Fifty. Fifty bloody chapters I wrote for this fanfiction. Can you believe it? I can't... I try to omagine people seeing a 50chapters on-going fanfiction - they must get scared and avoid reading it...

Anyway, I wouldn't have gone so far without your support so thank you everyone! Thanks for following, favoritnig and reviewing! You make my days brighter! :D

santosedanicaa : I'm sorry for breaking your heart! But I'm an hopeless romantic which means - happy ending. Ayakou still have a chance.

Lomisstra : Ayaka n'aime pas (encore) Wakatoshi, elle l'aime bien en tant qu'ami mais elle n'est pas vraiment amoureuse - son seul et unique reste Kou. Quant à Koutarou, il a réalisé qu'il n'a jamais vraiment aimé Sachiko - donc, pour lui aussi, sa seule et unique est Ayaka. Tu as la même coupe de cheveux? Ahah! XD C'est sûr que c'est une coiffure plutôt rare mais ne t'en fais pas! Tes dessins avec Ayaka aux cheveux longs collent toujours aux 49 premiers chapitres - de plus, ses cheveux vont repousser! ;) Elle s'est coupée les cheveux pour avancer, elle l'a fait pour elle-même plutôt que Wakatoshi mais tu verras en détails dans ce chapitre! ;)

HarukasOwl : I'M SORRY I WANT THEM HAPPY AS WELL BUT THEY CAN'T BEFORE SUFFERING! See the good side: they suffer so much now that once they'll be together, there won't be anything that could tear them apart! ;) The reason of Ayaka's short hair isn't Ushijima - you'll see why in this chapter. She wants a change. Thank you for saying that last chapter was a masterpiece - I was so disappointed writing it...! But I'm glad I managed to make you feel so much~!

Lili : I think the best word to define Ayakaou'srelationship status for the moment is 'VERY complicated'! XD He hasn't talked to Fukui yet but he will just after the Spring High. Kou and Wakatoshi sure are different when it comes to approaching their feelings and expressing them.

pinkdoughnuts : Yes, her heart will always go to BOkuto~ But it makes her feel better to spend some time with Wakatoshi so~

Cinnamonroll-chan : Don't worry, Koutarou won't be depressed too long - he's Bokuto Koutarou,a fter all! He wouldn't let something like that break him, he's stronger than that! ^^

bookdragonslayer : Oh, what is pain if not the fastest way to strength? ;)

sobasicallyme : After Ayaka's suffering, it's Koutarou's turn - as you said, it serves him right. He's only got himself to blame. This chapter is a bonus because unlike all others it's not centered on Ayakou and/or Koutarou - it's only Ayaka and Ayawaka. It'll probably be the only chapter with ONLY Ayawaka - despite some more moments between them, but nothing much when they live in two different prefectures.

SoulXHunter : *singing* He had it coming, he had it coming! He only has himself to blame~! *not singing* ANyway! Yeah, Ayaka is happy or rather - she's not unhappy, y'know? Like, sure, she hasn't felt too sad spending time with Wakatoshi but mostly because there wasn't her father or family, or Koutarou to make her sad either. That's why she felt 'happy'. But it's not a fulfilling happiness. Cutting her hair is like you said - a drastic change. She wants to change and move forward, which is why she cut her hair. You'll see the details in this chapter but Wakatoshi didn't have much to do in her choice. Obsidian river - I love it. Koutarou probably thinks of her hair like that! XD He is STILL in her heart, OBVIOUSLY. You don't erase someone you've loved so much like that. The Wakatoshi 'problem' will resolve itself on his own and very smoothly - on Ayawaka side, anyway.

Katia : I prefer long hair too, and it really hurt me to cut her hair like that because HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE HER NEW HAIRSTYLES NOW?! But anyway, it'll grow back! ;)

CocoaFirefly : Bokuto is definitely biting his fingers now. And Ayaka cut her hair for herself, to change - details in the chapter. Wakatoshi didn't have much to say in it. I would never cut my hair unless I was forced to do so... I dislike short hair on me and most of my OC have long hair - I think the only one wiht short hair is Akane...


FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : SOWLMATES

CHAPTER L : Chance

"I had to get over him. For months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. I'd shed a lot of tears over him, lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter. Somehow, I had to move on. Life would be hell if I didn't shake loose from the grip he had on my heart. I most definitely didn't want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even if he'd felt like The One. Even if I'd always thought we'd end up together. Even if he still had a choke chain on my heart."

Kristan Higgins, All I Ever Wanted

"You ask everybody you know: How long does it usually take to get over it? There are many formulas. One year for every year you dated. Two years for every year you dated. It's just a matter of will power: The day you decide it's over, it's over. You never get over it."

Junot Diaz, This Is How You Lose Her

"Change is the healthiest way to survive."

