"You and Me"
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove, and it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you –
"You and Me"
By Lifehouse
July 5th, 2006
3:00 A.M.
Ellie jolted awake, confused about her surroundings. It wasn't until she saw Addison lying in the hospital bed that she remembered. Derek and Addison leaving, the fireworks, Mark proposing, the phone call, the rush to the hospital…Ellie sat up and sighed. She hadn't even answered Mark.
"Let me finish." He said softly. She nodded. "Eliot Grey, I love you more than anything else in the world. And all I want is for you to be happy." Ellie smiled. "And I have this feeling; this hope, that I make you happy. And I want to make you happy for the rest of your life." It was then that Ellie realized what he was doing. Her heart began to pound rapidly and her stomach was in her throat. He wasn't really going to propose, was he? Mark got down on one knee, causing a few people to turn and look, and Ellie let out a gasp. Mark pulled a box out of his pocket and Ellie closed her eyes. "Eliot." She opened her eyes again, tears in the corners. Mark wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not, but he prayed they were. "Eliot Grey, I want to make you happy forever. You make me the happiest person in the world, and…" Mark took a deep breath. "I want us to be together." He opened the box and she gasped. "Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey, will you marry me?" Ellie swallowed hard and looked down at the box, then back in to his eyes. He was serious. One hand went to her mouth and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. After a minute, she opened them again. Mark was still looking at her, the same loving look in his eyes, though it was obvious that panic was beginning to set in.
"I…" Ellie took a deep breath, and that's when her phone rang. Ellie used to chance to stall and glanced at the caller ID. It was Derek. "I need to take this." She whispered. Mark looked pained. "Hello?"
"I had to rush her to the hospital. She fainted."
"Is she okay?"
"I don't know yet. The doctor hasn't come back out yet."
"Are you at Bellevue?"
"Yeah."
"We're on our way." Ellie hung up the phone and reached for Mark, gripping his hand. "Addie's in the hospital. She fainted." Mark nodded, unable to form words and followed Ellie out of the park. They grabbed a taxi at the edge of the park and slid in to the backseat, neither of them saying anything. Ellie was still gripping Mark's hand.
"Eliot…" She turned to look at him, pain on her face. He didn't say anything else. He knew she was worried about Addison, and that she wasn't ready to answer him yet. He only hoped it would be soon.
Ellie sighed and put her head in her hands. Addison was fine. She fainted because of anemia, which just meant that she had an iron deficiency and would have to get more iron in to her diet. Dr. Harden had been called in Seattle, and recommended bed rest for the rest of Addison's stay in New York. So, now that Addison was fine, Ellie was going to have to make a decision. Yes or no?
"Ellie?" Addison's voice croaked and Ellie turned to face her. "How long have you been here?"
"Since 9:30. How are you feeling?"
"Okay. Honey, you don't need to be here. Go home."
Ellie shook her head. "No. Derek wanted someone to stay with you, but the man was pale as a ghost and falling asleep standing so he went back to M…" Ellie swallowed. "He went home."
"What happened?"
Ellie wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about? Nothing."
"Eliot…"
"God, Addie, why don't you worry about yourself for once?"
"Because I'm fine. I just need more iron in my diet and I'm in bed for the next four days. Whoop-de-do. What happened to you?"
Ellie shook her head. "Nothing."
"Oh good. You're lying to me again."
"Addison…"
"Eliot. Will you just tell me what's wrong? You can't even say Mark's name."
"What are you talking about?"
"Eliot."
"Alright fine. He…" Ellie took a deep breath. "He proposed."
Addison's eyes widened. "Already?"
Ellie stared. "Already? Wait…you knew he was going to pop the question?"
"Well, he showed Derek and I the ring…but I didn't know when he was going to do it."
"You know whats good Addie?" Addison shrugged. "Warning!"
"I'm not going to warn you that your boyfriend is going to propose. That's ridiculous."
Ellie sighed. "He caught me completely off guard. Completely. I didn't…"
"What did you say?"
Ellie looked down at the floor. "I didn't say anything. The phone rang."
"You answered the phone?"
Ellie groaned. "It was Derek. I thought it might be important. Obviously, it was." Ellie said, gesturing to Addison.
"Have you talked to him since?" Ellie shook her head. "Ellie…"
"I don't know what to do. I love him, I do, but…"
"But what?" Addison asked. Ellie shrugged. "Ellie, talk to me about this. He's going to want an answer sooner or later. Probably sooner."
Ellie glared. "You. Not helping."
Addison laughed softly. "Ellie, if you love him, what's stopping you from saying yes?"
Ellie sighed. "I'm not sure I ever want to get married."
"Why not?" Addison asked, sitting up slowly. Ellie slid the chair closer to Addison's bed and placed her head on Addison's legs. "Marriage is great." Ellie looked up at Addison, her eyebrows raised. "Everyone has problems, Ellie."
