But, let's do a head count here. Your brother, the demi-God; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; the product of a genetically modifying experiment with the hormones and the temper of a teenage girl; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
.
1995
Somewhere in the Mojave Desert.
It was utter chaos.
But, Phil Coulson knew he was winning the chaos.
Phil smiled as his men escorted the leader up.
"Colonel Stryker, lovely to see you again."
"I want to see my lawyer."
"You'll need him since you're being charged with illegal human experimentation."
Stryker didn't reply, simply sent him a thin lipped glare as he was escorted away.
"Sir, we're almost finished clearing the building."
"Alright," Coulson said, his subordinates leaving to finish.
Coulson went to leave the experimentation room when he heard a soft sound, making him pause.
He heard it again.
He followed the sound to a locked box, breaking the lock and opening it.
A baby.
She couldn't be any older than a few months.
Coulson slowly slipped her out of the box, calming her down slightly as he rocked her.
She was completely nude except for the dog tag around her neck that read;
SUBJECT 16-15-12-20-5-18-7-5-9-19-20
GERTRUDE NAOMI PARKER
BCO SUBJECT 4-5-1-4-16-15-15-12
Coulson dialed a number.
"Sir, I found her."
.
2009
Just outside of Washington DC
You'd think that losing me once would make them eternally grateful for my existence.
At fourteen, Naomi Parker would have rather been anywhere than with her family.
This is how she found herself sat at a dingy diner, waiting for the bus that was scheduled to be in twenty minutes.
She was drinking crappy coffee when the four other patrons left and the diner was empty except for her.
"You're a little young to be here on your own."
Naomi looked up to see a large man in leather.
Wearing an eye patch.
"That was literally the creepiest way you could address me."
His lip twitched and he reached into his jacket, pulling out a badge.
"Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD."
"I've heard of it," Naomi said, Fury raising an eyebrow "The internet. Although, kind of confused about why the Director is talking to me."
"Do you remember any of what happened to you when you were taken?"
Naomi swallowed and looked down.
"Not really, only what I've been told."
"What was that?"
"That I was taken from the hospital and then I was found in a meth lab… But, I don't believe that."
"You don't?" Fury asked, Naomi giving him a look "Why would your parents lie?"
"I didn't say they were the ones doing the lying. And you basically just proved my theory right. What actually happened?"
"What do you think?
"Why do you care?" Naomi asked "That's a better question. Something must have happened to make you care."
"You know what," Fury said, Naomi looking down "Can I see?"
Naomi reached out, slowly levitating the salt shaker.
She set it back down.
"What do you want? I've got a bus to catch in fifteen minutes."
"I want you to go back home."
Naomi snorted.
"Yeah, because I really want to go back to being yelled at every day of my life."
"Naomi, SHIELD is not the only people that know about you."
Naomi froze, frowning at Fury, who sighed.
"SHIELD has been keeping you safe, but we can't do that if you're running all over the country. Stay with your parents a little longer."
"And then what?" Naomi asked.
"And then you could go on with a normal life, get a job, maybe get married, and SHIELD watches from the shadows.
"Or?"
"Or the Avengers Initiative."
"I'm listening."
.
2012
"Ummm, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back
Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that
Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie?
If looks could kill you would be an uzi
You're a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang?
I wanna know how does it hang?
Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Lover
Like Prince said you're a sexy mutha-
Well-a, I like 'em real wild, b-boy style by the mile."
"NAOMI, SHUT UP; SOMEONE'S HERE," Isaac yelled, effectively shutting Naomi up.
Her parents were out for the night, and she was having some fun.
"Naomi, s-someone's here to see you!"
Naomi hopped down the stairs to see a resting bitch-face brunette.
"Naomi Parker?"
"Yes?"
"Can I speak to you privately?"
"Sure thing," Naomi said, leading her into the kitchen and sending Isaac a look as she shut the door "You're SHIELD, right?"
"My name is Maria Hill; I'm Deputy Director of SHIELD."
"Nice to meet you. So, what's up? Why the visit?" Naomi asked "Is it something to do with the Avengers?"
Maria Hill just gave her a look.
"I'm here to take you in."
"And I'm in trouble?" Naomi asked, Hill said nothing "Okay, seriously, a straight answer about what's going on would be nice."
"It's not secure here; are you coming or not?"
Naomi bit her lip.
"Let me grab something real quick and lie to my brother."
.
"This was taken from SHIELD labs," Hill said, passing Naomi a photo of a blue cube.
"That's bad?"
