Song: To Make Her Love Me by Rascal Flats

- you tube dot com /watch?v=vIhxmWhdZ60&feature=autoplay&list=PLFEB7378345B0F39F&index=46&playnext=4

Chapter 45 - GROVELING

I was acting just like Edward and I hated it. However there was something that I could do about it. I was going to Bella and we were going to work on this together, like we should have been doing this whole time. I was already in the woods and so I exploded into my wolf, and started running.

It wasn't a long run, but it gave me enough time to torture myself with trying to come up with something to say to Bella. Just about everyone had called me stupid, so I think she knew that already. As I approached the Cullen's home Edward was standing on the front porch, I assumed that he heard me coming and would know that I was here to apologize, and tell her how sorry I was.

"Jacob," he said to me, as he came walking towards me.
I'm sorry. I was going to phase back and realized I didn't have any clothes, and figured that he could listen to my mind.
"You should be." He said angrily. "You have no idea what it has been like for her, moving around every day constantly looking out the windows waiting for you to come back."
I needed time, to figure some things out.
"Imprinting," he said it like it was disgusting. "You should have just let me talk to you."
Save it, Cullen. I growled.
Edward glared as he took another step forward. "If you ever push her away again, I swear, I will take her." Edward promised.

"No, you won't." Bella said from behind him. Edward sighed, then stepped back inside and came back with Bella in his arms. They looked so comfortable together that for a moment I thought maybe Leah was right and Bella had gone back to Edward. Bella looked at Edward and nodded her head my direction, so Edward walked towards me. Suddenly I didn't care about being naked and I phased back, crouching down on the ground.
"Bella . . ." I whispered, looking into her eyes.
Edward set her down and then handed her the crutch so that she could lean on it. I was kneeling so that she was only slightly taller than me. In one solid smack Bella slapped me across the face. I wish that I could say it hurt, but it didn't, at least not physically. However, seeing Bella wince in pain was far worse than any physical pain she could have caused me.
"Jacob Black, do not ever do this again." Bella demanded.

"I won't, I promise." I reached out and took the same hand she had slapped me with and her palm was bright red. Taking one long stride closer, I kissed the palm of her hand up to her wrist, pressing my lips gently to the dark scab where she had been bitten and clawed.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I wish that I could have kept this from happening."
"I wish that you had too. Now leave." Bella said calmly, leaning back.
"What? Please, Bells."

"Don't you dare, 'Bells' me!" She said taking an angry hop back. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes, but I could tell that they were angry tears. I looked past her and saw that Edward standing to the side with his hand out, like he was going to catch her if she fell.
"Sorry, um . . . please, I want to explain." I knew that she had every right to be angry with me, but seeing her so furious was extremely painful.
"You don't need to. I know, you got scared about imprinting because of Paul and Quil."
"More Quil than Paul."
"Why? We both already knew that Quil was probably going to imprint."
"Not on a child, we didn't."

Bella shook her head. "Regardless, you left me," she said, taking another hop back.
"I won't do that again." I promised.
"Unless you imprint, of course." Bella challenged.
"Actually . . ." Edward started to say.
"Not now, Edward." Bella looked at him, shaking her head. Edward gave a brief nod and then went inside, however I'm sure he didn't go far.
"No Bella, I'll fight it. If I imprint, I'll fight to be with you."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Jacob, you ran at the thought of it. You can't possibly promise me that that won't happen again."
"Yes, I can. Bella, I didn't give imprinting as much thought as I should have. I needed time to think and make some decisions."

"My decisions," Bella glared.
"No! MINE. My decisions." I yelled back, coming closer to her." I wasn't trying to decide what you should do, I was trying to decide what I should do. This is my mess. Did it ever occur to you, that I didn't want to break your heart? To go back on every promise I have ever made."
"Didn't you already, when you left?"
I shook my head, feeling so frustrated. "You don't understand what it was like to hold Leah as she completely fell apart. For her to still be in love with a man that she couldn't have. I don't want to be your Sam. You deserve better than that!"

