Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release.
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
|Point Defense|
Getting to the main building of the school was no problem, nor was actually breaking into the building and making their way down to the server room's locked doors. Checking her watch after the less than tense infiltration, Nabiki found that they had made very good time. Like Ranma and Kodachi, she was wearing a body-fitting stealth suit. In her case however, hers was equipped with a ballistics vest and a few more gadgets, including flashbangs, smoke grenades, and a taser.
"21:15," she reported. "All well and good, given how long it actually took to get here."
"Changing our direction because of Sasuke's warning cost us, but nothing dearly," Kodachi said. "Though I hope that Saotome Ranma was able to get the alert."
She turned and looked at the daunting doors before them. The vault that contained the server room was more massive than they had been told, not something even a martial artist of Ranma's caliber could brute force his way through. Getting in and out with as little difficulty as possible meant Sasuke and Ranma not bringing company with them.
"Ranma'll be okay," Nabiki said as she watched the campus through the camera of her drone. "Aside from the Survival Club kids milling around, there doesn't seem much going on."
"Airsoft," Kodachi murmured. "You understand what this means don't you,Tendo Nabiki?"
"No martial arts ability at all," Nabiki replied. "A lot like me."
Mousse glanced over towards Nabiki. "Why do you say that, if you don't mind my asking?"
Nabiki assumed he meant her lack of talent in the arts. "It's not that I'm bad at it, I'm not bad at anything. It's simply that I never had a reason to use it, you know?"
Kodachi turned to her. "You can fight?"
Nabiki nodded again. "It's a waste of time for me, though. I've never had a problem I couldn't solve by throwing Akane at it, or using my usual methods."
"You've never wanted to pummel someone into a pulp with your own two hands," Mousse then said.
Nabiki lowered her head a bit, before she chuckled. "Is that wrong?"
"I suppose not," Mousse said. "Personally, I hope you never have to feel such an intensity."
Kodachi disagreed, such a thing would be interesting to see. "At any rate, we may have to revise the ultimate deployment of our forces, if this is really what Kolkhoz has to offer us. Airsoft, honestly."
It was then that Nabiki noticed that those patrolling students were now heading towards the Recreational Center as fast as they could. "Oh, that's not good. The patrols are headed towards the Rec Center."
Right as she said that, Kodachi's phone went off, Sasuke was calling her. "Kodachi-sama, we have a huge problem!"
"You've been discovered, I know," Kodachi said. "You at least have the key, don't you?"
"I do, but that is not the issue! Mendou Ryoko is here at the school!" Sasuke cried out.
It was like a bolt lanced through Kodachi then, snapping her alert. "What do you mean she is here?"
Nabiki looked over. "She?"
"Mendou Shuutaro's sister, Ryoko," Kodachi said calmly. "Someone extremely dangerous."
Nabiki had never heard of this sister. "How dangerous are we talking?"
"Imagine a girl who is easily bored, and extremely sadistic," Kodachi spoke, "Now imagine that girl has near limitless wealth to entertain herself with."
"Such a thing would be a nightmare," Mousse said, having witnessed firsthand what an endless wealth can do for someone against even the strongest opponent.
Nabiki suddenly felt her skin crawling a bit. "What exactly would she do… if she found out about our war?"
"Cause as much mayhem as she could to all of us," Kodachi replied.
"All for the sake of her own amusement," Mousse presumed.
"That is correct, which means we must make an effort to make it not at all interesting," Kodachi said before she contacted Sasuke again. "Sasuke, lead them to the front door of the main building at once!"
Nabiki did a double-take. "What."
"Mendou Ryoko mustn't know why we are here, not at this point," Kodachi said. "For her to stick her nose into this business between our houses at this point will be a disaster. Therefore…"
She rose up and removed her hair from its gaudy side bunch, instead opting to quickly arrange it in a pair of neat twin bunches that trailed down her back. "I will make things very simple for her. Mu Tsu, please accompany me to the front door."
"Oi, what about Ranma? If he shows up…?" Nabiki began.
"I will have Sasuke and him meet you as planned. For now, focus on your mission and nothing else, Tendo Nabiki-san," Kodachi said as she and Mousse headed for the doors.
Mousse looked to Nabiki. "Contact Ranma-kun, and tell him of the change of plans."
Within moments, Sasuke was out of the Recreational Center and racing towards the main building. Even over the pouring rain, he could hear behind him the doors of the Rec Center crash open and the shouts of angry students in hot pursuit. Then he could hear the more alarming sound of steel bearing whipping by his head.
Moving much faster, he became a leaping and zigzagging blur, hopping, flipping, and cartwheeling to avoid the fire of the pursuing students.
Just behind the front half of the charging mob, the large and brutish Captain of the Survival Game Club was advancing as well, his minigun held tightly in his hands as he loaded a belt connected to a large metal backpack.
Survival Club Captain "Scorpion" Ryotaro had, until the start of hostilities between Kolkhoz and Furinkan, had been quite content to idle his time cultivating a club of delinquent shooters who spent their free time (and indeed their class time) buying and collecting Airsoft and shooting pellets at people for kicks. But in truth he had always wanted an army, a force to not only conquer Survival Games, but to become top dog of high school, and use that as a springboard towards real military connections.
