AN: Written for things and things. WickedlyClever did a wonderful job beta'ing this for me (because I still have trouble with my bad grammar and the whole laying/lying thing) so send some love that way. Hope you enjoy!
The first time it happens, I'm fifteen and on a camping trip with Katniss' family out in the middle of nowhere. The three of us - Prim, Katniss and I - are sharing a tent. The temperature has somehow dropped below whatever and I'm freezing; I mean, really, actually shivering, until my legs feel numb from the cold. I didn't bring the right sleeping bag, I guess, and now I'm paying for it while I curl into myself against the edge of the tent.
"Peeta?" Katniss' voice floats over my shoulder. I tense, my body reacting to her instantly. Shit, I didn't mean to wake her up. Her hand taps my shoulder, and I turn my head reluctantly to offer her a tight smile in the dark.
"Sorry," I start, my tongue thick behind my frozen lips. She's twisting over towards me, her torso remaining tucked against Prim's on the other side. I can't help but notice it doesn't look like a comfortable position.
"Shh, just get closer for warmth, okay? It'll help, and then you don't have to be over there shivering all night."
I stare at her blankly, sure that my mouth is hanging open some. I mean, I get what she's saying, but let's be honest here – her parents would not be happy to find me pressed up against her in the morning, let alone if my body has a mind of its own (like it more awkwardly seems to, as of late).
"N-no, I'm f-fine," I reply through chattering teeth, which I realize seems even more ridiculous now. In the bright moonlight shining through the tent roof, I watch as she simply rolls her eyes before smacking at my sleeping bag.
"Don't be stupid. Come keep me warm," she insists before turning back towards Prim. I stare for a second as she curls back around her sister, her toque the only thing visible outside of her sleeping bag, before rolling over towards her slowly.
At first I try to keep my distance. I tuck my head and pillow against her shoulders with my hips and legs nearly a foot away, but the warmth is just too tempting. Next thing I know, I'm pressing my legs into the crux of hers, my arm resting on her side as my larger frame folds over her. Oh god, please don't move tonight, I hope to myself. I know, I know, that if she spends the night squirming it won't be good.
It doesn't take me long to fall asleep after that anyway.
Prim's the first one awake. She's so quiet; neither of us notices her slip from the tent. I don't even wake up until I'm startled by Katniss' knees connecting with, well, my morning wood, to be blunt. She doesn't do it on purpose - that I can tell, anyway - by the way her eyes open in shock when I hiss and swear, rolling away and onto my back.
It's her giggles that really make me realize why her movement brought me awake so quickly. Looking down, I catch sight of the tent I'm creating inside the tent, and my face burns like a thousand suns. "Don't laugh!" I mumble and roll until I'm facing away from her, desperate to hide my face.
"Oh, come on Peeta," Katniss gasps, her hand falling on my shoulder as she laughs heartily. "Don't worry about it."
"Ugh – just give me a minute."
"Fine, okay. Just keep facing that way; I need to get dressed." I have to squeeze my eyes shut, trying to wipe the images out of my head. Katniss is my friend. I can't – this is so wrong.
"You're killing me here, Kat," I grumble and try to curl into myself to stifle the blood flow to my groin. It doesn't help, not even a little; not with the sound of her clothes rustling as she changes in her sleeping bag.
This is normal. This happens more often than it should. My parents wouldn't let Katniss come within ten feet of my tent if we were with them, but not her parents – nope, they are so trustworthy, which is good but so, so bad as well. To say I've noticed Katniss is putting it lightly. I can't keep her out of my dreams. My thoughts. Anything. She's like a permanent fixture that both riles me up and runs me down without even trying.
"Done! See you at breakfast," she says, breaking me from my runaway thoughts. A moment after I hear the zip of the tent door close, I roll onto my back and breathe a sigh of relief. I need to calm down then go take a walk and deal with this.
Sucking in a deep breath, I sit up and run my hands down my face in exhaustion. Great. Still have two days left on this trip.
I stop sharing tents with Katniss Everdeen in all ways possible over the next few years. We're still friends – hell, likely best friends, for all categorical matters – but I just can't get caught like that anymore. I try to move on when she gets close to Gale Hawthorne, but nothing seems to work out. The only girl I want is her, and she's paired off with tall, dark and brooding.
