awesome."
"Perfect!"
…..
Jack did his best to snap himself out of the thick funk he found himself him. During their meal Elizabeth gently pressed him about what happened during the night op, suggesting that it was better for him and them to have as much of their feelings out in the open as possible. As usual, she was right. He just asked that they hold over till later and enjoy their meal together. The pleading look in his eyes made it hard for her to argue, so she agreed. Instead they talked about him going to Boston with her for the shower and what exactly it was woman did at baby and wedding showers anyway.
Afterwards, Jack cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher so Elizabeth could finish her tea. Standing in front of the sink his eyes where fixed out the window staring out at something. Elizabeth wasn't sure what, but he seemed entranced.
From the window Jack had a clear view of the backyard across the way of another family. He could see a young father out playing with his young son. The boy was about 2, maybe 3. Jack wondered if the dad had the day off or was just home on lunch. He was thoroughly enjoying the time with his son. Both happy, smiling, laughing. Jack wanting that with his child. Right now all he felt was weight. Weight of his job, weight of what happened to Weaver. He watched as the dad picked up the little boy and carried him inside the home.
"Jack?" Elizabeth broke into his thoughts.
"Yeah? Sorry."
"It's alright. The water in the sink is getting high though."
He looked down and quickly turned off the faucet. "Yikes. I guess I got distracted."
"It happens." She smiled. "I have an idea. After this, why don't we grab a blanket and go out to the hammock? We may not have more days before the cold of fall and winter come."
"Yeah. I like that. Holding you in my arms sounds like a great idea right now."
"Great. I'll go grab a blanket."
Jack was finishing up with the last of the dishes when Elizabeth came back down the stairs with a blanket.
"Ready, handsome?"
He couldn't help but smile. She was so beautiful. Just about into their 3rd trimester with their first child and as beautiful as ever. He felt so blessed. No matter what had happened, he needed to remember that.
"Ready." He took her hand and led her out to the back patio. "Rip, come on boy." The dog begrudgingly left his warm bed and followed them outside. He was happier when he realized he could resume his nap in the new location.
Jack held the hammock steady as Elizabeth rolled herself on.
"Good Lord, this was easier a few months ago," she groaned.
"You did just fine," Jack laughed. "And I promise to help you up when it's time."
"You'll have to. I think our best bet might be to just push me from underneath or roll me. My goodness. I'm a whale."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Thornton?" Jack sassed, hands on his hips, mimicking a Thatcher woman. "You most certainly are not. But if you were, you'd be the most gorgeous whale ever. Now come on, let me get on."
"If there's room…" she teased.
"Hush you."
Once he scooted on next to her, he wrapped the blanket around them both as he held her tight. As they laid there, Jack rested one hand against Elizabeth's belly, hoping to feel his son's movement. As usual, the little one did not disappoint.
"Sometimes I wonder how can I love someone so much that I've never met. Then, I remember."
"Mmm?" Elizabeth placed her hand over his.
"He's part you, made of our love. How can I not love him completely?"
"Jack, you are so…" She was interrupted by his kiss. It was soft, slow and sweet. There was nothing deep about it, but it was every bit as passionate as a kiss could be.
When he pulled away to lay on his back, he pulled her to his chest, holding her there, resting his lips on the top of her head, taking in her scent.
"I don't know what I would do without you, Elizabeth. I need you. Every day."
"I love you so much, Jack. But don't underestimate how amazingly strong you are. You won't have to, but if you had to you'd manage."
"No. I wouldn't. Elizabeth, if what happened last night happened and I didn't have you to lean on, you know what I'd do? I'd probably hole up somewhere and sulk over the fact that I let one of my men down. But I'd keep it to myself. That's what I'd do." He sighed so deep, she could feel it in his chest.
She shook her head adamantly. "No. You wouldn't. You would have a pity party for a bit, maybe. We all do that. Its therapeutic. But then you'd do what you do best. You'd be the big strong Captain and figure out how to be strong for whomever was around you. And if, and that's a big if, you are right… your mother would drive here and drag you out eventually."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that would be pleasant, I'm sure. Get out here, sonny. What do you think you're doing? Knitting or commanding company?" They both laughed at his impression of Charlotte.