Karl Lagerfeld

"Sometimes the thing you want most does not happen and sometimes the things you never expect happens, does."

Love & Other Drugs (2010), Dir. Edward Zwick

December 25th, Kanemoto flat…

Ayaka was playing the piano, nice, quiet songs that fit well with the Christmas atmosphere. Momoko wasn't here, visiting some family for the holiday. Her brothers and parents weren't awake yet, or if they were, they had remained in their respective flats instead of a family gathering. It would probably happen later anyway.

Her thoughts drifted back on last night. The Gala had been a success and even if many things had happened, the only thing that kept coming back in her mind was the dance she had shared with Koutarou just before the fireworks. She had felt so warm, so good, so right, in his arms, dancing to their music. Just thinking about it now still made her feel warm and she smiled in a lovely way.

She wondered how the boys felt – probably tired considering they had spent most of the night at the Gala. She was a little worried because she hadn't seen them off. During the fireworks, most of them disappeared and before she could find them, Coach Yamiji, the rest of the team, along with Nekoma, took the bus to drive the boys back home.

When her music piece ended, she stared at the white and black touches for a moment.

"You play very well."

Ayaka jumped on her seat and turned around, seeing Wakatoshi who was watching her from afar. He was wearing a sports outfit but his hair was still messy. It was obvious that he had listened to her playing without wanting to interrupt her.

"G-good morning… and… thank you…" She said hesitantly.

"I didn't want to interrupt you, and I like the sound of piano. It was very beautiful."

"D-did I wake you up because of the piano?" She asked, flushing in embarrassment.

Shiratorizawa Academy had gone back to Miyagi – except Wakatoshi who was spending the holiday with the Kanemoto.

"It's fine, I have slept far too long. I am surprised you have woken up so early, though. You must be tired from organizing the Gala and attending it most of the night." He continued.

"It's all right, I don't like sleeping late after a Gala, I always wake up early…" She answered hesitantly.

He stood there in silence before giving a little nod.

"Then, I'll be off," he said, already taking a step away.

"Wait! Wakatoshi!" She called, making him look back at her, "A-are you… going to run? Now? Today?"

"Yes."

"B-but… it's Christmas…" She continued hesitantly.

It seemed to confuse Wakatoshi who couldn't understand how it mattered.

"Yes. Merry Christmas." He said.

"T-that's not…" Ayaka hesitated before chuckling and standing up, "You have the right to rest once in a while. It won't hurt if you don't go running on Christmas, you know… Come on, I'll make us breakfast." She said, walking past him to go into the kitchen.

He seemed to hesitate before following her.

"I'll help you out," he said.

"T-thanks…"

Ayaka looked around, a little confused. She started opening some cupboards, the fridge, frowning lightly. Wakatoshi observed her without a word before he finally spoke up when she took out some eggs and looked at them as if they'd tell her what to do.

"You don't know how to cook."

She stiffened and flushed in embarrassment before glancing at him.

"A-ahm… M-Momoko is the one… always cooking… I never needed to learn… Do you know how to cook?" She asked.

Wakatoshi shook his head then an awkward silence fell on them. Ayaka quickly broke the silence by cheering up:

"It can't be that hard! There must be some recipe somewhere – or we'll find explanations on the phone!"

She ran past him to get her phone and after a few minutes of reading on the phone screen and discussing it with Wakatoshi, they started trying to cook breakfast. They were half-way through it, even starting to get confident, when the scent of burning food invaded the kitchen.

"AH! Turn it off! Turn it off!" Ayaka exclaimed.

Wakatoshi quickly pulled away the stove with now blackened fish while Ayaka turned off the fire. They both sighed in relief before glancing at each other. Wakatoshi smiled awkwardly while Ayaka chuckled, amused by this desperate attempt of cooking.

"I should be done soon with the miso soup," she said while he nodded, putting the burnt fish on plates.

She took the salt to add along with the last condiments, sending some into the soup before putting the two bowls down on the table. They sat in front of one another and after saying 'itadakimasu', they tried their food, tasting everything they had cooked with so much… determination.

Both of their expressions were particularly interesting and it was an almost focused silence, until it was broken by Wakatoshi's coughing after drinking some miso soup.

"It's… very salty…" He said.

"S-sorry… the fish is burnt and the rice isn't cooked completely… We can't… eat this…" Ayaka concluded, not even surprised by her culinary skills – or lack of it rather.

"…Let's get out. It's almost lunch time, I invite you in town, even if I don't know where there are any restaurants in Tokyo." Wakatoshi said, standing up.

"A-ah, t-thank you…" She answered, following his move.

They threw away the food they couldn't eat, washed the dishes then after making sure they were both wearing warm clothes, they left after leaving a message for Akio. Instead of taking the underground or bus, they decided to walk in the snow, in an awkward silence as none knew what to talk about.

