Anti-Litigation Charm: It all belongs to JKR; I play for non-profit amusement.
Author's Notes: Neither HBP nor DH compliant.
Conversation in Italics signifies MindSpeech.
Happy birthday, mom! This bonus chapter is for you. ^_^ (Sorry to all those who wanted the bonus chapter earlier in the week; I have no control over when my mother was born. ;) )
Reviews make me smile. Continuing thanks to those who have reviewed. Your feedback is very much appreciated. ^_^
The Problem with Purity
Chapter Forty-Eight: The Encounter
With a challenging glare, Hermione immediately moved next to Draco. Since she and the blond didn't spar nearly as often as she and Harry did, and since Harry and Severus didn't spar much, either, the older Slytherin didn't have a valid reason to protest the choice she had made.
His lips settled into a thin line, but he didn't object. She and Draco moved across the room before separating until there were several feet between them.
You and Severus still aren't getting along? Draco asked.
She faced him firmly.
I've got my wand pointed at you and official dispensation to hurt you. You might not want to discuss this right now.
He laughed. Touchy subject. Got it.
They settled in for a formal duel rather than the type that they would face in battle. They both knew that if they were simply to throw whatever they could at one another, she'd have an excellent chance of simply blasting him; although Severus and Draco had both become more powerful after sleeping with her and Harry, the increase in magical strength had been considerably larger for the two Pure Adults.
For a formal duel, though, they took turns casting, so they both got to practice their shielding, and Draco wasn't knocked unconscious in the first few minutes. She tried not to pay too much attention to how Severus and Harry were faring in their half of the room.
It was almost a quarter to nine when Severus told them to stop. She knew he was on his last nerve when he resorted to holding her back. It made Draco and Harry suspicious; they all knew that the latter worried about her, and Severus didn't much like to be fodder for any gossip, especially when it came to Harry. But hold her back he did, and once she had shooed Harry and Draco along, Severus warded the room so that there was no way the two boys could get back in.
"You've been avoiding me," he accused.
"We live in the same school and you teach me, both officially and unofficially," she indicated the room they were currently in.
He wasn't buying it. "You've been careful not to be alone with me."
She shrugged as carelessly as she could manage. "I thought some space might be beneficial to both of us."
"I upset you."
She drew a deep breath and let it out very slowly. He'd made her feel horrible. All she said, however, was, "I can't talk about this right now."
His face tightened. "We are going to talk about this."
She met his angry gaze squarely. "I have to work on the Weresbane in a few minutes. It can't wait."
His lips pressed together, and she was certain that he wanted to tell her to forget the Weresbane … but he couldn't.
"You will come to see me once you have finished," he pronounced.
"I won't be done until after eleven," she pointed out immediately. "I don't think—"
"You've come to my quarters later, Hermione," he snarled. "Don't be difficult, and don't make me come fetch you."
Looking at him, she was filled with the sure knowledge that he'd do it. She could ward to keep him out, but she knew that she wouldn't because in the mood he appeared to be in, he'd probably stand in the hallway and attempt to get in, and she couldn't risk any of the students seeing that. Nor did she want to imagine how Harry would react.
And there was a small part of her which was willing to admit that she wasn't being particular mature to keep running from this conversation.
"Very well," she conceded with bad grace. "After I finish with the Weresbane."
He offered her a curt nod, and she hurried back to her common room. Harry and Draco were waiting, and even Draco looked a little concerned.
"I have to work on the Weresbane," she said flatly in an attempt to curb any questions. "It's nothing for you to be worried about."
Neither looked convinced, but like Severus, they knew that the potion waited for no one, so they allowed her to pass.
The threat of the confrontation with Severus loomed over her and fractured her concentration. She managed the potion because she had no choice in the matter, but it wasn't the soothing occupation that it usual was.
As she tidied up shortly after eleven, she thought again about ignoring Severus's summons. But unless she went to live in the Forbidden Forest for a few days, he would track her down and probably humiliate her. It didn't feel very Gryffindor to be running from her fears, so she finally shored up her courage, finished with the washing up, and made her way out of her quarters. According to the wards, Harry and Draco were patrolling, so she was spared that confrontation.
She knocked once on Severus's door and waited, wondering if she could have knocked really softly and then run off when he hadn't answered…. If he'd fallen asleep, it was possible he hadn't heard—
The door opened. Severus stood there looking as tall and foreboding as he almost always did. Joy. He stepped aside, allowed her to enter, and closed the door firmly behind her. There were no wards in Hogwarts that she couldn't dismantle or control in a matter of minutes at most, yet the sound of that door closing had been very ominous. She'd evidently got herself more worked up than she'd realized.
He presented her with tea without having asked her if she wanted any, but the tension in the room seemed to ease marginally at the gesture. She once again found herself seated before the fire, and it was her turn to stare into the flames and try to avoid looking at the man beside her.
He took up the conversation right where it had left off in Room One. "I upset you."
She swallowed, still not looking at him. "You're entitled to your feelings."
"As are you to yours," he answered with an edge of impatience, as though she were being very stupid. His voice was marginally softer as he continued, "I offended you, and that was not my intention."
She assembled her words with care, as it was clear he wasn't going to let this alone. "I was … saddened that you were so unreceptive to my plan on Sunday."
Frustration was evident in his voice. "I didn't tell you to stop."
"You didn't have to!" she snarled, twisting to face him incredulously. "I'm not going to keep doing something that makes you uncomfortable."
His lips were pinched. "I wouldn't have stopped you."
