AN: Hi! I know it's been a while for me but I haven't given up on this story or Collide. Sometimes I just have to take a step back from all the Olitz rattling around in my brain and do real life, this time just took longer than the others. Anyway, thanks to all who are still here sticking with this. And hello and thanks to all the ones who have just started following this story it's much appreciated.
Chapter 48
"Fitz, stop."
Olivia uttered the command breathlessly, playfully; whispering and smirking while she immensely enjoyed the feel of her husband's fingers and lips discreetly ministering to her while they waited outside the Upper East Side apartment Andrea Samuels occupied with her photojournalist husband and children.
Last night while alternating between periodically glimpsing the world's reaction to their joyous news through social media sites and television reports, closer acquaintances exhausted their phone lines via texts and voicemails while some were actually successful in making direct contact, speaking with the newlyweds to extend their best wishes and congratulations.
And during the course of briefer than brief conversations with several confidants and colleagues, Andrea included, Olivia accepted a lunch invitation that would also serve as a strategy session. It was to be a combination of the personal and professional, but mostly personal, as they began the initial steps to honor their promise to the esteemed columnist. Without any wrangling from either parties it was decided they would first meet on her turf to discuss their vision and guidelines for the spread to be penned by her. So once their morning routine and commitments were dealt with the couple left their home, only making a few stops along the way before arriving at their appointed destination.
"Sweetheart," Olivia whined halfheartedly, clenched teeth on display as she craned her neck to observe their thankfully deserted surroundings. "If you... if you keep it up this could get downright indecent and embarrassing very fast so I think it's in all our best interest for you to be a good boy and cool it for the time being."
"Oh really?" Fitz countered with raspy gasps of his own. In blatant defiance of her protest he inched closer and grunted his objection in her ear causing her body to flush with heat as she giggled, shifted and gripped the dessert box she held even tighter.
Just as she tilted her head in a move that would allow for her to reprimand him while her lips simultaneously brushed against his, they heard locks turn and the door swing open followed by the sound of a delighted shriek. Shocked back to reality by the outburst they quickly composed themselves and focused their attention on the woman in front of them.
Dressed casually in dark cropped trousers and a multi-colored blouse, their host ran a quick hand over her wavy ponytail and greeted them with an uncharacteristic and certainly unprofessional level of enthusiasm as she gave the striking duo the once over with warm eyes.
"Oh my goodness, Liv." Andrea practically cooed her excitement. "Let me look at you."
Happy to oblige her, with a beaming smile Olivia passed their contribution to the afternoon to Fitz and stepped forward, accepting Andrea's outstretched hands and the light shake she gave them.
"You are just absolutely positively darling, Mrs. Grant." She declared, her smoky voice emphatic and leaving no room for arguments. Studying her friend, Andrea admired how polished Olivia looked in a sleek white shirt dress accentuated with an oversized black tie. It momentarily made her rethink her own simple but classic look until she remembered it was an informal get together between friends.
Not yet completely over the shock that came with finding out that Olivia Pope had gone and done it, taken the plunge into marriage and motherhood with Fitzgerald Grant of all people she chuckled and shook her head. "Absolutely stunning and radiant and fab as if you didn't just turn the world on its ear, I don't know how you and your handsome husband are standing here all unfazed. Come in both of you."
After a round of more formal greetings and reintroductions between the Grants and the Samuels, husbands and wives separated. In the kitchen, perpetual sweet tooth Andrea eagerly lifted the lid of the box Olivia had hoisted on her and then laughed. "Brownies, Liv?"
Olivia shrugged."Those just aren't any brownies they're from Mimi's. You love Mimi's."
"I do. I was just expecting a five tier something or other. You sure Mr. President won't mind?"
"We told you before it's Fitz. And no Fitz won't mind. As a matter of fact if you aren't quick enough with those things he just might swipe them all." Inhaling, Olivia looked around the elegant yet homey space and took in the sight of vegetables, spices and breads as well as their various aromas. "What do you have going on in here?"
"I know it might be a bit much for lunch but since it's well documented that lamb is your husband's all time favorite dish lamb is what I'm serving up, alongside some stuffed zucchini and a few other surprises."
Impressed and suddenly famished Olivia couldn't control the bobbing of her head. "Nice. Very nice. But can you take it easy on me next time?" she joked. "I just married the man I don't need you stealing him out from under me with your culinary prowess."
"Yeah, okay," Andrea threw her head back and snickered. "Before you got here I found myself caught up in some of those online articles outlining you guys love story and the accompanying slideshows..." She held a hand to her heart and sighed. "The way that man looks at you even when it seems you're oblivious to him doing it...and that enviable palpable bond you share that's evident with just one glance? I'd say that you're good until death do you part."
"From your lips," Olivia muttered glancing Andrea's pleased expression. "What?"
"Ah, look at you!" She exclaimed with flailing hands. "I just can't get over it! How are you feeling, mommy?"
"So great!" Olivia's eyes sparkled as she answered honestly. Laughing, she continued and didn't hold back. "But also tired. And excited. Nervous. Energized. Extremely Horny. Happy. And so in love. You name it and it has coursed through me and sometimes all at once."
