I think this is the longest chapter I have written for this so far... sorry! Hopefully it'll make up for the long gap slightly. Between dissertation, coursework and my godson arriving last week I've had no time, at all!

And this one was re-written so many times. Probably one of the most important chapters so far, and I could not get it the way I wanted it :P This will have to do tho :) Will try to update this and my other fics sooner next time!

But MASSIVE thank yous to everyone still reading, and to Thaliab, Izzy, gem.S, pinkswallowsun, dinabar, Lizziginne, EmmaJ1996 and Thyqua a GINORMOUS thank you for your amazing reviews :D

I hope this one makes sense, but if not, please do let me know! :)

xXx


Chapter 52 - Julia

Nikki blinked, her face illuminated by the weak moonlight as she tried to focus on what was happening. Unlike the barn, the small building that Nikki now found herself in was in a serious state of disrepair, the wooden walls cracked and rotten, the roof collapsed at one end. It resembled a large shed, yet it was completely empty and obviously hadn't been used in years.

Sighing to herself, Nikki moved to lean against one of the walls, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Just get it over with Julia," she mumbled, looking round the room and away from the woman standing in front of her, her pathology skills running on overdrive. The other girls hadn't been in here, she could tell. There was no blood, and although the others had been stabbed where they were left, Megan hadn't. "I don't know what you think you'll get from all of this, but just get on with it."

Julia frowned, crossing her arms over her body and leaning against the wall opposite Nikki.

"What do you mean 'what I'll get from this'? I've already gotten so much-"

Nikki couldn't help the laugh that escaped, a tired, strained laugh as she leant her head back against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Yeah, you really have achieved so much," Nikki sighed. "How long do you think it'll be Julia?"

"How long?" Julia repeated, confusion painted across her features.

"How long before he gets bored," Nikki asked simply, opening her eyes to look at Julia. "How long before you end up on the mortuary slab as his next victim."

"That will never happen," Julia smirked, yet Nikki could see her hands trembling. "Never. He would never hurt me. I am as much a part of this as he is. He couldn't do this without me!"

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Nikki smiled, raising her eyebrows. "I mean, just think about it. You're blonde, you fit his age category- well, just about. You could go missing quite easily, couldn't you? And everyone would just presume that you were another victim."

"You mean like you did," Julia grinned again, kneeling down in front of Nikki.

"Like I did," Nikki nodded, the smile never leaving her lips.

She didn't know what it was, the reason for the smile to remain. Maybe it was the knowledge that everything was coming to an end, that there was no point in trying to fight it. Maybe it was the fact that Julia wanted her to scream, expecting her to give up and beg for freedom. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because there was still a tiny spark of hope buried deep within her soul, that was hoping, praying, that everything was going to be alright, and that he would save her like he always did.

"So how, exactly, did you get involved in all of this?" Nikki asked, tilting her head to the side. She could tell that Julia was going to talk, it's what she had been waiting for. Her last chance to confide in someone what she had done, knowing that Nikki would never be able to tell anyone. And the sooner she started talking, the sooner Nikki could stop. Her eyes already felt heavy, her whole body drained of energy. "I can tell none of this was your idea."

"I play a very big part in this actually!" Julia almost exploded, as if trying desperately to defend herself, yet Nikki didn't flinch. "How else would he be able to collect his angels if I wasn't there? You know, a friendly face to talk to, someone they wouldn't expect. They never saw him coming until it was too late."

"You're starting to sound like him. 'Collecting his angels,' come on Julia, I can tell by your voice that you know all this is wrong. What does he have on you?" Nikki asked, watching the anger flicker over Julia's features.

"Nothing, we are in this together, he needs me," Julia repeated, moving closer to Nikki and grabbing her by the top of the arms so she was staring right at her. "He needed me for every one of those girls, apart from you. Well, you and the first one he got, but she was stupid enough to step into the car with him. Thought that he was using her. And he was, of course, but not in the way that she thought. She was his fist one, the first of his collection. If only the other girls were as good as her, then none of them would be dead. It was their own fault.

"But you, Nikki Alexander. Like I said, you were different. If I had knocked on your door that night then there would have been a very little chance of you opening it to me, wouldn't there. You've never liked me, I can tell. What is it that you don't trust? The fact that you thought I was involved in all of this, or that I was able to get Harry and you couldn't."

Without thinking, Nikki pushed Julia's hands off her arms and moved away from her, running her hands through her hair and fighting the tears to stay away. Julia's manic laugh filled the barn as she began to pace the length of it, her eyes never leaving Nikki.