"All the more reason for me to stop myself." She turned away from him again, wrapping her arms around her torso protectively, hating having to talk about this as it stirred up all the hurt feelings that she had been trying to suppress since Sunday. In an effort to get this over with, she whispered, "I would prefer if you would just tell me what sort of behaviour on my part is acceptable to you."
She was startled when she felt a hand on her knee. Severus had risen from his own chair and was kneeling before hers, an incongruous position for the man if ever there was one. He reached up to brush a hand down her face, and she made no move to stop him. It was a delicate touch, and she found herself wanting to lean into it, though she did not allow herself to do that, either.
"That is not what happened," he said, voice unusually gentle. "There wasn't anything wrong with your behaviour."
"Well, something clearly went quite wrong," she snapped. "I assure you that the evening did not unfold as I had planned."
She could hear the thread of dark amusement in his voice and see it in the light in his eyes. "I imagine not. Your perceptiveness allowed you to witness a weakness that I had not intended to display to you."
"If you need to be in control, you need only say."
Far too much of what that made her worry about must have been evident in her voice because the hand that was touching her face fell away while the one on her knee tightened painfully for an instant before he recovered and loosened his grasp.
He was silent for a moment, clearly gathering his thoughts before he offered stiffly, "That was not how it was between Lily and me, nor—"
He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to. She had always wondered and been equally careful never to ask about his first time, but she had suspected that being an outcast in Slytherin house when all those wizard libidos had been raging would not be a very safe position for him.
Between that initial experience and how it had been with Lily—not to mention what he might have gone through once he was a Death Eater—he didn't ever want to repeat it. She got that without his having to say the actual words.
"I understand." Plastering an approximation of a smile on her lips as he looked at her doubtfully, she said firmly, "I'll just let you call the shots. That's fine."
He was now sporting a very sour expression that indicated that this notion did not meet with his approval.
"It's not all about me," he ground out. "You have needs as well."
She had no idea if he'd said those words to anyone before, but she could see what an effort he was making now. And she hadn't expected their relationship to be perfect. "What I need is for you to be happy. The rest of the details aren't important."
"It has … been a long time since anyone has put my needs above their own." The words were stilted, but he spoke them, and she was rather amazed that they were still having this conversation, that he hadn't snapped or snarled or thrown her out yet. "But I won't allow you to make all the concessions."
She blinked at him. "But I don't mind conceding on this point."
"Of course you do!" He sounded quite aggravated. "It upset you so much that you left the room and have been avoiding me ever since. You're proposing a concession that will leave you unhappy, and I'm telling you that it won't be necessary."
For someone who was claiming that he wouldn't call all the shots, she thought that whole speech had come out rather autocratically, and she felt a bizarre urge to both laugh and cry that left her feeling really quite muddled.
She let out a huff of breath. "Then I think we are rather at an impasse, Severus. I don't wish to make you unhappy, and you profess to wish the same for me. Since our needs are opposite on this topic, there does not seem to be a viable solution."
"Our last encounter occurred when I was not anticipating it," he said curtly. "You need not concern yourself over any feelings of discomfort that I might experience in the future."
She made a face. "I'm not having sex with you because you've geared yourself up and are laying back and thinking of England." His expression was caught somewhere between outraged and amused, and she added irritably, "Or whatever it is you would be doing. I don't want it to be an onerous chore that I have to warn you about in advance so that you can prepare yourself for it."
"Well, that's fine," he said, and the snarl was back in his voice, "because that isn't what will be happening. That's something out of a bad romance, not what's happening here. I assure you that I am quite reconciled to the notion that you wanted to explore with me."
She sighed. Reconciled was a far cry from the ringing endorsement that she had been looking for. Even if he didn't think of it as such, she knew that she would feel as though she were forcing herself upon him. It didn't matter that he was physically stronger and was sitting here telling her that it was what he wanted. She knew that he wasn't actually comfortable with what was going on, and that meant she wasn't going for it. Severus evidently saw this resolution on her face because he rose to his feet and stared down at her.
"Hermione, you are quite clearly thinking too hard about this and making it far more complicated than it needs to be. I want to have sex with you. You want to have sex with me. I am perfectly all right with you being in control, and you want to be in control, so we don't have a problem." She started to shake her head, and he let out a growl of frustration. "What do I have to do to convince you?"
She shook her head. "Nothing. I know what I saw, and it was only three nights ago. I refuse to make you uncomfortable like that again."
His eyes narrowed. "That sounds rather like you've issued a challenge. I accept."
She frowned. "Accept what?"
"To show you that you don't make me feel uncomfortable like I was before. If that's the only reason you won't proceed, then I insist that you prove the validity of your argument."
Unfortunately, she'd walked right into that one.
"Very well," she conceded unhappily.
His lips twisted. "Could you please greet the prospect of having sex with me with a little more enthusiasm?"
She made a face at him. "What would you have me do?"
"Whatever it is you had planned before. We ought to reconstruct the events."
She looked down at herself, suddenly aware that she hadn't made any real attempt to clean herself before this encounter. Her lab might be spotless, but her fancy underwear had been done away with and her hair was probably a mess.
"I hadn't exactly planned—" she said, looking towards the door.
"You look fine," he interrupted. "Don't make me hex you."
She wasn't certain if he was getting snarky because he was being denied or because he was unhappy, but she did wonder at the fact that he wouldn't even let her leave the room. Did he think that she was going to make a break for it if he let her leave to tidy up? She let that idiotic notion soothe her a little.
He was determined, he'd made a logical argument, and he wasn't going to let her out of the room. And all things being equal, she did want to sleep with him. It looked as though it was time to give in to the inevitable.