"Well it shows...the love and happiness part at least. And I'm ecstatic for you. Surprised but ecstatic. I didn't know it was so serious. I hoped good things for you and the relationship if it was what you wanted, but this," Andrea whistled. So I'm taking it this is what you meant would be worth my while if I didn't sit down with the former missus? You were pregnant then? And engaged? And you kept it all zipped until now?"
"Just pregnant. First came love and then our baby carriage. The road to marriage has been more...complicated."
"Eh, however bumpy or winding, it seems to have led you to a great place. It's also led to a story for the ages where men and women all over the world congratulate, curse and/or envy you both. And the both of you are extending the chance to little old me to capture some of it...I'm so glad that I trust you and that my mother didn't raise a fool. Even the thought of almost choosing what was behind door number one makes my stomach turn. Any word on how the ex is taking the news?"
"No. But I guess we should be grateful that we didn't awake to one of her special press conferences or calls asking for a response to her response. I have no clue how she's digesting it. But hopefully her silence means she's accepted what Fitz and I are to each other now and that she'll finally be ready to work with us when it comes to doing what's best for the children."
"Oh, blended families..." Andrea clucked her tongue in sympathy. "Your life must truly be an adventure professionally and personally."
"It seems like there's no time for rest with a life like mine but I manage, we all do. And you'll get your chance to see how."
"So it's time for business now?" Andrea inquired with a raised brow.
Olivia nodded. "I want this done right, Andy. I want to give you what you need, give the world a little of what they're craving while protecting my family above all else. Can you make that happen? Because I'm trusting you to make that happen."
"I can and I will. Although I have more than a sneaking suspicion you'll be guiding me every step of the way."
"I have some thoughts." Olivia admitted bashfully, aware that they could be straining the delicate line between friendship and professionalism.
"Of course; knowing you I didn't expect anything less. I'll take care of you, Liv. I assure you I can get the job done regardless of who leads the dance. Now, before we get into specifics, how about you come spend some time with my little angels?" Andrea smiled at the frightened hesitance on her friend's otherwise flawless features. "Now don't be shy it's high time you get yourself a little familiarity with the toddler set for a change, it can only do you good."
Once an afternoon amongst friends that included food, merriment and discussion centering on everything from marriage, parenting and baby advice; career and world happenings that had nothing to do with them or their relationship came to an end, Fitz and Olivia returned home where she promptly retired to their bedroom for a nap while he tended to business matters. When Fitz finally ventured upstairs to join Olivia in slumber or maybe even just hold her while he had his father-son time with Nicholas he was taken aback by the sight of an empty bedroom and immediately checked her office before moving on to other spaces and then ultimately finding her in the nursery.
Seeing her clad in the pajamas he had given her for Valentine's Day and wearing an expression that was so aloof that it teetered on the edge of solemn, Fitz's eyebrows knitted in concern. "Honey what's wrong?"
Turning to him as one hand remained on the crib and the other continued rubbing her stomach she searched his face and sighed. "I hope Nick knows just how much I love him. I hope he truly feels it because I do love him, so much."
"Of course you do and of course he does; you're his mama."
"I am. And I can't even begin to tell you what that does to me, how it feels experiencing him growing inside of me. Everyday he amazes me and humbles me and makes me feel so alive and wonderful. And I really can't wait for him to get here, to hold him in my arms."
Experiencing absolute joy at her words he smiled on approach and hugged her to him, kissing the top of her head. "Neither can I, Livvie. To have him right here with us where he belongs, there'll be nothing better. And the time for that to be reality is just right around the corner so why are you so...sad, honey?"
"What if he knows, Fitz? What if he somehow senses that I wasn't always...that I even considered there not being a him? How could he ever forgive me when I can barely forgive myself for it sometimes? Sometimes when it's quiet and I'm just lying there and I feel him moving and kicking inside me I feel so damn guilty."
If her previous admission brought him happiness that nearly propelled him into the stratosphere, Olivia voicing her doubts and contrition shot anguish straight to his gut. "Livvie, baby, please. I know right now you're dealing with more emotions and hormones than I could ever fathom but please. Please try not to do that to yourself. That time was so confusing, the knowledge of his existence so unexpected that you can't go around blaming yourself for a reaction to something you didn't see coming."
"Can you honestly stand here and say that you don't resent me; not even a little bit?"
"Not even a fucking twinge. You are my life, Liv. When I look at you, when I touch you, when I think about you or even when I dream about you, I feel nothing but love, gratitude, admiration and an unhealthy dose of pure, unadulterated lust. There's nothing you could do to change the love I feel for you. Absolutely nothing. You have to know that okay?"
Olivia nodded. "And I love you too more than I can say."
After capturing her mouth in a hungry kiss he released her and placed his hands on her stomach. "And this boy of ours will adore you too, just like everyone else who is lucky enough to have you in their lives. He'll never be privy to the thoughts and decisions that predate him unless we choose for him to be. Those kinds of things he'll never ever know unless we tell him. And I know you don't ever plan on doing it and neither do I, so where is all of this coming from? Do you even know where it's coming from?"
