AN

Hello everyone, here's the latest update. I know it is short so another will follow very soon. Thanks for reviewing as always!


Cris's POV

When I woke up it took me a minute to realise I was on the pull out mattress in the Clearwater's guest room. Lee was still asleep and I let him be, hopefully his dreams were a nicer place for him at the moment.

I knew he intended to use today to sort out the release paperwork for Maxi's body. Although we had ran here, we were going to have to fly home with the coffin and that meant dozens of forms needed filling out. I offered to help him, but he said he wanted to do it alone. I knew him well enough to know he meant it and that he wasn't brushing me off. It also meant I was free to be whatever Leah needed today.

I laid in bed and examined my hand, it looked exactly the same as yesterday, before Leah had held it. I knew not to take it as anything more than it was, we were both having a hard time with things, it wasn't an invitation for us to be anything more than friends.

I heard movement in the house and decided to get up. I borrowed a spare towel from the linen closet in our room and headed to the bathroom. I was half dressed and as I walked out of the door I ran straight into Leah, she was in nothing but a towel, with her short black hair dripping wet. I watched transfixed as droplets fell from her head and ran down her shoulders and collar bone. I dragged my eyes from her body and to her eyes. To my surprise she wasn't angry, instead she was blushing; I was kind of relieved - I'd heard the tales of pain she had inflicted on people who admired her and was expecting the same lashing.

After an awkward moment of side stepping the same way, she left me alone to use the bathroom. By the time I was showered and dressed, her and Seth where to be found in the kitchen. Seth was wearing trousers and a shirt -which was unusual for him - and Leah was clothed in a light green dress.

"How are you?" I said to both of them.

Seth just shrugged and looked at the clock sadly. It was almost 10:00am. Leah looked almost as pitiful, but forced a grim smile.

"Come on, let's go." Leah gently took hold of Seth's arm and lead him out of the kitchen and to the front door. "Seth, you go get in the car. I almost forgot the flowers."

I heard her coming back into the kitchen and noticed two bunches of flowers tied together by the sink. I realised they were from their garden and now understood why I sometimes found Leah staring at them so sadly; she grew them for the graves.

As she came back in the kitchen I spoke, "Is there anything I can do for you while you're out?"

"Just knowing you'll be here when I get back is enough." She looked close to tears already and her voice didn't carry it's normal strong tone.

"I'm not going anywhere." I confirmed and saw an invisible weight lift off her shoulders as she let out a sigh. She left and this time I heard the door shut behind her.

Hours passed, Lee had made an appearance shortly after Seth and Leah left and called a cab to take him into town. Maxi's parents had at least given him enough money for flights and things while we were here. I was pretty much left to my own devices. I used the time to call home and check on Corey. The rest of my pack were busy arranging the funeral for when we got back. I couldn't have been prouder of Corey, he had stepped up to the mark and was running things like a pro.

A little while after I got off the phone it rang again. I thought it might be Corey calling back so I answered. To my surprise it was Jake and he sounded just as stunned to hear me. He was ringing to check on Leah and Seth, but I told him they weren't back yet. We used the opportunity to talk over everything that was happening. I quite liked Jake, but I often got the impression he wasn't as keen on me.

The rest of the morning had been quiet and peaceful, and it was about 2:00pm when the front door opened and closed. I jumped up from the sofa to see that Leah was alone.

"Where's Seth?" I hoped to God he hadn't left her on her own.

"He shot straight into the woods, he needed to run." She looked drained and her eyes were red and puffy. "You're still here."

"I promised, didn't I?"

As I spoke, tears fell from her eyes.

I immediately moved to her and pulled her in my arms. I couldn't ever remember being this comfortable about holding her. I had always maintained my distance, but this was different. She wasn't just sad and hurt, she was grieving. As soon as she was against me, she relaxed and I felt her sob quietly.

I lead her to the coach and sat down, pulling her with me and into my arms. She didn't fight it and actually held on to my shirt with her tiny hands, while she buried her head into my chest and let the tears fall freely. I stroked her head and we sat together, until she finally drifted of to sleep. I looked down at the woman lying on my chest and felt such compassion. Even today on the anniversary of her father's death, she wasn't weak. I was pretty sure she had held onto these tears until she got home for Seth's sake.

I also knew just how important today was; it was ten years since she became the wolf that she believed killed her father.

She had carried the guilt and burden of his death alone for a decade, and it was only in the last few months that things had come to a head. Ten years it had taken for her to hit rock bottom; if she wasn't so damn strong and stubborn it might have happened years before, but she had picked herself up until she couldn't any longer. Finally she snapped about the pregnancy thing and went to Hawaii, but on her return a number of events had made her face up to her problems.

She had shown me all of this in depth during a patrol in the previous week so that I knew what was upsetting her. I had felt her mood spiralling for days and was worried; since I had left she had been happier in herself and I didn't want her going backwards. I now understood everything:

It had taken ten years for her to accept the wolf inside, and by finally accepting it, she felt like she was condoning the part of herself which she believed killed her father. More than this, she had always felt like being happy was a betrayal to her parents' memory.

Today was therefore the official acceptance of her fate. Finally, she was becoming the person her parents wanted her to be and they weren't even here to see it. She loved her parents and missed them, but today, was a farewell to everything she was and a new dawn on everything she could be.

There was never any doubt in my mind: I had to be here with her because I knew how deep her true feelings ran. I closed my eyes, absorbing the pain both she, Seth, and Lee must be in currently.

I must have fallen asleep myself because when I woke Leah was still curled up on my lap sleeping, but the room was dark. I tried to reach for the lamp on the side table without waking her, but my fingers came an inch short from it.

To my surprise the lamp on the opposite side of the room flicked on. I could have laughed if it was any other day, but Seth was sitting in his usual armchair staring at me holding Leah. His expression was blank. I suddenly understood how people felt when I was indifferent towards them; I had no idea what to think.

"Hi," I whispered, so not to wake Leah.

"Hi." Seth nodded. "Don't you think she would be more comfy in her bed?"

He gave me a small smile, which relieved me. Seth had been the one conspiring with me to be here for her today. I couldn't bear it if he suddenly turned on me.

"Yeah, sure."

Not wanting to push it, I lifted her up lightly and carried Leah to her room. I laid her on the bed and rather than disturbing her, placed a nearby blanket over her. She was out for the count, so I kissed her head and whispered good night in her ear.

By the time I went back downstairs, Seth and Lee were both sitting quietly in the lounge and the TV was on low. I joined them and we spent the rest of the evening in respectful quietness.