Ellie sighed. "I guess…I want to spend the rest of my life with Mark. I love Mark. But I don't need a marriage license to know that I love Mark. I don't need that."
"Have you told him that?" Ellie shook her head. "Maybe you should."
"What if he doesn't want to be with me…?"
Addison sighed. "Ellie, he asked you to marry him."
"But what if he wants to get married and I don't and he has a problem with that?"
"Then honey, he doesn't deserve you." Tears came to Ellie's eyes and Addison ran her fingers through Ellie's hair as Ellie let the tears fall on to Addison's legs. Ellie really didn't know what to do.
12:00 P.M.
Ellie came padding down the steps of Mark's brownstone, rubbing her eyes. She's taken a taxi back at 5:00, when she couldn't sleep anymore. She'd fallen asleep as soon as she hit the pillow in Marks bed, but it had been a rough sleep. Mark was there, but he wasn't holding her, and she tossed and turned the majority of the time she was asleep. Ellie walked in to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of black coffee before padding in to the living room and sitting down next to Mark on the couch.
"Hi." He said, turning to face her.
"I'm sorry." He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything."
"You were worried about Addison."
Ellie nodded. "Mark, I love you. So much. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Mark smiled. "But I don't think I need a marriage certificate to signify my commitment to you."
Mark stared. "What?"
Ellie sighed. "I grew up around horrible marriages, Mark. My Dad and Ellis never got married, and then when Ellis married Thatcher, it just turned out horrible. And then Addison and Derek…"
"Ellie, first, we're not Addison and Derek, second, their marriage is not horrible. Shit happens."
"Thank you, Forrest Gump."
"Eliot." She held up her hands in defense. "You don't want to get married?"
"No."
"But you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"
Ellie nodded. "Yeah." She grimaced. "That doesn't make any sense, does it?"
Mark sighed. "No."
"I just…"
"I don't understand, Eliot. Wouldn't living together for the rest of our lives be the same thing?"
Ellie sighed. "Mark…"
"Ellie, I don't get it. Why don't you want to marry me?"
"It's not you, Mark. It's the marriage thing. It's not something I ever saw myself doing…it has nothing to do with you. I love you."
"Really?"
Ellie looked pained. "Yes, Mark."
"I don't think you do." He said, standing. "I think I'm convenient for you."
"Convenient?" Ellie snapped, standing. "George just told me barely two weeks ago that he's still in love with me. He lives in Seattle. He never hit me. He isn't a world renowned plastic surgeon, which means he's not cocky as shit. He didn't sleep with my best friend. What the hell makes you think you're convenient? If I wanted convenient I'd be with George."
Mark shook his head. "I don't believe you." Ellie looked taken aback. "I think you're with me because when I wanted you back, you needed a fuck buddy."
Ellie's face paled. "Is that what you've thought all this time?" Mark shrugged. "So much for 'I want you to trust me, to love me without fear', and 'all I want is for you to be happy'." Mark grimaced and turned to walk out the front door. "Don't walk away from me. We're not done."
"No, Eliot. We're done. This conversation is over." Mark stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him, and Ellie marched back up the stairs. She needed to go somewhere. She couldn't stay in the house. Ellie slid out of her sweats that she'd slept in and in to running clothes. She strapped her iPod to her arm, pulled her hair in to a ponytail and tied her running shoes on. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she couldn't stay in the house.
Mark headed down almost two blocks before hailing a cab. He told the driver to go to Bellevue Hospital. He needed to see Derek and Addison and talk to them. He needed to know if he was overreacting about this. Maybe she just needed space. The cab driver stopped at the light, and out of the corner of his eye, Mark saw Ellie run past the cab. She stopped at the corner, jogging in place, and adjusted the earphones from her iPod. Mark looked her up and down and sighed. The cab headed down the street and he looked back through the window, just watching her. Maybe with Ellie, love was just going to have to be enough.
Ellie knew he was watching her from the cab. She wasn't dense. She saw him out of the corner of her eye as she ran past. She purposely jogged in place and moved her arms around, stretching her body. The cab pulled past and she saw him turn to look at her. Thank God for sunglasses. Ellie jogged down Park Avenue and headed in to Central Park, turning the volume on her iPod up. Almost immediately, the iPod started playing "You and Me" by Lifehouse, but instead of turning it off, Ellie detoured from her original path and headed for the cemetery between Mark's place and Derek and Addison's old house.
Mark sat down outside of Addison's hospital room and sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about Ellie, but he just wanted her to get out of his head. How could she not want to marry him?
"Hey, man." Derek came out of Addison's room and placed one hand on Dereks shoulder. "You alright?"
"She said no." He whispered.
"You asked her? When?"
