Bonjour, mes chers! Let's give it up for chapter fifty! I know it's been a long year and a long story, but I feel like we're getting closer to the end, here! So, I hope you stick with me until that end is here!
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Warnings for: attempted suicide (jumping), emotional manipulation
Chapter Fifty
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"My, my, we have gotten ourselves into trouble this time." Tar. That's what it felt like. Danny had never really been able to find the proper words whenever he ran into her, so of course it made sense that he would find them when it was all like this. Of course he would find the words like this - the words that finally let him say that talking to her was like he was swallowing tar.
"You really don't want to push me today, Spectra." Days and days of not using his powers and now they all rose to his fingertips like a storm waiting to be unleashed and each shaky breath he sucked in he could feel the vestiges of power sinking into his very voice. It wouldn't take much to build it up to a wail and it would take even less to tear her and the rest of this damn world down to pieces. "Just leave."
"Now, why would I do that when you so obviously look like you need to talk to someone." Spectra pouted over at him, Danny baring his teeth in response. "Cute. I have to say, I really didn't think we were this much alike-"
"We are nothing alike." As she floated forward, Danny's breathing picked up pace and he darted for the library faster than a shot. He needed to get out of here. He needed- He didn't get very far before talons sunk into his skin and he was crashing headfirst into rock.
"Oh, but we very much are, sweet Danny." The talons dug in deeper and Danny screamed. It felt like- Fuck, god, it felt like he was dying. "I told you, didn't I? Remember?" Fuck, fuck, fuck, it hurt. It felt like his very core was being torn out of him.
"Get off me, get off me, get off of me-" The scream stopped as Spectra shoved his head down harshly, Danny trying to wiggle free at once. He was held even tighter, Spectra's laugh soft and airy and words brushing over his ear in a soft, confiding whisper.
"Remember, Danny? I told you I was in love once, too." No. "Then I told you that I killed him and then I killed myself." No. "Oh, Danny…" The talons dug into him and Danny felt like he was dying. "You're more like me than you even realize."
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Fenton, get out of here- He was stronger than Spectra. He had to be stronger than her. He could do this. Fight- Dammit. Dammit. Just fight back. He was stronger than some goddamn leech that had nothing. All his struggling, though, amounted to little more than a few spasms racking through his body.
"It's alright, Danny, you can be honest with me." Spectra's voice was sweet and kind and a mockery of everything good. "It felt kind of good to kill Andrew, didn't it? It felt good to use all that power." No- No, no, no, no, it didn't! It didn't! "Ssh, it's okay, Danny. Like I said, you can be honest with me. Remember? Remember what I said last time we met? There's a reason you feel so comfortable around killers-"
"Shut up!" A burst of power and Danny was in the air, cold surrounding him as he flew as fast as he could. It didn't get very far before raw ectoplasm was knocking him down again and stealing his breath. How the hell had Spectra ever gotten this much power?
"Oh, sweetie." Spectra's disguise rippled and twisting shadows peeked out that were as black as the tar she felt like. "You really think 'Dan' was just an accident? There's a reason he kept your name."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up." No- No. "Dan was an accident!" That was a timeline that wasn't meant to be. An aborted mistake that would never come to pass. "He was never supposed to be!"
"Wasn't he?" Another blast of energy hitting him right in his chest had Danny near biting his tongue off as he clutched at what felt like seared and burning skin. "Grow up and stop running from the truth. You're just as bad as he is-"
"I'm not! Dan was a mistake that was just born that way!" It hurt, it hurt so badly, but he couldn't- Fight. Fight back. He couldn't fall. Not here. Not until he saw Andrew. "He was doomed to it all from the start!"
"Oh, you child." This time the energy seared his back and left him choking down a sob, the pain immeasurable. Why did it hurt so badly? Ghost fights never hurt this badly. "Evil isn't born, Danny… It's made." A flash and talons were digging into his cheeks and jerking his head up, Spectra looking at him with shining eyes. "Think about it. Dan may have had Plasmius' raw power, but it was your personality and memories that drove him, wasn't it? He was driven to madness and made evil just like you've been."
"I'm not- I'm the hero." The laughter was cold and cruel and it took everything he had to not completely break down. He could do that later, but right now there was a ghost in front of him and this was a fight. "I'm the hero." The laughter stopped. "And you are nothing."
"Really, now? And here I thought we were friends." Grasping at Spectra's wrist, Danny fought to pull his power around him. Fight. That's what he did. He fought. "Open up your eyes, hero. You were made into this. Let's count the facts, shall we?"
