Authors note: WOW okay. So I edited this chapter and posted it last Friday (February 6th.) because I was leaving for vacation on Saturday, yeah me- early! Welp, just discovered this chapter didn't fckin post. It's like even when I put effort into being early/on time the website is like lol nope. Ugh. Happy Valentines Day! Or Singles Awareness Day for me haha

I felt someone rubbing my head, so I cracked my eyes open to see Erik sitting next to me making me smile faintly. 'Hey, how are you feeling?' I sighed and nodded since talking wasn't in my plan for that moment. 'They're going to have the thing tested anyway since if it was cancer they want to check to make sure that it didn't spread, but besides that they're done cutting you open.' I nodded and sighed again, sleep sounded tempting despite having just woken up.

I figured I could try talking for him. 'I- I'm gonna... Sleep.'

'Okay, I'll go hang out with Alli for a while once you fall asleep.' He kissed me and I pursed my lips to make it look like I attempted making him laugh. 'Sorry I didn't mean to force you into a kiss.'

'No... You didn't just- just lazy.' I smiled and pursed my lips again so he'd give me another peck, and he did thankfully. 'Love you.'

'I love you too. Have a good nap, and if you wake up before I come back just have a nurse grab me.' I nodded since my talking for the time being was done and over with.

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'I just want to be done being cut open. No more.'

'You're not going to be cut open anymore so don't worry.' I was moved back into my room in the maternity ward, but the nurses were being angles and watching Alli when I needed sleep or he needed to go somewhere since I was just practically being held together by some string and staples. But Erik was holding her since he had nothing to do and I was awake. 'Oh they had me grab you this so your currently functioning boob won't hurt.' He grabbed my boob pump from the bag he had next to his chair.

'Oh thank you. It's starting to ache so I'll be using that soon.' He set the bag back down and froze when Alli groaned and opened her hands. We stared at her in hopes of her staying asleep, but when her eyes opened our hopes were squashed.

'Hey there, did you have a good nap? Mommy is awake if you wanna say hi.' He changed how he was holding her so she could see me and I smiled.

'Hi sweetheart. You sure are cute.' She finally looked at me and we locked eyes for a couple seconds before she went back to looking around. My heart swelled since I realized I did that. I made that adorable little girl. I mean Erik helped and without him I wouldn't of been able to, but the nine months were me. I had Erik's support but damn did my body work hard.

'You really did a great job.'

'Yeah I know.' He smiled at me before kissing her head.

'She smells like a baby.'

'Maybe because she's a baby? Just a guess though.' He stuck his tongue out at me before getting up. 'Wait no don't go I didn't mean to sound mean.'

'I'm not going anywhere. I need to pee so do you want to try and hold her or do you want me to put her in her basin next to you?'

'The latter. I'm feeling sleepy so I don't want to fall asleep holding her.'

'Alrighty.' He brought her and her basin over before going into the bathroom.

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'Hey Christine, how are you doing?' Some doctor that I didn't recognize walked in and I nodded.

'Good. May I ask who you are?'

'My name is Samuel-'

'Oh god you're giving me your first name. I'm dying aren't I?'

'No- I mean maybe. See when you ask me that before I can explain it makes it sound worse than it is. We tested the mass that we removed from your breast and the results came back that it was in fact cancer. What we need to do is do a PET scan to see if it spread. I don't think it has but I think we all would rather be safe than sorry.'

'Okay when can I get the scan?'

'The day you leave here. You have metal on your stomach so we can't put you in the machine until it's gone, and they don't take the staples out until the day you leave, or at least that's what John told me.'

'So I have to sit here for two days wondering if I have cancer in my body? Can't they take them out today? I want to enjoy this clusterfuck of a birth as much as I can and I don't want to look back and remember the anxiety he and I will be dealing with instead of being as happy as I could possibly manage to be.'

He sighed and looked between Erik and I for a couple seconds before tapping a folder on his side. 'I'll talk to John and see what he can do so just sit tight and I'll be back.' Once he was gone I allowed myself to freak out.

'Holy shit I may have breast cancer or some other type of cancer. This is bullshit. I'm not even eighteen yet and it's not a problem in my family. Erik why is this all happening to me?' I looked at him and he seemed as clueless as I was.

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'Alright just stay still. No moving besides breathing and blinking.'

'Okay.' The table I was lying on was moved into the big tube tunnel thing and the machine was turned on... God it was loud. John decided pulling the staples out wasn't going to kill me, but he replaced the staples with stitches which was nice. Thankfully they were dissolvable so he didn't have to remove them. My card/flower and present collection was piling up at the apartment according to Erik who went back to grab Alli some more diapers, clothes, her playpen, more blankets and the front carrying thing so we could walk with her. He also bought bottles and formula so we could stop using the hospitals which was nice. The formula smelled like death, that was my only complaint.