"I believe you know the way to your bedroom?"
He moved without a word, and she followed him to find that he'd stopped once he'd arrived in the room, staring at her passively and clearly waiting for more instructions.
"Shoes off," she instructed, kicking off her own, and Severus obeyed. "You don't need your teaching robe, either."
Without a word, he shrugged out of it. Her issuing orders and his silence compliance was not exactly how she'd anticipated the evening going. It was sort of creepy, actually, and given how badly it had ended last time when she had at least known what she wanted, she was quite sure that this was doomed to failure.
In his sock feet, Severus suddenly crossed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He brought his lips to hers, deepening the kiss until she melted utterly against him and would do whatever he asked. He could have pulled her into bed and she would have gone without complaint, but instead he drew back enough to whisper in her ear and send a shiver down her spine, "What's your pleasure, Hermione?"
She'd had a plan before, so-called, and it looked as though she was going to have to resurrect it and hope for the best. Mentally squaring her shoulders and firming her resolve, she pulled him over to the bed.
He went down willingly onto the soft surface this time, and she settled on top of him once again, watching him carefully for so much as a hint of discomfort. At the moment, it seemed as though she was still far more nervous than he was, and hoping that kissing would continue to have such a salutary effect, she leaned down to meld their lips together and lose herself in him.
Once she felt able to continue, she began anew her button hole by button hole removal of his shirt. True to his word, he didn't look uncomfortable, although she couldn't be certain if that was because he wasn't uncomfortable or because he'd hidden it better this time round. Unless she resorted to Legilimency—which would be certain to ruin the mood and result in her being tossed out on her arse—she was going to have to trust what she was seeing, and that said that he was enjoying her exploration thus far.
Her mouth followed the path of her hands, pressing open-mouthed kisses and gentle nips to the skin she found as she mapped out his chest with inquisitive fingers. She paid special attention to any scar tissue that she came across, laving it with her tongue and trying her best to reinforce with actions what he hadn't accepted with words during their first time together: his scars didn't bother her, and she wanted him to know how desirable she found him.
He squirmed slightly as she licked his nipples, causing her to smile in satisfaction. His hands had come up to weave into her hair and tighten spasmodically as she found sensitive areas on his body.
Lower still, and she undid his belt and pulled it from the belt loops with a hiss of leather. She'd heard Lavender and Parvati go on about women who could do that with their mouths, but Hermione had discarded the idea when she realized that she would only look a complete fool when she didn't manage it and had to resort to her hands to get the belt off in the end.
She unbuttoned and unzipped Severus's trousers and then slid them off, tugging his socks off as well and discarding it all over the end of the bed.
She discovered that there was a spot on his right hipbone that was particularly ticklish. His breath hitched when she lavished attention on a small, thick scar on his left side that looked to have been made with a blade of some sort. His erection was tenting his pants, and every time she arched over it to give attention to some other body part, she could feel the momentary strain in his leg muscles as he sought to control the instinctive urge to thrust his body up against her and bring himself some relief from the slow torture to which she was subjecting him.
Not wishing for the potential disaster of working an elastic waistband over this protuberance, she wandlessly Vanished the material. Severus's eyes were glittering brilliantly, his skin flushed and glistening faintly with sweat. He still didn't look uncomfortable—he'd looked downright eager for much of what she'd done, and the noises she had surprised out of him had been quite encouraging—so she steadied her nerves for her next attempt.
She smiled at him, probably more nervously than seductively, and then focussed her attention between his legs. Here went nothing. His erection was long and thick, dark red with arousal, the tip glistening. Cautiously, she reached out a hand and slid the pads of her fingers down its length. He let out a very loud exhalation, hips bucking, and she settled herself more firmly on his thighs, smiling at him fleetingly in genuine pleasure before turning her attention back to the task at hand.
Curling her fingers around the velvety softness, she stroked down his shaft and then back up to the tip, garnering a loud moan from the man beneath her. She shifted back so that she was settled on his knees, hoping this would be the most comfortable position for what she was about to attempt next.
Leaning down, she swiped with the flat of her tongue along the slit on the head, lapping up the beading precome. He groaned, hips flexing once more, and she finally had the opportunity to try what she'd wanted to do since the first night they'd been together.
She knew this still wasn't going to be anywhere near the most accomplished blowjob he'd ever received, but she'd worked out what she thought was manageable and wouldn't leave her looking a complete fool on her first attempt.
Reminding herself over and over in her head to be careful with her teeth, she took the head of his erection into her mouth and sucked on it. After a moment, she remembered to keep up the movement of her right hand, stroking all the flesh she couldn't take into her mouth. Her other hand was pressed against his hips, hopefully minimizing the likelihood of his bucking into her mouth and causing her to choke.
Chances of horribly embarrassing newbie mistakes thereby lessened, she set about to suck as strongly as she could. She was able to move down his shaft a little, she discovered, and she made a sort of rhythm out of that movement coupled with the up and down motion of her hand. Each time he made any sort of noise or involuntary motion she felt a sense of triumph and happiness that made her want to grin like an idiot—fortunately difficult to do given her current occupation. She was bringing him this pleasure, making the man she loved squirm beneath her, and it was wonderful.
Severus's hands clenched more tightly in her hair and suddenly he was coming with a short cry, and she discovered that swallowing was a talent that she hadn't entirely mastered. She tried and narrowly managed not to choke, but some of the bitter fluid leaked down her face.
Trying not to feel awkward, she carefully wiped it up as she watched anxiously as Severus's breathing began to even out to normal.
His voice was still slightly gravelly when he spoke. "You didn't have to do that."