"What's your favorite animal?" Ayaka suddenly asked, making the Ace blink.

"I don't know, I never thought of it." He answered calmly before glancing at her, "But yours is the owl, right?"

Ayaka's steps slowed down and she observed him with big eyes, not quite believing he knew this about her.

"Yes…" She murmured, trying to shove away the haunting thoughts of Koutarou.

She ran the few meters that separated her from Wakatoshi but almost slid on some ice. He caught her arm before she could fall and she chuckled at her own clumsiness – some ice skater she was… Then, he offered her his arm. Ayaka was surprised but took it gladly as they continued their quiet conversation to get to know each other better.

Finally, they found a little restaurant that was serving a little of everything and they ate their lunch there. Then, instead of going back to the flat, they decided to keep walking. They went into town, visited the neighborhood's Christmas Market and spent almost all afternoon walking and discussing through Tokyo. At some point, they walked past posters and Ayaka stopped.

"Do you like classical music?" Wakatoshi asked when he noticed her gaze.

"Yes… And you?"

"I do," he answered with a nod, surprising her, "My favorite compositor is Mozart."

"Mine is Tchaikovsky… But… I wouldn't have imagined you listening to any kind of music. I'm… glad we have some common points after all…" She murmured shyly, flushing lightly.

Wakatoshi blinked lightly before smiling and nodding.

"We do…"

The holidays continued calmly. Ayaka was mostly resting. Wakatoshi would run every morning and practice with the National team. Ayaka and Wakatoshi would eat lunch together, either in the flat (meals prepared by Momoko to avoid any other incident in the kitchen) or in a restaurant. They'd spend most afternoons together, reading and discussing, a quiet and rather peaceful rhythm settling in.

"Wakatoshi," Ayaka called him while they were reading on the couch, her legs swung over his casually, "Can I ask you something um… embarrassing…?" She asked.

He lifted up his gaze from his book, watching her and silently agreeing to her asking a question.

"What is… your type of girl…?" She asked, flushing and unable to look into his eyes.

Wakatoshi blinked before answering:

"I don't have a type."

Ayaka felt like hitting her head with her book. She should have known he'd answer something like that.

"There must be something you particularly look at in girls… uhm, women…? Hair, eyes…? Am I…"

Unable to finish her sentence, she looked away, fiddling nervously with her fingers while he continued staring at her with his undisturbed expression. Then, he looked away from Ayaka, thinking deeply about her question. Realizing that, once again, he was deeply thinking, no matter how confused he may be, Ayaka remained silent.

"I suppose… I like mature women. Confidence and strength are very valuable and pleasing characteristics." He answered.

That's not exactly what I wanted to know but that's better than nothing… She thought to herself before wondering whether or not she seemed mature.

He looked back at her and she forced an awkward smile.

"By the way," he suddenly spoke up, standing up and going into his room – the guest-room rather but he had been here for so long that it had become his room temporarily.

A moment later, he came back, handing an envelop to Ayaka. She blinked at him and he continued to explain:

"A late Christmas gift." He said.

She opened the envelop more out of curiosity than anything, wondering what he could have possibly offered to her. Her eyes widened and sparkled, her heart missing a beat as she stared at the two tickets for a concert – a classical music concert, the one from the poster they had looked on their Christmas walk.

"W-Wakatoshi…" She murmured, incredibly touched by the gesture.

She got up and wrapped her arms around his torso. He seemed surprised by the move but didn't move away.

"Thank you… It makes me very happy…" She murmured with a smile, "We'll go together – it's tomorrow night, right?"

He nodded with the tiniest of smile and she almost felt giddy. He didn't smile often but when he did, he was incredibly cute.

Ayaka went into her bedroom to check her evening dresses and quickly chose a black one. It would make her look mature, right? Glancing at her mirror, she observed her face closely – she had rounder eyes than most Japanese people, being half. She had freckles on her cheeks and nose. It didn't make her look very mature…

She grabbed a strand of hair, a sudden idea striking her. But she hesitated, a little bitter at the idea that had grown in her mind. She needed Ami's opinion before taking a decision. She glanced absentmindedly at her phone. She hadn't checked it in days. She turned it back on and saw a message from Bokuto.

Her heart instantly sped up happily just upon seeing his name and words. The worry she had felt from the post-Gala came back, especially when he asked if they could see each other. She started typing that she'd love to, that she had been worried about him but her fingers stopped before she could finish the message… Now that the first week of the holiday was done, most of the resting time was gone. She had many things booked in the next week before going back to school, and a trip to Miyagi to visit Wakatoshi's mother. She'd only have tomorrow to see Koutarou but… but what would Wakatoshi think if he were to learn?