Alas, Kolkhoz was a peaceful place… so idle he did, until the war was declared in a meeting of Kolkhoz's student council, and the declaration sent to Furinkan came back with a masochistic bodywriting fetish.
Since then, the Survival Game Club had become one of the largest in the school, ranks swollen with students who didn't want to get their asses kicked by those monstrous Furinkan kids. At first, there was fears that the meager supply of guns the club had collected wouldn't be enough to equip them all–but then Asuka delivered, and the school had more weapons than students in a single day.
With the surplus of weapons, Captain Scorpion could realize his dream of leading his army into battle, building up the experience he needed to become a true general.
"Myeh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Don't let the little bastard get away! I want to have see him strung up for target practice when we're through with him!" Scorpion shouted.
Behind him, carried atop the back of her white horse, (which was in fact a costume worn by two of her black-clad servants) Mendou Ryoko rode calmly despite the chaos going on around her. Not even the rain bothered her, a pink and frilly umbrella carried above her head stopped those mean raindrops from falling upon her.
With rapt attention, she watched the chaos in front of her, curiosity and amusement driving her to find who or what was responsible for this fiasco.
"He's too fast!" One of the club members shouted as small groups spread out, attempting to converge fire upon him, but hitting only air… and nearly grazing another student nearby.
"Check your fire, dumbass!" The leader of a smaller group said as bearings whipped past her and several other girls as Sasuke leaped from branch to branch on the tree-lined path that connected the rec center with the school. "He's deliberately trying to get us to shoot at each other!"
"I don't care who you hit, just as long as he's one of them!" Scorpion yelled. "The one to bring 'em down gets a week off from school with full grades!"
Landing on a tree branch and then darting behind it, Sasuke leaned against it as pellets bounced off the strong bark of the tree on the other side. Breathing out a sigh of relief that he narrowly missed the fire, he grimaced when he heard Scorpion yell that order.
"Now they're determined as ever!" The ninja lamented, before he saw several students armed with airsoft shotguns gather around his position and take aim. "Damn it!"
He leaped from the tree and towards the front steps of the school as the airsoft bearings absolutely shredded the branch he stood on, and the branches around it. Airborne, he prepared to land on the front steps, when he saw that he was flying in front of dozens of airsoft guns, all zeroing in on him–including the Club Captain's minigun.
"Got you, you little shit!" Scorpion called out before there were several explosions, followed by surging plume of smoke that created a temporary wall between the Survivalists and Sasuke. "What the…?!"
As Sasuke landed on the steps, he looked back and saw that the smoke was already clearing, washed down by the rain.
"If you want to reward your weaklings for something, then let it be for more than a worthless ninja," a man's voice called out from the fading smoke.
"What? Who's this?" Scorpion asked.
Just behind him, Ryoko hummed herself. She had expected to see Tatewaki Kuno or his sister standing in her way, but instead there was a man dressed in a white Chinese robes with long sleeves and black pants. His face was covered in a Guy Fawkes mask, concealing his identity completely.
He was not alone, either. Holding him around his waist with one arm, while twirling a tonfa stick around in her free hand, was a girl she'd never seen before dressed as a kunoichi with a mask pulled over half her face and a pair of large coke bottle glasses, her hair worn in two trailing bunches down to her hips. The way she provocatively clung to the man was so lewd, as though she were his lover aside from partner.
Reaching up with one hand, Mousse rested it upon the disguised Kodachi's head, gently rubbing it. "Greetings, my name is Canard, and I come on behalf of Kuno Tatewaki. I am looking for Mendou Ryoko-chan."
"Ah, me?" Ryoko asked.
Mousse combed his fingers through Kodachi's hair, as she purred and nuzzled up into his hand. "Ah, there you are. Please do not take this personally, but my beloved partner and I have been hired to strike you down."
As lightning flashed over both of them, he added in a sickening tone. "… And those who lay eyes upon our love."
Ryoko flushed. "Oh my, you're here for me? You're horrible!"
Scorpion let out a low chuckle. "You think that two freaks are going to intimidate us, let alone get past us?!"
A whole lot of guns were now pointed at the two, including Scorpion's as it began to spin up.
"Don't make me laugh!" The Captain of the Survival Game Club roared.
"Very well," Mousse said, as both he and Kodachi readied themselves.
"We will make you cry."
|Maid For Battle|
Ever since Misao opened Ranma's eyes to the benefits of the curse, the redhead had been looking out for more than superficial perks. Nothing like getting free Ice Cream or watching embarrassing movies, simple things like being able to actually hold back and not have it affect her performance in combat. True she was going as close to full throttle as she could manage as a girl, but it was more of a relative thing.
Her eighty five percent could easily overpower most people's one hundred after all. She was pleased that the fighting maid, who was literally attempting to mop the floor with Ranma, was not in that category. In fact, she was happy to see her opponent be able to keep up with her in speed. Matter of fact, they were fighting a running battle literally along the walls, effortlessly able to fight and move without any slips or pratfalls.