"I got it in one, didn't I? It was Harry. You hated me because I had him and you wanted him. Honestly Nikki, how long have you been working together? About eight years according to Harry. And in those eight years, you couldn't get him. What does that tell you?" Julia stopped, moving back to Nikki and kneeling down again. "He doesn't want you."

Nikki froze, the tears now so close to spilling over that she was angry with herself. Julia was right. He didn't want her, he had told her so himself. And suddenly Nikki was back at Harry's apartment, his strong arms wrapped around her as she leant her head against his chest, before he had pulled away, letting her look into his dazzling eyes that had become so full of emotions that she couldn't read. He had turned away from her, hadn't even wanted to look at her, as he spoke the words.

'I don't want you Nikki.'

And why would he after all. Julia was right. She had had eight years to make Harry want her, and she couldn't. She never would. Now it was too late to try any longer.

And just like that, the tiny spark of hope was gone, leaving Nikki feeling more empty and alone than ever before.

"So," Julia stood again, folding her arms and looking down on Nikki, who had tucked her knees up to her chin. "I thought I'd tell you what really happened, thought I'd be nice to you. You know, give you some closure to the case that you've now become part of."

"You mean you'll be just like the stereotypical side kick in some crappy murder film," Nikki raised her eyebrows, resting her chin on her knees. "Because that's what you are, aren't you? And that's why you're going to tell me everything that happened. Because you feel guilty, don't you? You never really wanted to get in so far, but now, now there's no way of getting out again. Not alive anyway."

"Shut up!" Julia shouted, her hands shaking again. "Just shut up. You don't know a thing. You don't know anything!"

"But I do," Nikki said casually, her chin still on her knees. "I've seen all the girls, remember. I've seen exactly what he did to them. And I guessed weeks ago that you were involved in your sister's killing, even though Harry said that you couldn't be, that the DNA wasn't close enough. The DNA that was found under Jennifer and Ray's fingernails didn't belong to anyone related to Jennifer. So who helped you Julia? Is that how you owe him, how you've become so caught up in it all?"

Julia paused, a grin reappearing on her lips.

"I told you," she smiled. "You don't know everything. You see, Jennifer and Ray, that was me. It had nothing to do with him, nothing at all! It was all me."

"But the DNA-" Nikki frowned, yet it was Julia's laughter that interrupted Nikki this time.

"The DNA was right. There would be no match between me and Jennifer. Because she's not my sister," Julia said blankly, the grin reappearing on her lips. "Not really."

Nikki opened her mouth to reply, yet found herself completely lost for words.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Julia laughed hysterically, tilting her head at Nikki. "Oops, I must have forgotten to mention it to Harry on one of our drunken nights. One of those hot, steamy nights where I opened my heart to Harry and made him believe every word I was saying, whether it was the truth or not."

Nikki could see the anger reappearing in Julia's eyes, and felt her own hands begin to shake at the mention of Harry's name.

"You see, when I was three months old, I was adopted. I know how alike me and my sister look, but believe me that is complete coincidence, and when you look closely, you can see how different we really are. Blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin… yeah we shared those characteristics, but that's about all. I was adopted by Gloria and Frank Lyons after they tried for years to have a child of their own. And I, I was their little ray of hope. I was their family!" Julia's voice was getting louder as she paced the length of the shed.

"But then little Jennifer came along. Their own child. One that they never thought possible, and one that seemed to fit into the family perfectly. Unlike me. Yeah I looked similar, but I was completely different. We were never the happy family that we looked. I was never part of their family. Not really.

"I wasn't good enough for them any more. Whatever I did, Jennifer could only do better. She always seemed to get the attention, and the praise, and the opportunities… I was shoved aside. I was the old model, the one that wasn't quite good enough. She had a family ready and waiting for her when she was born, and then she married, and started her new family, and everyone was so happy for her, and what did I have? Nothing, that's what I had.

"So I decided to change all that. I wanted what she had, and so I chose to take it," Julia was smiling now as she stopped in front of Nikki, kneeling down to her level once again as Nikki rested her head against the crumbling wall.

"You see, life is what you make it Nikki. And Ray was pretty easy to manipulate really. I could always tell he would be easy. I just battered my eyelids, acted needy, and within weeks I'd got him under my thumb. I'd got what was hers, and she hated it," Julia paused, before smirking at Nikki. "He was a little like Harry actually, the way he was so easily led."