I keep trying to deal with it, but it really fucking sucks.
I'm not surprised when we begin to grow apart during senior year. It was inevitable, if I had to tell the truth. The moment I walked in on her and Gale at a party at the end of junior year, I knew I had to step back. It crushed me. I couldn't help it. The conversations stopped, the carpooling stopped – everything stopped.
She didn't like it at all. Katniss never took well to change, but I had to do it for my sanity and for every goddamn time I got blue balls just thinking about her.
It was probably her absolute quick-tempered frustration that had her hiding out in my closet after school one day for some god-awful reason. I don't even know how she got there – I left before her – but somehow she was there, undetected, when I came home to manage myself for the afternoon.
Let's be perfectly clear here – I don't need to manage; it just makes it far easier to relax and get through the hellish family dinner that my mother always insists on. And hey, it's fun too.
At least it was fun until Katniss' name slipped from my lips as I emptied myself onto my stomach and I heard her too-familiar gasp from the closet door. I froze, my body tensing up and the relaxation that was supposed to set in started dissipating immediately.
"Katniss?" I hissed, tucking myself back in and wiping my stomach clear with my discarded t-shirt. Moving from my place on the bed, I stalked towards the closet and pulled the door open to reveal her kneeling on the floor with her knuckle between her teeth.
I think I nearly passed out.
"Sorry!" Her shout surprised me and I stepped back, staggered even, as she bolted past me and through my bedroom door. I stood there for who knows how long, staring at the empty hallway down which she had just escaped.
"Shit."
She wouldn't meet my eyes until winter semester.
Prom. After party. How on earth did I get talked into this fiasco?
Yes. I went to prom with precious Delilah-fucking-Cartwright. Don't get me wrong; she's nice, she's hot, but her hand down my pants is one step drunker than I'd prefer her to be right now.
Escaping from her clutches, I head out of Cabin 3 and wander onto the parking lot that joins the 10 cabins of the 'resort' our student council had rented for the weekend. The sky overhead is clear, the air murky with humidity, as I consider another beer from the keg they've set up in the corner of the lot. Watching for a moment, I laugh as the varsity basketball team practices their keg stands before vetoing the option and heading into the 'Bob Marley' cabin as they've so aptly nicknamed it.
The air inside is thick – too thick – and I have to blink a few times to even see through the haze. Scanning the room, my eyes land on Katniss who's tapping her fingers on her knee absently, her face bordering on pure frustration, as she watches Gale take another hit from the freely passed bong.
It's not hard to decide that I don't quite belong here. Ducking back out, I head straight for the shots table and grab at a bottle of whiskey, ignoring the shouts of protest as I head towards the cabin with the flashing lights. I know I can get lost there.
Sucking back two deep swigs, I step inside and am bombarded with a bass beat that echoes in my bones. Taking in the sight I swallow another gulp and make my way into the crowd to effectively lose myself in the crush of bodies.
I'm not a dancer. I'm actually terrible at dancing. But with this many people and this much free alcohol, I know nobody is paying attention. That's why I finally let go and let myself sway and shift with the bodies around me. I let the alcohol run through my blood and burn my skin, flushing me until I feel like I'm on fire.
It's a damn good fire.
The song must change five, maybe six times before I notice hands running up my sides as a body presses against my back. It feels good – hell, no, it feels fucking fantastic – so I grip the hands and hold them in my own with the bottle of whiskey, relishing in the way the girl behind me rests her head between my shoulder blades and moves with my body.
We dance like that for another song before I turn, my hazy eyes landing on an all-too-familiar face before I move away and make contact with another body.
"Hey! Watch it!" a voice shouts and I stumble forward, my semi-drunken legs wobbling as my eyes stay locked on Katniss'.
"What?" I yell when I see her lips move. I can't hear what she says through the beat of the music but I see her laugh before offering her hand towards me. I stare at it for a moment, my gaze locked on her extended fingers as bodies bump and slide next to me.
It's been months since we talked. I don't know what to even say to her.