"Burn in hell." Danny filled his hands with energy and made it as cold as possible, ice cracking and spreading over Spectra's wrist before… It broke at once. Dismayed, his eyes grew wide as Spectra only looked down at him with pity.
"I'll burn when you do, dearie. Now, where was I… Ah, yes! Our little list. Let's see, hunted for years and years by your parents, threatened and hated by the only other one of your kind who could understand you, and now tearing yourself apart for a silly little relationship with ghosts- How could you betray your entire species like that?"
What? No- No, so, okay, Andrew and Randy weren't alive anymore, but they were- They were still human! Except… Except no they weren't. No matter how one looked at them there was nothing human about those two - there hadn't been for a long time. Andrew, maybe, when the Priest didn't lurk behind his eyes, but Randy… He could never be human.
"Oh, Danny… Didn't you remember what you were taught?" That was right. When he was young and still afraid of ghosts his parents had taught him the rules. "What were the rules, Danny?"
"No keeping secrets from family."
"Mm, I think that one was broken a while ago."
"Always run away from danger."
"Now, now, that would make it hard to do your hero work, wouldn't it?"
"Never talk to strangers."
"Yet here you go coming into this world again and again to that same library."
"If you see a ghost run."
"Oh, you ran, alright. You ran right into their arms."
"Don't play in the lab."
"You died."
"Gh- Ghosts are dangerous."
"And look what you've become." Why was he playing along- Why was he talking to her? Just shut up, Fenton, shut up. "You've become the very danger your parents warned you about. Ironic, isn't it? The son of ghosts hunters becoming a ghost! Why, in fact, it might almost be poetic."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Danny could hear how ruined his voice sounded, cracked and breaking and so pained. "Why me?" Spectra had feasted off of him. She had made him into nothing. Why- Why was she still going.
"I told you, dearie. I'm here to help." A flash of strong energy spiked around them and clung to his skin like sap, Danny gasping for breath as they were jerked out of the Ghost Zone and how much power did she have? "I'm here to help give you that last little push."
"Wha-" Cutting himself off with a hiss, Danny struggled to catch his balance as Spectra let him go, his ghost form snapping away from him as he was left on shaky human legs and clutching at burning and bleeding skin. With how heavy he was breathing, it took a moment for him to realize he was standing on train tracks and oh… He knew this bridge. It was the old bridge for trains that had been shut down after the Freakshow fiasco.
"It's perfect, isn't it? It's secluded, it's out of the way, and it's uch a serene, peaceful little place." Snowflakes drifted all around them and Danny shuddered as they landed on his cheeks. They felt cold… Oh. They felt cold. Oh, no. "Look how pretty, Danny." Hands landed on his shoulders and spun him around, Danny blinking and his breath catching despite himself.
The river down below was raging and filled with cracking and breaking ice and overflowing with all the recent snow that had fallen in and melted. The river faded off into the distance with snow covered hills guiding it away towards a setting sun. Golden light touched the world and it really was one of the most beautiful things Danny had ever-
Click.
A spark that felt like a current shocked him to his core, the feeling fading to one of dread as his heart sank when he caught sight of green and silver metal wrapped around his waist. "Isn't it such a pretty belt, Danny?" The Specter Deflector. "Ooh, that's bringing back some memories, I think. It seems appropriate to use it now, don't you agree?"
"What are you doing." It wasn't a question. He already knew the answer. It didn't stop him from being unable to move, however, the hands moving back to his shoulders and pushing him forward. "Spectra-"
"I almost wished I could have died in a place as lovely as this. And look! If the jump itself doesn't kill you then the current in that river will. It's nice to have assurance, isn't it? All you need to do is suppress your powers for five minutes and that's that." The belt around his waist felt more like a noose around his neck. Why wasn't he fighting back? Why wasn't he even trying to run. "Oh, Danny…"
Danny was walked to the very edge of the tracks, a sharp gust of wind almost tugging him forward before Spectra gently braced him through it. After that, she… She stepped back? "Why are you doing this-"
"Why aren't you running away?" Spectra took another step back, her hands raised and a smile on her face. "See? You've already realized it, haven't you?"
"N-No." It was his choice. She had torn him down to nothing, but she was still giving him the choice. "No- No! I won't-!"
"Haven't you already just by not running? Danny, all you have to do is let yourself fall and that's that. It's over. All of this is finally over and you can put it behind you like a bad dream."