Nikki wanted to scream and shout, wanted to lash out at Julia and hit her as hard as she could, wanted to make her stop talking about Harry and everything she had managed to do with him. But she was exhausted, her whole body still aching, and it was taking all her effort just to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

"It was your idea, wasn't it?" she asked eventually, deciding to stay clear of a conversation about Harry. "The playing cards, they were your idea. 'Happy Families.' Do you know how many happy families you helped to destroy?"

"Now you're getting there," Julia smiled again, and Nikki sighed. How could Harry put up with someone so annoying for so long? "I destroyed her happy little family. My perfect sister's perfect family, and all I had to do was sleep with her perfect husband."

Nikki watched as Julia began to pace the room again, her mind obviously elsewhere, before she suddenly turned to Nikki and smiled slyly.

"It was her perfect husband that got me involved in all of this," her smile faltered slightly as she closed her eyes. "At the beginning, Ray was a part of everything. He was planning everything with him, and to be honest, I don't even know whose idea it was to begin with! Anyway, the closer I got to Ray, the more he told me about what they were planning, and then said that I could be part of it. I could help them to collect the girls. They never said anything about murdering them, just selling them to whoever could pay the right price.

"And at the very start everything was ok. Everything seemed to be working to our advantage, and there was no way that anything could go wrong."

Julia paused, turning to Nikki and shaking her head slightly.

"But then Jennifer found out what was happening, between Ray and I. She followed us, overheard everything and told us that there was no way she'd let us carry on. Ray managed to talk her round however, she was even more easy to manipulate than her husband. He told her that our relationship was strictly business related, and that what we were doing was for the best. That the girls deserved it, and that none of them would be hurt. She seemed to take it all ok at first, like she understood all the lies that we told her, but I know for a fact that she was just afraid of losing her husband. She would have done anything for Ray. She loved him more than anyone else in the world."

"And yet she was pregnant with some other man's baby," Nikki muttered, raising her eyebrows. "Are you sure you knew your sister? It wasn't Ray's baby."

Julia seemed to pause again, the emotions flashing over her features as she stared at Nikki.

"Did you even know she was pregnant, before Harry told you?" Nikki asked, feeling her eyes grow heavy and forcing herself to stay alert. "Did you know that you had murdered three people that night?"

"You don't know what happened!" Julia shouted, her eyes wide.

"But I thought that's what the point of all this was. I thought you were going to tell me everything, a chance to clear your conscience," Nikki said calmly, watching as Julia seemed to battle with herself as to what to say.

"My sister was not as innocent as you think," Julia eventually smirked. "She knew what was happening, and for weeks she let it go by without mentioning it to anyone. She even suggested a few of the people on our clients list, people that may have been interested in what we were planning. We didn't use anyone before we were certain of who they were of course, and at one point Jen even offered to help out with interviewing him. She-"

Julia froze again, turning away from Nikki.

"She went to his flat, she was supposed to ask him a few questions, make sure that he was safe enough to use. Tell him that all the girls were professional, tell a few lies to soften him up. She was supposed to be gone a few hours-"

Nikki laughed, and Julia turned towards her, her glare venomous.

"What?" Julia shouted.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "It's just, well, you were supposed to be telling me what happened, and so far it doesn't sound like you know that much. Your sister got pregnant by one of the men you were trying to sell the girls to, and you've only just worked it out. He really is the brains behind all this, isn't he? You just tag along for the ride."

"I am valuable to him!" Julia shouted again, her whole body trembling. "How else do you think he got the Ketamine to sedate the girls? Without it they would all have escaped, and none of this would have worked. That's the brilliant thing about all my patients being animals, they can't tell anyone anything. All I had to do was write on their notes that they had been given it, and no one notices when a few bottles go missing from the supply cupboard."

"Very clever," Nikki sighed sarcastically. "And I'm guessing that you felt as if you had to help him, after he helped you murder your own sister."

"I told you," Julia snarled. "He had nothing to do with that. That was me."

Julia stopped, before kneeling down in front of Nikki and placing her hands on her knees.

"A few weeks ago, you can probably remember the date better than I can, Jennifer arrived at my front door. She had had an argument with Ray, like I told Harry, and Ray had told her everything that had happened between us. How we were seeing each other behind her back. So she came round, started screaming and shouting and telling me that she wished I had never been adopted by her parents, that I didn't deserve to be part of their family.

