Team of Monsters

I don't own Naruto. This Shot, much like the one before it, is completely unrelated to any of the other Shots in the Gallery. I'll most likely continue this one at some point, but not quite yet. Bonus points to whoever recognizes Sai's serial number.

It was an interesting moment for Kakashi Hatake when he entered the room. While he expected the five people seated in there, he did not expect them to look the way they did or be seated as far apart as they were. Despite his concern, he attempted to make a joke as he said, "My first impression of you: I hate you. Meet me on the roof."

With that, he used Shunshin to reach the roof before they did, trying to make himself believe that he had just been mistaken, that they didn't have that look that he knew all too well.

When they finally made it to the roof, he looked at the quintet to see what they looked like, and was disturbed to see he was correct. Yakumo Kurama was dressed as the file stated she would dress, yet she was glancing at everyone with eyes that kept flickering between a dead stare and an unearthly light of rage. Beside her, the boy known only as Sai stood dressed in a black outfit that left only his head uncovered, while his vacant, soulless eyes and faked smile did their best to give him the appearance of a doll. Wearing a red hooded cloak, Sakura Haruno stood behind the pair, looking at everything around her with a silent look of contemplation in her almost glowing green eyes. To her left, Sasuke Uchiha avoided all eye contact with anyone, focusing on anything but their faces. Bringing up the rear, Naruto Uzumaki came in, wearing a black leather glove on his right hand and a black eyepatch over his left eye.

Acting as if this was a normal sight outside of the Anbu Headquarters, Kakashi offered his friendliest smile with his eye and said, "Alright, let's get the basics out of the way for us to get to know each other."

"Please give an example of how to make introductions to one another," Sai said in a dull monotone, not removing the fake smile from his face.

"Alright," he replied, "My name's Kakashi Hatake. I like some things, I dislike others. I have lots of hobbies, and as for dreams for the future. . . well, I don't really have any. Why don't you go next, since you were the one to ask?"

"I am called Sai," the boy said in a monotone, keeping that smile of a damned soul plastered on his face, "I am a former member of the disbanded organization ROOT under the deceased Danzo Shimura, where I was stripped of all emotions and identity, at which point I was assigned the number 9430. I do not understand the concepts of likes or dislikes, and the only task I perform that could qualify as a hobby is painting, though it is a combat technique that I practice and utilize. I have no dreams for the future, as I am unsure who I am to serve and am therefore unaware of what goal I am to accomplish."

"Alright then. . . Pinky?" Kakashi asked, trying not to think of just how much would have been needed to have been done to the boy to make him this empty shell.

"I'm Sakura Haruno," she said, staring at him like a trapped predator would a potential enemy, "I like sharp weapons and the scent of blood. I dislike being stared at when I bring in the carcasses of whatever prey I've been hunting. My hobbies are hunting and thinking of ways to either kill or be killed. My dream for the future is to hunt the most dangerous game in the world. Whether I live or die doesn't matter at all, since no one would really care about someone her own parents call 'a sociopathic monster with delusions of grandeur.'"

"Okay then," Kakashi said, more than a little unnerved, "Uh. . . Brown haired?"

"I'm Ido Kurama," the girl said sluggishly, her eyes once more dead, "Kurenai-sensei said I was too violent to be allowed to exist, so she sealed away my personality and emotions. I have no purpose yet am forced to linger here. . ."

"I'm Yakumo Kurama," the girl continued, her eyes now blazing with fury, "I like painting and practicing genjutsu. I dislike Kurenai for betraying my trust and making Ido into the shell of what she once was, and I'm still trying to decide whether or not to put you on the list with her for being late. My hobbies are painting and practicing genjutsu. My dream for the future is to unseal Ido and punish Kurenai for doing this to her. I have all the time in the world at my disposal to come up with a fitting punishment, so I can be patient."

"Why don't you go now, Duck-Hair," Kakashi said, going out of his way to avoid even talking about anything the girl just said. He'd discuss it with Kurenai the next time he saw her.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," he said, looking in Kakashi's general direction yet avoiding his eye, "I don't like people, or anything else really. I don't really have any hobbies other than looking up increasingly cruel ways to kill people. My goal for the future is to one day kill my brother in as merciless a way possible, to make him pay for killing them all. Maybe then the screams will stop and the villagers will quit staring."