"Did it ever occur to you, that I might think it was worth the risk?"
"Yes, of course." I never really doubted that Bella would think it was worth the risk, but I came to let her decide that for herself. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"That is not good enough." Bella said, shaking her head.
"What do you want from me? I am back." I let me eyes plead into hers, begging for her to listen to me.
For a moment the anger vanished from her face and I could see the pain and sorrow that she felt as her eyes glistened with tears. "I wish that I could believe that, I really do."
I came slightly closer to her, taking her hand. "Give me the chance to prove it, please."

I wasn't sure if I should be touching her at all, but I really wanted to wrap my arms completely around her. Apparently, Bella was thinking the same thing, the next moment her arm was around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist. I wasn't really sure what parts of her were still injured or sore and I didn't want to hurt her, so I held her gently to myself simply thankful that I was able to touch her. I was a little surprised by how tightly Bella was able to hold on to me. I could feel her relax into my chest and I gladly supported her.

Neither of us spoke for a long time and I rubbed my hands in large circles on her back.
"You are so warm." Bella whispered, as she sunk further against me.
"I've missed you, Bella." I pulled back just a little, tucked her hair behind her ears and then rested my hand on her good shoulder. "How are you?" Bella gave me a strange, confused look like I have lost my mind. "I mean with your body." I gestured with my hands over her collarbone and ribs, I could see the cast on her foot.
"Oh," Bella groaned. "It sucks. Everything about this is awkward, trying to move around is the worst. I can't wait to be back to normal."
"Normal, huh?"

Bella laughed and I smiled back at her. "I've missed you, Jake. I want to go home. I don't know where we are right now, but I need your help."
"I'm here. I'll be wherever you need me to be."
We gave each other another big hug and then pulled apart. When we separated, next to us I saw a shirt and a pair of shorts, so I slipped them on. I knew I needed to talk to the Cullens and thank them for everything that they had done for Bella. Not just bringing her home, but also taking care of her when I didn't.

"I need to talk to the Cullens." I told her. Bella simply nodded her head. I started to pick her up and then stopped. "Do you mind?"
"Go ahead." Bella affirmed.
I scooped her up and walked inside their house. Everything was so white and clean, nothing looked used even the furniture. It smelled horrible to me and I was extremely uncomfortable being there, especially when they were all staring at me from the living room.
"You can set me down on the couch." I placed her on the corner of the couch and Alice moved the ottoman, lifted Bella's leg and placed her foot on it.
"Make yourself comfortable." Esme suggested, when she noticed my anxious face.
Like that was going to happen, I thought, but I knew that I couldn't say that so I simply smiled at her and kept my mouth shut. Bella gave her a sweet smile and asked for a glass of water, I was guessing to give her something to do.

Bella settled in easily on the couch next to Jasper, it was obvious that she was very comfortable here. Jasper was right next to Alice and was talking to Emmett, I didn't catch what they were talking about. I stood next to Bella, our hands were intertwined, resting in her lap as she rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand. Her touch was extremely soothing, I guessed that Bella knew how difficult it would be for me to be around so many vampires, especially in a confined space. Esme returned with a glass of water for myself and Bella, taking the glass I thanked her and took a drink to not seem rude.

I took a deep sigh, a little louder than I meant to, and it seemed to draw everyone's attention to me. "Um, I wanted to thank you for bringing Bella back. I should have said this when you all first returned."
"You know we would do anything for Bella." Alice said, as she reached across Jasper to pat Bella's knee. Bella smiled and rested her hand over Alice's.
"I do know that. I am also thankful that you have taken such good care of her after she came back."
"You mean when you didn't." Emmett said and I could see the anger in his eyes.
"Emmett, don't . . ." Bella started to say.
"No," I interrupted. "I deserve that. Yeah, that is what I mean. But I will not do that again." I didn't really feel like I owed them a full explanation or promises, but I did want to show that I was serious about my commitment to Bella.