'Hey wanna go see a movie next week? Maybe get some dinner?'

'You're timing with asking me out is rather shitty.'

'Yeah I know, but you should answer me because you love me.' I stopped myself from laughing.

'I'd love to. Can we go see The Imitation Game?'

'Of course. PF Changs for dinner?'

'Absolutely.' He didn't respond so I assumed he was being scolded for having me talk. It was going to be a long forty five minutes.

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'So am I going to go bald?' Erik took my hand and kissed my knuckles, but despite smiling I didn't look away from Samuel.

'I'm not seeing any abnormal masses anywhere else. You're good. You're cancer free now.' I smiled and sighed in relief as Erik leaned over and kissed me. He got to do all the work since leaning wasn't in my forte at that point. 'But do get mammograms regularly. Since it was in your breasts you'll want to make sure that if it returns they catch it even sooner than this time.'

'Of course. No yeah I'm totally going to be on top of these suckers. Thank you so much for your help, Samuel.' Erik helped me up, and Erik and I shook his hand.

'You're very welcome. Okay now go enjoy your daughter, you've been pulled away from her far too much for just having had her.' I couldn't of agreed with that man more.

'You're completely correct. Let's go, Erik. She's waiting for us.' I took his hand and we walked over to the door of the doctors office.

Erik stopped and turned around getting me to stop in the middle of the doorway. 'Thank you again, I'd hate to lose her this early on in our lives. I mean I'd hate to lose her ever but you get what I mean.'

I was too happy for my own good so I accidentally giggled and my stomach made me feel the regret. 'Ow fuck okay I need drugs.' That got Erik to walk to me then take my hand so I had support, and we went to the elevator to go back up to the maternity ward.

'I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you.' He kissed my shoulder making me smile.

'I'm glad too. I'd hate to see what you'd do without me.' We walked into the elevator when the doors slid open, and after pressing the fourth floor button he turned and kissed me once again. My happiness was making the throbbing and soreness that seemed to radiate over my body not seem so bad at that moment.

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'Okay so we spoke to your insurance, and they covered the C-section since it was done due to health risks. They covered four out of the six days you were here, your meds and all of that were covered, the PET scan was covered uh but the mammogram and biopsy wasn't. So everything but the biopsy and PET scan were covered.'

'Okay where can we pay?' Erik picked the paper up and looked down at it, and was confused by something. 'Why is her insurance Blue Cross? It was Humana last year.' The payment person shrugged his shoulders.

'I'm not sure. The time to enroll and change plans is right now so her dad must of changed plans already. You can pay here. Do you want to pay upfront of bills?'

'Upfront. Just to get it done with.' Erik folded the paper in half and handed it to me, and I set it in my purse.

'Alright well the bill comes out to be five thousand and two hundred dollars. That includes the meds she's taking home and any follow up appointments that her doctors will want to have just to see how the incisions are doing. You can call them to make the appointments though.'

'Oh wow okay use... This card.' I looked down at the paper and noted that my insurance had in fact changed which was weird since I always was insured under my dads work insurance. I found my phone in my purse and dialed his number to find out what he did and how much I owed him.

'Hello?'

'Hey, why am I not insured under your work anymore? I know this plan isn't cheap so how much do I owe you?'

'What? What do you mean? I found a plan that was the same as my work plan for you that covered what you needed. It's not costing anything extra. I'm a dick but I figured it wouldn't kill me to save you guys a few thousand dollars.'

'Yeah it saved us a lot of money. All it didn't cover was a mammogram, biopsy and two of the nights I was here...'

'What did you need those for? Is that something new they do after having babies or something?'

'No they found a lump in my left breast when it hurt to feed them with it and they ended up removing it since cancer, precancerous or nothing it was causing a crippling pain so either way it needed to be removed. Then my placenta ruptured at seven centimeters dialated so I had to get a c-section. Uh... Yeah I think that was all that happened at this six day stay at the hospital. My favorite part was the lack of time I got with my child. Oh wait plus I almost bled to death on the operating table during the c-section, but again nothing too major.'

'Well... At least you didn't have to worry about your butthole tearing.' I wanted to laugh but my stomach wouldn't let me.

'Yeah true... Well thanks again, it saved us a lot.'

'You're welcome. I'm assuming by the gender neutral pronouns that you still want me to have absolutely nothing to do with them?'

