A/N- Hey everyone! So after three weeks, I have finally gotten the next chapter to a point where I am satisfied with it. Honestly... I almost decided not to work on the story anymore... but I got an amazing review from The Endless River that inspired me to keep going (which I just want to tell you... Merci Beaucoup!).
This chapter is back to the present day... and so will the next one. I'm really not looking forward to the next couple of flashback chapters (and neither are all of you, I'm sure), but they're going to happen eventually *sniffles and whimpers*. It's taking me some time to work on chapters, but know that the next two are in the works and just need to be refined a little. It will probably be a few more weeks before I will get them posted.
So with that said, enjoy this chapter! And even though I'm not getting many reviews lately, I do see how many people are reading, to which I'm very grateful that you're all still here and along for the ride! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
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After Tala told the twins everything, they spent a good amount of time staring at her in silence. While the other two women sat there waiting for the men to say something, Tala took a moment to rub her face as she did her best to hide her tears. It was difficult to talk about Martin; it was difficult to talk about his death; it was difficult to explain that she walked away from her role as Empress and was choosing not to place her child on its rightful seat on the throne. But they wanted to know what was going on, and now they knew everything.
Eventually they started asking questions- all of which were questions Tala has heard before, so it was easy to answer them. And of course, they also tried to talk her out of her plan to keep this a secret. They offered her the same logic that the Blades did, and again she had to explain in detail of her reasons for her decision. After the series of questions and answers, they remained silent again as they percolated on everything they heard. Like the Blades, the Jemane brothers had to take their time in accepting the fact that Tala was adamant about her decision and there was no changing her mind.
But while they dwelled on it, Tala did have a moment of doubt. So many people were telling her that she would make an amazing ruler and that she was missing her chance to do right by Martin and all of Tamriel, yet she rejected the notions and downplayed the praises every time. It made her finally stop and wonder if she was making a mistake. Maybe she just needed to tell the Elder Council the truth and take her place as Empress like she was supposed to from the start. Maybe asking her friends and comrades to help her hide this secret was too much, and she shouldn't burden them with her selfish choices. But the more she thought about it, the more her chest started to tighten and her stomach began to twist... almost as if her doubts were the bigger mistake. It was almost as if her gut instincts were trying to convince her that the original plan was the right decision. Eventually, the doubts faded from her mind. She knew she had to do this, regardless of everyone telling her otherwise.
Ultimately, Reynald decided to break the tension by looking at Tala and slowly asking, "So... you mean to tell me... that you went in and helped us clear out that den of ogres while carrying a child the whole time?"
Tala opened her mouth to answer, but before any words could escape her throat, Jena and Eyja immediately whipped their heads to look at her and bewilderingly scream in unison, "WHAT?"
Tala flinched at the volume of their voices for a second before she rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat. "Thank you, Reynald." She dully said. "I was really hoping these two would never find out about that."
"WHY did you even do that in the first place?" Eyja chastised. "When you left for Bruma, you promised me that you'd stick to the main road and stay out of danger! Yet you deliberately went LOOKING FOR IT?"
"I didn't deliberately look for danger. It... just happened." When Eyja silently glared at her, Tala quickly retorted, "Look, I knew that it was a great risk, but at the time I did it out of compassion to help my new friends, alright? You know just as well as I do that Guilbert and Reynald are good men, and they needed someone to help them. That's why I wanted to do one last good deed before I knew I couldn't do anything because of the baby. Besides, I wasn't alone in that endeavor, you know. They did help me in clearing out that ogre den."
"Yes, but you were preparing to do it without us... had Guilbert not stepped in and volunteered to help." Reynald rebutted.
"TALA!" Eyja roared.
Tala quickly groaned in frustration before replying, "Okay so I'm a complete fop for putting myself at risk like that, and I'll never do it again, okay?"
"I still can't believe you did that." Eyja answered while she sternly placed her hands on her hips. "Honestly, I thought you knew better."
When Tala slowly tucked her head between her shoulders like a scared animal, Guilbert quickly interjected to try and save her. "She wanted to offer her assistance when we first asked, but she rejected us. It wasn't until she was approached by someone who informed her that our father was a thief and stole something for him but never returned with the item. He overheard she and I talking about my home, so he thought he could convince Tala to find this item and bring it back. Instead of retrieving it, she came back to tell us what she heard. She felt guilty for bringing us such terrible news, and decided to make it up to us by helping reclaim our home from the ogres, as well as helping us find the missing item so we could return it to its rightful owner. Had Tala been honest and just told us about the baby, we would have understood and wouldn't have let her help us. But what's done is done, and all that matters is Tala is alive and well. But her act of kindness and selflessness is something we will never forget, and it's why I feel as if I should do something to return the kindness."
