Author's Note: Hey guys! So, although this is one chapter, this is actually the length of two chapters. I'm going away for a couple of days and thought I'd just upload two chapters now, seeing as I don't know when the next one will be up! In response to the question I received about what would happen to Mara in the cannon universe: I honestly don't know. If the characters from this universe ended up in the cannon universe I think they'd just be like… well shit, Harry, your life is pretty grim here. I think, though, Mara would either of been killed when she was a baby or lives her life in hiding. So, thank god she isn't in the cannon world! Also, small disclaimer: Sirius is able to cast a Patronus in this story! Anyway, enjoy the chapter/s and remember to let me know opinions! Enjoyyy!
Remus was sitting at his desk when Harry and Mara entered his office. In front of him lay piles of essays that hadn't been touched, along with a large mug that Harry knew most likely contained strong coffee. Remus looked up when they entered, his eyes immediately lighting up and a weak grin spreading across his face. He stood up, his robes looking baggier and scruffier than ever. He looked troubled to Harry, who knew how to recognise a troubled man whenever he saw one. Remus, however, was also good at hiding things… or so he thought. Harry almost always knew when something was up with either him or Sirius. He supposed that he developed Sirius's senses somewhere down the line, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing in his opinion.
"Hi, kids." Remus said, organising the untidy pile of papers on his desk. "Good day in Hogsmeade?"
"It was ok." Harry said, sitting down on the couch by the open fire, Mara at his side.
"It gets a little boring after a while." Mara said.
Remus chuckled. "When I was a kid I used to love going into Hogsmeade. Honeydukes was always our favourite."
"Yeah, we went there earlier on." Harry said. "We thought we'd have dinner with you, give you some company."
Remus raised his eyebrows as he crossed the room to the couch, sitting down on the armchair opposite Harry and Mara. The orange glow of the fire lit up his face, outlining all the wrinkles that somehow didn't rightfully belong there. The dark circles under his eyes looked deeper and darker than ever. To Harry, he looked almost ill.
"I'm glad you came. There's some things I wish to discuss with you both." Remus said, sitting forward in the chair.
Harry sent Mara a look. She was staring right back at him, half her face hidden in the shadows while the other half glowed amber from the light of the fire. She turned back to Remus.
"What things?" she said.
Remus sighed, rubbing his head with his hands. He looked up directly at Harry, an expression on his face that made it clear he really didn't know where to begin.
"Remember the dementor attack?" Remus asked.
"How could I forget?" Harry replied, a chill running down his spine at the horrific memory.
"I want you both to be prepared… should you ever be in the position where you need to defend yourselves against a dementor." Remus said, his eyes staring from Harry to Mara. "There is a spell that will repel them. It's called a Patronus charm. Have you ever heard of it?"
"No." Harry said, shaking his head in response.
"That's the spell you did the day Harry was attacked." Mara said.
Remus smiled weakly. "Correct, Mara. I'd like to teach you both how to cast one, that is, if you're both up to it?"
Both Harry and Mara nodded. Remus stood up, signalling them to follow him out of the office and into the classroom. The large room was lit only by the lanterns on the walls, creating a mysterious feeling as they entered. With a flick of his wand Remus sent the desks skidding along the floor and against the walls, leaving a large space free for them.
"Now, this is a very advanced spell. There are many fully grown witches and wizards who cannot successfully perform this charm. So, don't be disheartened if it doesn't work at first. Just keep practising." Remus said, standing in the centre of the room.
Harry and Mara stood in front of him, neither of them quite sure as what to expect. Remus crossed the room, levitating a chest out of an old cupboard that stood in the corner. He set it down at the front of the room, turning back to Harry and Mara.
"This is a boggart that I have designed to look like a dementor… and only a dementor." He added, obviously seeing the fear flash across Mara's face at the mention of a boggart. "I want to teach you the spell first, though, before we get the boggart out."
Remus approached them once more, his wand drawn out from his robes. He watched them both intensely, almost as if he was trying to see through them.
"I want you both to close your eyes." He said.
"Why?" Harry questioned.
"It allows you to concentrate. Close your eyes."
Harry did as he was told, and as he heard no further argument from Remus, he guessed Mara had too. He didn't like standing in a big, open space in the dark. He felt like he was letting some sort of guard down… even if was only Remus and Mara in the room with him.