"Very. Seeing it was taken by a known hostile."
"Who?"
"Loki of Asgard."
"Why the fuck not?"
.
"So, why am I here?" Naomi asked as they neared where she would be spending a night in a hotel before being picked up by a Quinjet.
"We're bringing together a few of the most powerful people on the Earth; you need to make sure no one is going against the greater good."
Naomi blinked for a long moment.
"You brought me in to be a peacekeeper? Haven't you been monitoring me?"
"Not a peacekeeper; a whistleblower."
"You want me to spy on them?" Naomi asked, giving her a look.
"Even without using your powers their going to write you off as a kid. Just keep your ears open."
.
Isaac:
Where r u?
Naomi:
Friends house. Sleeping over. Shes having a tuff time.
.
The next morning, Naomi blearily boarded a Quinjet, raising an eyebrow at Captain America.
"Heard they were bringing you in," She said, plopping down in a seat and turning to the agent "What do you people got against sleeping?"
"I'm sorry, how old are you?" Captain Rogers asked, frowning.
"Seventeen. How old are you? Ninety?"
"Miss Parker has a set of abilities caused by illegal experimentation done on her as a child," The Agent said.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Captain Rogers said.
"I don't remember it. It's not nearly as bad as waking up to find all your friends and family dead."
Naomi's tone was neither cruel nor sympathetic, just straightforward.
"I am so sorry, Captain Rogers, Miss Parker also suffers from several major attitude problems and a blatant disrespect for authority," The Agent said, Naomi nodding along before she spoke.
"Miss Parker is kind of a bitch."
.
After having to suffer through Agent Coulson's fanboying, they finally landed on an aircraft carrier.
As they stepped off the Quinjet, they were greeted with the sight of a redhead woman waiting for them.
"Wonderful, more super attractive, super frightening women," Naomi said under her breath, Captain Rogers sending her a look.
"You don't have much of a filter, do you?"
"You should hear the things I don't say."
.
They'd located Loki in Germany, and Steve had come back with him, Tony Stark, and Thor.
And then Tony and Steve had a little bitchfest.
And Naomi found herself following Steve.
.
Isaac:
M&D getting antsy
Naomi:
Shes relly sad i wont b home til tomorrow
Isaac:
Tell them that
.
Steve grunted and jumped back in surprise as Naomi appeared in front of him.
"You're looking for proof that SHIELD's doing nasty shit, right?" Naomi asked, Steve nodding "You know that's a lot easier to do invisible, right?"
Naomi held out her hand in an invitation.
Steve hesitantly reached out and took it.
"Okay, I know you can still see me, but, trust me, we're invisible."
.
Isaac:
M&D r freakingout.
Naomi:
Im busy. Txt u in a min.
.
"What is Phase two?" Tony asked, before Steve plopped down the weapons he and Naomi had found.
"Phase two is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons. Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me."
"I thought I gave you a very specific mission, Parker," Fury said.
"Didn't ya hear? I've got major attitude problems and blatant disrespect for authority. It comes in handy sometimes," Naomi said, obviously somewhat pissed off by their discovery.
"Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're-."
"I'm sorry, Nick, what were you lying?" Tony asked, pointing to the screen.
"I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit," Steve said as Thor and Natasha entered the lab.
"Did you know about this?" Bruce asked Natasha.
"You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?"
"I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed," Bruce said.
"Loki's manipulating you," Natasha said.
"And you've been doing what exactly?"
"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you."
"Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy," Bruce said "I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction."
"Because of him," Fury said, pointing at Thor.
"Me?"
"Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge mass that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, out gunned."
"My people want nothing but peace with your planet."
"But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled."
"So, you wanna hold a gun to everybody's head and call it protection?" Naomi demanded.
"Parker, you're young, stay out of this."
"You brought me into this the moment you told me to I had to spy on these people."
"You told her to spy on us?" Tony demanded.
"He wanted to make sure you did your jobs and didn't find out what he didn't want you to know; that blew up in his face didn't it?" Naomi said.
"I knew you wouldn't understand; my hand was forced. We had to come up with something," Fury said.
"A nuclear deterrent, cause that always calms everything right down," Tony said sarcastically.
"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?"
"I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-."
"Wait! Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?" Tony demanded.
"I'm sorry, isn't everything?"
"Oh, for Jesus Christ," Naomi muttered.
"I thought humans were more evolved that this."
"Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?"
.
Natasha breathed hard as she tried to hide from the Hulk, before she felt a hand smack over mouth and she looked to see Naomi.