"I really do think saving us today is repayment enough." Tala kindly replied.
Guilbert nodded his head from side to side as he weighed the thought in his mind. "If you consider the debt repaid, then I suppose I shall honor it. Still, I want to be of help in anyway I can."
"Your kindness does not go unnoticed." Jena said. Her voice sounded cracked- no doubt from the strength it took not to go hysterical on Tala- but it eventually smoothed out the more she spoke. "I'm sure you'll think of some way to be of service, but for now she needs to remain under the protectful watch of the Blades. We swore to keep her safe... and we're doing just that."
Reynald looked at Jena and inquisitively blinked. "What do you mean by 'we'?"
"Jena is actually a Blade." Tala replied. "I shouldn't really be fighting right now, so she's been keeping an eye on me during this entire trip."
"You're also a Blade?" Reynald said to Jena. When the Imperial simply nodded, he added, "That's fascinating. So... are all three of you factioned with the Blades then?"
"No." Eyja said in order to speak for herself. "I started off as a housekeeper for Tala, but she sold her home in Skingrad so I'm no longer under her employ. Now I'm simply a friend who also knows her secret and wants to help in any way possible, same as you."
"I see." Reynald then looked to Tala and asked, "So now that you've entrusted Guilbert and I with your secret as well, is there anything we can offer you?"
Tala gave it some thought before she ultimately shrugged her shoulders. In all honestly, she had no idea how they could be of help right now. They were nice guys- they had great intentions- but they weren't knights, or farmers, or merchants. Other than their kindness and dignity, neither of the Jemanes had services that would be of use.
While Tala had nothing to say, Jena decided to pipe up. "Just keep her out of danger, and we'll all rest easy."
Reynald smiled as he musingly hummed in the back of his throat. "With you around, what would we do? You appear more than capable of protecting her than us."
"I wouldn't say that." Jena despairingly said as her eyes fell to the wooden floor.
"Don't let today's incident dismay you. You were at an unfair advantage. I saw you out there... you're a skilled fighter. On a level playing field, they wouldn't have stood a chance."
Jena looked back up at Reynald with a slight blush on her cheeks, to which he responded with an impish smile spreading across his face. The sight just made Tala smile and shake her head; the flirting Reynald was doing with Jena was rather amusing to her.
"If you are intending to keep your child's heritage a secret," Guilbert suddenly chimed in, "who will you say is the father? You're a well-known figure in Cyrodiil now. Eventually, word will get out of your becoming a mother."
"I know that." Tala slowly replied. "But... to be honest I haven't decided what to say yet. I'm returning to Cloud Ruler Temple to possibly choose one of my Knight Brothers. It seems more logical to pick one of them, and I have a few of them willing to assume the role if it meant protecting the Septim bloodline. But... I need to figure out which name to decide upon."
"This is just me," Jena started, "but I think Baurus might seem like the more logical choice. He's closer to your age than the other Blades and he's watched over the last two Emperors. He'd probably want to watch over Martin's heir as well."
Tala frowned at her Knight Sister. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. I don't think he wants anything to do with being a royal bodyguard anymore. I know he takes the deaths of Uriel and Martin very deeply. I saw it after we returned from the Imperial City after the attack. I saw it in him when I asked him to escort me to Skingrad. I think he still blames himself, and doesn't want to be responsible if anything happens again. I don't want to offer him the position and see if I can cause him more mental anguish."
"Then what about Steffan? He's twice you age, sure, but he was the one who brought up the suggestion of picking one of the Blades in the first place. Maybe he was subtly hinting that he wants the position."
"Like age plays a factor anyway. Martin was twice my age. But... I suppose... well... oh, I don't know."
It was then that Guilbert raised a suspicious eyebrow and said, "You seem reluctant about this."
"Well... perhaps a little." Tala carefully responded. "I love my Knight Brothers... as brothers. They're more like comrades-in-arms in my mind. I don't really feel comfortable asking any of them to play pretend husband. But they're the only other men I know, so I have no choice in the matter. I suppose I could make up a name if I had to. I... I know I'm bringing this upon myself when I choose to keep my child hidden, but I want to make the right choice. If I'm going to make this lie seem believable, I need to pick someone I know will be the right fit. But... that's hard for me to do right now... because all I can about is Martin..." She then stopped herself short as she felt herself choke up and her eyes tried to water again. Gods, she hated how emotional she could get.
