Chapter 52
Naboo
Vader awoke early the next morning, his anxiety preventing him from sleeping more than a few scant hours. He got out of bed, careful not to wake Padmé, and pulled on his sleep pants. Giving his sleeping wife one last glance, Vader left the bedroom. He headed to the terrace, remembering how spectacular sunrise was on the lake.
The sky was streaked with pink as the sun crept higher, illuminating the distant forest in its path. Resting his hands on the marble railing, Vader breathed the fresh air deeply, the smells surrounding him bringing a rush of memories to his mind. He had been standing in this very spot when Padmé had come to him, confronted him about his nightmares, had told him that she was coming with him to Tatooine to find his mother. And when they'd got there, it had been too late. The wounds caused by the death of his mother had never completely healed, and Vader doubted they ever would. If only I'd got to her sooner, he reproached himself. If only you'd been there to prevent her capture...
"Ani?"
Vader turned to see his wife standing there, ready to support him, just as she had more than twenty years ago. Without a word he held out a hand to her and she joined him, welcoming his strong arms around her.
"This is going to work," she assured him. "I believe in you, Anakin."
Vader nodded, and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I know you do," he replied. "I'm just not so sure I believe in myself."
Padmé pulled back to look up at him. "Why not?" she asked.
Vader sighed. "I'm not even sure who I am any more, Padmé," he admitted, knowing he could tell her what he couldn't tell another living soul. "I've never been more confused."
"I know," she replied, wishing she had the right words to reassure him. "I do have an idea, though," she ventured. "Something that perhaps will help you, something that might make things go smoother with the Alliance."
Vader looked down at her. "What is it?" he asked.
"Cast off the name Palpatine gave you," she replied. "And be the man you were born to be," she told him.
Her suggestion took Vader by surprise. And yet, why not take up his birth name? Darth Vader was a creation of Palpatine after all. Anakin Skywalker was the name his mother had given him, a name he'd been proud of until Palpatine had poisoned his mind against everything that mattered. But would it be enough to use that name again? Could he ever truly be that man again?
"If you think it will help, I'll do it," he replied at last. "I only hope that the Rebels will remember him, and what he did for the Republic."
Padmé smiled. "They will," she assured him. "You were the hero with no fear," she added. "How could anyone forget him? The good deeds he did will help them get past what Darth Vader did. I'm sure of it."
Anakin smiled. "Let's hope you're right," he said. But inside, he couldn't help but think that things couldn't possibly be so easy.
Later that morning
Leia paced up and down in the large dining room, anxious for things to get started. Paddy had alerted her that the Rebel leaders had arrived and were on their way up to the manor. It will be okay, it will go well, Leia kept tell herself. Things will work, everyone will get along...
"So where's the gang?" Han asked as he entered the dining room.
"Luke is escorting them up," Leia told him as Han helped himself to a muffin. "How can you eat at a time like this?"
Han shrugged as he took a bite of the muffin. "I'm hungry," he told her simply.
Leia rolled her eyes as Padmé walked into the room. She could see at once that her mother was as anxious as she was.
"You look beautiful Mother," Leia told her with a smile.
"Thank you," Padmé replied. "So do you. They're on their way then?"
Leia nodded. "They'll be here any minute," she informed Padmé. "Where's Father?"
"He's coming," Padmé replied.
Leia watched her mother as she straightened the platters of pastries that had been set on the side board for their guests. "He's worried, isn't he?"
Padmé looked over at her. "Yes," she replied simply. "I think it would be unnatural if he weren't," she added.
Leia nodded. "It's going to be fine, Mother," she averred. "I just know it."
Padmé nodded, hoping her daughter's intuition was correct.
"Well? Where are they?" Anakin asked as he entered the room.
"They're on their way up," Padmé informed him. "Luke's escorting them."
Anakin nodded, noticing how Han seemed far more interested in the buffet than anything else. He frowned, deciding he'd never like the man.
"Try to relax, Father," Leia said, linking her arm through one of his. "This is going to be great, I just know it."
Anakin looked down at his daughter, seeing how hopeful she was. He knew what a difficult position she was in; having been a leader in the Alliance and daughter of its greatest enemy couldn't possibly be easy. "We'll see," he said simply.
They didn't have to wait long before Luke appeared at the terrace doors with their three guests, Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar and Bail Organa, in tow.
"Welcome!" Leia said, walking over to them with a smile. "We're so glad you came!" she added, giving Organa a warm hug.
"It's good to see you," Organa said, hugging Leia back.
"It is good to see you, Senator Amidala," Ackbar said, offering her a webbed hand to shake. "I was certainly surprised to hear that you'd be here," he said, giving her a watery smile. He did a double take when he spotted Anakin on the other side of the room. "Anakin Skywalker?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice.
Anakin nodded. "Yes," he replied. "I suppose you're all rather surprised to see me," he added a little awkwardly.
"Not really," Mon Mothma said, looking at him, then Padmé and then the twins. "It seems to make perfect sense now."
Anakin could sense the woman's trepidation, her animosity-but it didn't surprise him. And when his eyes met those of Bail Organa, he realized just how difficult this peace process was going to be.
"Shall we all take a seat?" Luke suggested, sensing the mounting tension in the room.
"Good idea," Leia added. "Shall we?"
Anakin walked over to the table and pulled out a chair for his wife. She appreciated the gesture and gave him a smile. The gesture did not go unnoticed by the new comers.
"So how should we address you?" Organa asked Anakin, not feeling the need for small talk. "You look like Anakin Skywalker," he went on. "But are you Anakin Skywalker?"
Anakin met Organa's appraising stare, feeling himself growing defensive. "I am using the name of Anakin Skywalker," he replied. "That should tell you something."