It was like a kick to the stomach.
Lavender and Parvati had always gone on and on about how men positively adored this. Hermione had thought that it was going all right, but she had to have done a horrible job indeed for him to be trying to avoid it like that. The last thing he'd want to add to this disaster was a crying witch bothering him, so she did her best to block off enough of her emotions that she was likely to make it out of the room without incident.
"All right, then," she said as she climbed off of him. Here was twice that she could be relieved that she'd remained clothed in these encounters. Fleeing was much more easily accomplished when there was no nudity to overcome on the way. "I'd better get going before Harry calls out the guards."
"Hermione, don't walk out on me again." He sounded angry.
She stiffened but refused to turn around. "We've done what you intended."
"This was your idea," he reminded her harshly.
"Actually," she snarled as she whirled back, "it was your idea that we do this now. You were kind enough to humour me, and now we've finished."
He was out of the bed in a moment and across the room to seize her by her upper arms, looking at her fiercely.
"Why would you think that I was humouring you?"
She pulled away from him, trying to ignore the fact that he was naked and very appealing even when she was hurt.
"I don't want to discuss this," she told him flatly. "It's over with, and we don't need to speak of it ever again."
He frowned at her. "That is not want I meant."
"Fine. Now, unless you intend to keep me here forcibly against my will, let me go."
He released her abruptly. "I don't want to keep you here against your will, I want to talk to you without your instantly trying to run away."
"Severus," she said with a sigh, "it's late, and I'm tired. What's so damn important?"
His expression was still dark. "What you just did, it was … very enjoyable."
She hadn't missed his hesitation before he came up with what he no doubt deemed a not-too-depressing descriptor.
"But it need never be repeated," she finished for him. "I'd gathered as much, thank you, so you needn't belabour the point."
He let out an incredulous-sounding bark of laughter.
"Damn it, Hermione, the number of times anyone's done that for me can be counted on one hand, so if you felt like doing it once a month, I'd be a very lucky man. But I'm not going to force you to do anything against your will."
In spite of herself, she found herself asking, "And why would you think that it was against my will?"
He did not quite meet her gaze as he answered stiffly, "You were quite obviously reluctant during our first encounter."
She shook her head. "You've missed it again. I was as eager to do it now as I was then, but I didn't have any experience."
His eyes snapped to hers, and she was stunned by the sudden fury she saw in them. "So you acquired some experience, did you?"
What he was suggesting was so far out of the realm of what she'd been thinking that it took her a moment to realize what he was implying.
"Severus, you're the only person I've done that with or have ever wanted to do it with. My only concern at the time was that I didn't want to displease you."
"You can't."
She scoffed outright, although she was actually touched by this immediate daft reply. "I've probably displeased you just about every day we've known one another."
"You know what I mean," he growled.
She shook her head. "Actually, I have no idea what you mean. You're one of the most critical people I know."
"If you don't wish to pursue a relationship with me, you need only say so." The words were stilted.
"I'm not saying that at all," she said, now frustrated in her turn. "I'm one of the most critical people I know."
"So should I be concerned about harsh criticisms from you?" he asked, tone suddenly surprisingly mild.
"I don't have any reason to complain in that regard," she responded without thought. "You're wonderful." She flushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
He smirked slightly, but his question held no mockery. "Then why do you assume that I have any complaints?"
She swallowed. "Do you not?"
He let out a huff of breath. "Hermione, you took charge of our sexual encounter in order to spend all your time pleasing me. You're almost two decades younger than I, and yet you've decided that it is currently me with whom you want to spend your time. You have no cause for concern, I assure you."
She had a weird moment where all she could remember was her discussion with Remus at Christmas time. She wondered if it had been less awkward for Tonks to fight for him because she was those few years older than Hermione and presumably not nearly as much as a novice when it came to romantic relationships and sexual encounters.
She smiled faintly but was unable to keep the uncertainty out of her voice as she asked, "You really didn't dislike it?"
He hauled her into his arms. "I'd like to think that my reaction earlier speaks for itself. Did I seem displeased?"
She shook her head. "I thought it went rather well. But I know it wasn't the best blowjob in the world, and there're all kinds of techniques I don't know, and—"
He lifted her chin with one long, slender finger. "Then allow me to volunteer myself as your test subject."
"Oh?"
"Hmm," he agreed. "You can improve your skills, and I'll just have to suffer through it."
Her lip curled up. "Not getting any benefit for yourself."
"None whatsoever," he agreed with mock solemnity.
She twined her arms round his neck. "Thank you."
"Thank you," he corrected with quiet emphasis. "You don't give up easily."
"Gryffindor pigheadedness," she agreed, although she'd been showing some cowardice recently, too. "We're annoyingly persistent."
"In this instance," he clarified dryly, "I don't object."
"All right."
"Now," he pressed himself intimately against her, making her especially aware that his naked body was so very close to her, "is there not anything I can do for you before you go?"
"Mm," she moaned. "But I really ought to get back to the boys. I wanted you to have a lovely night."
"And I did. But the night would be lovelier if you were pleased as well."
"I'm pleased that you are pleased," she answered. "I'm happy when you're happy."
"I suspect that philosophy will get you into trouble one day." His expression was wry. "But if you insist…."
"I wouldn't say no to a goodnight kiss," she said hopefully.
She had the opportunity to see that his face had softened slightly at her words and then his mouth was hungrily devouring hers. If he really wanted to prevent her from leaving a room, all he had to do was kiss her like this, and she would forget that they had even been arguing.
Make-up sex—or make-up intimacy—was apparently very effective. She believed that it was important that couples actually talk out and resolve their problems, but it was still nice to know that there was a pleasurable alternative in case of emergency.