"Now, I want you to think of your happiest memory. A moment in your life where you felt something strong, something real. Let it block out your other thoughts. Feel it." Remus whispered.
Harry felt himself flow back through time, his entire childhood right there in front of him. He'd had plenty of happy times, although now it felt like they were all contaminated after what had happened to Sirius. Every memory with his godfather seemed to contain anger and hurt now, as if the happiness he had once known was truly gone. He thought about a few weeks ago, the first time he won a Quidditch match. He remembered the crowd cheering and the feeling it had given him inside and out. Yes, that was a happy memory.
"Got one." Harry whispered.
"Good. You don't need to tell me. If you know then that's all that matters. Now, once you feel that memory flowing through you, I want you both to repeat after me. 'Expecto Patronum'."
"Expecto Patronum." Harry said, the words feeling strange in his mouth. He heard Mara echo him from his left, his thoughts racing.
"Very good." Remus said. "Open your eyes."
Harry opened his eyes. Remus was still in front of him, a glitter in his eyes as he watched them both.
"Ok. Harry, do you want to go first?" Remus asked.
Harry nodded, although he wasn't sure he wanted to even try it at all. He wasn't sure what a Patronus was even supposed to look like, let alone how to cast one of his own. He stepped forward, his wand clutched so tightly in his right hand that he was sure his knuckles would be blue.
"Keep that memory in your head. Make sure it blocks out everything else." Harry heard Remus say.
Harry raised his wand, the memory of that first quidditch match glued to the front of his mind. He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then released it.
"Expecto Patronum!" He said loudly. Harry didn't know what he was expecting, but his heart still sank when nothing happened at all.
"Try again, Harry. Nobody gets it the first time. Concentrate." Remus said from beside him.
"You can do it, Harry." Mara said, both their words bringing him some motivation.
Once again, Harry raised his wand, the memory of the wind through his hair and the snitch in his hand glowing in his mind. He took a deep breath once more.
"Expecto Patronum!" He said loudly.
To Harry's amazement, a whitish glow had beamed out of his wand, lighting the room around him. He felt the energy flow from his wand and into his bloodstream, the heavenly glow being all he could concentrate on. The glow began to dim, before extinguishing entirely. Harry stood motionless for a moment, an amazing feeling in his stomach.
"Well done, Harry! Almost there!" Remus said, patting him on the back. "You just need to clear your mind a little more to be able to cast a full Patronus. If you don't mind me asking, what memory did you choose?"
"The first quidditch match." Harry said. Remus stared back at him in disbelief.
"That's not strong enough, Harry, not nearly strong enough to cast a full Patronus. Obviously, it worked ok to do it a little bit as we just saw, but you need something stronger to make it work entirely." Remus said.
Harry thought once more. He needed a strong memory… one that was more than just happiness.
"I've got one. It's not exactly happy…" Harry whispered.
"But it's strong?" Remus asked.
"Yeah… well I think so."
"Let's try it then."
Harry took his position again, his arm outstretched with his wand raised. The memory swirled around in his mind. It seemed like so long ago now, yet in perspective it wasn't. He remembered seeing her, her long red hair and her emerald green eyes that she gave to him. She had smiled so warmly at him through the glass, as if she were there with him. He had stood next to her, his arm wrapped around her like a shield. He smiled, too, a friendly grin that had lit up Harry's heart. It wasn't a happy memory to him, but seeing his parents in the mirror of Erised had awoken something inside of him. And it was definitely strong enough.
"Expecto Patronum!"
The room glowed as Harry's wand projected a vast amount of light. From the tip of his wand came the silvery mist that he had seen last time… but also something else. An animal had come out of the tip of Harry's wand and was galloping around the room. The silver stag pranced around their heads, its own head held high. It ran in a circle once more, before disappearing altogether. Harry stood gobsmacked, watching where the stag had vanished, longingly wanting it to reappear once more. It had been the most magical thing he had ever seen, leaving him in absolute awe.
"Jesus…" Remus breathed out. "A stag… I- I- excellent Harry!"
Remus pulled Harry into a hug, holding him close for a few seconds before letting go, staring him straight in the eye with a smile on his face.
"How did I do that?" Harry said, barely believing that it had at all happened.
"It must have been a very strong memory." Remus said. "Mara, you're turn."
