As an Author, I have two things to say.
Number one is that I am sorry that this has not been updated for in such a long time, my reasons for such are complex and aggravating. But for any frustration that you have experienced. Of that, I am deeply sorry.

I hope that as you have read this fiction, it has brought some amount of happiness, sorrow, understanding, knowledge and empathy towards those who may not be in the same place as the person standing next to you. I would hope that just as Bill did, you would be the one to reach out to the person on the top of the roof, ready to jump, and end it all.
And that is all a writer can hope for. For you to take some amount of wisdom out of their works, for that, is why we write.

And the second is something that I have not said.
But in fact, the words of a wise, intuitive man by the name of Winston Churchill.

"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

Now, as you walk onto the road that will inevitably lead you to the last stretch of this journey, I hope that you do so with an understanding heart, that even as a story ends, another unfolds.

Sincerely, your humble writer.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Okay, this chick pisses me off.
I'm sorry that you get to be ranted at, but really!
She's a fucking head case!
And you wanna know the sad part?
She's my effing sister!

I don't know why I don't like her…
okay, yeah I do. It's because her life is working out well and mine isn't.

*sigh* okay, yeah yeah, I know you don't want to hear my whining.

How are you?...

Bill rolled his eyes and clicked the next email.
He was sitting on his bed reading through Hannah's old emails.

It was amusing to read the old, half conversations.

I think Oma's dog is possessed.
I mean come on!
That thing is like a planarian on steroids!

(Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense, just get over it man)

The stupid dog ate my shoe! I liked that shoe!

I'm gonna have to buy a new pair, and you knoooww how I just LOVE shopping.
God I hate shopping, it's like hell, only worse!

Jesus didn't descend into hell after he died on the cross; he was lowered into a shopping mall full of preps and doorknob stoners!
I'm pretty sure it's in the bible too…

Bill's eyebrows scrunched together as he hit the internet button.
He typed in the word planarian into the search engine,
some sort of non parasitic lake worm popped up.
Bill shuttered at the thought and went back to the emails.

YAY! For new albums! You'll have to get me a boot leg copy, that way I can have one before everyone else does!
haha, I saw you on TV the other day, You need to get more sleep!
You look like shit!

She had been right of course.
He did need sleep.

It had been a year and a half since he had seen Hannah.

The band had gone on tour, a new record had been put out, sales and popularity were at the highest in their careers.

But at night, he still felt that sorrow, the sadness for never having told Hannah how he felt.

Yeah, I know what you mean, that one chick, I can't ever remember her name,
What's her –bitchy face from RTL or whatever,
The one with the blond hair! You know who I'm talking about…
any way, she can't keep her mouth shut.

I'm not sure why people are so fascinated with Georg and Gustav's sex lives.

It's not like they haven't been fucking each other all along.

Bill had to laugh out loud at that one.

Hannah had been pushing the suspicion that the two friends were really gay and having an illicit affair.

Bill clicked an email from quite a while ago that read;

okay, I've been meaning to ask you this for quite some time now, what the heck are you talking about in "down on you"?!?!?!

I mean, the lyrics don't even make sense –

Bill still missed her.

It had taken a few weeks, but he was finely able to get Hannah's email out of Emily.
She had said that if Hannah wanted to contact him he would.

But when no emails came from Hannah for two months, he had given up on waiting and sent her one, it was a simple letter, but enough to tell her he cared.

It had taken another week for Hannah to get back to him.

Bill clicked on the message that she had sent back.

Hi Bill. I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to get back to you, I would have, but I couldn't. You can thank Nurse Ratched for that.

After I got home, my parents and I decided it was for the best if I checked into a rehab facility (When I say rehab, I really mean a mental institution.)

Dr. Lentz wasn't very happy about it.
She said that I didn't need it.
But my new therapist thinks I should.

I don't know, I love my parents and all, but I don't think they could really handle me at that point in time.

The sad part is I was doing so well, I hadn't tried to do anything, but after I got home –

Bill shuttered to think what was behind the "After I got home – "

Maybe it was a mistake leaving...

But I know that you don't need to hear about my issues, you've already done so much, said so much, held me for so long.

I hope you're happy Bill, I hope everything is okay.

I know that Emily has said that you've been doing well; I hope she's right…

Bill picked up the piece of crumpled paper that was lying next to him.

He smiled slightly and looked down at the text.

Something causing fear to fly
Rising like a dark night
In silence
Traveling like a broken boat
Heading for the sky
And I'm an island

I watched you disappear into the clouds
Swept away into another town

The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days

The sun is in the east,
Rising for the beasts
And the beauties
I wish that I could tear it down,
Plant it in the ground to warm your face

I built myself a castle on the beach
Watching as it slid into the sea

The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days

Through walls and harvest moons
I will fight for you

The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days

Hannah had left it behind, it had been a simple ball of paper next to the trash can when he found it.

Bill sighed and ran a hand over it, running his fingers over Hannah's messy scrawl.
He wondered if her handwriting could get any worse…

He wondered if she was really okay.

And even if she was, Bill wasn't.

Bill wasn't okay, he missed her terribly.

He had tried to get over her by working hard, it didn't work.

Nothing ever worked.

The whole band and staff could tell, even though he tried to hide it.

Maybe he wasn't a very good liar after all…


Song, last of days by A fine Frenzy.
You think Hannah can write songs?
HA!