I take her outstretched hand anyway and let her lead me outside and into the night. She stops just off the right of the porch, watching me as I grip the banister until my knuckles are white.
"Hi," I croak, my voice crackling from the shouting I must have been doing inside that cabin. Her smile grows out of its typical scowl.
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she asks hesitantly. My mind buzzes as my head nods 'yes' without my permission.
I trail behind as she heads towards a cabin near the entrance, far from where our fellow students are gathering and chatting, drinking and dancing to music blaring from a scattered radio in someone's car. Standing on the threshold with the whiskey still in my grip, I watch as she sits with a sigh on the sketchy fold-out bed.
"You can come in, you know," she prompts with a nod towards the door. I shut it sheepishly and sit in the plastic chair that's under the window. I don't have to be sober to know that if I were to sit on that bed with her, I would have serious difficulties not making a move.
Hell, sitting in this chair I have to repeatedly tell myself she's with Gale. She's with Gale. Gale. Not me.
It barely helps so I shift and avert my eyes from where they're falling on the crest of her breasts through her thin shirt.
"Peeta, look, I'm sorry about what happened...and everything," she starts. I watch out of the corner of my eye as she moves until her feet are tucked under her and she's sitting fully on the bed sans shoes. "Are you going to talk to me or just sit there awkwardly?"
I jolt at her words and meet her gaze carefully, desperate not to give myself away.
"What exactly do you want from me?" I ask evenly, careful not to let my voice give me away. I want her to say everything I've wanted to hear since I realized that this was more than just awkward boners on camping trips. It's now or never. School's over. After this we move on. This is it.
"Can you – will you sit with me?" It's a quiet whisper, one barely heard over the ruckus happening outside. But I can't deny it now that I've heard it. I join her on the bed, taking a swig from the bottle and savouring the burn as my legs hang off the side, and she rests a hand on my shoulder. "I miss you."
Next it's her chin, her breath casting a spell over me as it escapes along the nape of my neck. I feel my pants tighten in reaction and I pull another swig before her hand pulls the bottle away from me.
"Stop that or you'll get whiskey dick," she mumbles, leaning against me as I fight to remain sitting. Clenching my hands together, I try to remain unaffected. I try not to touch her as her body shifts closer. I try to respect her boundaries and the fact that she's with Gale. Gale. Gale. Gale.
I can't. I can't resist it.
Rising to my feet, I step away quickly as her body tumbles into the spot that I've just vacated. I stuff my hands in my pockets forcefully, my jeans rubbing against the growing bulge in my crotch.
"I miss you too, Katniss, but we can't do this – you're with Gale and you know how I feel and this can't be just a – a variety fuck or a thrill for you. I can't do that. I can't – "
"Stop!" Her shout interrupts me and my mouth snaps shut instantly. "I'm not with Gale. We haven't been together since –" She stops abruptly and looks up at me with wide eyes.
We both know what she's saying; since she hid out in my closet.
"I've been trying to talk to you for weeks –"
"I've been right here, Katniss," I interject solidly, needing to state that even though we've grown apart, I was always there for her.
"You've walked in the other direction from me, Peeta Mellark, and don't you lie about it," she snaps back. I shrug listlessly and pick at the hem of my shirt. "I just – I don't want this to be it for us," she tries again and I see her move until she's standing before me, her head tilted to catch my gaze.
"I don't want this to be it for us either," I reply weakly, and the words are barely out of my mouth before she's pushing me against the wall and sucking my bottom lip into her mouth. A groan echoes throughout the dismal cabin as her hands slip around my back and down to my ass, pulling me flush against her. Instinctively, my hips jerk away from the contact.
"Don't; I like it," she laughs and pulls me close again, only this time I go with it.
I get lost in the taste of her, my mouth moving against hers like a man possessed, taking and giving without restraint. Before I even realize, I'm taking control and backing us towards the bed, laying her out and climbing above her until my hips rest against hers and my swollen cock revels in the warm heat that radiates from between her legs.
"You taste like whiskey," she whimpers as we shift and grind, our mouths coming together and moving again. Our hips press and shift as our hands find purchase on each other's skin. My shirt is the first to go, baring my chest for her nails as they scrape down my ribs. I can't stop the hiss or the way my hand jerks her leg over my hip at the contact and I push myself harder against her.