The others were quiet for a few minutes as Edward and I eyed each other, however neither of us said anything. Not speaking gave him a huge advantage because he could see inside my brain, and I swear I saw him smirk slightly. I rolled my eyes, which Bella noticed and squeezed my hand.
"I'm going to gather my things." Bella said as she used the crutch to stand up and started going towards the staircase.
"Do you need help?" I offered.
"I'll help her." Alice fluttered quickly after her and I figured that they might want a moment before Bella left. Alice lifted Bella and scampered up the stairs.

I asked Carlisle about what I needed to know to take care of her injuries. There wasn't much that needed to be done, it was mostly just waiting. She was still on pain medication, but no prescriptions. She would have to be careful moving her arm because of her collarbone and she was not supposed to get her cast wet. At least I had some experience with that when Victoria caused the car to crash with Bella and Leah inside.

"She gets worn out easier, and sometimes takes something at night before going to sleep." Edward added.
I tried not to let it bother me that he knew her sleeping pattern and was torn between wanting to know and not wanting to.
"Yes, she has been staying in my room." Edward confirmed.
"Were you there too?" I asked.
"Yes. You should know by now that if you are not going to be with Bella, than I will be."
"Any more accidental kisses?" I half joked.
"Unfortunately, no." He smiled at me, and I wasn't sure if it was a forced, fake smile, but I was guessing that it was.

"You know, Jacob, as weird as this might sound, I think it was really good for Bella and I to have this time together."
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying the sarcastic response that was on the tip of my tongue.
Edward laughed. "Well, at least you have some control over what comes out of your mouth."
"I try," I rolled my eyes. "Why was this good for you?"
"I have always assumed that it was you that kept Bella and I apart. That without you, she would come back to me."
"I would have thought that as well. That doesn't really explain why Bella being here was good for you." I added, still confused.

"I suppose it does not. What I am saying is that, I am not a threat to you and Bella."
"Ummm, interesting. Thank you, Edward." I couldn't say that I completely understood what he was trying to tell me, but I appreciated him trying to explain it to me. "I really did mean it when I said that I will not push her away again."
"I know. I just wish that you had let me talk to you." Edward said seriously.
"I wouldn't have listened."
"You are pretty stubborn like that."
I shrugged. "I'm not the only one, you know."

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but we could both hear Bella's loud crutch, slamming into everything, but the floor. We looked at each other and smiled, I think we both knew how stubborn Bella could be. The fact that Bella was trying to get around on her own in a house full of strong vampires proved the point nicely.
"Well, good luck, Jacob."
How much groveling do I need to do? I thought to Edward.
"Lots, of course." Edward whispered.
Of course. I took a deep breath, cringing from the smell.
Alice carried Bella down the stairs, looking at Edward and I cautiously. I'm not sure if she thought we would try to hurt each other, but it was good for us to have a moment to talk to each other. There was a large suitcase in Alice's hand and I took it from her, as she set Bella back down and helped to position the crutch for Bella. I was going to put the suitcase in my car until I realized that I didn't exactly arrive here on two legs, or four wheels for that matter.

"Would you like a ride home?" Edward asked. "Or you are welcome to borrow a car."
As tempting as it would be to drive one of the Cullen's cars it didn't feel like the right time for a joy ride. "How about I borrow a car another time." I suggested.
"Alright." Edward agreed.
"Lets get me home." Bella said, and I could still hear the irritation in her voice. It was going to take some work on my part, but I was ready.

Bella hobbled awkwardly and I followed her because I wasn't sure where we were going. She gave hugs to each of the Cullens, thanking them and promising to see them soon. We went around the kitchen to the side door, into the garage. It was like car heaven in here, so I walked slowly each one more amazing than the next. There was a black BMW that was completely smashed and I figured that it must have been the car used for Bella's "car accident" cover story.