"Tala, if you're not ready to pick someone, then wait." Jena consolingly said. "You have another four months to figure this out before you seek out Isa."
The muliebral Breton looked downcast to the ground. "But yet... I really should pick someone shortly. It's like Jauffre said, the sooner I decide on someone, the sooner we can ask Isa for her assistance. I need to have my story straight incase she asks any simple questions, and incase the rumors begin the spread. We need this to be convincing."
"Jauffre?" Reynald suddenly interrupted. "You're not talking about Brother Jauffre, the priest at Weynon Priory?"
Tala looked at him and nodded. "Yeah. You know him?"
"Know him? He and the other monks helped raise me when I was a boy. Brother Jauffre even taught me how to fight in order to defend myself. How is he involved in all this exactly?"
"He's the Grandmaster of the Blades." Jena replied.
Reynald's eyes grew wide and his jaw went a little slack. "I always wondered what his life was like before he became a monk." He said rather hypnotically. "He fought like a soldier, and yet he never mentioned any battles or serving in the Legion. This makes perfect sense now."
While Jena and Tala giggled a little at his reaction, Eyja simply smiled and shook her head. As the blue-haired dame turned to look at the other brother, she noticed that his focus was far away from anything in this room. It seemed weird to see him looking so serious and pensive. It made her wonder what was on his mind. Perhaps his honor was doing its best to find a way to make himself of use as her friend; in which case, Tala would have been flattered. Or was he merely absorbing all the information she told him?
In the midst of being lost in her own thoughts, the sound of the rain pounding on the roof dulled to the odd drop here and there before ultimately fading. Tala then looked to the window and noticed that the dark clouds were breaking and the slightest hint of sunlight tried it's best to peek through.
"It stopped raining." She quietly said. "I guess that means it's time to depart."
They all looked at the window to notice the same thing. Sighs and smiles of relief came from both Jena and Eyja before they decided to pack up their belongings in order to leave. Reynald started to do the same, but Guilbert remained quiet for a moment before standing up to help his brother, all the while with that serious expression written on his face. Tala sat there on the floor, trying to decide if she needed to ask him what was wrong. But once everything was packed up, she slowly stood to her feet to grab her bag and put on her cloak before following everyone down the stairs and out the door. Afterwards, Guilbert and Reynald departed from the group to head into Northern Goods and Trade while the trio of women wandered to the stables to check the rest of their belongings and tack up the horses.
And as the two women were hitching Jena's chestnut gelding to the wagon, Tala saw the twins leisurely walking out the gates with extra bags full of supplies draped around their shoulders. She waved to them briefly before walking over to bid them farewell.
"If you think of any way we can be of use, just let us know." Reynald said.
"Absolutely." Tala simply responded. She then looked at Guilbert and noticed that he merely gazed at her with a troubled frown. It was almost as if he had something on his mind, but yet he remained so eerily quiet. "I hope I haven't troubled you both with my burdens." She quietly added.
"Not at all." Reynald said, as if speaking for the both of them. "We are honored you trust us with your secret. We will take it to our graves if you want us to."
While she had been appreciative of the gesture, her eyes remained fixated on the mute brother, whom simply nodded in agreement to his twin's comment. At that moment, Tala guessed that whatever was on Guilbert's mind wouldn't be spoken to her anytime soon, so she had bid them goodbye and turned to walk back to her posse.
But she was only halfway to her horse before she heard Guilbert call out, "Tala, may I have a word with you alone for one moment?"
She quickly turned around and watched as Guilbert set his bags down beside Reynald and walked towards a tree, away from prying ears. When she had approached, his troubled frown remained... but now there was a hint of uncertainty to it, based on how he crossed his arms and shifted uncomfortably.
"What is it?" Tala cautiously asked. When his eyes focused down to the grass, she added, "If you're concerned for me, you don't have to be. And don't feel bad that I'm not asking for your help right now. I'm sure something will come up in the coming days or months."
It was then that he promptly raised his gaze to Tala and simply asked, "What kind of friend would you consider me as?"
Tala blinked for a moment before titling her head slightly to one side to show her perplexity. "What do you mean?"
"As in do you consider me a comrade-in-arms? Or would you feel comfortable enough with me to... make things convincing?"
It was then that Tala understood what Guilbert was getting at and her eyes very slowly widened. Even though she knew what he was thinking, she spoke aloud anyway. "What are you asking really?"