After a few moments, Elizabeth decided to dive back into the heart of the matter. She didn't want to risk them losing the moment and missing the chance.
"Do you really believe what you said? That you let him down?" Jack stared at the clouds floating above their heads but said nothing. "Babe, you can tell me."
"I know." He pulled her closer, breathing her in. "I know what you'll say. I know what a lot of people will say. But then as far as how I feel, yeah, I do."
"I want to make that go away," she whispered.
"You can't," he whispered back. "Just be here with me?"
"Of course."
Before long Elizabeth was asleep in Jack's arms. He figured it would happen. Poor thing woke up early when the news broke and never made it back to sleep. Jack was tired too. Laying in the safety and security of her arms while listening to her slow rhythmic breathing quickly drew him into sleep as well.
….
Frank pulled his truck up behind Jack's jeep in the late afternoon. He didn't like dropping in on the young couple unannounced but after being unable to get ahold of either of them, he was left with no choice. He needed to see for himself that Jack was okay.
As Jack had been working through his own PTSD, Frank had been by his side. A night like he had last night was sure to have thrown him for a loop. Frank had never been a soldier. He never served in combat, but he had a past. Former troubled teen, turned troubled adult who got his life together and was stronger in the end. It wasn't the same, by any means, but a struggle nonetheless. He'd fight alongside Jack with this no matter what it took.
He knocked on the door a few times but no one came. He was about to give up and go home when he heard the jiggle of Rip's collar come from around the corner.
"Hey, bud. Mom and Dad around?" Rip huffed and turned as if signaling for Frank to follow.
He took in a deep breath of the almost fall air as he went. It was warm, but cool with the breeze, perfect. Walking out a few steps more, he noticed Jack and Elizabeth curled up on the hammock and smiled.
The blanket they had been using had slid almost completely off and was now mostly on the ground next to them. Frank walked over, picking it up and smiling at the sight of the lovely young couple. He wanted the world for them. A future. One not marred by the scars of war. He said a silent prayer as he draped the blanket back over them. His movements woke Jack and his eyes opened.
"Hey."
"Hi there, just thought you might need this." Frank said with a smile.
"Thanks." Jack adjusted the blanket around Elizabeth, kissing her cheek. He moved to scoot off the hammock, careful not to wake Elizabeth.
"What are you doing here?"
"You really need to ask?" Frank laughed quietly.
"This about last night?" Frank nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"Are you?" Frank wasn't buying it. "Jack, we talked before how drills like last night could have been hard regardless. Reliving a difficult mission, one that seems to be at the root of a lot of your PTSD. That alone was reason for concern. But now after what happened with the young soldier."
"Weaver."
"Yes. Weaver. One of your men. I don't want to push you but you know what you would need to do."
"You suggesting I go to a counseling session?"
"There's one tonight. I checked."
Jack looked over at Elizabeth sleeping away. She was like an angel. "I'd rather stay with Elizabeth tonight. I'm okay, I promise."
"If you're sure."
"I am. I'm upset, but its not PTSD. I just wish I had done more for Weaver. That's all. I'm fine."
"Jack?" Elizabeth stirred. "Where'd you go?" She sat up startled.
He rushed to her side. "I'm right here. Sorry."
"My fault, Elizabeth. I came by to see how you guys were holding up after last night."
"Oh," Jack and Frank both helped her off the hammock. "We're alright."
"Glad to hear it. There was another thing. Cody wanted me to ask if you guys wanted to come out to his game this evening."
"That's right!" Jack hit his forehead. "I've missed most of his summer ball games. "What time?"
"4 o'clock. We'll do a cookout at our house after if you're interested. Come to all or whatever part you'd like."
"You up for that, beautiful?" He asked.
Elizabeth smiled. Their nap seemed to do the trick. He was acting more like her Jack. "Of course. Anything for Cody."
"Oh, he'll be one happy kid! Thanks guys. Jack, we'll talk later."
"We will. Thanks, Frank."