When he finally drew back, she smiled at him stupidly.
"I'll make sure to ask for these every night."
"And you shall receive them if that is your wish," he responded with only faint amusement. "I'm glad you approve."
She pulled back, still smiling. "I'm going now."
"If you insist."
He still sounded flatteringly reluctant, a welcome relief to how she had thought he was behaving about the incident.
She stuck to her resolve, however. "It's the middle of the week, and I'm fairly certain you don't want Draco and Harry to start tracking when we have sex."
As predicted, he grimaced immediately. "The less Mr Potter knows about my—our—sex life, the happier I will be. Now, go away."
Amused by this abrupt change of opinion, she offered him a last smile before heading out of the bedroom and back to her own quarters. It turned out to be a wise plan not to have stayed the night because Harry was waiting for her in the common room.
"You all right?" he asked anxiously.
She had to forcibly stop herself from smoothing down her hair self-consciously or straightening her robes. There was nothing like a guilty conscious to get one caught when the question had actually been an innocent one.
"I'm perfectly fine, Harry," she answered with what she thought was a pretty normal tone. "You needn't always wait around for me, you know."
"I know. I just worry."
"But you don't need to. I'm perfectly able to take care of myself and in this instance, it's just disrupting your life. Where's Draco?"
Harry made a face. "He's in bed. Where I should be, according to him."
"And he's perfectly right," she answered firmly. "I left while you were out; how did you know?"
"Hammered at the door and you didn't answer."
She regarded him with amused disapproval. "And if I'd made an early night of it and was trying to sleep?"
He grimaced. "That's exactly what Draco said."
"Then Draco's being very sensible right now, unlike you," she chided gently.
"You just … you've seemed very upset the last few days," he said in a rush.
"And I appreciate that you're concerned," she answered. She'd thought she'd hid it better than that, but she supposed she'd been a complete ninny about the mousse. "But you've got your own life to live, and I've got mine. If I'm ever in trouble or need to talk to you, you may rest assured that I will do so."
He frowned. "But you're always looking out for me when I don't know that I'm in trouble or haven't worked out how to ask for help. I just want to be here for you, too."
"I appreciate it, Harry, but I'm not in need of that particular form of assistance currently."
Harry sighed. "All right, just promise me you'll talk to me if you need me."
"I promise," she answered solemnly.
He rose to his feet. "Right, then, I'll just go see if Draco's going to let me into my own room."
She smiled at him, amused because not only had Draco not gone back to his own room when he'd been cross with Harry, Harry had matter-of-factly accepted the blond taking over his bedroom. She wondered if Harry would be sleeping on the couch in the common room if Draco wouldn't take him back.
Snorting to herself at the bizarreness of relationships, she took a quick shower before heading to bed. She felt a great deal better than she had for several days now, and she realized how very true it was that her happiness was tied inextricably to Severus's, just as she'd told him. When they were cross with one another, it seemed to be quite detrimental to her well-being.
With luck, there wouldn't be any reason for Harry to detect anything the matter with her for the next couple of days. She and Severus seemed to be able to keep it together for that long, at least, and Harry would hopefully be placated.
As she lay in bed and wished that she was in bed with her own Slytherin—just as Harry was with his, according to the wards—she hoped that she and Severus would be able to get along for whole weeks in a row. Even one week to start would be nice. Running through the list of secrets that she currently had, she thought that Severus knew the vast majority of them. There didn't seem to be huge misunderstandings that had yet to be cleared up, and they seemed to have clarified that they both wanted one another. If they hadn't quite got as far as saying for how long, there was still time for that. One week, then, without any major fights; she imagined it was too much to hope that they wouldn't fight at all.
Thursday and Friday were both excellent days. Hermione tried to prevent herself from constantly smiling like an idiot; eventually, someone would accuse her of being well-shagged, and while the last month had resulted in far more sex than the other nineteen years of her life combined, the fact of the matter was that she was blissfully happy because Severus was happy and because their relationship seemed to be in a genuinely happy place.
Of course, that wasn't to say that she wouldn't say no to lots of sex in the near future. Really, she and Severus should have one room or at least adjoining rooms. She wasn't sure that she felt quite right about asking the castle to do that for her; it wasn't the same as asking for someone else's benefit…. She supposed she was just going to have to plan to have sex with Severus discreetly over weekends or whenever it seemed least likely to disrupt their lives in ways that couldn't be allowed.
Friday evening, Hermione didn't have to work on the Weresbane until half two in the morning, so at the earliest opportunity after dinner, she sneaked away from Harry and Draco and over to Severus's quarters. There, she discovered that he had rounds to complete and marking to do, but she installed herself in the armchair by the fire and told him that she would be there whenever he found the time for her.
This resulted, she was amused to note, in his finding time for her in very short order, neither the grading nor the rounds being completed. She wasn't one for shirking of responsibilities, but since Severus seemed desirous of seeing what it was like to have sex on the rug in front of the fire, she was hardly going to complain. She began to wonder, in fact, if the students needed their work back at all ever, but she didn't get quite so carried away as to ask that question.
After their very pleasurable encounter on the rug, she had to convince him that what he'd wanted had been perfectly pleasing to her, and she definitely didn't want to be in charge of all of their encounters or even to swap back and forth. She liked what he planned for them and suspected that much of their intimacy would concentrate on mutual enjoyment such that the issue of who was in control wouldn't even come up.
What had unsettled her previously, she found herself explaining, was the prospect that in order to keep him happy, she could never direct what they were doing. She knew that was no longer the case, and it was more knowing that the option was there than making use of it at all times.