His eyes darted around- from the forest to the stables- for a second or two out of nervousness before he found what he wanted to say and returned his attention her surprised gaze. "I remember you telling me about your mother's motto... that she taught you of good deeds leading to good things... it was a philosophy you followed by when you selflessly helped us reclaim our home, when you should have been looking out for your own safety. Well... I would like to practice the same ideals. I want to help you keep your secret, and I know what I can offer. If... if you don't feel right in choosing one of your Knight Brothers... perhaps you'll consider me as a choice."
At first, Tala initially zeroed in on one little comment: Guilbert remembered her mentioning her mother's words. She really didn't think either one of them had paid that much attention to her little off-comment, but clearly Guilbert did. Then the notion that he wanted to assume the role of her child's surrogate father finally crept in.
"Are you certain you want to do that?" Tala slowly and quietly asked. "While I'm grateful that you would offer your name like that, I... I don't think I could do that to you. I wouldn't want you to miss your chance at finding a real wife and having children of your own... to create a legacy to inherit what your father created."
"That last part... is not possible for me." When Tala's brow furrowed in confusion, Guilbert elaborated. "I cannot have children of my own. When I was an adolescent, a mudcrab came out of nowhere at me while I was out hunting near the river with my father. It gave me a sever gash in the inner thigh that had festered... and I contracted swamp fever as well. I almost didn't survive, but by the luck of the Nine I managed to pull through. However, I was told that the combination of the infection and the high fever rendered me barren. I was angry at the fact. I felt like the Gods had cheated me of a family of my own. But I eventually learned to accept my fate. Unless I took in an orphaned child or a widowed mother, my chance to become a father was not likely. So you see... this benefits us both in some little way."
All she could give them was stunned silence. She really didn't expect him to do this. Yes, perhaps she wondered if he had affections for her, but she never would have thought that he'd just step in and offer his name like that.
What if he lets his real love slip away from him because he's remaining loyal to a lie? She thought. And what if he realizes this in a few years time and suddenly changes his mind? I can't do that to him.
"I feel like I'd be cheating you of real happiness..." Tala slowly started, preparing to tell him exactly what she was thinking.
"You wouldn't be." He quickly interjected.
She hesitated for a moment before she tried again. "But... I would be. I ask you, Guilbert... would you really be okay pretending to be married to a woman who couldn't fully give you her heart? And possibly give up someone who could? That... doesn't seem fair... especially when I know how painful it is to have affections rejected."
The blond Breton then leaned in close and put his hand gently on the side of her arm. "I know that I will never be the love you lost." He softly said. "And I wouldn't try to be. I do profess... that in some little way I am captivated by you, and wondered what it would be like to gain your affections. But I see how devoted you are to your late husband, and I will respect that. Just... let my offer be my way of performing a good deed to a friend. And if all we remain to each other is close friends, then so be it. Just let me help... please."
Her shining sapphire eyes merely stared into his hazel green ones while the thought slowly sunk in. She wanted a name to claim paternity to her child, and rather than ask it of her Knight Brothers, someone else was volunteering. "Take whatever help is offered to you. Pay attention when others seek to silence your fears." That is what Dagail told her. And, of course, her mother always told her, "Good deeds lead to good things, Tala." In doing something kind and selfless for someone, that very someone now stood there in front of her, willing to do the same. This was her chance to have someone help her in keeping this secret... but yet, she didn't want to take him up on his offer right here and now, either.
"I... think I need to contemplate this." Tala finally decided. "Let me settle into Cloud Ruler Temple first... and I will let you know of my answer within a fortnight."
Guilbert gave her the subtlest of smiles before he nodded once and then escorted her to Lily before offering to help Tala up in the saddle. "To make things easier, simply tell me 'yes' or 'no' through a letter." He said as he stepped back from the horse.
Tala simply nodded, and then flicked the reins to start walking down the road with Jena and Eyja on the wagon behind them.
They remained silent until they were out of sight of the stables, and then Eyja had to look at Jena beside her in the wagon and playfully asked, "So you are attracted to Reynald Jemane?"
Jena's cheeks turned a light shade of pink before she started stuttering, "Alright, s-so he's easy on the eyes and he's good at flattery. I doubt it will go anywhere! My life is with the Blades."
"That didn't seem to bother him." Tala commented with a half-smile as she kept pace beside the wagon.
Jena opened her mouth, but quickly closed it and remained silent for a heartbeat or two. "Nevermind me. What is it that Guilbert said to you over there?"
Tala's smile faded and her eyes shifted to the road in front of her. "He just gave me some food for thought to consider."
"Such as?" Eyja asked.
Tala kept her eyes on the road and a pensive stare on her face. "I'll tell you when we return to Cloud Ruler Temple."