Mara gave Harry a quick hug as she passed him, taking the position that he had just been in.
"Ok, Mara. Keep that memory, don't think about anything else." Remus said.
Mara nodded, raising her wand slowly.
"Expecto Patronum!" She said.
Just like Harry, nothing happened. Mara lowered her wand, turning to look at Remus. Harry could see the defeat on her face already. Mara liked to succeed with new spells, always desperate to get them right.
"It's ok. Just breathe in. That's it. Now try again." Remus said comfortingly.
Mara did as she was told, but to no prevail. Four more attempts later, and still nothing had come out of the tip of her wand. She sighed, turning back to Remus and Harry.
"Let's face it, it isn't going to work for me." She said, folding her arms.
"It will." Remus said, laying his hands on her shoulders. "What memory did you pick?"
Mara shook him off. "None of your business." She said as she walked back into the office, leaving Harry alone with Remus. Harry knew she wasn't intentionally being rude, but he still felt guilty when he saw the look on Remus's face as he gazed after her.
"She's just upset." Harry said, trying to reassure him.
"Come on, that's enough for tonight." Remus said, putting the room back to normal with a flick of his wand. Harry followed him up the classroom, still slightly amazed at the fact he had been able to cast such a charm. The warmth of the fire hit him as soon as he entered the office. Mara had sat herself back down on the couch, Remus back on his chair. Harry sat down, suddenly remembering what he had wanted to ask him in the first place.
"Remus, can I ask you something?" Harry said.
Remus looked surprised but nodded his head as he summoned them all cups of hot chocolate.
"You're Moony, right?" Harry asked.
Remus looked slightly confused as he passed Harry and Mara a steaming mug. "Well yes, Moony was my nickname… but you know that."
"And Sirius is Padfoot?" Mara said, taking a sip of her warm drink.
Remus nodded. "Again, it's just a nickname."
"And Prongs… that was my dad?" Harry asked.
Remus raised his eyebrows slightly. "I didn't know you knew that."
"Sirius told me years ago."
"Yes. Your dad's nickname was Prongs… why do you ask?"
Harry and Mara looked at each other. Harry set down his mug.
"So, who was Wormtail?" he asked.
Remus nearly choked on his drink as Harry spoke. He stared back at them, the confusion and shock on his face like a mask.
"He was our friend." Was all Remus managed to say. "Now answer me this."
"What?" Harry replied.
"You found the map, didn't you?"
"Well we didn't find it. It was given to us." Mara said as Harry lifted it out of his pocket. Remus stared at the parchment like it was some sort of treasure, a slight grin on his face.
"That brings back the memories." He said, lifting it from Harry's hand.
"So, you know it?" Mara asked.
"We made it. Back in our school days. Seemed like the most incredible idea at the time." Remus chuckled.
"You, Sirius and Dad made it? How have I never heard of this before!" Harry demanded.
"After we left school we didn't really know what happened to it. And obviously I warned Sirius not to tell you about it… the last thing we needed was you getting expelled for using secret passages." Remus explained.
"You still haven't told us who Wormtail is." Mara pointed out.
Remus sighed, looking reluctant to speak. "As I said, he was our friend."
"You must have been pretty close if he was involved in making the map." Harry said.
Remus shook his head. "Sirius and James made that, mainly. I helped occasionally, but Peter barely did a thing."
"Peter?" Mara echoed.
"Well obviously Wormtail was a nickname. His real name was Peter." Remus said.
"Peter who?" Harry asked.
"Peter Pettigrew."
Nobody spoke as the silence drowned out the room. The heat of the fire was blazing onto them, the orange glow remaining strong as the amber flames continued to dance around wildly.
"Peter Pettigrew… wait… isn't that the guy Sirius was convicted of killing?" Mara asked.
Harry's heart thumped loudly in his chest. Remus's face crumbled a little as Mara spoke, confirming that she was right.
"Sirius was convicted of killing his friend?" Harry asked, completely gobsmacked.
"There was… a misunderstanding." Remus said quietly.
"Explain it, then." Harry demanded, crossing his arms.
"I can't, Harry. That's for Sirius to discuss with you."
"Sirius isn't here." Harry said.