Once he'd ascertained to his satisfaction that she meant this honestly and wasn't simply placating him, he was happy to pull her into the bedroom so that he could furnish her with another example of why she was very happy that she'd chosen him for a mate.
She didn't suppose she'd ever be able to tell Lavender and Parvati, but there were apparently some men who had a talent for oral sex and would perform it on more than one occasion without being asked.
By the time she'd recovered from the afterglow, Severus had recovered enough from their activities in front of the rug for another go, and she got to experience more orgasms in one night than ever before.
They dropped off into a mutually sated sleep.
Hermione woke at two in the morning, her internal clock waking her so precisely that she didn't feel completely guilty for not having set an actual alarm. She slid as carefully out of the bed as she could.
"Where are you going?"
His voice was rough with sleep, but he seemed to have gathered, despite his state, that her movements hadn't been indicative of a quick trip to the loo.
"I have to work on the Weresbane," she said softly. "Go back to sleep."
"Bed's cold."
She revised her estimate of just how awake he was and leaned back down over the bed so that she could kiss him. As he began to sleepily respond, she slowly gentled the kiss and pulled back.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
She could hear him grumbling as she Summoned her clothing and pulled it on. This made her grin as she Masked herself and made her way back to her own room. If he were always this adorable when he was woken from slumber by her attempt to leave quietly, she'd be doing it just to see that reaction. He really did seem to be making an attempt to integrate her into his life, and she hoped this was not her imagination but rather a good omen for the future.
She slipped back into her quarters, pleased that Harry and Draco were in bed, as she'd dressed in the dark in Severus's quarters and doubted that she looked as though she'd just come in from visiting her herd. She wasn't ashamed of her relationship with Severus, and she wouldn't ever want him to think so, but she would prefer to keep the details to herself for a little while longer yet. At least a week, she'd decided, before she would be reasonably certain it wasn't all about to self-destruct.
Once she reached her bedroom, she unMasked and changed; she'd slept for a bit and her clothing had been strewn about Severus's bedroom, so she thought fresh was in order.
She worked quickly and efficiently and managed the work for the Weresbane with a light heart, only emphasizing for her once again how much better her life was when she and Severus were getting along. She was sure that everyone else would find her completely mental that she was starting to find him cute—and he would probably be offended—but there it was. He'd wanted a personal heater in bed tonight, and she'd been more tempted than she could say to crawl right back into bed and cuddle with him.
The Weresbane didn't wait for her even when her life was going well, however, and she only had one batch after this one until the Final Battle. Hopefully, that meant she'd be able to arrange more time with Severus.
By the time she finished with the potion, it was almost five o'clock in the morning. She'd had an hour or two of sleep with Severus, and since there was so little of the night left, rather than trying to sleep more, she headed out to the Forest to see Castina.
The mare came out to greet her immediately, and Hermione found herself gushing to her herd mare about how well it was going with Severus. Every once in a while she would remember to add some sort of caveat about how she knew that their relationship hadn't been going on for very long and there was plenty of opportunity for more to go wrong, but most of the time she simply expressed all her happiness and excitement.
Castina, Hermione recognized, was rather amused but pleased by this outpouring of happy emotions. Hermione had been coming out to the Forest so frequently because she was upset that it was a bit unusual now for her to be chattering happily to the unicorn.
Her herd mare was firmly of the opinion that Hermione deserved a great deal of happiness, and if she was finally getting it with Severus, it was about time. Hermione was just glad that she had someone whom she could confide in, since the inhabitants of the castle weren't exactly non-partisan on this matter. Harry might have declared that he was supporting her choice, but that didn't mean that he really wanted to know that she was actively in a relationship with Severus, and she knew that he definitely didn't want to hear any details.
The unicorn was happy to hear anything Hermione wanted to share, and by the time she was back in the castle, she felt as though a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Someone else was happy for her, and she and Severus weren't fighting yet.
She was industriously revising long before Harry and Draco stirred from their bedroom, but they were up in time to head up to the Great Hall together. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend of term, and that meant they'd all be heading off to patrol shortly.
Voldemort's activities had been rather curtailed ever since she broke into his hideaway. Rumour had it that he was taking some care to lie low in the new location of his choice, and she was pleased that her intervention had had this collateral benefit. She knew that it was only a matter of time before he displayed all his strength, but given that he now knew about the warding in June, it was likely that he wouldn't want to give away too much of his strength before that event.
If all was going according to plan, he thought he had the perfect opportunity to injure them, and her rescue of Severus had given him an excuse to look as though he'd given up or suffered a serious setback. He could quietly amass his army, and while that wasn't exactly good for them, they had always known that he was going to come with one, and the fewer people he attacked in the meantime, the safer the wizarding world would be. Meanwhile, they were perfectly aware of the fact that he was coming, and they could continue quietly with their own preparations.
There were still plenty of professors, Prefects, and Aurors patrolling the visit to Hogsmeade, as no one was willing to take the risk of assuming in error that Voldemort wouldn't attack Hogsmeade. Although most of the fifth- and seventh-years weren't in attendance unless they were Prefects, the younger students were taking the opportunity to pretend that exams weren't right around the corner, so there was a great deal of boisterous behaviour and far too much sugar consumed.
Hermione wasn't certain how Albus had managed it, but Severus was not amongst the professors who were patrolling. Hermione had been worried that while Voldemort might decide that the students were not enough of a reason to attack the village, the lure of a traitor who had escaped him would be too strong to resist.