"Last night. After you guys left. Instead of answering me, she answered the phone. And then today she said that she doesn't want to get married, but she wants to spend the rest of her life with me." Mark sighed. "What's the difference?"
Derek sighed. "The difference is that it's what Ellie wants. And if you want to get married and she doesn't, and you have a problem with that…maybe you don't deserve her."
Mark rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
"Mark, she's been through a lot, with you especially. Maybe she doesn't want to get married. So what? She wants to be with you. Doesn't that mean more than a marriage license?"
"This coming from a married man."
Derek sighed and sat down next to Mark. "Addison and I both wanted to be married. Ellie doesn't want to get married, but she wants to be with you." Derek shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, that should mean something." Mark put his head in his hands and sighed. "Look, go in and talk to Addie. Maybe she can help you." Mark nodded and stood slowly, walking in to the room, praying that Addison could help him figure out what to do.
Ellie hit her knees in front of the tombstone. Katelynn Grey Shepherd. December 10, 2003 – June 10, 2004. Beloved Daughter. Ellie traced the lettering with her fingers and sighed. She missed Kate, but that wasn't why she was sitting in front of her grave. She was sitting there because she knew, if Mark wanted to find her, he would look at the cemetery first. Ellie sighed. Maybe she could come around to the idea of marriage. Maybe later in life, she would want to get married. Right now, all she wanted to do was share her life with him. And if he wasn't up for that without a marriage license, then maybe, just maybe, she could get married. Maybe.
"You told her what?"
"I was upset, Addison."
"Ellie would never be with you out of convenience. You're a prick."
Mark's jaw dropped. "Hey. Rudeness unnecessary."
Addison sighed. "Look, Mark, I get that you're upset. I know you want to marry Ellie, but you have to understand…marriage isn't something she wants to do right now."
"I'm almost 40, Addison. I can't wait forever to get married!"
"What if she never wants to get married? Wouldn't you rather be with her, even if you're not married, than not be with her at all?" Mark sighed. "You know that answer."
"Are you sure this is just about her not wanting to get married?" Addison cocked one eyebrow. "This isn't her way of telling me that she doesn't love me?"
Addison laughed. "Mark you know Ellie. If she didn't love you, she would tell you."
Mark nodded, half-smiling. "Alright."
"Do you know where she is?"
Mark nodded. "Yeah. I know where she is."
"Okay." Mark stood and smiled at Addison. "Be reasonable with her. Tell her how you feel, but mention that you'd rather be with her than without her."
Mark nodded. "Thanks Add."
She smiled. "I'm here for you Mark." He grinned. "Now go find her." He nodded and left the room, running in to Derek.
"So…?"
Mark smiled. "I have a girl to find."
Ellie was lying in the cemetery grass, her iPod volume up, the song on repeat, when a shadow fell over her. She took off her sunglasses and looked up, smiling. Mark sat down next to her as she sat up, facing him. "Hi."
"Hi." He said, sighing. "I freaked out, and I'm sorry."
Ellie nodded. "I'm sorry too."
"I went to see Addison and Derek, and they reminded me that I'd rather be with you, even if we never get married, than without you." Ellie smiled. "I just have a couple of questions."
Ellie nodded. "Okay."
"This is really about not wanting to be married? This doesn't have anything to do with you not thinking that we should be together forever?"
"Yes, this is really about not wanting to be married. I love you. I love you in a stand-outside-your-bedroom-window-holding-a-juke-box-over-my-head-in-the-rain-I'll-move-to-New-York-if-you-want-me-to-I-want-to-have-your-babies-kind-of-way."
Mark smiled. "Will you wear the ring?"
Ellie smiled. "Of course I will." Mark slid the box out of his pocket and opened it. Ellie grinned as he slid the ring on to her left ring finger. Ellie had set her headphones on the grass, and Mark could hear them playing "You and Me", so he set one in her ear, and put the other in his.
"Dance with me?" He asked, holding his hand out. Ellie stared for a minute and then took his hand. They stood up together and Ellie leaned in to him.
Cause it's you and me,
And all other people with nothing to do,
Nothing to prove, and it's you and me,
And all other people, and I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you.
"Eliot…" Ellie looked up at him. "I love you in a join-you-outside-my-window-in-the-rain-I-want-live-where-you-want-to-live-I-want-you-to-have-my-babies-kind-of-way." Ellie smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. After a minute, she pulled back from the kiss and leaned in to his chest again, swaying to the music.
There's something about you now,
I can't quite figure out,
Everything she does is beautiful,
Everything she does is right.
6:00 P.M.
Ellie walked down the hall of the hospital, a smile on her face. Derek had come back to Mark's after being at the hospital with Addison all day, and Ellie had offered to spend Addison's last night in the hospital with her. Ellie walked in to Addison's room, and Addison turned at the sound of the door opening.