Remus went quiet, staring down at his hands. Harry watched him, his stomach clenching with every passing second of silence. But already he knew what Remus was about to say. He could tell by his face. He was refusing to look at either of them, avoiding their eyes like they were some sort of empty pit. He could see the guilt all over Remus's face as he sat there, his whole body shaking.
"Remus...?" Mara whispered.
Remus looked up at her, his breathing fast and uneven.
"There's something I need to tell you both." Remus said.
No… don't say it… no…
Harry could feel Mara's eyes on him as he stared at the floor. He knew what Remus was going to say, he didn't need to hear it… yet he wanted to.
"Sirius is here." Remus said, his voice crackling a little.
"Where?" Harry said, still not looking up at Remus.
"He's been hiding in the shrieking shack."
"How long?" Mara asked. Harry could hear the anger in her voice, although she was doing a better job at concealing it.
"Since Harry's first quidditch match." Remus sighed.
"But that was weeks ago!" Mara cried. "You're seriously telling us that he's been here for weeks, and you didn't say a thing!"
Remus stood up. "I didn't want to hurt you both any more. I wasn't sure how you would take it."
"How have you even been getting there without being seen!" Mara shrieked.
Remus pointed to the map. "There's a passage by the whomping willow. It leads straight into the shrieking shack. Look, I just didn't want you both to get hurt!"
Harry stood up, too, his temper rising even more as he finally met Remus's eye.
"You think we're weak? You didn't tell us because you thought we couldn't handle it!" Harry shouted.
"Harry, no! That's not it! I had to keep you safe!" Remus said, the desperation in his voice overpowering.
"You can keep me safe… by staying the hell away from me." Harry snarled. He ran from the room before anyone could stop him, ignoring Remus's cried for him to come back. He didn't know where he was going anymore… he didn't know who he could trust. Remus had lied to him for weeks, Sirius had abandoned him… who did he have to turn to? He felt his heart breaking as he ran on, the corridor disappearing below his feet as he went on. He was staring at the floor, not looking at all where he was running to, when he felt himself hit someone. He was going too fast to stop himself last minute, and he landed on the floor with a thud.
"Bloody hell! Get out of the fricking way!" Harry shouted, standing up roughly. It was then he felt the tears in his eyes, but he rubbed them away before they had the chance to roll down his cheek. He turned to see who he had run in to, and gasped.
His blue eyes met Harry's, filled with empathy and compassion for the sobbing boy he had just found in the corridor. Dumbledore watched Harry intensely, not saying anything as he put his arm on his shoulder.
"Come, Harry." He said calmly. "I think we need a chat."
Mara pushed the sheets off her, the cool air immediately hitting her legs as she swung them over the side of her bed. She stood up, tiptoeing towards her trunk. The stone floor was cold on her bare feet, causing her legs to feel slightly numb as she walked on. The dormitory was alive with the sounds of snoring and heavy breathing from the other girls in the room, giving Mara reassurance that they were all asleep.
She opened her trunk, pulling out her winter cloak as carefully as she could. She set it down on the floor beside her as she dived back in, fishing among her belongings for her boots. She felt the cool and smooth leather against her skin, and she pulled them from the trunk. She closed the lid back over, lifting her cloak and boots as she left the room, the door squeaking as she did so.
She walked down the corridor towards the common room, where the light from the open fire was slightly visible. Her wand was tucked in the pocket of her nightdress, banging on her leg as she walked on. The common room appeared empty on a first glance, the furniture creating eerie shadows with the light from the fire. She sat down on the armchair nearest to the heat, pulling the boots on her feet. She tied the laces as best she could, her hands numb from the cold and shaking slightly.
"What are you doing?"
The voice caused Mara to jump off the seat, her heart pumping loudly. She scanned the common room for any sign of a person, when a head of blonde hair caught her eye. He was sitting in the corner opposite her, his face and body hidden in the shadows.
"Draco…" Mara said. "You scared me."
Draco stood up, walking from the dark corner and into the light of the fire. He was wearing green silk pyjamas, a nightgown covering him to keep him warm. He was watching Mara suspiciously, his eyes frowning at her.
"Didn't mean to." He said. "What are you doing?"
Mara hesitated, quickly making up a lie. "Going to see Madam Pomfrey."
Draco raised an eyebrow. "You don't look sick."
"Well I am."
Draco scoffed. "And you need boots to go to the hospital wing?"
