Terra: so~ do we just wait for Ebony to come back or what?

Sakura: yeah, it's kind of a tradition to let her do the intro.

Slushy: I could do it.

Sakura: we all know you could do it.

Slushy: so... did you work out an agreement with Morro?

Sakura: he says as long as he can avoid dares while he's here.

Ebony: *stumbles through the doors wearing a white shirt with puffed sleeves, a waistcoat, a thick belt with a cutlass in it, an eyepatch and a tri-cornered hat* Bloody eyepatches... they ruin depth perception... *takes eyepatch off* oh hey guys!

Terra: where've you been?

Ebony: I went seafaring with Izzy and became a pirate queen.

Slushy: just another day on the job, right?

Ebony: exactly. now... should we start now or what?

Sakura: as soon as you get rid of that outfit.

Ebony: but it looks cool... *hat catches fire* T.T VERY clever... I'll go find the incinerator... HEY KAI!


Ebony: *back in normal clothes* Welcome back everybody to another chapter of my ninja dare show... featuring, as always...

Sakura: me!

Slushy: And me!

Cast: *groan*

Ebony: me and of course Terra! who'll still be with us this chapter! so... let's get to it! Terra?

Terra: Lloyd must have a death battle with Ebony.

Lloyd: 0.0 crap.

Ebony: *smirks* welp. don't think It'll be any easier since you're a girl now.

Lloyd: *praying silently* I'm gonna die today.

Slushy: Ebony, hostess with author powers vs. Lloyd, master of energy... GO!

and a one and a two and a one, two, three- *crash* and he's dead.

Ebony: *nudges Lloyd's body with her foot*

Kai: you- you just killed her-him!

Ebony: so I did. *smirks at Kai* is there an issue?

Kai: you murdered a child!

Ebony: a hot child?

Kai: y- *glares at Ebony* I know what you're doing.

Ebony: ha! *snaps fingers and Lloyd's alive again*

Lloyd: *gasping for breath* oh thank god it was so dark and scary...

Kai: you alright Lloyd? *romantic music playing in the background and Kai blushes* knock it off!

Sakura: anyway if you two are finished with that... Kai has to turn evil with Chen's staff again.

Kai: NO!

Chen: YES! *everyone looks at him* what? you seen how rarely he switches sides? it was also VERRY fun to watch.

Sakura: hey Kai, catch! *throws Chen's staff at him*

Kai: WHAT THE- *catches it and his eyes turn red* ah god I missed this feeling... *sees everyone staring at him* what? am I not allowed to enjoy power?

Everyone else: no.

Jay: unless you count your massive ego power.

Kai: shut up! *freezes Jay*

Cole: canonically speaking... that really shouldn't be happening.

Kai: *points staff threateningly at him*

Cole: *leans back casually in his seat*

Kai: *summons balls of ice and fire above Cole*

Cole: meep.

Ebony: *having a fit of laughter* this... this is too adorable! he- he thinks that he's... HAHAHAHA!

Kai: *eyes glow more red* I WILL KILL YOU. *points staff at Ebony's face*

Ebony: *smirks and pushes the staff away with her finger* you couldn't do -beep- to me.

Kai: Try-

Slushy: Cole now has to go on a date with Skylor.

Cole: *quickly scarpers to the other side of the room* -beep- this -beep- I'm out.

Skylor: *innocently walks past Kai pretending not to be slightly disturbed* let's get this over with Dirtclod. *both leave*

later...

Terra: *squinting at Kai as he attempts to subtly flirt with Lloyd. and get him on board with his world domination scheme* yeah... Kai isn't doing this right.

Slushy: he never was that good with girls.

Sakura: nope.

Ebony: *squints at Kai* is it bad I prefer him like this?

Jay: *sopping wet as he just melted himself out of a block of ice with an electrical fire* Eb-

Ebony: *freezes him again*

*Cole & Skylor walk back in*

Ebony: well, now that you're back, Cole here are five cakes.

Cole: *eyes light up* YAY!

Ebony: you must burn them all.

Cole: no.

Terra: you have to.

Cole: I can't...

Terra: yeah I guess you're just too much of a wimp. Seliel wouldn't be impressed...

Cole: that only works with idiots.

suddenly bucket of water.

Cole: 0.0 where's the flamethrower? *flamethrower flies through him* well... * points flamethrower at cakes and is about to cry* I'm so sorry... i'm so, so sorry... *burns the cake and closes his eyes* why would you do this to me?

Terra: because it's our job. anyway, Jay must marry Nya again.

Nya: yeah sure.

Jay: *attempting to start electrical fire from inside an ice block*

Kai: *eye twitches*

Terra: this is gonna be good.

Slushy: mm hmm. *popcorn appears in hands* you guys want any?

one wedding ceremony later...

Jay: so... would getting married twice still count as marriage or just an expensive waste?

Nya: *shrugs*

Sakura: Now... JAY MUST ELECTRICAUTE THOU SELF 100000000 TIMES.

Jay: damn it.

later...

Jay: *twitching*

Terra: nobody touch him! it could give you an electric shock!

Kai: gasp. how scary.

Jay: hey! sarcasm's my- *accidently electrocutes self again* ooh boy...

Slushy: next Jay has to have a death battle with Cole. so... 3, 2, 1... GO! *waits for two seconds* Jay wins.

Cole: what?! no! we didn't even do anything!

Slushy: but you're already dead.

Jay: *passes out*

Cole: *growls*

Ebony: ZANE MUST BURN HIS FALCON!

Zane: *looks around* where is my falcon?

Ebony: so someone did fix him...

Sakura: all it took was me snapping my fingers.

Slushy: lazy.

Zane: *looking around and calling for the falcon* I think he is smart enough to know that he must stay far away from this place.