"Okay," Kakashi said, trying to think of whether there were any therapist nin he could send him to that weren't Gai, as the boy clearly needed help, "Alright, Blondie, how about you?"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, but most people call me the Kyuubi when they think no one's listening," he said, holding his gloved hand in his ungloved one, "I like a few things, and I'd rather not talk about what they are so they don't get destroyed. I dislike the ignorant villagers and Mizuki for getting me angry enough to release my other chakra and thereby make me into a monster. My hobbies will not be discussed for the same reason I will not speak of my likes. My dream for the future is to miraculously become the Hokage, despite people's best efforts."

"What do you mean, made you a monster?" Kakashi asked, as pressing on casually was the only way to ignore the fact that everything he'd heard on this roof by this point sounded like something that one of his former colleagues in Anbu would say.

"Let me show you," Naruto said, grabbing his eyepatch with his ungloved hand, "I'm sure that the average civilian would be terrified even knowing about what you're all about to see, so I'd be glad to know that you won't talk about what you're about to see."

With that said, the blond lifted his eyepatch, revealing a glowing red eye with a slit for a pupil. Once that was off, he took off the glove, revealing a clawed red hand that seemed to be emanating a faint aura of red chakra. Holding the hand up to his eye-level, Naruto said, "While I was attacking him, the traitor got two lucky shots with a shuriken and a kunai, which made my eye burst and cut off my hand. My. . . tenant replaced them, but they came out looking like this."

"Well, then," Kakashi said, having had enough things disturb him for the day, "Meet me at Training Ground Seven at noon tomorrow. I'm going to give you a test to see if you truly classify as genin or if you get sent back to the Academy. I would recommend not eating. You'd most likely throw it up."

"Very well, sensei," Naruto said, evidently taking up the role of spokesman as he replaced his eyepatch and glove, "We will be there."

With that, Kakashi left the roof, hoping to talk to the Hokage about his new potential team.


"You're wondering why I gave you these students for your team," the Hokage said right as Kakashi entered the room, "I expected as much. Sit down. I want to tell you a story. There was once a boy with no one to call family after his father died. He buried himself in his duties until one day, one miraculous day, he made friends with his teammates and sensei, who supported him and made him into a person, rather than a shinobi."

"But then his teammates died, as did the sensei he viewed as a father to him," Kakashi interrupted, not wanting to linger on his past, "What does that have to do with this team arrangement?"

"I feel that these children could use people who need them, people they could be with without any need to hide," the Hokage said plainly, looking Kakashi square in the eye as he spoke, "And, should they pass the bell test, they would need a sensei who once managed to climb out of the despair that each of them seems to feel. Give them the bell test, and if they pass, teach them. That's all I'm asking of you."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the jounin replied, leaving the office in order to get the bells out of the box he kept them in after buying another bell.


"Now, there are three bells, and whoever hasn't held onto a bell by the end will not pass and will be sent back to the Academy," Kakashi said, preparing for them to all rush him individually.

To the jounin's surprise, Sasuke stepped back, as the rest stood behind him, while he formed the handsigns for the Katon. Kakashi quickly leapt out of the way of the fireball, only to be knocked to the ground by a large dragon that Sai had created out of ink. This tactic caused him to land in a swarm of one thousand shadow clones that Naruto had summoned, which began to overwhelm the now off-balance jounin enough for them and their creator to manage to get a few good hits on him as he attempted to make his escape by fighting his way out.

He eventually succeeded in escaping the legion, only to be struck by a powerful punch from Sakura, which knocked him against a tree and into a strong snare that she evidently made before he arrived. He proceeded to cut himself down from the snare, and as he landed, he raised his eyes to look at his opponents. To his surprise, the jounin was greeted by malevolent brown eyes that sent him into a darkness he couldn't see or hear his way out of.

When he finally realized that it was genjutsu that was being used on him, he dispelled it with some effort and, to his surprise, found the group standing in front of him, with Yakumo, Naruto, and Sasuke each holding a bell. Before Kakashi so much as could utter a word, Sasuke handed his bell to Sakura while Yakumo handed hers to Sai and Naruto tossed him the bell.

Watching the now strangely happy group seem to be bonding with one another, Kakashi made his decision and smiled as he said, "You all pass. You actually understood the test and managed to work together, which no other team I've tested has ever done. It reminds me of how, years ago, a person who I didn't know I would eventually call my best friend told me that those who abandon a mission are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash. He was right, and I took his words to heart. Never forget that lesson, no matter what else you do in your lives. I learned that the hard way with the death of my best friend. Anyway, meet me here tomorrow at the same time. Team Seven, you are dismissed for the day."