What a pleasant surprise to find someone with a bit of competence here.
"You're good." Ranma complimented after they broke off from a clash.
"You're pretty strong for someone who looks like they can't hold weight." Lalita returned the compliment as she spun her mop in hand. "But I've only started cutting loose!" The maid rushed forward at great speed.
"That's fine, that's what makes you an opponent worth fighting." Ranma said as she began to backpedal away from the charging girl, ducking and weaving from her quick mop strikes. "And defeating!"
She hopped back just as Lalita pole vaulted into range with her mop, and sprang into a high kick that clashed with the Maid's burning hot left palm thrust that caused a small burst of steam to escape from the force of the clash.
"You can try but you'll fail!" Lalita promised, thrusting the tip of the mop at Ranma's exposed flank with her right hand.
Ranma managed to bend herself out of the way of the attack, briefly kicking off the mop to twist into a right cross thrown with a large amount of power behind it.
Lalita wasn't defenseless however, as she threw a left palm that connected solidly with the attack, cancelling it out and creating another vapor cloud. Blown back from her opponent, Lalita took the mop into both hands before they kicked back up their running battle, vanishing into blurs that clashed violently and loudly in the empty hallway.
"That's the way." Ranma encouraged her foe, enjoying the battle immensely as she was pushed in speed and reaction time as the mop head and handle jabbed at her her again and again. "If you can't do this much, then you should just stop fighting."
"You're a weird girl." Lalita commented as she found an opening to swing herself around on the mop handle to throw a kick.
Ranma blocked it, then used a quick low kick of her own to knock the mop from under Lalita. When she recovered and spun the weapon down to hit Ranma atop her head, the redhead curled back and kicked up, knocking the mop entirely from her hands, leaving it to clatter to the floor in two pieces.
Surprised at the loss of her weapon, Lalita flipped back and landed a safe distance away from Ranma.
"Comes with the territory. I've been all over the Orient since I was a baby," Ranma revealed as she stood upright. The loss of her weapon didn't seem to impede the maid. Indeed, she was simply readying herself for proper hand-to-hand without missing a beat.
"A real throwback huh?" Lalita asked, grinning as she closed in and restarted their duel. "How many bandits did you have to beat for your gruel?"
"I dunno, never seemed to be enough bandits to make a quota sadly." Ranma replied as they twisted around and were now running upside down on the ceiling. "But I've put a fair number of crooks down in my day."
"I can tell!" Lalita congratulated, managing to push Ranma back again. "You're really ridiculously strong aren't you?!"
"Don't be modest on my account!" Ranma laughed as she tumbled right side up for a second to bounce off the wall and come back at Lalita with a fierce spin kick. "You're a monster in your own right!"
"I keep in shape." Lalita said with false modesty, twisting around into a backfist block Ranma's kick. "But I can feel like there's something huge you're hiding from me."
"We all got our secrets." Ranma said as she pushed herself back and resumed back pedalling away from Lalita.
"Then I must find this one out!" The maid was not to be deterred as she chased the redhead.
More blows were exchanged at higher speed, as they dashed around the hallway some more. More and more, explosions of steam began to fill the hallway as Ranma's blows met Lalita's, casting the battle in a haze. It was really no longer a martial arts battle between two teens and something between two rivalling forces of nature.
"Tch, this girl is too powerful for her slight stature." Lalita observed silently as they broke apart again, coming to a standstill in the budding haze. "The way she fights is like no girl I've ever seen or heard of."
"That's one hell of an ability." Ranma thought, watching for any movements of the shadows in the mist. "She's vaporizing the moisture in the air plus she's able to match me blow for blow like this because her hit power is being augmented by the heat." Luckily she had good heat durability or else going fist to fist with the maid would be a horrible thing indeed.
It was almost evenly matched, yes, simply due to the curse they were able to meet on nearly even ground. Ranma realized this most plainly, which actually heightened her excitement for the fight.
Of all the inopportune times for Nabiki to call then. With a quick tilt of her head, she answered the call. "Kind of busy right now."
"Don't tell me you're in trouble, too," Nabiki said.
"Nothing I can't handle," Ranma said as Lalita realized she was on the phone… but didn't attack.
"Sasuke got discovered, and he's being chased by some club members. Kodachi and Mousse are gonna make a distraction, but try not to get seen getting here. Go through the back of the main building and make your way down here when you got the key, okay?"
"Yeah, I will. I'll be there by the rendezvous," Ranma promised. "I just need to wrap this up."
"Okay, good luck~" Nabiki cooed before ending the call.
Ranma returned her full attention to Lalita. "You didn't attack."
"Whatever business you have isn't mine," Lalita said. She no longer particularly cared for what happened to the building, this was too much fun! "It wouldn't be fair to me if I got you while you were distracted."
She held out her fist, smoke rising from between her clenched knuckles. "I want to beat you without any distractions… even if we have a time limit now."
Ranma smiled "Don't worry, as fast as we both are?"
She assumed her own fighting stance. "We have plenty of time."
A/N: Bleh.