"Not really," Organa countered. "A name is just that, a name."
"Is that really why we're here?" Leia spoke up in frustration. "To quibble about names?"
Organa looked at her, disappointed that she'd accepted her biological father so completely. "I think in this circumstance, it's rather critical," he commented. "We have to know who we're dealing with, after all.
Anakin looked at Organa, and then at Leia. He could sense just how desperate she was for this to work, how badly she needed the two halves of her world to be united. Anakin was determined to do his best to make this happen; however he sensed that those seated around the table were not going to make it easy.
"I suppose I'm neither," Anakin spoke up at last. "I'm neither Vader nor Skywalker, not completely. I'm ...somewhere between the two, if that makes sense."
Organa frowned, and looked at Mon Mothma and Ackbar.
"That isn't very reassuring," Mothma said finally. "Given the past twenty years, you can see how the possibility that you are...still partially Vader doesn't exactly sit well with us."
Anakin frowned now. "Do you want me to lie?" he asked. "You want me to pretend that the struggle within me doesn't exist? That I'm fully redeemed and have no traces of Darkness inside of me? Would that make things easier for you?"
"Anakin, I'm sure they don't want that," Padmé said, trying to calm him down.
Anakin looked at her, fighting back a comment he knew would only make things worse.
"Everyone here knows that your transformation has been nothing short of miraculous," Leia spoke up, looking anxiously from face to face. "No one doubts that. You killed Palpatine, you sacrificed your life to save ours," she went on. "And now you want to stop a man whom you once trusted, a man who abused your trust and is now hell bent on..."
"Wait a minute," Organa spoke up. "You want our help to get revenge ?"
Anakin's frown deepened. "This isn't about revenge," he spoke up. "There's much more at stake here than my issues with Firmus Piett."
"And how do we know that?" Mothma spoke up. "For all we know you could be drawing us into a false alliance in order to wipe us out once and for all."
Anakin said nothing in response, but merely turned and looked at Padmé. "This isn't going to work," he told her. "And I'm not about to beg. I'm done here," he added, standing up.
"Anakin, wait!" Padmé called as he strode out of the room.
But Anakin didn't stop, and disappeared onto the terrace, the sound of his boots on the marble fading into the distance. Padmé hesitated for a moment or two, and then ran after him.
"I hope you're happy," Leia said, turning to the Rebel leaders. "Was it too much for you just to listen to him? To trust that he's changed? Isn't it obvious that he has?"
"Leia, you have to understand where we're coming from," Organa spoke up. "Your father has committed uncounted acts of violence, taken more lives than any of us can imagine," he went on. "He has spent the past twenty years terrorizing the galaxy," he continued. "He..."
"We all know what Darth Vader has done," Luke spoke up. "He isn't denying that, none of us are. But if you're going to judge him by his past actions, then go back farther than twenty years. Go back to the Clone Wars, when he was the Hero With no Fear," he went on. "Go back to the hundreds of times his actions saved the lives of countless people, the times he put his own life on the line for the Republic," he went on. "You see, there are two sides to him, but you seem only able to see one, Darth Vader."
No one said anything in response, the tension around the table palpable. Finally Ackbar spoke up.
"Perhaps we should adjourn for the time being," he suggested tentatively. "Clearly we need to ...reflect on this conversation."
"I agree," Mon Mothma spoke up. "We've come all this way; it would be a shame if we didn't at least get to talk."
Leia and Luke looked at each other, equally irritated and frustrated. And then both of them sensed something, something terribly wrong. Father...
"Excuse us," Leia said, standing up with her brother. They both ran out of the room, not offering anything by way of explanation.
Luke and Leia didn't know what they would find, but they were certain that something was very wrong.
"Father? Father where are you?" Luke called as he and Leia ran across the terrace.
"Over here!" they heard their mother call. The tone of her voice said it all.
"What happened?" Leia cried when they reached their parents. Anakin was lying unconscious with Padmé kneeling at his side.
"I don't know!" Padmé cried, the tears streaming down her face. "He ...he was talking to me, and then he just collapsed!"
"Have you summoned the medi-droid?" Luke asked, looking at his father's face anxiously.
Padmé nodded as she picked up one of Anakin's hands. "I never should have brought him out of stasis," she reproached herself. "It was too soon! He's still not well!"
"Mother, do not blame yourself for this!" Leia told her, kneeling down beside her and putting and arm around her mother's shoulders. "We don't even know what's wrong, after all."
Padmé nodded, but inside she felt the knots of anxiety tighten. This is my fault, she reproached herself over and over. If I lose him now, how will I go on?
"What has happened?" the medi-droid asked as it finally arrived.
"He...he collapsed," Padmé said, standing back with Leia to let the droid examine Anakin. "He was fine and then he just collapsed."
"Did he complain of pain of any kind?" the droid asked.
"No, none," Padmé said, watching anxiously as the droid scanned Anakin. "Well? What is it? What's wrong?"
"It's his heart," the droid announced. "He's suffered heart failure. If we don't get him to a medical facility right away, his heart could stop completely."
Padmé's eyes widened in horror, and she froze, unable to react.
"Get a medical capsule, right away," Leia instructed the droid, seeing that her mother was incapable of reacting.
"Yes Princess," the droid replied, and hurried away.
"He'll be okay," Luke told Padmé, "he has to be."
Padmé nodded, feeling frozen inside. And what if he isn't, Luke? She thought numbly. What if he's gone for good this time?
"An air ambulance is on the way," the medi-droid reported as it returned with a medical capsule. "They will arrive in approximately ten minutes."
Padmé nodded in understanding as Luke helped the droid lift Anakin's still form into the capsule. Please don't leave me now, Ani, she prayed silently. I couldn't go on without you.