"Would you like for me to look at fixing it?" I asked. I wasn't really sure where I would put it with the Rabbit and Bella's truck taking up my entire garage.
"It is Rosalie's car and she is pretty good, but I will pass the offer along." Edward said as he walked over to his silver Volvo. I placed Bella's suitcase in the trunk, as Alice helped Bella into the back seat, then gave her a huge hug. I got in the back seat, placed the seatbelt around Bella, clicking it into place before Edward drove us home.

In no time we pulled up to Bella's house and I was relieved that Charlie's cruiser wasn't there, I wasn't quite ready to face him.
I got out of the back seat and Edward got her suitcase, which I took from him. "I'll take this inside, and give you guys a moment."
"You don't have to leave." Edward said.
"I'm not, I'm just going inside." I turned to Bella and got her keys from her. "Take your time." I felt like the least I could do was let them say goodbye to each other privately.

I went inside the house, placing the suitcase in the laundry room. I made a quick phone call to Dad telling him I was here, he was glad and told me to take my time coming home. Paul and Rachel were there so it wasn't a problem. I thought I would do what I could to make being home as comfortable for her as possible. There were a few dishes in the sink and the floor could use vacuuming. As I started to fill the sink I could hear Bella's crutch beating the porch, so I went and opened the front door.
"Bella, do you want help?" She was fighting with the one step that they had leading to the porch.
"Yes." Bella answered with a sigh.
I lifted her up, carrying her inside. "Do you want to be in the living room or the kitchen?"
"Living room."
I placed her on the couch, grabbed a kitchen chair to place her foot on and handed her the remote for the TV, before going back into the kitchen.
"What are you doing in there?" Bella called.
"Dishes, just give me a sec."

I knew how much Bella appreciated having her space be clean and I thought that it would be the least I could do to make her feel more comfortable. It didn't take long to finish up the dishes, then I vacuumed and started some laundry for Bella. I didn't want to seem ungrateful that one of them gave me some clothes to wear, but they really stunk so I took the shirt off, throwing it in the washing machine with Bella's clothes. I settled on the other side of the couch and we tried to talk, but it was strained and uncomfortable. Slowly, the more we talked it became more comfortable.

"Hey Bells," I froze when I called her that not sure if she would be angry about it.
"Yeah?"
"Are you hungry? I was going to get something to eat."
"Sure, sure." I couldn't help smirking at her using my phrase. She saw and reached over, smacking my shoulder. "For that, you are making dinner."
"What?" I gave a fake, shocked expression. "Did you expect to make dinner on one leg?"
"I could." Bella challenged.
"Sure, sure." I smirked at her and she laughed.

I switched her clothes over to the dryer and started another load before I made some sandwiches. I placed two on a plate for Bella and three for myself.
"Hey Bella, what does Charlie know about what happened? I mean, I know about the car accident story, but what about why you have been with the Cullens for so long." I asked, joining her back on the couch.
"Honestly, with Alice helping me to shower and get dressed I said it was just easier to get ready there. That made sense to him and I would talk to him on the phone often."
"Thanks for not throwing me under the bus with Charlie."
"It is the least I could do."

"That is an understatement, and you know it, Bells. There are a lot of things that you could have done."
Bella half shrugged with her good shoulder. "He also knew that you had things that you needed to take care of with Sam's death." Bella looked sad for a moment. "I wish that I had been here for that."
"That would have been great. I missed you so much." I gave her most of the details of the funeral, including being chief.
"Wow, you're chief."
"Yeah, I'm not really sure what that means for me right now."
"Chief Jacob." Bella smiled.
I rolled my eyes. "You're such a dork."

We went to the kitchen and I began to gather things for dinner. I had made lasagna before with Bella's help, so it seemed like something we could do together. We chatted easily, however it was obvious that we were avoiding the main things we needed to talk about. It seemed that she really did have a good time with the Cullens, telling me about what she did with them. It wasn't much due to her being so uncomfortable and slept a lot from the prescription pain medication. She watched a lot of movies, spent time outside on the front porch or would be carried for a "walk", and Edward would read out loud or play the piano. I could tell that her and Edward really did have a good friendship and I began to understand what he was trying to say about it being good for them to have this time together.

