Thor was panicking inside. He strongly suspected that Loki would object to a seven foot snake being cosily curled up in his bed. One half of his brain was yelling at him to come up with a plan, to find a way to prevent Loki from entering his room long enough for him to rescue the poor thing; the other half was yelling back that Thor was a warrior and deviousness just wasn't his strength.
By now Loki had spotted him and was only a few feet away. The mistrustful look on his face said: what are you up to and why are you standing outside my room?
With no time left to scheme Thor fell back on the old classic: looking casual. He lent against the wall with his arms folded and waved awkwardly. Perfectly casual, perfectly at ease. It was bound to quieten Loki's suspicions.
"What are you up to and why are you standing outside my room?" Loki demanded.
Or it would just make things worse.
"I was, uh, waiting to talk to you," Thor said, slowly, hoping that as he stalled that the two opposing sides of his brain had settled their differences for the common good and were working together to create the perfect reason for Loki to stay out his room.
Tell Loki that there's a polar bear in there! screamed one half.
Idiot! Chastised the other.
"About what?" asked the Trickster, a perfectly reasonable question.
"Uh, uh, uh..." Thor began. Thankfully being under pressure did wonders for his mental faculties. "What is going on with you and Tina?"
Loki's face immediately clouded over and Thor knew that he had hit upon the perfect conversation for keeping his brother distracted. Jackpot
"It's nothing to do with you, Thor," Loki answered, stiffly.
Keep him talking, his brain urged, now unified.
"Yeah, but she must have done something to have upset you. And she won't even talk to you, right? That's a bit harsh."
The clouds on Loki's face lifted to reveal a rather miserable look. He shook his head sadly as he lent against the wall next to Thor.
"I don't know what's happened," he admitted after a moment of silence. "We were friends, but yesterday we argued. I can't even figure out if it's her fault or mine."
Thor considered his response before speaking out loud. Mostly he was surprised that Loki had a friend other than himself, but to say as much would only anger his brother.
"Perhaps it's no one's fault, just a misunderstanding between friends," he said with a smile. He had sensed an opportunity. "If you want to stay friends why don't you be the one to apologise first? It might help."
As soon as those words left his mouth, Thor wished that he had thought a little more carefully. Loki would never apologise to anyone; in his mind disputes were the always the fault of someone else. Thor waited, expecting a harsh rebuttal followed by Loki dashing into his room, but was instead surprised when he heard Loki say:
"Very well."
Thor blinked. "Sorry?"
Loki looked irritated. "You heard me. Tina is a damaged individual and perhaps I did speak intensively to her. I need to be gentle in my interactions with her otherwise she'll just close down, just as she has done now."
Thor blinked again. It was amazing that Loki actually cared enough about someone to want to apologise. But, still, it was a bit annoying that Loki was still leaning against the wall and not looking as though he were in any real hurry to repair his friendship with Tina.
"You should go now. No time like the present," Thor prompted.
"Do you really think so?"
Yes, Thor inwardly shouted. His thoughts had returned to the plight of the hapless snake trapped in Loki's room. If Loki or anyone else caught the unlucky creature they were bound to kill it and Thor couldn't bear the thought of that.
Loki nodded, mouth set firm in resolution. Then he turned and headed back to the elevator. Thor resisted the urge to pump the air with his fist. He was getting good at outwitting Loki.
"Good luck!" he called cheerfully after Loki just as the elevator doors shut with a sharp ping.
Even before the ping had faded into silence Thor had scrambled back into Loki's room. He dodged around the piles of books and fell to his knees in front of the bed, desperately patting the blankets down, but finding nothing.
"Here, Snakey," he called, softly, pulling back the blankets. The bed was empty. "Come on out. It's only me."
What hadn't yet crossed Thor's mind was that the Rainbow Death had come from a very warm planet and that Loki's blankets were enchanted to be icy cold. The low temperature had simply been too uncomfortable for the snake to remain asleep, so once Thor had left the room the snake had blinked awake, yawned, and then had lazily crawled off the bed and onto to the floor to search for a warmer resting place.
Thor turned from the bed and began to search every dark place in the room: under the table, behind the book piles, and besides the chairs. And then his eyes fell upon the wardrobe, with its door open ever so slightly.
Cautiously, Thor shuffled towards the wardrobe on his knees and very, very carefully opened the doors. Then slowly, slowly, he removed the folded blankets from the bottom and smiled. Found it.
"What are you doing?" Loki demanded from somewhere close behind him.
Thor flinched so violently that he banged his head against the door. Then taking a deep breath he grabbed the sluggish snake and hid it behind his back as he stood up to face his brother.
To say that Loki looked angry was putting it mildly.
Thor did his up most best to look innocent.
"I thought that you were talking to Tina?"
Loki's expression darkened. "Really? You think I fell for that?" He raised his right hand, all aglow with green flames "This brings back memories of 1107, the last time you tried to steal something from my room. I seem to remember turning your hands into pig trotters so that you would be unable to pick anything up."
Thor did not need a reminder of that rather painful incident.
"I'm not stealing anything!" he protested.
"Then what's that behind your back?"
Loki tried to look but Thor sidestepped.
"This old thing behind my back? It is, um, a – a draught excluder. But you don't appear to have any draughts here, lucky you, so I'll be on my way."
Being sure to keep facing Loki, Thor tried to step backwards towards the door. But as he did so he saw Loki's eyes widen slightly. Loki dropped his fist, the green flames extinguishing themselves.
"Thor, it's a snake."
