I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.


Chapter Fifty-Three


ARIZONA'S POV


I love this city. I always have. London for me is a second home, and every time I return, it's just as amazing as the last time. I love that Eliza is here with me since I'm usually here alone, and being here with her only makes me want to return time and time again. Being here with her and not having to work only makes me want to take more time away from the craziness of my career. We both know that isn't possible, and it only encourages me to spend every uninterrupted moment we have…together. No cell phones. No meetings. No planning. Just us. Eliza and I. Whether that is in bed together, walking the streets together, or sharing dinner together…it's been perfect. Yesterday I took her to a museum and let's just say it didn't quite go to plan. I didn't know she was afraid and even though it was hilarious to see, I couldn't put her through it any longer than I already had. I couldn't allow her to feel that way whether I enjoyed it or not. I'm not that cruel. I could see the genuine fear in her eyes. I could see the uncertainty of what was coming next. Funny, yes…necessary? No. Not at all.

My girlfriend is planning today's trip, and right now she is showering. I know it will be something awesome since it usually is, and it only makes me feel even more crappy about my choice of trip yesterday. She has probably got some sort of romantic trip planned. Maybe a beautiful lunch followed by a walk or something. Any time I get to spend with her is amazing, and I'll take what I can get right now. I'll always take what I can get where my girlfriend is concerned.

I've been thinking hard this morning if I'm being totally honest. I've been thinking about every moment since we met. How she made me feel the moment I laid eyes on her. How she holds me in her arms as we fall asleep together. I've even thought about the times we've fought and I was uncertain about the future of our relationship. I can remember that moment I saw her in the bar like it was just yesterday. How she looked at me. How she smiled at me. How my heart pounded in my chest like never before and how my hands suddenly became clammy. If I close my eyes, I can still see that look from across the bar. The night I told myself I was done with dating and being alone. The night I hoped I would find my happy ever after.

I did find that. I found that the moment I looked into her eyes and my stomach flipped. I knew it from the moment I saw her. I knew it when she approached me and her scent took over my entire existence. When she shook my hand. The first time my name fell from her lips. The first time she touched me. I've never been touched like that. Such a delicate and kind touch. It was just oozing from her, and it still does to this day…maybe even more so now. She was just so forward with me, and maybe that was what I needed. I was always the one chasing the women. I'd never really been chased before. So it was nice. It was nice to be the one that was wanted. It was nice to be the one receiving the attention instead of the one giving it to everyone but myself. It just…it was nice. It still is nice.

I know we've been through some shitty times recently, and I know at times it was us who were causing each other hurt and heartbreak, but we stuck it out and look at the end result. It's been nothing short of amazing. Amazing and beautiful. The whole Alexis thing hurt me beyond belief, and I only hurt myself more when I asked her to leave our suite, but she stayed. She stayed for me. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me. Nobody has ever showered me with love like she has. Nobody has ever touched my skin with such ease and confidence that it's actually made me cry. Because it has. It has made me cry more than once.

I mean, I try to be the hard businesswoman, around Eliza, though, I'm anything but. I cannot be that person when she is in the room. She just…she knocks it right out of me and nobody has ever succeeded in that before. Nobody has ever made love to me until the sun has come up, and then slept in my arms. Nobody has ever made and shared breakfast with me in bed. I know it sounds pathetic, but it's true. Whether it was me pushing the other women away, or vice versa, it's true. Nobody has and nobody ever will make me feel the way Eliza does. She is my happy ever after and she is the one who I will take my last breath beside. I know it, and I've known it for some time. When I tell her I love her, it's not just those three words that anyone is capable of saying. It's not those three words that fall from people's mouths when the mood takes them. No, it's true. It's genuine. It's honest. Everything I have ever said to her is genuine. She knows that.

What do I want from today? I want love and happiness. I want to walk back into this hotel room this evening a totally different person. I want to know that I have an amazing future with the only woman I've ever truly loved. I have everything I need but I just need a little more from Eliza. I just need that little extra that some people spend their lives wishing for. I just...I need her to agree to become my wife. Yes, today is the day I propose. I never imagined myself to be the kind of woman who needs marriage, but with my girlfriend, I do. It's something I'm beginning to crave. It's something I've been thinking about for weeks. Since before we left for Cuba. Then everything went wrong and Eliza told me that she was planning to buy me a ring as she was handing me the keys to the condo back and about to walk out of my life for good. It was in that moment that I knew if I could ever possibly get her back...I had to make her my wife.