When Severus was beyond the bounds of the wards, he was also more vulnerable to attack from any of the students who supported Voldemort; neither she nor Albus could monitor him in Hogsmeade. They knew that Tracey Davis, at least, supported Voldemort, but Severus couldn't avoid her because it was important that they act as though they weren't aware of her true allegiances. He'd never patrolled in pairs in the past, and she'd known that suggesting that they walk around together wouldn't have gone over well.
But Albus had succeeded, and Severus was up at the castle the entire morning; Hermione had even convinced a rather amused Fawkes to promise to keep an eye on the Slytherin and to physically bar him from leaving the castle if need be. Severus would no doubt be outraged at this bit of interference and irritated by how much she'd worried, but the feelings persisted.
She had hoped that not having to worry about Severus's safety would make the visit relatively pleasant for her, but she didn't like running after sugar-high children under any circumstances, and the entire visit was actually rather awkward, although Hermione couldn't put her finger on exactly what the problem was.
It might have been the fact that rather than being the trio that they had become accustomed to recently—her, Harry, and Draco—or the Golden trio of old, it was the four of them who spent the afternoon patrolling together. Half the time, it seemed as though Ron and Draco were jockeying for a position with Harry; if Ron dragged Harry off to see something Quidditch-related, the next thing she knew, Draco was dragging him off for tea.
The look on Harry's face said that he'd picked up on it, too. Everyone was excessively cordial, so they couldn't accuse either Ron or Draco of being rude or inappropriate, but it was as though Harry was constantly being pulled in two different directions even when he was standing right there with her. When she tried to take him off to look at a book on advanced shields that she thought he might be interested in, Ron and Draco united in their desire to take him for a Butterbeer.
What's going on? Harry asked her plaintively.
She gave a mental shake of her head. Not a clue. But it is our last Hogsmeade visit. Maybe they want to share that with you.
Were it not for the necessity of helping all the sugar-happy children she'd been wading through for the past several hours, she wouldn't have been here at all this weekend; Hogsmeade wasn't going anywhere, after all, and once she graduated, she'd be able to visit it whenever she wished—which would not include Hogsmeade weekends for future Hogwarts students.
Whatever was going on, neither she nor Harry seemed to be feeling as adamant as Ron and Draco, so Harry allowed himself to be tugged along to see Madam Rosmerta. Since many of the students were in there—drinking and ogling the witch who ran the establishment—Hermione supposed it made an adequate place for them to look in on.
As she watched Ron get all tongue-tied and awkward in Rosmerta's presence, Hermione wondered idly if Severus was as taken with the woman. Harry and Draco seemed all right, but as they were gay and quite committed to one another, she didn't suppose they were very good examples. Still, no matter how Severus felt, Hermione couldn't imagine him making such a fool of himself as Ron did every time, so she probably didn't have much to worry about.
As always, Hermione was greatly relieved when it was time to return to the castle. It was nearly dinner time, as there'd been many stragglers for them to round up and send back to the castle, and she was perturbed that she'd missed such a large portion of her day. She knew the students wanted their last gasp of fun, but honestly, she had a great many more important things to worry about.
Fawkes, still sounding indecently amused, informed her that Severus had been a very good boy and stayed inside all day.
You better watch yourself, bird, or I'll tell him you said that, she threatened.
You better watch yourself, Girlicorne, he returned, or I'll tell him you asked me to watch out for him.
She mentally stuck her tongue out at him, and he laughed.
There seemed to be an inordinate amount of shuffling to get seated at dinner, and she found herself seated between Draco and Neville, because Ron was seated on Harry's other side with Ginny next to him. Hermione shrugged to herself. She liked both Draco and Neville, and if there was something that was going on that she was missing, no one had been seriously injured yet.
The redhead and the blond kept engaging Harry in conversation, causing his head to turn back and forth rapidly, and Hermione finally gave up entirely on tracking what they were discussing and sank into her own musings instead.
She really wouldn't miss the Hogsmeade visits, but the fact that her last one was over did reinforce for her the fact that a chapter of her life was closing with a great deal of rapidity. Soon she'd have her whole life ahead of her, and she'd have to figure out exactly what it was that she wanted to do with it. She had many ideas but not a lot of conclusions yet, and she supposed that a great deal was riding on how events unfolded in June.
Assuming they were successful—although really, they'd either be successful or she'd be dead and not need to worry about her future plans—she'd probably want a vacation, but she'd need to get working on the Weresbane for all the other werewolves in the world. Still, they'd been tweaking and streamlining the procedure with each trial, and she was sure that she'd have lots of volunteers to help once all the British werewolves were cured.
And even needing to cure the werewolves, she could surely take at least a little vacation, maybe a week or two somewhere warm where she had no responsibilities. It didn't even have to be warm, in point of fact, as she couldn't really imagine Severus on a sunny beach in the tropics. Just somewhere where they could have some quiet time, then. A little cottage, maybe, near the sea.
Glancing up at the High Table, she found her picture put into amusing perspective because Severus was sitting up there in very high dudgeon indeed. Just the thought of dragging him off to a cottage now so that they could spend a week together in solitude was enough to make her want to burst into giggles. He looked as though he were trying to curse people into stone with just his eyes again, and she shook her head at herself as she wondered why this made her think of him so fondly.
In the interest of assuring that the students' last week of Potions classes weren't full of horrid memories, she had probably better go see him after dinner and attempt to get him out of his completely dreadful mood. She did not, of course, have any ulterior motives that involved seeing him and having sex.
After dinner, she therefore followed Harry, Draco, and Ron down to the common room, not even asking why Ron was with them instead of inventing some sort of excuse against studying that involved next year's Quidditch team and coaching Ginny on the captaincy or something of that nature.