'You assumed correctly. Just because we appreciate the health insurance thing doesn't mean that we've forgotten that day. You treated us all like nothing and if you can't respect my fiancée then you don't deserve to be apart of our lives. Plus there's no doubting you knew about me being kidnapped, but not once did you tell me you were glad to see me alive and safe. You show little to no affections yet shove everything I and or we do wrong in our faces.'

'Well it's not my fault I am who I am. I do my best ninety five percent of the time.'

'So you're just naturally a shit-tastic person? And the five percent is when you get violent? Good to know. Okay I have to go, thanks again. I'll see you at the next holiday or family gathering.' I hung the phone up and stuffed it back into my purse, and Erik was still paying so I looked back at the list of things I had done to me and or used and it was a pretty freaking long list. 'Holy hell we would have lost all that money had he not gotten me this insurance.'

'Nah we'd have five or six hundred thousand left.' I looked back at Erik and he was handing me Alli.

'Right side please.'

'Oh right sorry.' He moved her onto my right side since my left side was understandably sore.

'No worries. So this was a relatively non painful visit for you and our savings account.' He chuckled and started pushing me towards the exit, and when he hit a bump while exiting the hospital I grunted in discomfort. 'God I miss our bed.'

'Same here. I'm looking forward to some better sleep. My back is killing me from that sofa bed.'

'You should've gone home. I was fine there when I was just sleeping too.'

'I didn't want to leave you alone. I'm gonna go get it adjusted so it doesn't do the really painful thing. Is that alright? It'll take like three minutes and you can sit in the car, just right now I'm useless.'

'No of course that's fine. I don't want your back to go out so we can do whatever you need to do.' He stopped where Jackie was waiting in front of the hospital and locked the wheels.

'Alrighty, and now we walk.' Erik was about to help me up, but Jackie came over getting him to stop.

'No I'll come with you to where you're parked. She's walked plenty today.' I smiled since I got off the hook with walking, and Erik shrugged his shoulders and freed the wheels before pushing me across the parking lot to my car since that was the car we had the car seat in when I needed to go to the hospital. Plus the other car was going to be as just for us as possible. He unlocked the car and after locking the wheels on the chair opened the back door. I gave him Alli and he sat down in the back, but once he had her in the seat he was stumped.

'I forgot- wow with Korben I was fine but I'm an idiot right now. Anyone wanna help?'

'Here get me in there and I'll show you.' He climbed out, and once Jackie and him figured out the least painful way to help me we made a group effort to stand me up. I took the couple steps to get to the car, and Erik helped me sit down. I hissed through my teeth when I sat down too quickly, but the stinging went away after a few seconds. 'Okay, you put her arms through the straps, hook the chest piece up and bring it up to her chest, then take this middle thing and put it between her legs and take the push in thing on both sides and put them in the buttons on the top of the thing between her legs. Tighten the straps so there's not too much wiggle room and you're done. Good?' He slowly nodded so I figured it was a multi tutorial thing.

'Okay I'm gonna put our bags in the trunk.'

'Bye Christine, feel better!' I turned the best I could and waved at Jackie who was waving as well.

'Bye and I'll try!' Erik waited to close the door until she was walking back to the hospital with the wheelchair.

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Every single freaking bump made my stomach throb and ache, it was pure agony. While I didn't regret him going and getting his back fixed, I also regretted it since I meant more time driving over every single bump in the state... Or at least it felt like it. When we got home Anne was already there and had lunch ready, but I wanted sleep, not food... Well and my pain meds. 'You have to eat to take your pain meds.' I took the bottle from Erik and whimpered when he wasn't lying.

'But going to the bathroom is so painful right now.'

'Which is why I picked this up for you.' Anne picked a bottle up off the counter and tossed it at Erik so he could read the label.

'Oh yeah I was supposed to buy some for her and completely forgot. John told me stool softener would help with that discomfort issue. Plus drinking water, avoiding cheese and things that cause gas so no beans for you.'

'What will it do?'

'Think of this as simple conditioner, and the stuff they give you to drink before a colonoscopy is the deep conditioner.' I found Erik's comparison rather funny, but I wasn't ready to tempt my stomach by laughing.

'Oh. Cool hopefully it'll help because God does it hurt and it makes me want to not eat. Thank you, Anne.'

'You're welcome sweetheart. Now I'll make you a plate so go lay down and get comfortable.' Erik picked Alli's car seat up and he followed me into our room, and after setting her down he helped me up onto the bed since it was high up for a person who just had their stomach cut open. I found nice spot in the middle that looked nice, but remembered Alli was going to be in her basin next to the bed so I moved to the right side.