Terra: *suddenly holding the falcon* is this him?

Zane: *sighs* yes... *takes falcon off Terra* I told you to stay away from here!

Falcon: caw.

Zane: forgive me for what I am about to do my friend.

Falcon: caw.

Zane: *smiles softly* thank you... *burns falcon*

Falcon: CAW! CAW! CAW! (translation: WHAT?! NO! THAT WASN'T WHAT I SAID AT ALL YOU -BEEP- IDIOT!)

Zane: alas poor falcon... I knew him well...

Terra: *looks at Zane awkwardly* well then... the ninjas now have to fight Ebony.

Ninjas: *groan*

Jay: *twitches*

Ebony: *grinning* oh this is gonna be fun.

Lloyd: at least we've got the staff...

Kai: if you're not gonna help me, it ain't gonna help you.

Cole: you -beep- -beep-.

Kai: *sticks tongue out at Cole*

Slushy: *ahem* Ebony vs. the ninjas... GO!

not that much later...

*all the ninjas minus Kai are on the floor in a heap with numerous injuries while Ebony and Kai wrestle with Chen's staff*

Ebony: get off the staff!

Kai: NO! IT'S MINE!

Chen: technically it's mine.

Elemental masters: technically, the powers are ours.

Ebony and Kai: NO ONE CARES!

Ebony: *smirks and kicks Kai in the gut, wrenching the staff out of his grip* sucker!

Garmadon: oh -beep-. things are about to get nasty.

Cast: ooh no.

Chen: this could be fun.

Clouse: *slaps Chen* what is your problem?! (try reading it in his voice. it's beautiful) may I remind you this may mean we are all about to die!?

Chen: oh yeah...

Kai: *eyes turn back to normal* -beep-

Slushy: remember scenario 616?

Sakura: yeah?

Terra: what?

Slushy: we are very prepared when it comes to dangerous... situations.

Sakura: and this is pretty high up on the list.

Terra: it's 616. how is that high up?

Sakura: if you counted every scenario...

Ebony: *looks down at the staff and snaps it in half* nope. not today.

Chen: you're kidding me.

Garmadon: HOW ON EARTH?!

Ebony: kid, when you have all the power in the world, you think a tiny little tingly feeling is going to change you?

Random mary-sue: exactly.

Ebony: -beep- off. nobody likes you.

Sakura: moving on... the ninjas each get five dare passes each that can't be destroyed or used by anyone other than the intended user. *snaps fingers and ninjas get dare passes*

Ninjas: HALLELUJAH! WE HAVE BEEN SAVED!

Ebony: *groans* There is a reason these were never a thing here... we're one of the most infamous dare shows of the fandom! maybe even on par with the diamond dare show! why do we give the ninjas an item that destroys the purpose of the show?!

Author: *facepalms* too far Ebony. you're ego has gone too far. and I know for a fact we are nowhere near as good as that show.

Ebony: this is not your place to decide.

Author: *points up at the summary above fic* my name is up there in the author section. not yours.

Ebony: shut up. we're trying to do a show here... go back to janitoring or something. *author rolls eyes* these are about hurting our favourite-

Author: please don't say that again... this could cost us the show.

other hosts: *look at each other sceptically*

Sakura: scenario 1?

Slushy: scenario 1.

Terra: geez these guys have too much free time.

Ebony: *throws brick at the author* GET OUT!

Author: *snaps fingers and the brick disappears through a portal* I'm just gonna have to monitor what you say more closely. *leaves*

Slushy: *ahem* ignoring that... everyone must-

Ninjas: SKIP!

Slushy: of course... everyone minus the ninjas must read the first chapter of the show.

Ninjas: *facepalm*

Lloyd: what a waste...

Cole: why didn't Zane tell me?!

Zane: I cannot predict the future.

Ebony: so~ you take it back?

Ninjas: yes- no... can we do that?

Ebony: *smirks* of course you can.

Ninjas: yes!

Ebony: well then... now for a trip down memory lane.

later...

*everyone is crowding around a laptop*

Author: I was so socially awkward... then again I haven't I'm- *sees Ebony glaring at her* nope. *walks out*

Jay: that gave me a heart attack! one moment... I was in Ninjago, the next...*shudders* here.

Cole: how is Ninjago doing anyway?

Slushy: gee Cole I dunno. how was it doing since the last HOUR you haven't been there?

Cole: point taken.

Ebony: *shifts uncomfortably in seat* that was... yeah I remember doing that... definitely.

Sakura: you having memory issues?

Ebony: let's go with that.

Garmadon: ah yes... the terrifying grey energy in the hands of a psychopath... why did you stop using that?

Ebony: first off, I'm more likely to be a sociopath. second... I can get you all to do what I want by your fear of consequences. so it's not as much of a necessity as back in the day.

Garmadon: of course.

Kai: Jay, when I showed you what a fanfiction is... I did not say 'go look at dare shows.'

Jay: they seemed innocent enough at first... then I couldn't stop...

Zane: you did not fulfil your promise of lacking bazookas and guns.

Ebony: *sighs* that was then and this is now. live with it.

Slushy: I feel excluded...

Sakura: yeah.

Ebony: you wanna handle the questions?

Both: nope.

Terra: I gotta say, the show seems to have changed since then. we barely ever say who the dares are from now.

Other hosts: it's quicker.

Terra: oh... okay then.

Ebony: we also didn't have a massive build up of dares like we do currently. haha! *sighs contentedly* man... I am so glad I'm not the author. welp. *shuts laptop and leans back in her chair* I reckon that's all the time we got for today, thank you to Terra for joining us for these last two chapters.

Terra: no problem.

Ebony: don't forget to leave a review and smash those favourite and follow buttons if you haven't already and we will see you all next time... BYEEE~!