Once again, she pulled at her long hair, thinking back on why she had turned on her phone to begin with…

She glanced at the Fukurodani jersey at her door. Then at the white box with lots of tiny owls at her feet. She put her phone away and knelt in front of the box, opening it. She pushed away the doodle that Koutarou had made and the post-it she had kept of his advice then, she took a picture. It had been taken by Yukie during the little party after the School Festival when all of her friends had gathered for her in the nearby park. Koutarou and Ayaka had had a terrible argument before hand and it was the night they had made up. The picture was the two of them, sitting on the edge of the fountain, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, both smiling and laughing happily. The picture had been taken without any of them noticing, she wasn't even sure Koutarou even knew about this picture at all but… it showed the magic and peace of the moment.

Ayaka couldn't help but smile sadly at the picture.

She had held onto Koutarou for so long… Of course, even before he had rejected her, she had tried to get over her feelings – they were bound to not work and everything that happened since was the proof of it. He was too… he was too confused with his own feelings, not knowing whether he liked Ayaka or the other bitch more. It only hurt Ayaka more and more.

She put the picture back in the box, along with everything else that was all about Koutarou and her.

She had Wakatoshi and even if they were just friends for now, they were slowly going into the right direction, together. It was a good sign, wasn't it? Even if they weren't in love for now, it didn't mean it wouldn't come at some point, right? What was the point of hopelessly waiting for a boy who couldn't decide?

"You have to create your own chance if you want to live a life rather than survive."

She was scared to make the wrong choice, but she had to choose before she lost Wakatoshi as well. He was her chance, she wanted to believe it. So, she'll bet on them.

She put the lid back over the box and pushed it back to its place, standing up. She had tears in her eyes but she knew she had to move on. To really get over her feelings for Koutarou – one day, she wouldn't feel so flustered around him, she won't feel so confused and she'll be able to be his friend without feeling bitter. But it started by letting go: of him, of her feelings, of everything they had had and could have…

She grabbed her phone and erased the message she had been writing. With trembling fingers, she wrote that she was too busy and couldn't see Koutarou until they'd be back to school.

Silent tears rolled down her cheek and Ayaka quickly wiped them away. She didn't need to send a message to Ami any longer. She had taken her decision.

"Ayaka?"

She turned towards Wakatoshi whose expression faltered upon seeing her crying. They both hesitated, not knowing what to say or what to do then he slowly opened his arms. Ayaka's heart clenched painfully but she ran gladly into his arms for comfort. They weren't the arms she liked, it wasn't the heartbeat she wanted to feel against her fingertips but…

"You are my chance…" She whispered against his chest.

If he heard her, he didn't acknowledge her strange sentence. He probably didn't understand anything of what was happening… but he was still here for Ayaka…

The next day, while Wakatoshi was at morning practice, she didn't stay at home to read nor did she take a walk around town. At lunch, when he exited the building, he blinked in disbelief when he saw her standing, waiting for him to go have lunch together.

Ayaka smiled at the young man who approached her, staring at her new hairstyle. Wind shook her now very short hair and she felt the cold against her neck despite her scarf. Wakatoshi's fingers brushed her hair before touching delicately her cheek – it was an accident but he kept his warm fingers against her cheek for a moment before smiling.

"I like it." He said and he had never seen Ayaka smiling so brightly to him.

That night, they went to the concert in their evening outfits, glad to have something to talk about that was a common point other than volleyball. Two days later, they went with Akio and Agnes in Miyagi Prefecture to meet and spend the last days of the Christmas holiday with Wakatoshi's overjoyed family. For once, the shrine Ayaka went to for the New Year wasn't one from Tokyo, but one lost in Miyagi where there were barely people at all compared to Tokyo's usual crowd.

She prayed alongside Wakatoshi before they went to pick their umikuji.

"What do you have, Wakatoshi?" She asked with a smile.

"…Small Blessing…" He answered, sounding somewhat disappointed.

She could tell he had hoped for a better omikuji with the Spring-High so soon. She opened her own omikuji and blinked.

"Future Blessing?" She read out-loud.

She had never had this one before. As long as it was a blessing and not a curse (the two times she had received curses it was when she had injured herself ice-skating and when Masaru had become the 'Kanemoto Ruin'…)

She glanced hesitantly at Wakatoshi who was reading the little paper. Perhaps 'Future Blessing' was the sign that she was making the right choice?

"Wakatoshi," she called, making him glance at her, "I really enjoyed these holidays with you!" She exclaimed with a smile, her heart clenching lightly because… it meant it was over, it meant she'd have to go back to school… and she'd have to make sure to let go of Koutarou, once and for all.


Even at the other side of the country, Ayakou is strong enough to get the same omikuji!

Anyway, next chapter will start the Spring High arc (I'll go very quick on it becaue, ugh, we know volleyball, don't we?)

NEXT CHAPTER : TRUST (ah, do I love team building)

Yours Truly,

May