He claimed nothing of the sort, however, and they all settled down in the common room before Hermione enacted her plan and announced suddenly that she needed to see Charity about a detail from Muggle Studies.
None of them seemed to notice that she had conveniently chosen the one class that none of them were taking with her, although this may have been because Harry was caught between Ron and Draco as they continued to vie for his attention, both scrupulously polite, and it was really rather scary. She doubted the other two had even heard her announcement.
She escaped with a feeling of relief, and since she was leaving Harry in the room with his boyfriend and his best friend, she refused to feel bad about getting out while she had the chance.
The wards informed her that Severus was in his quarters, and she was admitted a moment later by a not-very-happy-looking Potions professor.
She settled herself into the chair by the fire of her own accord when she wasn't invited.
"How was your day?" she asked politely, thinking this would be a good place to start.
Sitting down in his own chair, he offered her his patented glare of death.
"Oh, it was simply charming. For some reason, the old man," he snarled, and her eyebrows rose, because she'd never heard him speak of the headmaster in that manner before, "decided that I needed to look through several of the most dusty and ancient tomes of complete nonsense." His glare deepened. "I suppose you had a lovely time in Hogsmeade."
She pursed her lips, staring at him challengingly. "I'll thank you not to take your ill temper out on me. Of course I didn't have a lovely time in Hogsmeade; we were chaperoning a bunch of little monsters in an attempt to protect them from their own stupidity. A duty, I might add, that you regularly attempt to get out of, so why you're complaining, I don't have the slightest idea."
He stared at her angrily. She thought she was about to be witness to a very fine display of temper when, to her surprise, his face relaxed and an almost smile played around the corner of his lips.
"It is something I attempt to get out of, isn't it?"
She relaxed and smiled. "Yes, it is."
He huffed. "I'm not apologizing to that man."
She snorted. "I don't imagine he expects you to. But you really didn't miss anything. Ron and Draco spent the day dragging Harry after them, and Harry and I were stuck in the middle."
"I'm exceedingly sorry for you," he said without a trace of regret.
She let out a short bark of laughter. "I can well imagine that you are, disagreeable man. Why don't you come over here and make me feel better?"
Whatever his feelings for what she'd suffered at Hogsmeade, he didn't seem to object to this invitation, and she soon found herself seated in his lap and being quite thoroughly kissed.
"Mm," she said when she was allowed to breathe again. "Well, that is a vast improvement."
She hadn't even been feeling that poorly to begin with, but those kisses, she decided, were always welcome.
"I'm so glad to have passed muster in that regard," Severus said dryly, but the glint in his eyes suggested that he was actually pleased.
She'd worked him out of his bad mood quite successfully, she thought, and she should probably go be supportive of Harry, so she attempted not to sound too reluctant as she said, "I should probably get going. Harry will be expecting me back, I imagine."
"What did you tell him you were doing?" Severus asked curiously.
She grinned. "Asking for a point of clarification for exams, obviously. What else would I be doing with my Saturday evening?"
This surprised another slight smile out of him. "What, indeed? You'd better be careful or you're going to lose your reputation for badgering all your professors at all times."
She made a face at him. "That's hardly fair, Severus. Most of my questions were restrained to class time or normal office hours. And it takes work to be top of the class."
"I am well aware of that fact, Hermione, but you have always been … very enthusiastic."
He sounded as though he'd substitute this last for something less polite.
"You say that as though it were a bad thing," she said, regarding him challengingly.
"Well—"
"Shall I attempt to curb my enthusiasm currently?" she suggested sweetly.
His face darkened, the glitter in his eyes telling her that he'd understood her threat quite clearly.
"I think not," he growled.
"Oh?" she said loftily. "But you've just got over telling me that I'm entirely too enthusiastic—"
Her words were abruptly cut off when she found herself in the air and being transported rather haphazardly to the bedroom. She needed, she decided, to bait Severus much more frequently in matters that related to sex because she loved seeing him display his enthusiasm.
She'd always known he was an extremely passionate man; knowing that she aroused some of that passion made her feel desired and made it seem as though it were possible that more of his deeper feelings were engaged than he ever let on. She could hope, anyway.
It was getting rather late in the evening before the two of them had quite recovered from their dual display of enthusiasm.
"I really should get back," she said again. As it was, she was going to have to make up something else she'd done because she couldn't possibly have spent so long on a Muggle Studies problem on a Saturday evening. "I suppose you have grading that you need to do?"
He groaned slightly. "I now have a great deal of grading to do, annoying witch, without your bringing it up."
"Shall I apologize for making you late in getting to it?" she asked with amusement.
His lips twitched. "That will not be necessary, under the circumstances. But you can bugger off, as you've said."
She rose from the bed and began to root around for her clothing, knowing his tones well enough by now to know that this last had not been said with a mean spirit.
It amused her that their encounters seemed to result in her clothing being flung all over the room. They were both private and bookish people, so she'd somehow imagined that they'd be a little more restrained; nothing had pleased her more than to learn that that was not the case. It was useful in these circumstances to be a witch who knew how to use a Summoning Charm, however, because she couldn't find her second sock or her jumper without it. Severus looked on with a great deal of amusement and, apparently, open appreciation as she wandered around half dressed.
She regarded him with sudden suspicion. "You know, Severus, if I find that you toss my clothing about solely for the enjoyment of watching me look for it later, I may have to be cross."
The next chapter, in which there are some interesting side effects to the last visit to Hogsmeade for the year, will be posted on Thursday.