The two women were quiet before Thor jumped out and attacked the Hulk, letting them get away.
.
Isaac:
D says ur grounded when u get home.
Naomi:
Sure whatever.
.
Naomi sat in one of the empty corridors.
She hadn't even known Coulson.
So, why did she feel so…
"Coulson was the one to lead the raid on the base where you were held."
Naomi looked up in shock at Fury.
"He wouldn't put you down until you were safely in your parents' arms."
Oh.
"When he found you, he found this."
Fury held out a dog tag, letting Naomi take it.
"… What's BCO Subject mean?"
"We don't know," Fury admitted "There was a subject with that number, but the file was destroyed."
Naomi clutched it tightly in her hands.
"He always said he'd deliver it to you one day; guess he never got the chance."
.
Isaac:
Relly D pissed.
Naomi:
whatever.
.
Naomi sat there for another twenty minutes before she saw Steve walking with a purpose.
Naomi hopped up and followed him.
.
Isaac:
Is sumthing wrong?
Naomi:
Hold on.
.
"I'm coming with you."
"Naomi, you're a-."
"I swear to god, Rogers, if you say I'm a kid I'll slap you."
"… You might die."
"Protecting others is the best death I can ask for."
"… If it makes you feel any better; people used to say I had a major attitude problem."
"But, that was like, what? The forties' version of attitude problem? What'd you do? Say gosh darn it too much?"
"Romanov, find Naomi a suit before I hurt her."
.
Isaac:
Sumthing seems wrong.
Naomi:
I love you.
Isaac:
Did someone grab your phone?
Isaac:
Naomi?
Isaac:
Naomi text back yer scaring me.
Isaac:
Naomi stop it.
Isaac:
Have you seen the news?
Isaac:
Naomi?
.
The Hulk roared as they formed a circle, Naomi standing in between Steve and Natasha.
"Call it, Cap."
"Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we're gonna use containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or your turn it to ash."
"Wanna give me a lift?" Clint asked.
"Right. Better clench up, Legolas."
"Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal, slow them down. You've got the lightning, light the bastards up."
"Naomi, you've got an advantage; take down any that got civilians."
Naomi nodded, turning invisible and drawing her glass knife.
.
Isaac:
Naomi I'm really worried.
Isaac:
Just tell me if your alright.
Isaac:
Please be alright.
.
Naomi went flying out a window, landing on a car.
"You okay?" Steve asked.
"Well, I mean, other than this being the worst day of my life? Yeah, great."
.
Isaac:
I saw you on the news.
Isaac:
At least tell me if your okay.
Isaac:
Moms crying.
.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."
.
Isaac:
Please tell me your okay.
.
All was silent as they ate, Naomi trying to figure out how the hell she was going to explain this one to her parents, but too tired to have any coherent thoughts.
.
2015
So much had changed.
After the battle, Steve had personally escorted her home, and sat her shell-shocked parents down to explain.
Once she finished school, Tony had immediately offered her a job in SI's PR department, which she'd taken.
She still hadn't found out who the other subject was, but Tony was looking for her.
All this was great and all, but goddamn it Natasha.
.
"Twenty-Two, studying to become a lawyer at Harvard."
"No, Tasha."
"If I can find a date for Steve Rogers I can find a date for you," The redhead said "though, I don't know why you dumped that guy Alex.
"… Listen, there's nothing wrong with Alex, it's that he, and anybody you set me up with, will never be able to keep up with me and my lifestyle," Naomi said.
"So, I'd have better luck by setting you up with a marathon runner."
"Har har."
.
At least this never changed.
"Wait a second, no one else is going to deal with the fact Cap just said 'language?'" Tony asked.
"I know," Steve said "It just slipped out."
.
One second she's sneaking up behind a guard, another she's flying through the air and landing flat on her back.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
She heard the chatter of the others on the line, but she was too busy with (rather attractive) white haired man walking past her with a smirk.
"You didn't see that coming?"
Fucking accents!
"Oh for fucks sake; we've got an enhanced," Naomi said into the coms.
"You're not going to correct Naomi's language?" Tony asked
"He knows I'll beat his ass if he does."
.
"Together."
"We'll lose."
"Then we'll do that together, too."
.
She was very, very cold.
"Leave her alone! She's just a baby!"
A flash of light.
"Sir, no one's survived that procedure."
Hurt, HURT, HURT.
"He did."
.
Naomi finally broke the silence on the Quinjet.
"You guys remember during the Battle of New York, I said that that was the worst day of my life? I take it back. This. This is the worst day of my life."