"And then Ray tried to step in and she went mad, lashing out at him and trying to push him away. He threw his hands up to protect himself and caught her on the side of the cheek and she fell, knocking herself out. We panicked, knowing that she was going to tell everyone what we had done to the girls, what had happened to the first girl that hadn't done as she was told. You see, by this time, everything was getting out of hand. He had killed one of the girls, after promising that no one would be hurt. Jen found out after her picture appeared in the paper, and that's what started the whole argument with Ray."

Nikki closed her eyes and leant her forehead on her knees. The Ruby Wilson case seemed so long ago, and never for one second had she thought she'd end up in a situation like she was now the first day she had been given the Wilson case to complete.

"So then you murdered her, so she wouldn't tell anyone what you'd done. You murdered your own sister," Nikki muttered, not looking up. "She was your family."

"I hadn't planned to hurt her. Even when she was lying in my hall, after he had knocked her out, I didn't want to hurt her!" Julia yelled, and Nikki looked up. "You're right, she was my little sister, but she knew too much. She compromised everything. And so I phoned him, asked him what I should do, and he told me to get rid of her. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to hurt her."

Julia sighed leant against the wall opposite Nikki so she was sitting with her knees tucked up, mimicking Nikki's posture.

"Ray took her and put her in the car. We went to the river. And she woke up. She was so angry, and she lashed out at him again, but he grabbed her by the arms and shouted at her, told her that he didn't love her and that he never had. They argued, and he shouted, and then her hit her but this time he meant to hit her. He punched her and she fell. And she didn't get back up again. She'd hit her head on something, cut the side of her head, kind of in the same place as yours."

Julia paused and Nikki ran her fingers over the steri-strips on the side of her head. She'd forgotten about the cut completely in the last few days.

"He dragged her to the side of the river and pulled out a knife. Before I'd even realised what he was doing he'd cut her wrists, leaving her bleeding. I didn't want to hurt her…"

Julia trailed off, and for the first time Nikki saw real emotion in her eyes as she blinked up at Nikki.

"And so you killed Ray?" she asked cautiously, and Julia nodded slightly.

"I didn't know what I was doing. I knew there was nothing I could do to save her, there was just so much blood. He dropped the knife and started to walk away, and that's when I just- I don't know- snapped I suppose. I grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the back, and he fell into the mud. I watched him as he tried to pull himself up the hill, as he clambered in the mud, I just watched him. He'd hurt my little sister, his wife, he'd killed her. And then I turned him over, looked into his eyes, and plunged the knife into his chest, watching as he died."

Julia sighed again, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.

"I told Harry, Ray hurt my sister. I would never, never have hurt her like he did."

Nikki didn't know what to say as she watched Julia, didn't know what to feel. She was so tired of everything, of the waiting, knowing that she should be grateful for the few moments of numbness before he arrived. Before the pain started. She was just so tired…

"But everything is going to work out, I have a plan. You see Nikki, Jennifer may not have been pregnant with Ray's baby, but I am," she smirked, placing her hand over her stomach. "Out of all of this, I'm pregnant with his baby. But I've got everything worked out. Everything is going to be ok. Because when Harry finds your body dumped near his apartment, he's going to be distraught that he couldn't save you in time. And he'll be so grief stricken that he won't question the dates when I tell him that the baby is his. I'm going to replace you Nikki, and soon he won't even notice you are gone."

Nikki laughed, feeling the tears reappear and sting her eyes.

"I wouldn't count on it Julia," she said, hearing her voice falter as she slowly pushed herself to her feet, wobbling slightly. "He won't care. Like you said, he doesn't want me. I'm his colleague, nothing more, why would you want to replace me when I'm just someone he sees every day at work? But I know for a fact that he's going to see right through you. He's going to know that the baby isn't his, and he's going to work out that you're a part of all of this."

Julia smiled again as she busied herself with her nails, as if trying to avoid looking at Nikki now. Nikki glanced around the small room, her bare feet numb against the cold ground and the freezing temperature making her whole body tremble.

No one was coming. Not the police, not the search team, not even Harry.

Deep down Nikki had known this for a long time, and yet now, none of that seemed to matter. The only thing that did matter was the fact that Julia wasn't looking, there was a gap in the crumbling wooden walls only a few feet away, and she had promised Jessica that she was going to go home, going to get out of here before it was too late.

Without really thinking, Nikki edged towards the gap, thankful that it was large enough to fit through, and just as Julia glanced up, she slipped through it into the cold night, turning in the direction of the barn and running as fast as she could, her body screaming at her to stop.

Just as she reached the barn door, the sound of a car door slamming shut echoed around her and Nikki felt the tears finally escape and run down her cheeks.

This was it. He was coming for her.