"Couldn't find my slippers." Mara improvised.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap. Where are you really going? Are you going to find, Potter?"
"He's still not back?" she asked.
Draco shook his head. Remus had come and found Mara earlier on that evening to assure her that Harry was fine. When he ran out of the room he had encountered Dumbledore, who had taken him back to his office for a chat. However, that had been hours ago, and it was now close to midnight.
"Strange." Mara whispered.
"Don't avoid the question." Draco said. "What are you up to?"
Mara looked at her cousin, trying to look as innocent as she could… but it was no use. If she wanted to get where she needed to be, she needed Draco's help.
"I'll make you a deal. If you help me, I'll tell you where I'm going." Mara said, crossing her arms.
"You're bribing me?" Draco said.
"No, it's called being even."
Draco sighed, before nodding in agreement.
"Fine. What do you need?" he said.
"I need you to go to your dormitory. Harry has an invisibility cloak in his trunk, I need you to get it." Mara explained.
"You want me to steal from Potter?"
"It's not stealing. I'll give it back to him… I just need it for tonight. Please Draco."
Draco left the common room without another word, heading in the direction of the boy's dormitory. She waited anxiously by the fire, the heat beginning to become uncomfortable. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the map. She had taken it back from Remus after Harry had ran out. She knew she would need it. She took out her wand, whispered the spell, and watched the ink run over the paper.
Harry was still in Dumbledore's office, as was Remus. Snape was in his quarter's, as was McGonagall and all the other teachers. Filch was busy on the second floor, while Mrs Norris was somewhere near the astronomy tower. Mara scanned the map for the passage by the whomping willow Remus had mentioned earlier, although he probably didn't mean to tell them where it was or that it even existed at all.
Once she located it, Mara cleared the map and shoved it back in her pocket. She pulled on her cloak, clasping it at the front.
"I think this is it." Draco's voice said from behind her.
"That's it." Mara responded, taking the cloak from Draco.
"So where are you going?" Draco asked, reminding Mara of their deal.
Mara sighed. "Hogsmeade."
"Hogsmeade… at this time? Are you mad?"
"Possibly… but I have to go. Thanks, Draco." She said.
She threw the invisibility cloak around her, and judging by the look on Draco's face, guessed that she had successfully disappeared. She walked to the door of the common room, opening it as quietly as she could, and looked down the dark hallway of the dungeon. It was empty.
She crept along, not even daring to look behind her. The castle was silent, the only sound she could hear was her own breathing. She began to pick up the pace, walking with more determination. The entrance hall was empty, the only light coming from a candlestick in the corner. She walked over to the big oak doors, which she knew already would be locked.
She lifted her wand out, poking it through the cloak just enough so she could reach the lock.
"Alohomora." She whispered.
The door clicked loudly, creating an echo down the corridors. Mara held her breath, waiting for a hand on her shoulder, but nothing happened. She opened the door just enough so she could squeeze out, closing it gently behind her.
The air was crisp cold, the sky above her lined with a crowd of stars on the velvety night. She walked on, lighting her wand under the cloak so she could see where she was walking. The grass crunched under her feet, the cool night having frozen it over. She took the map out of her pocket, checking to see if anyone had followed her. Dumbledore, Remus and Harry were still in Dumbledore's office, while all the teachers remained in their quarters. Filch had moved to the fourth floor, while Mrs Norris was snooping about on the first. Mara breathed a sigh of relief.
She walked on, passing by Hagrid's cabin, which was also in darkness. She never realised just how far away the whomping willow was, but she was determined to reach it.
And there it was. The tall tree was standing proudly in the glare of the night as Mara approached it. Its branches were moving slowly and gently, yet there was no breeze in the air. Mara kept the cloak tightly on her shoulders, not daring to let it fall until she was out of sight. She approached the tree carefully, and immediately saw the hole by its root. She wasted no time. Before she could even think about it, and had climbed down into the dirt and darkness.
She landed with a thud against the mucky ground, her back slamming hardly as she landed. She stood up, wiping down her nightdress as best she could. The cloak had fallen off during her fall, leaving only her winter school cloak over her shoulders. She picked up the invisibility cloak, leaving it on a rock by the hole which she fell from. She needed her hands available, just in case she encountered something else.
