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SECRETS I HOLD
FIFTY-THREE
The gentle ticking of the grandfather clock was deafening to Rae.
After the event she was found by David Madsen who, if he was to describe it, saw a girl crying her head out with a haunted face and blood coming from her nose and mouth. Questioned were thrown at her by him but she refused to answer. All Rae could do was mutter apologies.
Words that meant nothing now.
David had to drag Rae most of the way down because of her refusal to move. The poor girl was dazed and seemed frozen in a state of horror. Her whole body was shaking violently. To David she was nothing but dead weight.
The crowd gathered around the once Kate Marsh. She laid frozen in a moment. Rae couldn't help but lock eyes on the body. Her best friend was now thing but a shell of dying light. She was nothing now. Just a body. A no one.
All Rae wanted to do was fall to the ground and clutch her body and embrace her and tell her that she would do better; tell her to come back; tell her that she was sorry over and over. And if by a miracle she would hear her words she would wake up from her slumber and show her light once more. Her heavenly smile and bright eyes.
But she was nothing now. A body of a person she once knew. A person that would utter nothing.
Kate Marsh was dead. And Rae wouldn't accept it.
She took no notice of the people around her who muttered words that were too quiet to make out. But to Rae it was deafening. Kate deserved silence. This noise she heard, mumbling and talking and whispering was disrespectful. Rae hated that.
She paid no attention to reality. She couldn't even remember how she got to the principal's office. She sat in silence with no expression, her hands on her lap and listened to the ticking of the clock. Ticking away the moments that passed after Kate died. Her eyes remained down. Refusing to look up.
Principle Wells was looking out the window with droplets of rain trickling from the surface. His breath creating steam on the glass.
"I know this isn't pleasant for any of us, but we have to go over what happened before Miss Marsh…before she did what she did." Slowly he turned to face Rae. Nathan was next to her with Jefferson on the other side. David was with them with his arms folded.
"Officer Berry will be taking notes for the official police inquiry. I'm sure you'll give him your full cooperation." Wells glanced at Rae for a moment. "Such a tragedy…but there must be a reason for everything. We need to find out why Kate Marsh was driven to such a desperate action."
Rae remained quiet. She knew that Nathan, David and Jefferson were staring at her. Rae didn't care what they thought. Not anymore.
"As the Principle of Blackwell I take my duties seriously. I take the well-being of every student more seriously. What happened today should never happen in a hall of wisdom and knowledge." Wells turned to David. "Mr Madsen. Has head of security you are responsible for the safety of the student; the doors to the roof should have been locked, that is standard safety procedure. They were not. And that is indeed your responsibility." He then turned to Jefferson. "Mr Jefferson, I know you're not expected to know what your students are going through. But I know that Kate Marsh has assisted you in class. So you must have known that something was amiss." He then turned to Nathan. "Mr Prescott. Since you are responsible for the parties and that Kate Marsh did attend one of those events, you will have to answer some more questions." Wells gradually took a seat in his chair and intertwined his hands on his desk. "Miss Cassity. Why were you on the roof with Kate Marsh? Did she tell you her plan? Please, tell us everything."
There was silence. Rae said nothing.
Wells sighed. "I understand, considering the circumstances, that this is hard for you. But we need as much information as possible to understand what happened. I need you to try, Rae."
Nothing.
Wells leaned back on his chair. "I expected much."
"Rae...You have such a good heart. I always knew you did. Live a happy life, and never forget me."
"And I forgive you."
"I forgive you...always..."
"Goodbye, Rae Cassity."
"I hate you…"
There was a deadly silence. No one said a word. But it was clear that the room was filled with shock.
Expect for Rae.
"I hate you," her voice was low and dangerous while also quiet. "All of you."
Wells shuffled in his seat uncomfortably. "Rae, I understand that you're upset." Rae glanced up at Wells. "But please, you need to tell us what happened."
"You did this...YOU LET HER DIE!" Rae fell to the ground and coughed up blood from the overuse of power that wasn't going to come. She coughed and cried with no control.
And then, after what felt like an eternally of crying and rocking back and forth and shaking to no end, Kamali spoke.
"I didn't kill her."
"I did."
Wells was confused as well as the others. "I'm sorry?"
"I killed Kate."
Those three words made Nathan snap his head up and stare at Rae.
"Rae," Wells began. "Kate was on that roof for her reasons. This was not caused by you."
"I killed Kate…I let her fall…I wasn't there when she needed me."
"Rae-"
"I wasn't there…she's dead because of me."
Silence.
"Excuse me," Jefferson broke the silence. "I think Rae and Nathan need some time before we grill them further. A fellow student has died today. And I can see that Miss Cassity is in need of some space." Rae was silent, staring at her hands once more. "They don't need this right now."
Wells nodded. "Alright. We will continue the investigation from here. You may leave."
And so they did, with Rae being the last one to leave.
…
Classes were cancelled in proceedings of the investigation. The students returned to their dorms and some teachers had to take the day off under difficult circumstances. Morning was nearly over and the hour was nearing. Fifty minutes had pasted since Kate Marsh committed suicide and it was clear that the school was silenced by her death.
Nathan Prescott was outside in the parking lot having a few cigarettes in silence. He paid Victoria a little visit to make sure she was ok. She appreciated it and Nathan was at least happy that she was, somewhat, fine.
Margo gingerly sat next to him, feeling unsure if she was even wanted. But the comfortable shuffle Nathan made said otherwise.
"Some fucked up day." Nathan muttered.
"I know what you mean…I never thought that Kate would…you know."
"Yeah…I know."
Silence.
"…I tried talking to Rae but…"
"She won't say anything?"
"Yeah. she just sat alone on Jefferson's class. I wanted to talk to her to see if she was alright but…all she does is stare at nothing."
"She did that in the Principles office…she blames herself."
"Oh Rae…" Margo placed her hands in her pockets. "I'm so sorry…"
Once again, silence.
"Listen," Margo began. "Do you think that…well…you could talk to her."
"You fucking high?"
"Look just for a few minutes. She might listen to you. Besides you need to explain a few things."
"I don't need to explain shit."
Margo was getting slightly annoyed. "You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Avoiding."
Nathan let out a frustrated sigh. "Whatthefuckever."
Silence was common between then. After a moment he threw away his cig. "Fine. I'll talk to her."
Margo smiled lightly. "Thanks Nathan."
"Yeah. Whatever."
