Thank you so much to Kira Tamarion, Fallon-Idalia, Thot84, and Pint-Sized She-Bear for your reviews! You're all literally the best - I wouldn't have made it this far without your reviews!
Anyway - I'm not too happy with the latter half of the last chapter (it was very transitional, a lot of stuff that I had to say), but now I feel like we're back on track. This chapter borders on smut, and I don't know how grimy I can get when it comes down to this kind of stuff - haha, but not every scene will be as sensual and soft as this one.
I don't know what time it is when someone comes into my tent, and I'm hardly aware of it at all, in fact. Fenris was asked to help keep watch, and in the moment I think he's still outside, keeping guard on the fringes of the camp.
There's rustling beside me. Movement, and then a touch. A palm is sliding up the back of my thigh. In my half-slumber, I wonder if this should worry me.
My hair slides across my face and over onto my shoulder. The hand on my thigh squeezes but it's gentle, and I feel lips on my shoulder.
I manage, somehow, to open my eyes. There is no light in the tent, and I can't see who it is. My heart starts to pound, like I've woken up from a nightmare.
A knee slides in between my own, and that's when I panic. I try to roll over, but a hand closes around one of my wrists, pinning it to the ground, and I feel an imposing weight against my back. Whoever he is, he isn't hurting me, but he's there.
"It's only me," he says quietly, his mouth brushing my ear. I let out an audible breath of relief. Fenris.
Fenris?
What is he doing? He lets go of my wrist and presses a kiss to my neck. Above me, he leans on one elbow and runs his other hand along my shoulder and down what's exposed of my back, which honestly isn't much.
I try to relax, but I'm confused. "Fenris?" I ask.
"Mmm?"
I can smell the wine on him. He moves his weight away and lets me roll onto my back. "Are you...?"
One deft hand trails down the center of my front. At my hips he runs his knuckles outwards over my skin and curls his fingers around my pelvis, resting them there.
"It needed to wake you. It will be your turn for watch soon."
Ah, there it is. I knew it was too good to be true. But his touch... it's so... sensual. It's hard for my to believe that Fenris has approached me in such a way.
I can now barely make out his outline in the darkness. I see that he's taken his armor off. And perhaps even his tunic, though I can't be sure. I reach out for his shoulder, and feel no fabric there.
"How much time do I have?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm and level and to not have my arousal obvious to him.
I see him shift. He kisses my forehead gently, carefully and then pulls away. "Enough... that is, if you would have me."
I don't answer in any other way other than snaking my hands around the back of his neck and pulling him on top of me. Of course I would have him. My heart leaps and bounds as he asks anyway. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, like a growl of approval, as he claims my mouth with his and plants his elbows on either side of me. I feel his weight lower onto me, one knee again nudging apart my legs, as he kisses me. He pulls away my tunic and pushes my breastband down to my waist.
He shifts on his elbows and touches me as if I am something rare and sacred. With a grace I've never known him to be capable of, he runs his fingers, his knuckles, across my skin. Down the slope of my waist, the curve of my hip, the swell of my breasts. His breath comes in ragged as I run my hands down his chest, to the hem of his leggings.
With an urgency, I pick my head up and kiss from his shoulder to neck. He goes still everywhere except for one of his hands, roaming ever so silently up my arm, down my ribs, across my stomach. He traces whorls on my hip and I hear him groan ever so softly as I suck on that spot, just below his ear, where one of his lines of lyrium end.
Then he moves away and his teeth drag across my chest while his hand dips under my smalls and pulls them down past my knees. I hardly have time to pull one leg free of them before his body is between my legs and he bites softly at the side of my breast. The bruises on my thighs ache for a moment as his hips press against them, but it is an easy thing to ignore in the beautiful storm of us.
I am desperate for him, and I think this is something he understands fully. A small – no, a large part of me hopes that he is just as desperate for me. He confirms my hope by shoving his trousers down just enough, rushing too much to take them off or even get them past his knees, as if he's racing with himself to get inside me.
I arch against him, silently begging for him, for more of him, all of him. My hands clutch at his shoulders and splay out on his back. I feel his muscles, taut and strong, flexing as he moves with focus and grace.
We're in the middle of camp, surrounded by others – by Fenris' sister included. There must be several people awake, moving about. But none of these things matter as Fenris pushes himself inside me. For a moment I think I see stars as a strangled sound escape both of our throats. Fenris' head drops against my collarbone and he waits, his breath whooshing out of him. He waits for my legs to relax around him, for me to start breathing.
There is nothing like this feeling. Though it borders on the edge of pain, I grab at his shoulders and struggle not to moan as he starts to move. I feel his fists clench on either side of my head. His teeth drag across my collarbone and bite down on my throat, but I doubt it's enough to leave any marks behind. After the memories he has, I don't think Fenris would ever intend to mark me.
The ground presses uncomfortably into my back, so I arch again and try not to dig my nails into his skin. Fenris shifts his weight onto one elbow and his other hand moves to my hip. His fingers curl on my skin and hold me there as he thrusts. To keep me arched, he moves his other arm under my spine. The angle lets him in just a bit further, but it's enough to make me cry out.
"Shhh," he whispers, pausing and smiling against my sternum. I run my fingers up his neck and feel a thin sheen of sweat gathering at the nape of it. His free hand, the one on my hip, glides up my thigh and pins it to his hip.
He moves again and I'm sure I've never felt something so sweet and amazing in all my life. He bites down gently on the side of my breast again, and I can't stifle the moan I have this time.
Fenris chuckles and he pauses to pull something up onto my mouth. He doesn't tie it or force it anywhere, just offers it to me if I need something to groan into. His fingers tap against it and I realize that it's the sari he got me. The cashmere is soft and warm, and the silver embroidery brushes against my cheek. Fenris starts to move again and suddenly I'm grateful for it.
His fingers dig into my thigh, and he presses soft but quick, frantic kisses across my chest. I am overwhelmed by it all, tears in my eyes from both happiness and pleasure, and it isn't long before we both come undone together – two chests heaving, two hearts pounding. My moans are lost in the sari I clamp between my teeth, and Fenris bites out a single "mellita," against my neck, and I wonder if it's just a force of habit from his memories or a conscious decision to call me that.
Fenris' body goes boneless for several minutes on top of mine. He interlocks the fingers of our hands together and holds them on the ground. He kisses my collarbone before rolling away and cupping my face, dragging us close together again.
I curl into his chest and though it's still hot out, I find comfort in the warmth of him, the up and down of his chest as his breathing levels out again. He tucks hair behind my ear and wraps his arms tight around my shoulders.
I'm nearly crying, that's how good it feels. After ten years of going without him, the love of my life, it's almost too much to bear. He actually wants me, though I can't imagine that he loves me, not like he used to.
I pull away from him after a few minutes and start getting dressed for my watch. He groans in protest, but I think he's too tired to do much else. I strap up my daggers to my belt and lean down and kiss him.
I can feel his smile against my lips as his arms gently drag me down to sit with him for another moment. By the time I leave, he's asleep.
I walk to the edge of camp in my own bliss for my guard duty. But the dark forest around me is silent and calm, which leaves me to bask in my own joy and thoughts. I head back to our tent two hours later, as dawn begins to break and twilight hangs in the camp, setting outlines and silhouettes and even some colors to my vision. I duck into the tent to lay down with Fenris until the sun rises, and I notice something different. He's cut off a strip of my blue sari and tied it around his wrist.
Though I don't know what it means, I grin and lay down beside him. I can hear him go still, awake, before he scoots closer and brushes hair out of my face, resting his forehead against my temple, his lips against my collarbone.
