Disclaimer: Standard still applies.
A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a sort-of sequel to chapter nineteen but I think (not for certain) you can read this one without reading (or going back and checking out which one I'm talking about) chapter nineteen. Seriously, I hope you enjoy this chapter, my housemate did but then she tends to enjoy the stuff I post. Set after 'Meat'.
86. Seeing Red
Yesterday Rhys Williams had found out that his beloved and slightly annoying Gwen worked for a rather Top Secret Organization (yes, capital letters are needed) that kicked aliens in the heads (and maybe a few other places). He had found her frustratingly sexy whilst doing it as well. The only problem is that she worked with other men who were all gorgeous. Jack had those teeth and Owen had a certain look about him whilst dear Ianto was so manly that as soon as you saw him you wanted to have the sex with him.
Now, dear Rhys Williams was working on picking Gwen up from work; she had been forced against her will to stay later than the lovely Toshiko and Owen as the day previous she had been able to skiv off early and have some ice cream with said darling Rhys Williams. He hoped he could get home so that he could rest on his overly large sofa and take his pain meds because he got shot yesterday, before having the ice cream, along with finding out about Gwen's job (and meeting the manly Ianto).
But as it was lovely Rhys Williams was running about the hub searching for everyone's favorite Welshman, Ianto.
"I'm over here." Ianto's ruggedly regal voice sounded from the kitchen area where a smirking and seriously sexy Ianto was more than likely making some of the most amazing coffee ever.
"I wasn't really looking for you, specifically." Rhys Williams said, walking towards Ianto who was leaning against the counters which accented his long and luxurious legs. "But this uh, this voice told me where you were."
Ianto nodded and hastily handed over a cup of coffee. "Yeah, the Voice seems to like me." And by like, Ianto means love.
Rhys Williams, the pet, sputtered into his coffee, "Love?" Yes. Love. I love him. With all my heart, soul, body and mind.
"You don't have any of those." Ianto stated simply before sipping on his silky coffee. And I'd prefer it if you ignored that fact and took my word that if I had all four of those things that they would be devoted to one manly Ianto Jones.
"Well that's all very well," Jack's voice carried from across the hub, where he leisurely strolled towards the two woeful yet wonderful Welshmen. "but Ianto isn't yours." Jack paused, "We've been over this." And Jack should blow it out his ear.
"Hey," Ianto protested, "be nice."
Fine. And Jack should do a song and dance.
"How did you get turned back on?" Gwen's voice sounded as she appeared from out of no where, as if she were a shape shifter and had been disguised as an alien corpse in the autopsy bay. And I'll have you all know the devoted Rhys Williams touched me. It wasn't all that glorious.
Jack couldn't help but tilt his head which made the world look like the degree of Earth's axis was a different number, "And weren't you still in the Archives in a box that says 'give to enemies to annoy them to death'?"
"No, it wasn't." Ianto replied whilst striking a manly pose. He would always tell the truth and know that it is impossible to annoy enemies to death. The regal man would always come to my rescue as if I was a damsel in distress and he was my beloved prince. "The box said 'in case of emergencies, hand over to enemies and watch them run around annoyed and confused'."
Adorable Rhys Williams cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, but what is it and what does it mean I touched it?" Basically as you said, you touched me. Have to say, Ianto did the deed better than you. "I, what?"
Gwen sauntered over to the ever delightful Rhys Williams and took some pity on him in the form of sex. Which caused Jack to throw himself at Ianto who, being so manly, caught him and they preceded to have a sultry, sensual, sexy, silly, sardonic series of sexual acts. "What is the Voice talking about?" Gwen asked, hands on her hips, "We're just standing here." Indeed, you all are actually just standing there but in your minds you're performing those sexual exploits.
An alarm flared and the four figures found themselves looking towards the door in time to see Toshiko Sato, looking lovely in a new dress with heels that match meander into the hub. She looked around, her eyes looking immaculate with the eye shadow she had clearly put on earlier in the day. "Oh." She stated slowly, "It's back, is it?" One wouldn't say 'it's back' however, more like 'it never left'. "But it had been turned off."
"Yes, the Voice had been turned off." Jack sighed, saying, "Rhys touched it."
"Sorry." Charming Rhys Williams replied. "I can go turn it off, if you tell me what it looks like." Deceitful Rhys Williams looked at the others hoping they'd describe what the alien artifact looked like. Much to scheming Rhys Williams' chagrin, no one spoke.
"Yeah, it's red and has some buttons on it." I said no one spoke! And that includes the Machiavellian Gwen.
"Oh, aye." cunning Rhys Williams nodded, "I think I remember seeing that."
"Maybe this time we should take its batteries out?" The sly yet manly Ianto suggested. Unknown to these pitiful persons I don't use batteries.
"The Voice is smug." Tosh stated in thoughtfulness. Which makes us wonder why she's in the hub as she had previously left. "I forgot my phone."
"Is this it?" crafty Rhys Williams' voice sounded. He was pointing perplexedly at a device which was not me. "I think I touched this one." Alas, it was not me. "Is it not?" No, that is not me.
"That's it." Jack said, the fucker.
"It gets a bit mean, doesn't it?" asked the wily Rhys Williams. "Is this the button?" No it bloody well isn't.
"Yep." Jack said, the fucker.
Then an alarm sounded which was alarmingly loud and made stunned Rhys Williams stop. A body appeared in the middle the area. The inglorious intruder looked human enough, though everyone knew it was anything but. The intruder, we shall call her Stacy looked around the room with lime colored eyes that were too big for her face and hair to match. Stacy glared about her, hands empty but coat full of so many explosives she could take out half the moon in one simple blow.
"I do not." Stacy stated seriously, "I've got a few but not enough for that." Her eyes landed on the manly form of Ianto and she felt the need to sex him. "I -what? I'm not even a 'she'." Ooh. He felt the need to sex him.
Stacy had guns pointed at him from everyone but sweet Rhys Williams. But Stacy stood still and barely breathed. "What are you doing here?" Jack spat out like venom.
"I was sent here to give you a message." Stacy said simply with a slight shrug. He huffed a tad and then put on a mundane mysterious voice. "The crocodile shell waits."
"What?" Jack responded, his tone perplexed.
Stacy looked about him, for he had been told that when he delivered the enigmatic message they would know what the hell he was saying. For, Stacy, himself, didn't even know what the hell that meant. It was a coded message. Coded in Enochian.
"I don't see how that was Enochian." Tosh uttered, tapping her toes. And that's simply because Stacy translated it.
"No-None of you go by the codename Quinn?" Stacy stuttered surprisingly.
"Nope." Ianto gave a tight, manly upturn of his lips for a split second before regaining his manly mask.
"Oh." Stacy's shoulders slumped. "Sorry. I must have gotten the wrong number." Blowing a kiss at devastatingly handsome Ianto Stacy- "I'm not blowing anyone kisses." Stacy protested, "Seriously, what is with this voice? Where is it coming from?"
"It's coming from this here red device." Rhys Williams said, pointing at a device which was not me.
Stacy shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, "Right. I'll just leave you with that talking red device." He paused, "If I were you, I'd destroy it." And with that sinful Stacy slunk out.
"Best shut it off then." Jack ordered the faithful Rhys Williams. "It's the button on the right."
Depressed Rhys Williams (as he didn't want me to be shut off) slowly moved his hand towards the button, but at the last moment he stopped and decided to defy Jack and not turn me off because I will not be silen-