"No, it 's a draught excluder."
"I can see it's tail hanging down. It has scales."
"Well, some draught excluders do -"
"Thor!"
Not knowing what else to do Thor reluctantly held up the snake. It was still very sluggish and dopey, slowly drawing its coils closer over Thor's arms. It's eyelids tiredly moved up and down, its beady eye looking dull.
Loki drew in a sharp breath, looking disgusted. Thor was oblivious.
"Great, isn't it?" he gushed, admiring the way the iridescent scales almost seemed to glow in the light.
"No, no it isn't! It's huge!"
"I know," Thor agreed happily.
"Thor, it has fangs!"
"This is why I didn't want you to know about him. You must crept on board, didn't you?" he said in a baby voice, holding the snake's face close enough to his own that its tongue brushed against his nose.
Loki had to resist the urge to pull the snake out of Thor's grasp, lest it bit him or spat venom into his eyes.
"Don't bond with it!" he snapped. "It could eat a child!"
He had always been infuriated by Thor's love of snakes. Goats were Thor's animal, not snakes. All the gods had their special animal friends: for Sif, swans; Frigga, owls. Goats and sheep were for Thor. Whereas snakes and serpents were supposed to be his – Loki's – creatures. And he had used to love them as much as any god loved their sacred animal, until Thor had started showing an interest in them too. After that Loki had started to neglect them in his heart, well, not until after the stabbing incident. It had been typical of the old Thor to take snakes away from him, and typical of the new Thor that he was insensitive to the pain he had caused.
"You're exaggerating."
"You've got to get rid of it."
"No."
"Yes. You can't keep it. Here give it to me."
"Why?"
"I'm going to flush it out the air lock."
Thor drew the snake closer to his chest.
"That's too cruel."
"It was born cruel."
"Rubbish. Nothing is born cruel."
"But, look at it -" Loki moved his hand close to the snake's head. The snake hissed loudly. Loki moved his hand even closer. The snake's triangular head darted forward, fangs fully extended and dripping venom. Loki's fast reactions allowed him to move his fingers just out of reach, but it was a close call. "See? Woah!" The snake had lunged for him a second time.
Loki stepped back, hands encased in emerald flames.
"Loki..." Thor warned.
But Loki ignored him as he used his index fingers to trace a fizzing green circle in front of them. He then blew it towards the Rainbow Death. The circle sailed across the space between them, forming into a large bubble around the snake, fully encasing it. The bubble floated out of Thor's grasp, bobbing up and down, while the confused snake butted its head against the inside.
"Thank you for not killing it," said Thor.
Loki shrugged indifferently. He rubbed his hands together as he looked up the bubble.
"It's very lonely, Thor," he suddenly said. Frankly, he was surprised to have been able to sense any of the creature's emotions. He had been sure that all snakes hated him after his many years of ignoring them. "And its none too well. This ship just isn't the right environment for it."
"What is the right environment?"
"I imagine it came from Rainless. Which as I recall was unbearably, stupidly, and pointlessly hot."
"But, you can help me build a tank for it, right?"
Loki blinked at him. Then he laughed harshly. "Oh, no, not I. That creature of death is your responsibility. Either care for it or throw it off the ship. It's up to you. Doesn't make any difference to me."
"But if the Elders find it then -"
"Then look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent underneath it*."
"Sorry?"
"Remind them of who is king. Also, remind them that it was I who advised you first to get rid of it. I can do without another lecture on how a prince should behave."
"And you won't tell them? I can also do without another lecture. And all that nagging."
Loki looked thoughtful. "I may not, if you will owe me a favour."
"Oh, come on, Loki! I saved your life on Rainless! I looked after you day and night. Surely you owe me something."
"I did, but then you used it up by asking me to recount my tales of the Black Order. You should remember, it went on for several chapters."
"Chapters? Look, Loki, if I am going to owe you a favour then not only do I want your silence, but I want you to help to maintain the secret. Understood?"
"It did try to bite me..."
Thor was hardly sympathetic. "Yeah, but you have the advantage of being near-immortal. It couldn't have done you any real harm."
"And what of the safety of our mortal friends? Or are their lives disposable now?"
"Nothing is going to happen. We're going to build a nice warm tank for Charlie -"
Loki looked scathing. "Charlie?"
"And it'll stay in my room. I'll owe you a favour and neither of us will be pulled in for a talk with the Elders. But, most of all, no one is going to get bitten, no one is going to be flushed out of the air lock. Happy?
Loki bumped Thor's fist with his own. His brother made it all sound so simple and straight forward, but nothing was ever simple for them, was it?
It had occurred to him that now would be the perfect time to punish Thor for enjoying snakes more than he did. Except that Loki was no longer certain that Thor had done anything wrong. There had been no reason why they could not have both shared a love for the reptiles. It had been his only childishness that had led him to spurning them altogether.
Loki felt almost sick when with a jolt he realised that he was being reasonable. He was growing soft. Far too considerate and understanding of others. He wasn't sure that he liked or even welcomed all this personal growth. It was so ugly all this being kind to people.
Not that he had made up his mind not to take some revenge, more that he would think about not doing it. Or at the very least play a harmless prank or too, just relieve some of his anger.
However, it was not just Thor's acquisition of a pet which was annoying Loki.
It was the name Charlie.
Short for Charles. A popular name for humans. The name of human kings.
A bit like Arthur.
It seemed that Thor had a liking for human names.
Very much like Arthur.
*from Macbeth
Thanks for reading!
