Chapter 51 – Magnus Actually Gets His Own Adventure
Magnus woke up with a groan, and a frown.
His feet really hurt, as did his crown.
He tried to get up, and slipped, with quite terrible timing, and….
"Oh, I should probably stop rhyming, said Magnus, not amused at the writer's method of continuing the latest epic plotline. Fine then, some people have no taste for literature. Hmmph.
Anyway, Dark Jeremy seemed nowhere in sight. Magnus looked around for weapons, but all he found was a crowbar. It had been used to pry open a box of Uranium-238 near him, but he couldn't use that. Magnus was confused. This clearly wasn't Jeremy, or at least wasn't Jeremy's normal mindset. What in the world was going on?
Meanwhile, Dark Jeremy had just been walking down a corridor when he spotted the normal Jeremy. "You!" they both said, surprised.
"My evil twin? How'd you get into the castle?" said Dark Jeremy.
"Talk about meeting yourself in a dark alley," Jeremy replied. "You're the evil guy. Where's Magnus?"
Dark Jeremy frowned. Magnus? He didn't know a Magnus, the closest name he knew to that was Malus.
"You mean Malus, the terrorist guy? I threw him into some random universe. Serves him right." Dark Jeremy grinned. Then he knocked Jeremy out, and threw him into some random universe. Fortunately for Jeremy (at the odds of approximately 400,040,397,985,647,836 to 1), he was thrown into the same universe as Magnus was.
"Wheeeeeee!" Jeremy yelled as he fell. It had been a long time since he had had fun, so he tried to make moments as happy as possible these days. He saw a bright speck of light, and it was rushing towards him. He met it and…
"Oomph!"
"Oh, that was a car…Ah boy."
Jeremy ran away.
Magnus was crestfallen. Having worked with molecules miles long, chemicals that floated in midair, and technology that would set Earth about 80 million years into the future, he didn't much like working with a crowbar, string, and a crate of radioactive material. Then again…he had an idea. Magnus found magnesium, and attached it to the string, making a makeshift fuse. He attached this to the crate, and found a match. This place used to be a science lab…for fourth graders. Though that didn't explain why a crate of uranium the size of a Companion Cube was here…but Magnus didn't care. After all, the door was made of 4-inch thick steel, and the rest was asylum-style padding. What kind of idiot designed a cell like this? Though this place looked vaguely familiar…
Lighting the match, Magnus hid behind the desk at the other end of the room. There was a massive explosion, and the door was incinerated, leaving a puddle of molten steel at the opening. Magnus made a makeshift forge, and beat the stuff into a sword. He then peeked around the corner of the door, and was shocked at what he found. The answer was…himself. His former, evil self.
Magnus stared. Malus stared back. "What the & #$?" both shouted. Covering their mouths, Malus whispered, "Who are you?" Magnus explained that they were in the middle of a massive time paradox. Malus shook his long, black hair and said "Whatever."
Magnus had forgotten how annoying he could be back in the day.
The duo traveled throughout the facility, discussing with eachother. They had agreed about three things so far. Number one was that Malus would not remember anything, as Magnus himself couldn't. Number two was that Jeremy was mentally unstable, but in a good way. Number three was that they both were doomed if they didn't get out of here and find Dark Jeremy. With this being discussed, they continued their passage through this strange prison.
Jeremy was bored. After evading strange-looking cops, writing a book on collecting the elements of the Periodic Table, and robbing a convenience store, he couldn't wait for this day to end. Opening a bag of chips, he collected the nitrogen inside for further use. Then he decided to see if Magnus's cell phone was working.
Magnus felt his phone ringing. Unfortunately, he and Malus were right behind a guard, so his cover was blown. He quickly broke the guard's neck, and ducked behind a table. He noticed a strange machine as he did so. "Hello?" Magnus asked. "Sup, dude. Where are you?" Jeremy replied. "I'm in some idiot's idea of a prison. It looks like an elementary school combined with a mental asylum. Where are you?" Magnus asked back. "I'm in the same universe, since we can call eachother. I see the building you're in, and you're gonna have a tough time getting out. I got good news and bad news." Magnus thought. "What's the good news?" he asked. "Well, I figured out the WeaponBall's composition." Magnus grinned. "That's awesome, can you send it to me?" He could hear Jeremy sighing behind the static. "Well, that's just it. It requires one atom of all 92 safe elements of the Periodic Table. I can get you the basic ones, but I'll leave the Lanthanides, Actinides, and the radioactive ones to you." Magnus grinned. "I bet I can get them faster than you." Jeremy grinned back, although Magnus couldn't see it. "You're on."
Jeremy had successfully acquired the first 83 elements, 1 hour later. It had taken him approximately 30 minutes to find a science lab, 15 minutes to break in, and 15 minutes to find and bag all the elements. Some were in vials, some were in bags, and a few were not in a container. Jeremy lugged all these in a sack, making him look very suspicious indeed.
Magnus found the more developed areas of the place, and found what seemed to be a science lab. He told Malus to look around, and went to find the rest of the elements. When he looked back, his twin was writing a paper. In it were drawings of Mew, dead in various ways. Malus, having finished, went to look for the elements Magnus had specified, and Magnus slipped the paper into his pocket. As he did so, he almost shed a tear at what he had been. It really wasn't much to look back on.
Jeremy, however, was proud of his history. He had joined a local gang, and while performing none of these acts himself, he learned how to break in, rob, arson, and graffiti. He had also learned how to use guns for the first time, and he prided himself on now being able to operate anything that had a trigger, or even a red button. He had reached the prison, and by his calculations, it was night-time in this universe. All the better, he thought to himself. Jeremy was a practiced sneak thief.
Magnus had found all the elements, but it had taken a while, as he had had to create some himself. He had reused some of the uranium he had found earlier, and was making sure he had created stable isotopes. He kicked back and drank some soda, and his younger self did the same. It would be a fun day tomorrow, he decided. A fun day indeed.
