Kaz

Inej's parents rose from the couch. "Inej, come sleep with us." Her father said, glaring at Kaz. he just looked back, neither glaring nor glancing away. He had to convince him that he was not the enemy.

Inej looked at him. Kaz met her eyes, saying nothing. She could make her own decision.

"I'm staying here, with my friends." She said, quietly but firmly. Her mother glared at Kaz. Marya turned the lights off and left. There was just enough room on the couch for them to lie side by side, shoulders touching. He felt the water beginning to rise, and shoved it back down. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I'm used to it, Inej."

Inej pushed herself on her elbow. "That's not an excuse. They could at least give you the benefit of the doubt."

"It's okay." He was used to being treated like what he was. Barrel trash. He wouldn't expect them to think differently of him. Besides, they had a point. Their daughter was much too good for him.

She sighed, and laid back down, head on Kaz's chest. "Are you all right with this?" He nodded. Kaz gazed at the ceiling, idly stroking her hair with a gloved hand. He could tell from the change in her breathing that she had fallen asleep.

"I love you." Kaz whispered. He had told her. He had told her everything. The words had felt impossible to get out, but he had managed. Kaz thought of the blatant disapproval in her parents eyes. He knew Inej would be heartbroken if forced to choose between them. He'd never ask that of her, partly because he had no right, partly because he was well aware of who she'd choose. But her parents might. He had to make things right, somehow. For her. Had to convince them he cared about their daughter.

Marya had given him some kind of medicine, and his head was clearer, the ache lesser. Kaz fell asleep.

He was sitting at his old kitchen table, Jordie across from him. He leaned back, closing his eyes. "This is a dream."

"Yep."

Kaz's flew open, and he almost fell off the chair. "What did you just say?"

Dream Jordie was smiling faintly at him. "This is a dream."

"You don't say."

"No need to be sarcastic." Even after eight years, the mild rebuke still stung. Kaz shook it off, allowing some of his anger at his brother to surface.

"You're an asshole."

"I suppose I am, yes."

"Suppose?" He snarled.

"I'm sorry, Kaz."

"This is a dream. You're not really saying that." Ghezen, how he wished it wasn't a dream. If only to yell at his brother again.

"It's not your fault."

"You're not saying that, either."

"No. But you know it's true. She knows, too."

"Inej?"

"Yes. You should listen to her. She's quite reasonable. It's not your fault."

"I need to beat Rollins." He was done with this line of conversation, even if it was with his own mind.

"I know. You're going to anyway, even if I tell you that you don't owe me that. You don't owe me any of this, little brother."

Kaz chose to ignore that statement. "You're my head. Got any bright ideas?"

Dream Jordie looked thoughtful. "Yes. But you're not going to like it."

"Tell me."

Dream Jordie told him. He didn't like it.

He woke up in the dark, Inej's head on his chest. "Kaz?" She whispered. "Are you okay?"

He evened out his breathing. "Yes."

"Nightmare?"

"Not...not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't...I don't know." Every other dream he'd had with Jordie had been bad. And while this hadn't exactly been pleasant, it didn't have him waking up gasping either.

"Jordie?"

"Yes."

"What did he have to say?"

Kaz sighed quietly. "Apparently it's not my fault."

"It's not. He's right." She moved slightly closer.

"He also gave me an idea."

"And?"

"You're not going to like it."

"Why?"

"Because it involves the sewers, and giving myself up and letting Rollins torture me?"

Dead silence. Then "No."

"Inej-"

"No."

"Just listen-"

"No."

"It's not-"

Inej buried her face in his shoulder. "No."

"Will you please just-"

"No. That is a stupid, stupid, plan."

"I haven't even explained it yet!" It scared him a little, the power she had over him without even raising her voice.

"I've heard enough."

"I've said maybe three words!"

"Kaz, you can barely walk up the stairs. You can't stand up to torture. You. Will. Die. And the sewers? Just how hard did you hit your head?"

"Can I at least explain my plan to you?"

"You have one minute."

"To fight, we'll need more supplies that we have here. But the streets will be crawling with gang members. We go to one of the Dregs supply houses in the Barrel through the sewers, get what we need. Then, I let Rollins' men capture me, so I can keep the doors open. I can't pick the locks, they're something new I haven't seen before." It was a blow to his pride to admit that, but true.

"On the off chance we get all the guards, what about the hundreds of rival gang members outside?"

"This is a gang war. Which means, once we kill their general, we're in charge. And guess who their general is?"

A small intake of breath. "Rollins."

"Right on."

"I don't like it. What if we all drown? The sewers aren't exactly safe. What if he kills you before we get to you? What if you can't keep the doors open?"

"Then we're screwed. But I don't see another way out of this. The sewers will be fine, as long as there isn't a flood while we're down there. And I have a feeling he'll want to take his sweet time killing me. He wants the bank account numbers, remember."

"That's really not comforting, Kaz."

"Believe me, I know."

"Why do you have to do this?"

"He'll probably just kill any of you straight out."

Inej shifted, and Kaz felt the water rise slightly. What if Rollins somehow found that weakness? He really didn't want to think about what someone could do if they knew about it and had the intention to hurt him. He knew Inej and Marli wouldn't hurt him that way, but if Rollins decided to exploit it, he would be helpless.

Inej apparently had had the same thought. "What if he finds...that?"

"That?"

"I don't know what else to call it."

"How about hell?"

"Be serious."

"Oh, I am."

"Well?"

"I'll probably go insane before he has the chance to get the bank account numbers from me." Kaz said, matter of fact. It was true, he most likely would. Inej shivered. They were silent for a moment. "So?"

"We'll talk to the others in the morning. Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"When this is over, I'm not staying long. Just though you could use the head up."

Kaz sighed. He had been expecting this. "I know. Where will you go first?"

"Ravka. I need to drop off my parents, see my family."

"What's Ravka like?"

Inej looked at him, her expression surprised. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious." He wanted to know what the place Inej had come from was like. He had never left Kerch, except for the Ice Court job.

"It depends where you are." She said slowly. "Os Kervo is nice, lots of open aired markets, things to look at. I've always lied the Sikurzoi mountains the best, though. There was a place near a large lake that my people always used as a rest stop, and in the evening, before the sun would set behind the mountains, the water would look like gold." He could hear the love and homesickness in her voice. "The mountains were beautiful just before dawn, as well. The peaks would seem blue and purple. There are whole fields of grass, just grass, stretching off into the distance. Huge forests. Farther North, there are ice fields, and streams so cold they hurt your throat. You should come with me someday." Inej said, turning to him.

"Maybe. Someday." Ravka seemed so different from Ketterdam, with its dark, crowded streets and perpetually smoggy weather. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. What Kaz wouldn't give to be free of the ghosts that haunted him. But he knew Ketterdam, felt at home in its dark and twisted streets. He belonged here. He hated and loved this city. "What are the Suli like?"

"Why the sudden interest in my heritage?"

Because I want to understand why I need to let you go. "No reason."

"The Suli are tight, close knit. We have to be, there are so few of us. Most of us make a living as circus performers, or other traveling trades. We never stay in the same place for very long. Everywhere is home, as long as we are together."

"Do you have other family?"

"My cousins, uncles, and aunts. No brothers or sisters." He'd figured, he'd heard her talk about her past a few times, and never heard of any siblings. He couldn't believe he'd never asked before, though. This was probably the longest he had ever talked with her about her.

"What time is it?"

"Probably about two bells."

"Goodnight, Inej." Kaz fervently wished dawn would never come.

"Goodnight, Kaz."