.
So, Clint had family; pretty weird.
.
"Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere, ears everywhere else. Here we all are, back on earth, with nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard."
.
"Something dramatic, I hope."
.
"No, no. Go on. You were saying?"
And then, for seemingly no reason, the glass under Pietro's feet gave away.
"What?" Naomi said, bending down slightly with a smug smirk "You didn't see that coming?"
.
"I'm glad you like the view Romanov. It's about to get better."
.
"This is SHIELD?" Pietro asked, looking over at the blonde.
"When they're not being dicks, yeah."
.
Clint moved to go get the woman's son, before Naomi put her hand on his shoulder.
"I got it."
And she turned invisible.
.
Even though she and the boy were invisible, Ultron shot at a building before the Hulk got in his plane, causing it to collapse.
Naomi pushed the boy away, but her leg got trapped under a piece of debris.
"Run! And tell them to leave!"
Thankfully, the kid listened.
Which left Naomi stuck on a piece of land that was about to blow.
"Naomi! Where are you?" Steve called over the coms.
"Pretty stuck right now, Rogers," Naomi said, her voice coming out a pained hiss "Listen, just go."
"What? No. Not with you."
"Steve, seriously? I-."
"I'll try to lift it if you try to move out."
Naomi looked up in surprise at Pietro, whose mouth twitched.
"What, you didn't see that coming?"
.
A few weeks afterwards, Naomi was finally starting to walk without crutches and didn't need to be carried by Pietro whenever she wanted to get somewhere fast, and Tony ran into her room pale faced.
"What?"
"I found him."
.
"Wade Wilson. He volunteered for those experiments because they said they could cure him of cancer. He's now an assassin... Not the good type, either."
"Alright, but why is his number on my tag?"
Tony swallowed hard, giving Naomi a sympathetic look.
"BCO stands for Biological Child Of."
Naomi froze.
"What?"
"He's your father."
Tony sighed as Naomi disappeared.
.
Naomi felt him sit beside her.
"Tony tell you?"
"Yes," Pietro replied quietly "… How can I make you feel better?"
Naomi bit her lip, looking over at Pietro, before surging forward and kissing him.
"What? You didn't see that coming?" Naomi said, pulling back but only an inch, their faces still almost touching.
"Naomi," He murmured, stroking her hair "Printessa, You're emotional. You'll regret anything right now."
"You have an eight pack, Pietro, I'm not going to regret this."
.
When Naomi first met Pietro, she really didn't think she'd end up in this position.
.
"Pietrooo."
"Hush, Printessa, someone might hear us."
"Let 'em listen, ahhh."
.
"So, Printessa, I am at your mercy."
Naomi chuckled, looking over at Pietro.
"How so?"
"Are you going to force me out of your bed?"
"What do you want me to do, Pietro?" Naomi asked, turning on her side.
"I would like it if you kept me."
"Kept you. Like a relationship?" Naomi asked, raising an eyebrow as the normally cocky man looked away and shrugged "I'm not so good at relationships, Pietro."
Pietro's body language changed; he seemed sad.
"But, I guess I could give it a shot."
Pietro looked up in surprise.
"Really?"
"Really," Naomi said, smiling.
"Then perhaps we should go, what do Americans call it? When you go to places together."
"On a date?" Naomi asked, smiling slightly at Pietro's enthusiasm.
"Yes, a date."
"Sure, but, not tonight. I'm tired."
Pietro's body language changed again, and he smirked at her.
"Well, if you're tired, I guess I shouldn't try anything."
Naomi smirked.
"I don't know… I could be up for that."
"Oh no, Printessa, you need your rest," Pietro teased, settling down into the pillows, before grinning as Naomi moved to straddle him.
"Hey, Naomi, about Wilson-AHHH."
Naomi and Pietro sent Tony unimpressed looks, Pietro moving so that Naomi was covered by a blanket.
"Don't look so fucking shocked," Naomi said, rolling her eyes "Whatdaya want?"
"What I want is irrelevant now. I need to tell everyone this!" Tony said, before running out of the room.
"Should I stop him?" Pietro asked, before giving a groan as Naomi grinded on him.
"They were going to figure out anyway."
"Yes," Pietro said through a gasp "But, my sister would take to it better if I was the one to tell her."
Naomi froze.
"… She's going to kill me, isn't she?"
"Of course she's not going-."
"NAOMI PARKER!"
"She might kill you."
.
.
.
A/N
That was for Chocoegg333!