Once dinner was in the oven, we settled comfortably on the couch, flipping on the TV to help pass the time. Bella relaxed on her back and I placed her feet in my lap, massaging her calves and her good foot, while Bella closed her eyes relaxing. She looked so peaceful that after awhile I rested next to her with my head on her chest. I could feel it rise and fall as she breathed deeply, my hand wandered aimlessly over her stomach and hip as she ran her fingers through my hair. It felt really good and soon I felt Bella's hand still and her rhythmic breathing indicated that she was asleep. I looked up at her beautiful face and couldn't believe that she had taken me back.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. Very lightly I kissed her lips and then I settled my head back on her chest, wrapping my arms round her, and went to sleep.

I woke up to the house smelling really great, but something else didn't smell good. I turned my head, realizing that it was Bella I was smelling, she still smelled like them on her clothes. I also could feel someone staring and lifted my eyes to see Charlie standing over me, clearly not happy. I followed his glare to my hand that was resting over Bella's breast and immediately raised my hand.
"Um . . . uh, sorry. I honestly didn't mean to." I awkwardly disentangled myself from Bella so that I was sitting next to her, she stayed asleep.
"Normally it is good to see you, Jacob."
"Yeah, it is good to be back. You'll have to get use to seeing me with Bella . . . I mean not like you did earlier . . . with me touching her . . . but just where I am where she is . . . we are . . ."
"Shut up, Jacob."

Immediately, I shut my mouth, which Charlie started laughing at.
"You are acting like you can't have a life outside of Bella or her have one outside of you."
"Isn't that how it is suppose to be?" I asked.
"Look, I will never compare her relationship to you and to hers with Edward, however I never liked how Bella got so wrapped up in the Cullens that she forgot about everyone else. As much as I like you and Bella together, I do not want that to happen. You need to be able to breathe, and it not be down each others' neck."
"Really? I'm quite fond of Bella's neck." I leaned over and kissed the side of her neck, next to her shoulder.
"Jake," Charlie shook his head, his voice a slight warning.
I smiled at him. "Sorry, I couldn't help it."

Charlie rolled his eyes, mumbling about young love and being a teenager. I got up and checked on dinner that was in the oven, it was getting brown on top so I turned the oven off and left it there. Then I switched over Bella's clothes to the dryer and started the next load. Returning to the couch, I placed Bella's legs back in my lap and took her hand that was resting across her stomach, rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand. Charlie and I stayed comfortably silent until Bella woke up. She stretched lazily, smiling at me.
"Hey, beautiful." I said, causing her to blush. I took her hands, helping her to sit up and Bella leaned against my side.
"Hey," she whispered as she lightly pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her back gently, caressing her cheek with my hand, resting my forehead against hers when we pulled apart. Despite the kiss being brief, it felt fantastic to have my lips touch hers.
"I love you, Bella." I whispered to her.

"Love you, too." She gave a weak smile and it looked like she was hurting. I got her some more pain medication from the upstairs bathroom and a glass of water before getting everything finished for dinner. We had a quiet dinner between the three of us, as things were starting to feel back to normal. Charlie went back to the living room, I washed the dishes, while Bella chatted as she folded some of her laundry. I knew that it was time for me to head to my own house, but I didn't want to leave Bella's side. It crossed my mind to just stay here, but I knew that I needed to go home.

As I was drying the last dish, Bella hobbled towards me, wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. I took a deep breath and let myself relax back into her body, as her head rested between my shoulder blades.
"I love you, Jake," she said softly, "but . . . sometimes I don't like you very much."
"I know, we need to talk this out." I could feel her nod her head. Slowly I turned around so that she was against my chest, and wrapped my arms around her back. "Can you come home with me? Or would you rather be in your own bed?"
"I want to be with you, wherever that happens to be." Bella tried to lift up on her toes, but it was hard with one foot, so I lifted her off the ground bringing our lips together.