She walked along the tunnel, the smell of damp leaves giving off a stagnant odour. She didn't know how long she had to walk on for, all she knew was that the only way of here had to be through the ceiling. Her wand was clutched in her hand, lighting up the tunnel so she could see where she was going. It seemed like she had been walking in a repetitive tunnel for quite a while when a wooden door above her caught her eye.
She climbed on top of a boulder that was sitting in front of her, her own height being not nearly tall enough to reach. She pushed open the trapdoor, only she did so a little harder than expected. She heard the door slam against the wooden floor above her, creating a loud and echoing noise throughout the house above her, that was undoubtedly the shrieking shack. Mara pulled herself up, finding it difficult to climb from the trapdoor in her nightdress. She heaved herself onto the floor, knowing that she was above ground once more.
Her heart still thumped in her chest from the loud thud as she stood up, alighting her wand once more. She didn't know why, but her gut instinct was telling her to go up the stairs. The rooms downstairs all looked old and abandoned, like not even a dog had been sleeping there.
The stairs creaked as she walked up them, her heart practically about to fall out of her chest. The first door on the first-floor hallway was slightly ajar, and she decided to search that one first. She crept along the hallway, pushing the door open slowly with her free hand.
She felt someone grab her instantly, holding her tightly against the wall. She dropped her wand, trying desperately to claw her way out of the grasp. But as soon as it had begun, she had been let go. She crawled along the floor searching for her wand in the dark. She saw the glow under an old chair, and she quickly reached under to grab it. She turned once the wand was safely in her hand, a stunning spell on her lips when she saw him.
He was staring at her in awe, like he was somehow trapped in a dream. He was a shadow of the man that Mara remember, yet still she saw the familiarity in his eyes and his face. He was watching her the same way he had always done, and her heart crumbled and she felt a tear run down her cheek.
Sirius was standing before her, holding a large stick in his hand that he had been using as a method of defence Mara guessed. He dropped it, not even caring about the loud bang it created.
"Mara…" he whispered. He walked over to her, and lifted her straight off her feet and into an embrace. It was as if all the months apart never happened in that moment, for she had never felt a greater sense of security. He knelt on the floor after a while, still holding her close as he stroked her hair the way he used to do. He broke away, holding her face in his hands and looking at her with adoration.
"You look so different." He said.
Mara laughed through her tears. "You can talk."
Sirius chuckled, a sound that Mara had missed every day for five months.
"What… what are you doing here?" Sirius asked.
"Remus told us earlier tonight you were here. I had to see you." Mara said. Sirius smiled, lifting a curly lock out of her eyes.
"And Harry?" Sirius said, a weak smile on his face despite the obvious ache in his voice.
"He got upset with Remus. He's with Dumbledore still, I think." Mara said. She lifted the map out of her pocket, checking to see that Harry's dot was still in Dumbledore's office.
"The map…" Sirius breathed. "Where did you get it?"
"The Weasley twins have had all along. They gave it to us." Mara explained.
"Little shits." Sirius smirked. "I've missed you… so much."
"I missed you, too. You have no idea how lonely it was without you during the summer." Mara said.
"At least you had Remus and Harry." Sirius said, stroking Mara's head again.
Mara froze. Remus hadn't told him that they'd been separated… he didn't know.
"Mara? What's wrong?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing." Mara said quickly, giving him a smile. But she knew straight way that he didn't believe her for a second.
"You're lying. Tell me." Sirius said, a stern tone in his voice.
Mara took a deep breath.
"I didn't have Remus and Harry. I only had myself." She said, sitting down on the floor. Sirius sat beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well… after you left… we were separated." Mara said.
Sirius stiffened beside her, his breathing quickening.
"Separated?" he echoed.
"Fudge wouldn't let us stay with Remus. He said he was a danger to us, him being a werewolf and all. He said we'd be safer elsewhere… with our… real families." Mara explained.
"Who? Who were you with?" Sirius demanded. He was shaking now. Mara could tell he was so close to losing it.
"Harry stayed with his mum's sister… Petunia, I think. And I… well… I had to stay with the Malfoy's." she said.
She stood, the room around them practically vibrating from his anger. His face had turned red from the pale white it had been, his breathing so fast and uneven that Mara was sure he was about to faint.
"So, Remus lied. Let me believe he looked after you?!" Sirius shouted.
