Chapter 47: Oh dear…

Arriving home, we introduced the rest of the family to Natalie and William, before deciding that Kat and Anouk would share Jacinta's room, and William and Natalie would take the spare room that would be left from that move.

"Alright, well I suppose that means that we'll have to get an actual bed for Natalie to sleep in. You two girls can keep your daybeds, but in order to make room for them in your new room, Jacinta will probably need to rearrange her belongings. Are we all alright with this decision?" Carlisle asked everyone and we all nodded. "Good." He said as Kat and Anouk went upstairs to move their daybeds from one room to another.

Three weeks later, Carlisle and I had just arrived home from the hospital, when Natalie approached us, her head bowed slightly and her hands resting on her stomach. I realised with shock that there was a small lump underneath her hands.

"What's wrong Natalie?" Carlisle asked her, looking concerned. It appeared that he'd noticed her stomach as well.

"Carlisle, Kristen, I think I might be pregnant, but it can't be William's child." She said and my breath caught in my throat. I realised that one of those three men that had violated her must've gotten her pregnant. I looked at Carlisle and he nodded once at me, his face grave.

"Are you sure it's not William's child, Natalie?" I asked her, hoping she'd made a mistake.

"I'm positive, because the last time I was involved with him in that way was about four months ago. If I was pregnant with his child, I think I would've had signs before now." She said to me and I sighed, severely disappointed.

"This will mean trouble." I said to Carlisle.

"Yes, and not just because the child will be a half-vampire." He agreed. "Natalie, you now need to make a decision, and I understand that it's not going to be an easy decision." He told Natalie, who took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Natalie, but you're going to need to make a decision about whether or not to keep the child. Carlisle and I both understand that it's a difficult decision for any mother to make." I explained softly to her and she sighed, looking down at her stomach.

Eventually she sighed and looked up at us.

"I'm sorry if the child will cause difficulties for the family, but I can't bring myself to abort the pregnancy." She said softly, tears in her eyes. I really couldn't blame her – I was still not over what had happened to me three weeks ago. Frankly, I didn't think I'd ever get through it.

"Kristen?" Carlisle's voice sounded distant. I looked up at him to see him looking concerned. "Are you alright? You were looking as though you were struggling with something. Is it...what happened three weeks ago?" he asked me softly and I sighed deeply, nodding slowly. My eyes prickled with tears that I knew would never come.

He took a deep breath, taking me into his arms and holding me close. I lay my head on his chest, just as we heard Esme approaching.

"You know that if Esme sees us we'll be in trouble." I commented and he chuckled, releasing his grip on me. I sighed softly, knowing I wasn't actually allowed to see him in this way, but I literally could not help it.

"I'm very sorry that you had to experience that, Kristen. You have no idea how sorry I am that I'd taken my eye off you." He said softly, just as Esme came around the corner.

"What's going on?" she asked us softly. In her eyes was a mixture of suspicion and concern.

"I was just remembering what had happened three weeks ago. Carlisle was comforting me." I explained and she nodded, the suspicion in her eyes disappearing as the concern increased.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Kristen. No woman should have to go through that sort of abuse, even as a vampire." She said softly.

"Thanks Esme, but just remember that I wasn't the only one to go through that. Natalie had to as well, and now we think that she may be pregnant as a result." I said and Esme looked horrified, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide.

"A-are you sure the baby isn't William's?" she asked in barely a whisper, looking directly at Carlisle.

"Unfortunately, we were hoping the same thing, but no. The last time those two were involved in that way, according to Natalie, was over four months ago." Carlisle sighed, sadness only just visible in his golden eyes.

"Kristen, I promise that we will find those bastards and bring them to justice. And if I find them, you'd better hope Carlisle is with me, or I'll burn them personally." Came a male voice as Rowan walked around the corner, looking furious as he approached me. He stopped just in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders, his expression becoming soft as he did so. "I know it's hurting you, and I also know that it'll keep hurting you. Just remember that according to the thoughts of the entire family, everyone's going to help you through it. Okay? I promise that I won't let anything else happen to you." He told me and I nodded, taking a deep breath to calm myself.

"None of us will. You know Rowan; I'm probably not going to stop you killing those three vampires. As much as I hate the idea of killing another living creature, there are some things that can't be helped. I'm probably going to be looking away, but I don't think that I'll stop you." Carlisle said and I saw the corners of Rowan's mouth turn up in a slight smile.

"But you do realise Carlisle, because they hurt Kristen, that I'll just make their deaths as slow and painful as possible before I burn them." He said and Carlisle sighed, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"I'm still not going to stop you. You might want to tell Emmett your plan though. He'll love it." Carlisle said and Rowan chuckled.

"Um Carlisle, last time I checked, vampires weren't quite living." I said and all of us started laughing.

"Well, we are breathing, are we not?" he asked.