"Hey kid." Ellie sat down on the bed, grinning. "What?" Ellie held out her left hand and Addison shrieked. "Oh my god!"
"He said to consider it a promise ring." Ellie said, smiling. "It's his promise to me that he'll always be with me."
"So you guys are okay?"
Ellie nodded. "We're more than okay." Addison laughed. "I just…thank you."
Addison made a face. "For what?"
"For telling him whatever it is that you told him. He said he came to see you…he was so upset when he left, and I just…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him."
"You wouldn't have lost him." Addison said, scooting over. Ellie sat down next to her and leaned in to her shoulder. "He just needed someone to remind him how much he loves you." Ellie laughed. "But you're welcome, for what it's worth."
Ellie hugged Addison and then sat up. "I'm going to go get some coffee. I'll be right back." Addison nodded and Ellie left the room. She made her way past the coffee machine, to the elevator, and took it up to the surgical ward. It seemed like most people were in surgeries, and when she reached the office she was looking for, he was the only one in there. "Ahem." Ellie cleared her throat and stood in the doorway.
"Eliot." Jim Mitchell smiled and stood up, making his way to the door. He wrapped her in a hug and then pulled her inside, shutting the door. "So, what brings you here?"
"We were already in New York…"
Jim nodded. "I know. I heard Addison was downstairs. Is she alright?"
"She's fine." Ellie grinned. "She just needs a little more iron in her diet."
"Well okay then. So you're here because…?"
Ellie sighed. "I want you to tell me more about this co-head of Neurosurgery position."
Jim smiled. "Well, Jason is doing a great job, but I think it's a little difficult for him, seeing as he's still technically a resident. I just have this feeling that if the two of you were to share the position, things would run a lot more smoothly." Ellie nodded. "What's Richard offering you?"
"1.6." She said, leaning against the door.
"I'm prepared to offer you 2, Eliot."
"2 million?"
Jim nodded. "Your hands are as good as Derek Shepherds. I'm completely prepared to offer you as much as he's making in Seattle."
Ellie nodded. "Okay. When would I start?"
"When would you start in Seattle?"
"The first of the year."
Jim nodded. "I figured as much. I'd like you to start in October, but if you want to be in Seattle…"
"Addison's due in December." Jim nodded. "I want to be there."
"Okay. The first of the year it is. Although, if you agree to this, we'd probably be calling you in a lot before that."
Ellie nodded. "That's fine. I just feel like I'd need to give Richard time to replace me, plus I'd like to be there for the babies…"
Jim nodded. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "Is this a yes?"
Ellie sighed. "This is a definite maybe. I still need to talk to Mark." Jim nodded. "But it's a more positive maybe than the last one."
Jim nodded. "Okay. Just give me a call." Ellie nodded and left the office, reaching immediately for her cell phone.
"Hello?"
"Jim offered me 2 million dollars."
"Jesus, Ellie."
"Where do you want to live, Mark? Seattle or New York?"
"I don't know. Where…?"
"I don't know. You wouldn't have to start your practice over if we stayed here."
"True, but that doesn't matter. What about Addison?"
Ellie sighed. "Yeah. I don't know."
"Well…maybe you should talk to her about it."
Ellie cringed. "Seriously?"
"She's your best friend, El. She's going to want to know."
"Okay. Sure."
"Give me a call when you decide. I want what you want, so…"
"Okay. I'll talk to you later."
"I love you."
"I love you." Ellie hung up the phone and took the elevator down to the floor Addison was on. She grabbed a coffee from the machine and went back in to Addison's room, unsure if she was prepared to talk about this or not.
July 6th, 2006
8:00 A.M.
Mark and Derek walked in to Addison's hospital room together, and each man went individually to the woman of their dreams. Derek sat down on the bed next to a sleeping Addison, pulling her in to his arms, and Mark lifted Ellie from the chair, pulling her on to his lap as he sat down. Neither woman stirred. Derek closed his eyes and held Addison to him, and Mark leaned Ellie's head on his shoulder, playing with the ring on her finger. Soon, Ellie was awake and smiling.
"Hi." Mark whispered. Ellie grinned and kissed him softly on the lips.
"Morning."
"Is everything okay?" Ellie nodded. "Did you decide?" Ellie nodded again. "And…?"
Ellie took a deep breath. "As of January 1st, I'll be the Co-Head of Neurosurgery at Bellevue Hospital." Ellie laughed softly. "Once I sign the contract." Mark smiled. "Is that okay?"
"Us, living in New York?" Ellie nodded. "That's perfect." Ellie smiled and leaned in to his shoulder. Mark closed his eyes and soon both of them were as asleep as the Shepherds.
Okay. Yes. She chose New York. Don't kill me.
Review though. Please? – Mel.
