Chapter 52
Washington

With Kate Todd having left early to go help Ducky Mallard prepare his Thanksgiving dinner, Gibbs walked into the forensics lab to check on Jane, Maura and Frankie.

Their impromptu talk had gone on for a good hour - and while he wasn't keen on cutting it short, Gibbs did want to make sure everything was alright, especially after Abby Sciuto's two emails to he and Kate, concerned over hearing the occasional bouts of crying and a shout or two.

When Gibbs walked in, though, with a 64-ounce cup of Caf!-Pow in hand, Rizzoli, Rizzoli & Isles were all smiles.

"Glad to see you let Abby out of her office," Gibbs said.

Abby, bubbly and exuberant, stood with the trio, holding a stuffed toy in one arm, and holding her other arm out towards Gibbs.

"Got you something, Abs," Gibbs said, handing her a 64-ounce Caf!-Pow.

"Ooooooohhhhhh!" Abby said. "My energy level was starting to run low, Gibbs, but you've given me my Caf!-Pow. Now I'm gonna be able to get through the rest of the day and night, including helping Ducky with Thanksgiving dinner-hey, you three, you are joining us, right?"

"So I hear," Jane said. "What's that you're holding?"

"Oh. This is Caf!-Pow-"

"Uh, I meant the other thing you're holding."

"Oh. This is Bert."

"Jane," Maura interjected. "Abby. May I ask what Caf!-Pow is? Is it a high-energy drink, or a soft drink?"

"Well, it's a mix of both," Abby told her. "It's like coffee, but it's not coffee, it tastes like a soft drink...the best way I can put it is that it tastes like Caf!-Pow, and it helps get me through my day."

"Sounds like we've all had a long day," Gibbs interrupted. "Time to call it a day, too."

"You kicking me out, Gibbs?" Abby joked.

"You can stay down here if you want, but if there's nothing else you need to do, I'm sure Ducky and Kate could use your help," Gibbs said. "I'm going home. You three can join me if you like."

"Home away from home?" Jane said. "Let's go."

All five got on the elevator, and shortly afterwards found themselves on the third floor of NCIS, where Maura decided to present to Maura an alternative to Caf!-Pow.

"...have you considered, Abby, numerous studies, most recently one from Louisville State University, finding that a highly-nutritious diet full of vegetables, fruits, and water, with a small amount of lean meats, combined with an hour of aerobic exercise, five days a week, provides the same benefits, and more so, that these high-energy and sugar-laden soft drinks claim-"

"Maura," Jane said. "Do YOU eat a 'highly nutritious diet' and exercise five days a week-waitasecond, never mind. Of course you do."

Maura looked at her, head cocked. "Of course I do, Jane, as you know - from my numerous attempts to encourage you to do the same, including when we take yoga classes together. My nutritional and exercise habits give me a high, consistent energy level, and meet the recommendations of the National Institute for Health and the American Dietary Association, without forcing me to partake of caffeinated beverages. I might add that yoga also provides additional benefits in both exercise and stress reduction-"

"Maura, thanks, but I'm addicted to my Caf!-Pow," Abbu said, half-apologetically.

"You are?" Maura replied. "How long-"

"Maura," Frankie said, "she's addicted to this Caf!-Pow like Jane's addicted to coffee."

"You are?" Maura said to Abby. "Abby. And Jane. And you too, Frankie, and you, agent Gibbs. If you're addicted to these drinks, I might suggest a regimen of moderation-"

"Dr. Isles," Gibbs said, politely, "there ARE much worse addictions than coffee. And Caf!-Pow."

"Agent Gibbs, you're correct," Maura replied, then said nothing for several moments before continuing. "At least 40 more I can think of off the top of my head. Alcohol, cocaine, methamphetamine, sexual-"

"Maura!" Jane and Frankie said, with Jane crossing her eyes in exasperation, trying to think of how to quickly change the topic of conversation.

She eyed the stuffed hippo Abby was holding in her left arm, the object Jane really wanted to know about.

"Say...Abby. What's that you're holding...no, not the drink. Other arm."

"Oh! This is Bert."

Abby held up her stuffed hippo. "Jane. You can take him if you like. In fact, you should squeeze him."

"Squeeze him?" Jane said, taking the hippo. "What happens when you squeeze him? Does he say Goth things? Does he play Goth rock?"

"Jane," Maura said to Jane, before elbowing her lightly.

"Oooohhh," Abby said. "Kate's already taught you something, it looks like - that's what she does to Tony all the time...anyway. Jane, squeeze Bert."

"Okay," Jane replied, then squeezed the stuffed doll, resulting in a very loud farting sound.

Abby giggled; Gibbs raised his eyebrows; Frankie stared at Jane, who seemed to be thrown off guard; and Maura looked shocked and disgusted, which Jane immediately picked up on.

By squeezing Bert again, and again.

The combination of the farting sounds and Maura's reactions to them caused Jane to laugh uproariously, and continually.

"Jane," Maura said - clearly not picking up on what Jane found to be hilarious - "I do not understand your sense of humor - oh! That's disgusting! Why do you find that to be humorous?"

"Yeah," Abby mused. "Kate didn't like him either. Tony thought he was funny, though."

Gibbs started walking towards the main elevator. "Time to leave," he said, and the other four followed him out, with Jane squeezing Bert in Maura's face, laughing loudly.

Maura still didn't quite get how on earth Jane thought that was humorous, but did see she was having fun.