The love that we have for each other is undeniable, and it's everything I could ever want...but I just need that little bit more. I mean, if she turned me down I wouldn't be offended, but I want her to know that I'm committed to her for the rest of my life. Even if I propose and she says no, at least she will know that the intention was there. I don't want her to say no, but I have to prepare myself for that possibility. I have to prepare myself for the word no falling from her mouth. Marriage isn't for everyone, and I know better than most how tough of a time Eliza has had with her life. It's only been a few months since she even came out to the world, so asking her what I plan to ask may freak her out. I'd totally understand if she did, but I hope to god she won't say no. I'd still love her, but I hope she will give me the chance to show her that I can be a better wife than I have been a girlfriend. I'm prepared to give her the entire world...if she will let me.

Pulled from my thoughts, Eliza comes from the bathroom fully prepared and ready for the day ahead. "Hey…" Her gorgeous voice causing me to smile, I slip my hand in my jacket pocket and toy with the box I've had hidden there since we arrived here. "You ready to go?"

"Sure." I smile as my sudden anxiety hits me full force in the chest. "L-Let's go."


"Are you okay?" Eliza furrows her brow and stops us at the entrance of a well known London attraction. "You've been really quiet since we left the hotel."

"I'm okay." I give her my best smile. I am okay. I'm more than okay. My stomach isn't, though. It's been somersaulting since she walked out of the bathroom almost an hour ago, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot get rid of this anxious feeling. Like, it's freezing outside today but I can feel my body sweating beneath my clothes. Kinda like that cold sweat you get when something bad is going to happen. My body is shivering, but my skin feels wet. I think I'm going to vomit. I can't. I have to do this. No matter how much I want to turn around and drag her back to the safe confines of our hotel, I can't. Today is the day I propose, whether I like it or not.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." My mouth becoming drier by the second, I could really use a bottle of water right now. I need something, anything that's wet. "So, is this the plan?" Glancing up at the London Eye, she gives me a nod and then her eyes widen.

"Oh, shit." She drops her gaze. "You're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

"No." I try to reassure her. "I wouldn't live 34 floors up if I was afraid of heights."

"Oh, right." She laughs. "Then what is it?"

Oh, it's nothing. You have just created the perfect setting for your proposal is all. Giving her a smile and tightening my grip on her hand, I shake my head a little. "Eliza, I'm fine. I promise."

"Okay." She smiles. "Come on, I got us a private capsule."

"You did?" My dimples pop. "That's kinda awesome."

"Well, you've probably done this before and I wanted us to just be alone so I can truly experience it."

"Actually, I've never done this." I shrug. "So, it will be nice for us to do it together."

"It will." Eliza works out the details with the guy manning the attraction and I get lost in my own thoughts. I mean, how bad could this be? I'm sure I'm getting myself worked up for nothing, but I'm just not good at this stuff. It's not something I've ever imagined myself doing, so no…I'm terrible at anything like this. Fancy meals and expensive wine is what I'm good at, but proposals? No.

Honestly, I don't even know what I'm going to do, or what to even say. Like, do I just come out with the question? Do I actually drop to one knee like everyone else? I don't know and I don't like not being in control of the situation. The situation I've created. It's making me feel a little uneasy, and the fact that I've no idea what her response will be is freaking me out. I'm excited to be up there with Eliza and see all of the beautiful buildings London has to offer, but my own fears are beginning to take over that happiness and it's going to be a nightmare. I just know it is.

Why are you worrying? She is none the wiser. I guess if it really becomes too much I could back out. Eliza wouldn't know any different. Maybe I should just wait and see how the mood is once we are settled and enjoying ourselves. Maybe it will just fall from my mouth when I least expect it. Maybe it won't even happen today. I have the ring, and I have Eliza with me. Whatever happens…happens. It's no big deal, I guess. There is always tomorrow. Or the next day. Or next week. Stop being a coward, Robbins.

"So, are we getting on, or?" Eliza interrupts my inner turmoil.