"No- Doing this would be running away." Danny took a step back away from the edge, hating himself for how he wanted to take a step forward right after that. "I just- I just killed, Spectra. I killed Andrew. Killing myself would be-"
"Redemption?" N… "It would be poetic, and that writer of yours is all about poetic parallels." No… That couldn't be. Right? "You'd be giving him a forever instead of the limited time you do have together."
"A forever at what cost." Everything felt- He felt unlike himself. Was the Citadel still affecting him? He had already lost so much time. He couldn't afford to lose anymore. "You're only giving me the choice so you can say you had nothing to do with my death."
"Well, yes, but it works out, doesn't it?" Spectra was back in her human disguise, smile wide and red and glasses low on her face. She looked so human. "Danny, you would be a ghost. You have all the assurance in the world and you'd be free to spend forever with those you'd love. If you die now, at this moment… Dan will never even be a possibility for you. Like I said, evil is made and you're making your own evil just by continuing to breathe."
"Oh, next you're going to tell me all Hitler needed to do was continue with art and millions would have been saved, is that it?"
"Danny. You already have blood on your hands." He could feel it. He could feel it. Danny knew, without a doubt, that if he looked down he would see red. "Anymore, and, well… You were always taking a risk by falling in love with assassins."
Danny stared at her from over his shoulder, not even bothering to have turned around when he backed away. This time he didn't back away, though. He took a step forward. He didn't recognize his own voice when he spoke. "I'd be throwing away everything."
"No, you would be gaining everything." The scenery really was beautiful. Even with the belt making him feel the cold, it still was so beautiful. The river, even in all of it's danger, looked beautiful, and Spectra was right. A fall into that and one way or another it wouldn't be this body to come back out. "I'm giving you a way out of something worse, Danny. You don't belong in this world. You can feel it, can't you, how it's pushing you away… Why do you think you run to the Ghost Zone so often?"
The words settled over him in a way that made him feel as if they were a physical weight. The burns on his chest and back seemed to numb the longer they stood in the cold, Danny staring at the scenery before him longer and longer and… "This isn't right."
"What's that, Danny? You'll have to speak up, sweetie. Or better yet, why don't you just take that last little itty bitty step-"
"This isn't right." He couldn't think right. Everything was so- It was so hard to think and it felt like with each second that passed a noose was tightening around his neck more and more.
"Of course it's right, you're about to become what you've always wanted! That's nothing more right than that!"
"No… No. I don't think I'm meant for that." His head felt like it was filled with fog and cotton, Danny staring down at the raging rivers and slowly - so slowly - taking the smallest of steps back. "Evil is made…" Dan had been made. Evil and Dan had been made, but Danny had made a promise.
"Step forward, Danny." He had made a promise. "This is atonement, remember? Atonement for killing your mate-"
"He wouldn't want this for me." Everything he had said and done was still clear in his mind, but Danny knew without a shred of doubt that Andrew would never want this for him.
"You aren't human! You aren't a ghost! You're nothing-"
"No, I'm both. That kind of makes all the difference, doesn't it?"
"They'll never forgive you- Those two will never forgive you for what you've done to Andrew! Are you really such a fool to think true love can solve all your problems!"
"True love? Come on, Spectra, I didn't know we were in a Disney movie." The fog around his head was lifting. It hurt, but oh, he had become very good at moving through the hurt. "I… They're my best friends. We'll work through this. Somehow."
"It would take lifetimes to fix this. Lifetimes that you don't have." Spectra no longer looked human. Shadows roiled within her and her eyes could never, ever be human.
"Hey, you're the one so fond of saying I have 'assurance.' If I'm meant to come back then I'll have an eternity to fix my mistakes with them. If I don't… If I don't then I'll cherish what time I have left with them."
"You really aren't going to jump." The fight seemed to drain out of Spectra, Danny finally sighing and turning around.
"Spectra, I made the truce for all ghosts. It doesn't- We don't have to be like this." Spectra had been in love too, once. "Let me help you- Let us all help you."
"You really believe you can help me?" Yes- Yes.
"Hey, I helped the Fruitloop, didn't I?" Danny held his hand out, filled with sorrow at the fact a younger Andrew had tried to do the same. He wouldn't let history repeat this time. He was filled with sorrow, but he was also filled with hope. "Come on, Spectra."
"Oh, Danny." There was still humanity in her- She could be helped! They could find another way for her to get energy, she could help the ghosts and use that psychology degree of hers for good, they could- "You really are a hero."
A hand pressed against his chest and poisonous red eyes were the last thing he saw before he was falling.
The Specter Deflector hummed around him.