"Pants – take off your pants," Katniss growls into my ear, nipping at the skin along my neck. I rid her of her own shirt and bra first while she claws at my belt. With my pants shucked and my boxers thoroughly tented, I stare down at her exposed chest and lick my lips slowly.
"Take them off," I instruct, motioning towards her pants with my hand slowly before cupping myself through the cotton of my boxers. I stand at the edge of the bed, my hand lazily squeezing as she shimmies out of her jeans and tosses them to the floor. I watch her as her eyes trace my movements, her gaze lingering over my hand and burning into me fiercely.
She doesn't make a peep.
My mind refuses to acknowledge that my legs have carried me to the bed - or that her arms have wrapped around my waist - before I'm lying on the mattress with her legs straddling my hips and her core rubbing against me. I can feel her dampness through the fabric and it only fires me up until my hands find her hips and my lips clasp onto her breast. Her chest rises and falls abruptly, a gasp echoing throughout the room, while my teeth pull at her nipple with a quick pinch. She jolts, her fingers winding through my hair, before she moves her center until the head of my cock catches and nearly attempts to penetrate through our layers of cloth.
"Get it off," I grunt and pull my boxers down until I jut out towards her. I watch as her eyes widen in surprise, taking in the sight of me as the tip points hard and red before her.
"I didn't – it's bigger – I thought maybe you were drunk and this would be more difficult," she rambles as she rolls onto her back and pulls her panties off. I lose my boxers completely and kneel above her, my hands softly running from stomach to thighs as her muscles tense and release below my fingers.
"Katniss," I murmur, uncharacteristically tender while my heart beats in my throat. "You're sure?" Oh god, I hope she's sure.
She answers with a quick nod, her hand wrapping around my cock and pulling it towards her. I pause for just a moment, leaning awkwardly off the bed and pulling at the wallet in my pants pocket.
"Let me," she gestures, pulling the condom from my hands and tearing at the package. She doesn't even hesitate before pinching the tip and rolling it down, looking up at me with a shit-eating grin that melts my heart.
We fall together after that. My lips find hers as her hands guide me towards her. Sliding into her I nearly cry out at the wet heat that surrounds me, the feeling of completeness bubbling in my chest. My hands tangle in her hair as I begin to move, and she wraps her legs around me, pulling me infinitely deeper into her.
Together we roll and twist and shift. She takes a turn on top, her hand falling and rubbing against her clit until I replace it with my own. I move by her sounds, bringing her to the edge until she falls over and her walls clench against me. When her body collapses onto mine, I roll her onto her back and slip down until my fingers fill her and my tongue brings her once more to the brink. I feel her body twitch against my mouth as the mix of sweet tang and slightly rubbery taste fills me.
"Fuck, Peet," she groans as the second wave crashes over her. For just a moment I thank the girls I practiced with for allowing me to get it really fucking right when it counted.
When her fingers once again lace through my hair, I allow her to pull me up and guide me back inside her. I take it slower this time, her frantic rush appeased and my need to taste her sated. Every so often I'll feel her walls clench against me in aftershock and bite my own lip to hold off.
But there's no stopping it when she asks me to come for her.
I do it with vigor, my body thrusting into her until we're nearly hitting the headboard and her moans are loud enough to wake the dead. With one final push I bury myself inside of her as my body tenses and I empty out. I barely notice the way her arms and legs wrap around me, trapping my head against her shoulder as I gasp for air.
We lay like that for who knows how long, our bodies thrumming as the blood pumps through our veins. I'm careful to pull out slowly, gripping the latex and discarding it in the trash bin beside the bed before lying back down.
"Remember that time you got that boner while we were camping?" Katniss asks, breaking the careful silence with a laugh. I feel my face flush red despite how naked we are right now. "I think I knew then it'd always be you."
Turning my head at her words I watch her for any sign of a lie, any hint of a joke, but there is none. Only clear grey eyes stare back at me.
"I think I knew then too; only I had that awkward boner to deal with first."