"Sorry, yeah." I laugh. "I was just checking out the views from down here before we see them from up there." Stepping into the capsule, the door closes and Eliza takes a seat before motioning for me to join her. Settling down beside her, she takes my hand in my own and sits back.

"I love being alone with you like this." Brushing my hair from my neck, she places a soft kiss below my ear and it sends my heart rate skyrocketing. "Nothing but just the two of us."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"God, yes." She nods. "If I could spend the rest of my life alone with you, I totally would. I don't need anybody else, Arizona. You are more than enough…as is your company."

"I love you." The words falling from my mouth faster than I can process them, I know it's now or never. I know I have to say what I have to say right now.

"I love you, too." She smiles.

"No." I shake my head and turn to face her fully. "I mean, I love you more than life itself, Eliza. A heartbreaking but joyful kind of love that sometimes sends me crazy." Running my thumb across her knuckles, her eyes find mine. "I had everything I could ever possibly want in my life before I met you, but you came along and you totally flipped everything I'd ever known on its head. You made me feel for the first time in forever. You made me want something other than my career and lonely nights. You made me want love and only your love."

"Arizo-"

Holding up my hand, she cuts herself off and gives me a sad smile. Unshed tears in her eyes. "I was happy as I was. Well, I'd like to believe I was, but that night when you walked into that bar, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I knew I had to know you. I knew I had to touch you…even if only once. I knew that I had to have you in my life and it was the best decision I ever made." Taking her other hand in my own, she furrows her brow and I simply smile. It's all I can do because whether this woman accepts or rejects my proposal, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I'm here with her and this is the most real thing I've ever felt in my life. "You have so much to give and you have so much about you, but you chose me. You chose me to hold you. To kiss you. To love you. You chose me and I still wake up every morning shocked that you did so. I still wake up every morning and thank whoever is up there watching over me for bringing you into my life." Dropping her hands, I cup her face and a single tear slips down her face. "When I say I love you, I mean it like never before. I mean it because I've never ever felt this way about anyone in my life and I know I never will again. You are it for me, Eliza. You are it, and then some. You are the strongest person I know, and I'm proud of you every single day for one reason or another."

Closing my eyes and taking a breath, I remove my hands from her gorgeous face and slip my right hand into my pocket. Removing myself from my seat, I open my eyes and she has a look of total confusion on her face. Taking the box in the palm of my hand, she releases a gasp and I drop to my knees in front of her. "This could all be gone tomorrow, Eliza, but I know that you will still be by my side. You have shown me time and time again that you are here to stay and you have shown me that your love for me will always trump anything else we could ever possibly face. Nothing and no one could ever compare to you, and I know that I will never have anyone else in my life. You are all I see. You are all I breathe. You are all I want. I know as your girlfriend I've messed up in the past, but as your wife, I will do everything in my power to show you that I'm the only one for you. As your wife, I will be everything you could ever want or need." Her eyes studying my face, I'm not entirely sure she is hearing what I'm saying. "Marry me, Eliza…Marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world."

Her shoulders shaking, sobs wrack her body and I know I've just totally messed this up. Standing, she pulls me up to my feet and nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck. This isn't good. Fuck! Holding her, her sobs eventually subside and she pulls back to find my eyes. "Y-You want me to be your wife?" She asks. "M-Me?"

"I do." Running my thumb along her cheek, she closes her eyes and leans into my touch. "I'll only ever want you to be my wife, Eliza."

"Y-Yes." She speaks, barely above a whisper.

"Y-You…" Furrowing my brow, my smile widens. "You said yes."

"I did." Her own smile appearing, she pulls me into her body and her lips find mine just like they always do. My head spinning and the world crashing around me, I pull back and she gives me a full smile. "I'd love to be your wife." Removing the ring from its box, I slip it on her finger and she wipes away the tears from her jawline. "Wow." Her breath catching in her throat, she shakes her head a little and cups my face with both hands. "You are incredible, Arizona, and you are mine."

"Forever…" I smile. "Always and forever."

"I wouldn't want it to be any other way." She pulls me against her and brings her lips up to my ear. "Always and forever.


Thanks for reading, guys. I felt it appropriate to do this chapter now. Our ladies have had a tough time lately.

Reviews are welcome as always.