'I'm going to go change her diaper, but I'll bring her back so I can make her a bottle. They said you can pump your right boob and formula feed her whatever else she may need so you may consider doing that. It's not the bonding experience you were hoping for but it does get her some breast milk.'

'True... I guess if I'm gonna pump to get rid of the pain I might as well give her the milk. Could you get me the pump when it's possible? I haven't used it in like six hours so my boob is starting to hurt. Plus she'll have some for the next time she eats.'

'Of course. I'll be back.' I laid my head down on a pillow, and that was a mistake since I was half asleep.

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I went to roll on my stomach, but remembered my surgeries and woke up instead. It was a shitty trade off in my opinion. Erik was lying next to me, Alli was asleep in her playpen and I had a bowl of soup waiting for me. I frowned since soup was the least appetizing thing I could think of at that moment, but I had yet to do anything indicating that my intestines were working. ''All she does is sleep.' I looked and Erik was looking between Alli and I.

'I am her mother. Don't complain in two years we'll want her to sleep twenty hours a day.'

'True. Watch she'll sleep this much until you're ready to have sex then she'll be up like twelve hours of the day.'

'That's usually how it works.' When someone knocked on the door Erik got up since me getting up would be rather silly.

'Chris, practically everyone is here.'

'Tell them she's asleep. Plus anyone who's sick needs to go.'

'No ones sick, and it's time to feed her anyway so let's just wake her up. I know you're tired but let's just get it over with.'

'Everyone has to wash their hands.' I sat up and Erik helped me off the bed, and once I was off I went towards the bathroom. 'And I need to pee.' Erik followed me since he had to help me sit down, and once I sat down I grabbed a new pad since I hadn't changed it since nine or ten. 'God I hate bleeding.'

'It has to make this much more obnoxious.' I nodded and sighed.

'It really does.' I folded the gross pad up, wrapped it in toilet paper and threw it away then worked on putting the new pad on.

'Your stomach is looking good.'

'Yeah it was more swollen yesterday. It's a little bit redder though.' I cleaned up, and Erik helped me stand up. I hated being so dependent, but it was what it was. I flushed then started washing my hands while Erik was amazing and pulled my shorts and underwear up. After they were up he walked out of the bathroom so I had a shred of privacy. After finishing washing my hands I walked into our room and slowed my walking down even more as I got to Erik.

'Hey I'll make her bottle.' Erik nodded as he picked Alli up and I left the room.

'Her bottles in the warmer for you.' Anne handed me a cold water bottle and my pain meds as I thanked her.

'You're amazing. Thank you, Anne.'

'You're welcome. Sit down and relax, they can go to you if they want a hug.'

'Or we can come over and hug her.' Sam come out from the kitchen and I used my right arm to hug her since using my left arm made my left breasts stitches hurt. I was avoiding telling anyone about the cancer thing since I just wanted to forget about it as much as possible. 'How are you doing?'

'Good. I'm pretty sore.' That reminded me to take a drink of my water and drop the pills into my mouth then swallow. 'Erik should be out with Alli soon, but I need to sit down.' Anne followed me over to the couch, and I used the back of the couch to help since Anne wasn't the strongest.

'Alright sorry I had to change her diaper.' Erik came out with Alli and everyone Erik mentioned like came out of the walls. Norman had been in her nursery, Meg and Eilish were in the kitchen and Ken came out of the bathroom.

'Whoever wants to hold her has to wash their hands, but first I need to feed her.' Erik brought Alli over to me, and made sure she was secure in my right arm before getting the bottle from Anne and sat back down next to me. I took the bottle from him and held the nipple up to her lips until she opened her mouth allowing me to slide it in.

'So why are you formula feeding her?' Sam who had finished washing her hands sat down to my left.

'Uh I need to pump, but my left breast isn't working and it's too uncomfortable to hold her up to my boob so I just pump and I'm going to start feeding her what breast milk I can since I wanted to wait till I was off the heavy pain meds to give her it.'

'Ah that makes sense... But didn't you get off heavy pain meds four days ago?'

'Uh... Yeah I just wanted to be careful. You know motherly fear of silly things.'

'I know that too well.' She leaned over and smiled when she saw Alli. 'Oh she's beautiful.'

'Yeah she is.' I watched as Sam rubbed Alli's cheek with her thumb. 'I can't wait to spoil her.'

'I believe you're going to have to talk to Anne about that.' She laughed while looking at Anne since Anne had been nothing but vocal about her plans to spoil Alli once she was there at the baby shower.

