A/N Pem is quoting (paraphrasing) Leia's quote from the opening of the 'A New Hope' novelization – any errors in it are mine, not hers.

**

Dear Tam,

Ma-mere and Pay-pa have been all sloppy eyed at each other all week and although I haven't heard them (thank the Force!) making love all week, they are up to something . Every time I see them, Pay-pa is touching her hands, or her back (just lightly) and are meditating together. He has a few Jedi meetings, but right now 'he's taking a little break' and 'letting them do as they must' for the most part. What ever it is, it's making Ma-mere happy, even though she's very tired.

Nico has been off world with one of the other Healers (I think he asked to go) and has sent a bunch of holos to me and Luda (she says she hasn't seen one of them but I think she's lying because I saw that she's keeping his rock on her nightstand again, and I saw Nomie sulking and giving her dirty looks when she (Nomie) thinks our instructor (in the Non Jedi Lessons) isn't looking, but Luda is behaving like a good Jedi and 'rising above it'.

Bennu and I had mid-meal in the gardens today, and he asked my how old I was and I told him that I was thirteen, and he said that his planet's (Naboo) greatest queen was nearly my age. I told him that I knew, that she was my Gra-mere (I should have told you Tam, that I didn't tell him my Pay-pa was 'Master Skywalker' before) and he said that it couldn't be true because she'd never had children, and I told him that she did, after all, where else did Auntie Leia and Pay-pa come from?

Bennu got a really funny look on his face, like he was trying to think of how to tell me something, and at last he said something like, 'Well, everyone pretended they were related to heroes he was little too' and then that we shouldn't talk about it because obviously it was making me mad.

Tam, mad isn't the word I would have used! 'Ready to go all darkside on his dirt-busting (butt) is more like it! I told him that my Auntie had said 'They were just people who found themselves in the wrong place at the right time, naturally they became heroes,' and then he said I was just quoting from the holo-show that we'd seen, (well, sorta – we just kissed through most of it!) and I told him that it was because Auntie Leia had actually said it.

He just shook his head and tried to put his arm around me, and I shook it off. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him I didn't want to be with somebody who thought I was a liar, and then he asked why I was still friends with Nassa then (because even though Nassa had snitched out Nico to Luda, I still thought he was OK because she needed to know, and he can't help it if he likes Luda – a lot of boys do.)

Then he (Bennu) said that that he (Nassa) had told him that he had lied to Luda about how Nico and Nomie were a secret girl-friend and boy-friend because she (Nomie) did like him and he (Nassa) really wants Luda to himself, and how Nico and Nomie really hadn't done a lot more than deep kissing and a little touching (that time in the closet was the first time she manage to get him to let her put her hand there – but now I didn't believe him – Nico was enjoying it far too much for that!) and it was all a bunch of wookiee poo-doo anyway, and then he wanted to kiss me again!

I pushed him away (accidentally used the Force – I haven't lost control like that in ages !) and started walking away, and he got all mad and said that I should just go and be with Luda anyway, and I stopped and turned around and asked him what he meant by that.

He got all smug and said that 'it was pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that Luda liked girls - and me in particular – and maybe I was just a freak like Nico's Masters…

I'm proud to say I didn't lose control of the Force, Tam. I was very precise when I picked him up and dumped him into the pond.

Love,

Pem

PS –

I do love Luda, but not in that way (besides, I know for a fact that she really still loves Nico that way), and even if she did, does it really matter? Toa and Uncle Kay have been together since before I was even born and they aren't hurting anybody (Uncle Kay has even stopped 'fooling around' with other people! He said he loves Toa too much to hurt him anymore like that, and if Toa can live with being with one person, maybe he could too!)

The thing is Tam, I kinda do like it when Luda cuddles me, but I also like it when Ma-mere cuddles me too! Or Auntie Leia, or Jaina or even Gra-mere and Auntie Leibé does to! I don't think that means I like girls (Ma-mere says it wouldn't matter if I did, but that should be the last of my worries right now.)

I'm sorry for dumping on you like this Tam, but I don't know who else to talk to just yet. I don't want to bother Pay-pa or Ma-mere, or any of the grown ups, but I'm almost afraid to ask Luda herself! She's always going to be my 'non-clan sister' and Best Friend, but what if she does like me that way (when I don't like her that way?)

I guess in the end I'll have to 'suck it up' (as Uncle Han says) and talk to her.

Wish me luck!

Pem