"Yes, but none of us have heartbeats. So technically we're not actually alive, per say, but we're kind of half-alive. If that makes any sense at all." I said to him earnestly.

"Well, it doesn't make any sense to me, whatsoever." Rowan said to me, shrugging. "I'm still trying to figure out what you're going on about."

"It sort of makes sense to me. I'm at least aware of what you're talking about, but the way you said it is a bit confusing." Carlisle said.

"I'm personally still trying to figure out what you're going on about." Esme laughed.

"Don't worry about it, guys, I'm still confused about what I was going on about." I shrugged, before turning to Carlisle. "And Carlisle, I'd expect you to understand what I'm talking about, considering you are a doctor." I told him, and he smiled, shrugging.

Um could you please follow me for a second? Rowan's thoughts entered my mind and I nodded, as both Carlisle and I followed him out of the house.

"Did Rowan ask you to follow him as well, Carlisle?" I asked Carlisle softly as we walked.

"Yes." He replied, looking confused.

Rowan eventually stopped in a deserted clearing half an hour later.

"Alright, I don't think anyone will find us here." He said and Carlisle and I looked at him, confused.

"What's going on, Rowan?" I asked him softly.

"Alright guys, I don't want to offend you two, and I brought you here so that Esme wouldn't overhear us. I've noticed that you two are closer than you would be otherwise. I'm not Jasper, so I may be wrong, but I think that there's something more than friendship going on between you, even if nothing's actually happening." He said softly and Carlisle and I looked briefly at each other. I sighed, deciding that he'd better find out.

"Alright Rowan, you're right in saying that there's something more than friendship going on between Carlisle and I. We were careful to make sure that nothing actually happened between us, but around the time that Peter was bitten, we'd realised that we had feelings for each other. I'm sorry Rowan; I should've said something to you. I just wasn't sure how you would react." I explained and he sighed, smiling slightly.

"I'm not accusing you, Kristen. And Carlisle, you don't need to worry, I'm not going to tell Esme. If you wanted to tell her, you'd have to do so yourself." Rowan said and Carlisle smiled slightly, nodding at him.

"Thank you Rowan." He said softly. "I'm sorry things turned out this way, Rowan, but there are only certain things I can control."

"And obviously Carlisle, who you do or don't fall in love with is one of those things you can't control." I said and he smiled slightly, shrugging.

"I understand Carlisle, don't worry about it. Personally I'm not surprised that you fell for her. As I said before, I'm not here to accuse or anything. I just want to know." Rowan said softly and Carlisle's smile grew. Upon seeing the smile, my breathing stopped.

"Are you alright, Kristen?" Rowan asked me and I forced myself to start breathing again.

"I-I'm fine Rowan. Don't worry." I replied softly.

"Okay guys, thanks for letting me know, but if you could continue making sure that nothing happens, I would greatly appreciate it." He said softly to us and we both nodded. "Thanks. Well, I'm going to hunt. You two can make your way home, I'll assume." He added, kissing my forehead briefly, before running into the distance.

"Carlisle, I still don't know why you'd want me, when you have Esme." I told Carlisle as we began walking back towards the house. He stopped, turning towards me.

"Why is it you don't see yourself clearly? You are beautiful, Kristen." He said, placing his hands on my shoulders. I sighed deeply, avoiding looking into his eyes.

"Well, it's because when I was about fifteen, I'd fallen for a boy, but he rejected me. When I went back and spoke to my mother, however, she told me that she wasn't surprised that he'd rejected me. I hiked. Why would any boy want me, and I wasn't beautiful, according to her. My father disagreed strongly, telling me not to listen to what my mother said, but I'd believed her since. While boys tend to look up to their fathers more, girls look up to their mother, and when a girl's mother says that to her, it sticks with her for life." I explained and Carlisle sighed and pulled me against his chest.

"Your father was right when he told you not to listen to your mother, Kristen. You are beautiful. And I don't see why a boy would care if you hiked. I know it'll be difficult to forget what your mother said, but I think that you should try to. She doesn't sound like she was the nicest woman." He said softly, and I sighed, looking up. His eyes met mine and I stopped breathing, turning away.

"We – we promised Rowan that nothing would happen." I stammered as I turned away, embarrassed.

"You're right, Kristen. We've got to be more careful." He agreed as we began walking again in the direction of home.

"I just hope...that you know that I love you." I said in barely more than a whisper and he smiled.

"I know. I love you too, Kristen, but you know as well as I do, that we can't act on our love. The words will just have to be enough." He said, moving closer to me and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Regardless of how much I wish things weren't this complex." I added and the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. Removing his hand from my shoulder, he reached down and took my hand, instead. He pressed his lips to it briefly, before dropping it and looking away. I smiled, wishing it were possible to express ourselves without betraying anyone.