Addiction

It's like a drug. I can't stop watching you, no matter how hard I try. When I'm forced to, I find myself physically pained at the loss I feel. Why? Why must you have this affect on me?

I never wanted this, I never asked for this. I never asked to be placed by your side or to be left watching you…falling in the vast chasm of your eyes, reveling in the soft look of your silky lips as they curve into a smile. No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I was never supposed to get so dependent on the sight of you.

I need you. I can hardly go without seeing you. I feel weak and pained the longer we're apart. You're an addiction, one I've completely fallen to the need for.

I want you. I want to always be able to see you, to touch, to feel. I want to see if your hair is as soft as it looks, if your skin is as smooth, if your lips as silky…I want it all.

The feeling won't go away. If anything, it's getting worse. I'm starting to see things where they're not, starting to hear things that aren't there. Is this all because of you? Is not seeing you doing this to me?

Where are you? I can't find you. Don't you see that I need you? That I can't live without you? Come back. Please. It's getting worse. I think something's wrong with me. Where are you? Come Back!

People are starting to notice. They want me to talk about what I'm feeling, try to identify the emotion. Should I? Would you be upset if I did? Could it lead to you finding out? I can't let that happen…it would hurt you, scare you. I can't have that happened. You're mine, even if only from a distance. I can't allow you to be hurt.

They went and told me anyway. They don't know the circumstances, I won't let them find you, but they say I'm showing all the signs of love. Love, isn't that just the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?

…I think it's true. I've really fallen for you, harder than dependence. I want you, I need you, I love you. I'll never let you go. Even if I can't have you, I'll always be there for you, in anyway I can.

Because you are my addiction and I can't stand to be away from you. No matter what, I'll always be by your side. I can't live any other way.