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'What the heck is this?' Erik walked in with a box that must of been left at the door.

'Uh... I don't know actually.' He set the box on the foot of the bed and used the mailbox key to cut through the tape.

'Tummy Tub?' He dropped the box for the tub out and I remembered that I had ordered the tub a week or so before January.

'Ooo yay! I forgot about that! Open it I wanna use it once Alli is awake.'

'Okay, but what the hell is it?'

'It's supposed to like make them feel like they're in the moms stomach again and it helps soothe them and things like that.' He popped the top off the box and pulled the tub out.

'Looks like a curved bucket except clear.'

'Yeah I know but still. Oh I'm so excited to try this thing.' I grinned as Erik continued looking at it as if it were going to get less confusing the longer he stared at it.

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'Damn they aren't lying.' Erik knelt down next to where I was sitting, and I couldn't stop smiling as Alli slept in the water. I of course was holding her head above water.

'This is so precious.'

'It's cool to see her relax when getting in here. She wouldn't stop crying but the moment she got put in here she stopped.'

'We should use this when she won't stop crying.' She started frowning and I looked up at Erik since he knew her better than I did. I was still learning since I was too busy being drugged and cut open to meet her.

'She's probably just dreaming.' My mouth dropped and I shook my head when the water started changing colors.

'Nope! Nope she's definitely pooping. Erik take her into the bathroom and out of the tub, and give her a bath. Make sure you wash her parts really well.' He quickly got up and laughed as he grabbed the tub.

'She's so precious... As she's pooping.' He hurried into the guest bath and I heard the tub turning on. 'This is really gross I'm not gonna lie!' I laughed but stopped when my stomach started throbbing thanks to my decision. I got on all fours and ignored the annoyance in my left breast from being moved and crawled into the guest bath, and he was pouring the water in the toilet. 'Gross. Let's not do that again. It wasn't that cute.'

'If she needed to poop she was going to do it no matter which tub she's in.'

'True. Do you want to help? You haven't gotten a chance to bathe her yet so if you want to do what you can you're free to do so.' He set the soap on the edge of the tub and I smiled at her as I took the washcloth off the top of the shampoo bottle.

'Let's see what I can do.' I leaned over as far as I could and dipped the wash cloth under the water faucet, and Erik put the shampoo on the wash cloth. I started running the washcloth over her head and wiped the water on her face off as I cleaned her hair. My breast was nice enough to let me bathe her without making me feel mass amounts of pain which was nice of it, and as I finished rinsing her off with a plastic cup she sneezed. I bit my lip so I didn't laugh at her wide eyes and confused look on her face, but I found myself giggling just enough it didn't hurt my stomach but it was obvious I was giggling and not suffering from hiccups. 'Can you get a diaper and towel?'

'I have a stack of diapers on the counter and her towel I will grab right now.' He stood up and pulled a towel off the towel rack, and I used my arms to pull myself up onto the edge of the bathtub. I stopped to let the pain in my stomach fade before Erik helped me up the rest of the way. He bent down and picked her up out of the tub and wrapped her in the towel. 'There we go.' He laid her down on the counter and let me start to dry her off. I went for the genital area first so we could get a diaper on her, and once that area was dry I unfolded a diaper and put it on with a speed I didn't know I possessed. From there I finished drying her off, and Erik grabbed the lotion. 'I'll set this on the coffee table and I'll get her some clothes.'

I nodded and picked her up off the counter, then followed Erik out of the bathroom and into the living room. I made sure she was lying completely on the towel on the couch before putting lotion in my hands and started rubbing into her skin. I also splurged and gave her a little arms, legs and feet massages since I was making up for lost spoiling time.

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'I'm sorry you've had such a rough week.' Erik was rubbing my back which admittedly felt sublime.

'Its alright. I'm just glad Alli and I are healthy.' He smiled before leaning over and pecking my lips.

'You're amazing, you know that right? I don't forget it, you just constantly amaze me.' I felt my cheeks warm up as I couldn't contain a smile.

'I've been told that, but I've not looked into it all that much.'

'Well you should. Alright well we should get to bed, she'll be up in a couple hours, four if we're lucky.'

'Yeah I want to let Anne sleep, I think she has a sensor for when Alli is going to wake up because the minute one of us goes to get her Anne is making a bottle. It's scary.'

'So I'm not the only one who will go out there and she'll be making a bottle as if Alli had been crying for five minutes?' I shook my head and he glanced towards the door. 'Can she hear us right now?'

'No I don't think so. Okay bedtime.' I kissed him one last time before rolling onto my back and sighing.