She pushed her hair out of her eye and huffed. "I suck with babies, Fitz. I thought I could do this but...Nick is going to be screaming to the hills until he can run for them all on his own."
"That's so not true," Fitz declared while the pad of his thumb reassuringly caressed the corner of her mouth. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"That's easy for you to say, the babies Samuels couldn't get enough of you. All afternoon it was one and then the other and then they simultaneously velcroed themselves to you. They were probably hypnotized by the sound of your voice." she decided wistfully. "Although you do give the greatest hugs too. You had them clinging to you, literally attempting to eat from the palm of your hands without any effort on your part besides your usual inherent charming deportment while I radiated new mommy awkwardness and all kinds of stranger danger apparently. This baby, my baby, is gonna come out wailing for a refund."
"Sweetheart, no he won't. He can't. When Nick is born he's going to look at you and know that you're the one who's been taking such great care of him by eating right, resting and exercising. He's going to hear your voice and remember how you sang to him and read to him...He's going to be so in love with you that he'll even forgive you for subjecting him to readings of those trashy rags you still refuse to give up even though we all keep telling you to."
"Hey," she said in mock offense as she pinched his chest. "We all have our vices in life and it's not my fault that he's craving the scoop on the latest Hollywood hookups more than he is a few scoops of ice cream these days."
"Okay, we'll go with that if we must," Fitz added with a roll of his eyes before he burst out laughing.
His laughter, confidence and sheer contentment with their life, with her, so obvious and infectious it left her no other option outside of letting go of her fears and anxiety and embrace him and what their future offered. And in no time flat she was holding him tight and laughing with him.
As she settled into him, Fitz rubbed comforting circles along the entire expanse of her back and squeezed shoulders. "It really is going to be okay, Livvie, you'll see. Before you know it you're going to find out that motherhood and the bond you share with Nick is going to be like no other, just wait."
Awed by the calm he exhibited her forehead creased with doubt. "How the hell do you stay so positive?"
"Because I'm dealing with the one and only Olivia Grant that's how. Getting to know you, living with you, and loving you I've come to find out there's nothing on this earth that you can't take on and master if you want to. You put up with me. You've already been more of a mother to Karen and Ger than..." Fitz cleared his throat and choked down Mellie's name in outright refusal to speak it. "Trust me once you've had a few months of holding Nick in your arms, of him falling asleep at your breast I believe you'll be looking back on this moment and laughing all over again."
"Are you counting down to the minute until you can say I told you so?"
Fitz tilted his head and smiled at her. "I'm not telling. I'm only standing by my assertion that our love and everything that's born of it is once in a lifetime. You and I together has already been life changing for the both of us; for everyone under this roof and Nick will be no different. Do you believe me?"
"I do."
"Then prove it to me, baby." He instructed facetiously with a lowered tone and sly grin that caused Olivia's giggle fit to return.
Even as laughter overtook her Olivia corrected her posture, stood on the tips of her toes and directed her lips to Fitz's. But at the sound of his ringing phone she planted her feet and pouted in frustration.
"Just one minute," he promised. After quickly fishing for and retrieving his phone, he scanned the i.d. on screen. "Hmm, it's Peter."
"Peter Who of the five hundred Peter's you know?" Her confusion and curiosity urging her to seek a definite answer to his revelation.
"Caldwell," he replied and raised a finger before he answered his call. "Hey, didn't I just speak with you last night?"
Olivia quietly watched Fitz's face light as he joked and laughed and talked with his friend. As the men went on and on, back and forth she stood in place and continued to observe and retain pieces of their conversation until it became too boisterous for her liking and then she moved away and towards Nikolas' closet.
Completely preoccupied with the purchases she had added as well as the never worn articles of clothing Andrea had gifted her with earlier that day she jumped at Fitz's touch.
"Whoa, it's just me, Livvie."
"I know." She quickly turned and apologized. "I'm sorry, you just caught me off guard. So what's gotten into Peter? Is he jonesing for more wedding details?"
"He's still giving me hell about flying under the radar with everything, but only in good fun, you know?"
"I do. I heard," she smiled. "So was he only calling to give you even more of a hard time or...?"
He scratched his ear and grimaced at her impatience. "That's what I was just about to get to. Believe it or not that call was more for you and about you than me."
Fascinated, she crossed her arms at her chest and closed the slight distance between them. "Was it? Now I'm really intrigued. Care to explain?"
"Peter and his family have a proposition for you. All you have to do is give it your yay or nay and then we'll take it from there."
Eyes dancing with the numerous possibilities she said, "I don't know why but I'm loving the sound of this already. Keep talking buddy."
As the corners of his mouth turned upwards he pulled her close and attached his lips to her ear."I'll be glad to, just not here. Let's take it to the bedroom so I can fill you in on all sorts of things."
Her energy and confidence renewed, Olivia allowed her hand to graze Fitz's butt as her arm wrapped around his waist. "I knew there was a reason I was loving the way you were talking."
"And just think I haven't even really started yet," he remarked and returned her affection.
Olivia laughed as Fitz kissed her temple. "Believe me I know. Lead the way please, sir."