This experience in Washington has been especially hard on Jane, Maura thought. If my playing straight man to the stuffed farting hippo helps lift Jane out of her doldrums, then she can squeeze that thing all she wants.

"You can take Bert with you," Abby said as they all boarded the elevator, "and bring him with you to Ducky's."

"He stays downstairs with Frankie," Maura told Jane. "I do not want...Bert...upstairs with us."

Jane squeezed Bert twice more, laughing, and laughed even louder at Maura's half-disgusted look.

Outside, Jane and Frankie passed Bert back and forth, squeezing him; Gibbs took a few moments to catch up with agents Stan Burley and Paula Cassidy. Jane saw them and joined in on the conversation, since she was assisting on their case.

Abby led Maura in their direction - as Gibbs did not want either Jane or Maura left alone - and struck up a conversation.

"You know how people give names to couples on TV, like a name smoosh?" Abby said.

"Yes," Maura replied. "Although Jane, and her mother, and her brother Tommy, and I do regularly watch television and movies, I'm not that familiar with the 'name smooshes' of the couples on those shows."

"Not even with Bragelina? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?"

"Oh...oh of course," Maura said. "A celebrity name portmanteau."

"Right, a portmanteau," Abby replied. "Fans have their own portmanteaus - name smooshes - for their favorite couples. Like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Mondler. Or Harry Potter and Severus Snape? Snarry."

"I see."

"Yeah!" Abby said. "And I think I've come up with one for you and Jane."

"Oh, we've tried, jokingly," Maura replied. "We couldn't come up with anything better than Mane."

"Mane? Ugh," Abby said. "Think you'll like mine better. Rizzles."

Maura's eyes lit up.

"Rizzles...Rizzoli...and Isles...Abby, I like it! Rizzles!"

Maura would say 'Rizzles' a couple of hundred more times the rest of the night, mostly because she liked the sound of it, and partly to get back at Jane for squeezing Bert in her ear so often.

Bert, incidentially, went back to Gibbs' house with Jane. And he stayed upstairs with Rizzles.

Boston

Paddy Doyle walked around his safe house in a panic, and not even his most trusted lieutenants could calm him down.

Convinced the FBI was on to him, Doyle tried to call in every favor he could - not just to try to find Maura and Jane, but to protect himself from being arrested.

The best he could do is get information from a couple of his contacts at Boston PD that the police force and the feds were searching for him.

One of his contacts at Boston PD called him back and made Paddy's night even worse.

"Cavanaugh and the FBI are putting together a warrant for your arrest," the contact said. "Kidnapping. Hacking into a federal agency. Serious charges, Paddy-"

Paddy's contact dropped his call, and neither he nor his lieutenants could raise the officer.

"Paddy," said one of his lieutenants, "we gotta get you to a safer place-"

"I'm IN a safe place," Paddy roared. "Where the hell ELSE am I gonna go?"

"Not here, sir," the lieutenant replied, as two young men picked the crime boss up by his armpits and carried him to an SUV.

Ten minutes later, two FBI cars and six Boston PD vehicles pulled up to the now-abandoned house, searched it thoroughly, and found no one.

By then, Paddy was at yet another safe house, pacing the living room while his top lieutenants discussed what to do next.

It slowly dawned on Paddy that he couldn't stay ahead of the feds forever, and his prospects of ever seeing his daughter alive were dwindling to nothing.

Should I turn himself in, he thought, or should I contact my lawyers and ask for a plea bargain?

Or, should I find the bastards who sent my daughter away into the hands of the feds, and hunt them down, one by one...all the way to the big bastard himself?

Richmond

Night had fallen in the capital city of Virginia, and the trio of Michael Rivkin, Tony DiNozzo and Seeley Booth had managed to keep up with Ziva David.

Tony, now driving, saw the fuel indicator was at a quarter of a tank.

"Does that girl like to drive or what," Tony mused. "She's probably racked up a thousand miles since we got down here."

"267.8 kilometers," Rivkin replied.

"What's that in English?" Tony joked.

"A lotta miles," Booth answered.

Their car followed Ziva into a rural area just south of Richmond, and a few minutes later Ziva finally pulled off the road, towards a farmhouse.

"STOP!" Rivkin said - and Tony put on the brakes, hard; all three could hear the loud squeal.

"Did you have to stop so abruptly," Rivkin sniped. "She could have heard us. She may HAVE heard us."

"You're the one who yelled at me to STOOOPPPPPP," Tony replied. "We were sixty yards from her; chill out already."

"Agent DiNozzo, I do not want us to get made," Rivkin replied. "Now drive - slowly - another 20 meters-"

"We're in America, Rivkin," DiNozzo said. "Metric system doesn't work here."

Tony's joke went over Rivkin's head.

"Just drive until I tell you to stop - SLOWLY," Rivkin said.

Tony drove - at a snail's pace - another 30 yards before Rivkin signaled him to pull over.

Rivkin pulled out his binoculars, and the three waited for Ziva to get out.

Not ten minutes later, an SUV pulled next to Ziva's car; Ziva and the red-haired, female SUV driver both got out, simultaneously, and embraced before walking in.

"Agent DiNozzo, pull out your binoculars, you too, agent Booth," Rivkin said. "Do you recognize that woman with Ziva?"

Tony looked at the redhead, following Ziva into the house.

"Damn," Tony said.

"Tony, that's not your director-" Booth.

"No, Booth, definitely not Morrow. That's the No. 2 person in NCIS. The Assistant Director. Jenny Shepard."