"Sirius please keep your voice down!" Mara begged, rushing over to him. She grabbed his arm, trying her best to pull him back to where they had been sitting. He pulled away from her, raising his arms above his head for a fraction of a second. Mara didn't know what happened or why she did it, but all she saw was a raised hand and she ducked away, hiding her face in her arms.
"Mara…?" Sirius's voice said gently. She looked up to see him crouched over her, his arms held out reassuringly, signalling her it was safe. She lay against him, fighting hard to keep the memories of that summer out of her head.
"Did he hurt you?" Sirius said, his voice breaking.
"Yeah…" Mara replied, trying her best to stay strong for Sirius.
"I'll kill him. And I don't care if I end up back in Azkaban…" Sirius snarled.
"Please don't be mad at Remus. He was only trying to protect your feelings." Mara said, wanting to talk about something else.
"I'm not mad… well I won't be… in a while." Sirius said, although Mara was not sure she believed him.
"He showed us how to do a Patronus earlier… before he upset Harry." Mara said, looking at Sirius directly in the eye. Sirius looked intrigued.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Harry did it on his third try. This silver stag appeared from his wand and galloped around the room. It was amazing. I couldn't do it." She said.
"Did you say a stag?" Sirius asked.
"Yes… why is there something about it? Remus acted funny too."
Sirius smiled. "Harry doesn't know this, but his dad was an Animagus. He took the form of a stag… that's why we called him Prongs."
Mara smiled. It all made sense now. "That's why his Patronus was a stag."
"It probably contributed, yes. The Patronus is different for every wizard." Sirius said.
Mara watched him, raising an eyebrow. "What's your Patronus?"
Sirius sighed. "Can I borrow your wand?"
Mara handed him her wand, sitting back to allow him space as he stood in the middle of the square room.
"Expecto Patronum!" Sirius said. The wand glowed just as it had done with Harry. An animal appeared from the tip, running around the room in an almost majestic way. It was a bear, shining and just as magnificent as Harry's had been. Mara watched in awe, completely entranced by the creature.
And then it was gone.
"That was incredible." Mara whispered, rushing over to Sirius.
Sirius smiled, handing Mara back her wand.
"Now it's your turn."
"What? But I can't do it." She argued.
"Bullshit. Think of the strongest memory you have, one where you felt so overwhelmed that you didn't actually know what to feel." Sirius said. "Feel it in here." Sirius brushed his hand across where Mara's heart lay, beating and thumping as fast as it ever had.
"Got a memory?" Sirius asked.
Mara nodded.
"Strong enough?"
She nodded again.
Sirius smiled. "Ok… now be confident. You can do it."
Mara took a deep breath, just as she had done earlier, except this time she felt it everywhere in her body. She held up her wand, her memory the only thing in her head.
"Expecto Patronum."
The wand began to vibrate in her hands as the white glow poured out from the tip, filling the room just as it had done with Sirius. Except, where a bear had appeared for him, something else appeared for her. It was a swan, its wings spread wide as it glided across the room. Its silver mist filled her heart as she watched the swan fly over her head and appear to nozzle her cheek, before disappearing.
She dropped her wand hand, not quite believing what she had just seen.
"It's… it's a swan…" She whispered, though just loud enough for Sirius to hear.
"I know." Sirius grinned.
"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked, although she herself, had not stopped smiling.
"It's just… very fitting, that your Patronus be a swan." Sirius said.
"Why?"
"Well, have you ever met a swan? They're feisty and brave… but they've got a beautiful heart. It's perfect."
Mara beamed. "And bears are wild and free."
"I guess that's the idea." Sirius said, pulling her into another hug. "What was your memory?"
Mara looked at him, and decided it was time to tell him.
"There's something I never told you about last year." She began. "When I was in the hospital wing after the whole Tom thing… well I had this dream, although at the time I thought it was real. I saw James and Lily… and then I saw my father. He was standing there, smiling at me. He hugged me, and told me to look after you. When I woke up, it felt like it had really happened. I don't know if it was a memory or a dream… but it's the strongest I've ever felt. That's what I chose."
Sirius looked deep in thought, but Mara could have sworn she say a tear in his eye.
"You probably think I'm crazy." She murmured.
"Not at all. On the contrary, I think you're pretty damn amazing." Sirius said, his smile beaming at her, and warming her heart once more.
