"Oh my, that can't be good."

Walter gave his colleague a puzzled look as he poked his head around the break room door to get a better view of what had held Natalia's attention for the last few minutes. "Who's that?" he asked as he ripped off a piece of his apple Danish and popped it into his mouth.

"That's Sargent Murray, he's the Chief's personal aide," she replied as she pulled Walter quickly back in the room, having spotted only moments earlier Calleigh turning to look over her shoulder in the direction of the break room.

"Why are H and Calleigh with him?"

She rolled her eyes at Walter's seeming naivety. "Well, he wants to speak to them….obviously."

"You reckon it's got anything to do with that IAB officer who's been hanging around here the last few days?"

"I don't doubt it. God knows what that little witch put in her report."

"You think she found something?" Walter asked as he took a sip from his can of coke.

Her face fell at his words, how Walter could consider, even for a minute, that Calleigh or Horatio had done anything untoward. They were seasoned crime scene investigators and honest cops, there was never any doubt in her mind that both of them were above suspicion. Yet she couldn't seem to silence that nagging little voice that spoke to her, things had not been right since the Lieutenant had returned from his enforced sabbatical. Eric and Ryan were at each other's throats and there was an air of distrust that shrouded the lab each day.

Horatio had hardly been seen most days, hidden away in his office or in some dark corner of a little-used lab room somewhere in the recesses of the building. When he had been seen he'd been quiet and evasive, refusing to look her or any of their colleagues in the eye, brushing off their obvious concern for his wellbeing. He certainly hadn't been out in the field for a number of days; it struck her as such an odd thing, for him to stay at the lab whilst the rest of his team attended crime scenes without him.

It had always appeared to her that he had a sixth sense about crimes taking place in his city, more often than not he would be the first officer and CSI on scene, questioning witnesses and giving orders as if it were second nature to him. Of course it was natural to him, he was the head of the Crime Lab and a Lieutenant in the Miami Dade Police Department, leading cases was what he did.

The Horatio that had returned to the lab this past week was certainly not the strong and confident man that she remembered and definitely not the same man who risked his life jumping off a twenty foot high pier with a bullet in his guts to free her from a sinking car. The man who had returned was hesitant and unsure of himself, giving the impression that he had no faith in what he was trying to accomplish by being here.

The man walked and talked like Horatio, yet he was an imposter and certainly not the man she had grown to admire. The light in his eyes and the fire in his belly had been extinguished by what had happened to him. Gone was the will to fight that made him such a formidable opponent to the criminal underworld of this city, there were times over the last few days that she'd wanted to grab him by his suit jacket and shake him, as if that would make him see sense.

This was the man who had taught her never to give up, that even when the road seemed long and hard that there was still something worth fighting for. Would she have ever got away from her abusive husband that second time without knowing that Horatio was in her corner, ready to back her up when needed?

After being uncovered as a mole within the Crime Lab, Horatio had been the one to reach out to her and bring her into the fold, making her feel a part of the team and trusting her when no one else in the building wanted to. He had placed his faith in her, obviously seeing something that he thought was worth nurturing. He'd held out his hand to her and she had took it without a second thought, instinctively knowing that just being around people like Horatio and his team would make her a better person.

Why were he and Calleigh being escorted to the elevator by the Chief's aide, had Sargent Craig found something or had Horatio decided that enough was enough?

She prayed to God that the answer to both questions was no. The latter question gave her pause for thought; Horatio had seemed to carry an air of resigned defeat around him since his return. Was he really going to give up everything and walk away from the facility that he had worked so tirelessly to build over the last fifteen years?


Ryan sipped at his coffee tiredly as he ran a hand over his haggard features. Hillary had finally agreed to meet with him after days of pestering her and he was secretly glad to have someone to talk to.

This week had been the worst he could remember since joining the Crime Lab, even worse than when Horatio had been abducted and tortured by the Malucci's. At least then they had the hope that they would find their leader before it was too late, there was simply too much going on to believe otherwise. Their focus had to be on tracking the Malucci's down and bringing Horatio back in one piece, they didn't have time for doubts or fears; the only thing that mattered was finding their boss.

Even that first harried week at the hospital had been better than this, they'd rescued Horatio in the nick of time, his fate was in the hands of the Gods and the doctors and nurses that tended to him. As injured as he was, it gave Ryan hope when he sat by Horatio's bed watching his chest rise and fall as the medical staff continued to pump him full of God knows what just to keep him alive.

As the days wore on it became more apparent that the man who had been pulled from the choppy waters of Miami was not the same man who Ryan had grown to admire so much. At first he'd put it down to the medications and the injuries, but as time passed it was becoming startling obvious to him that something was wrong.

Horatio had always been a father-figure to him, taking the young and reckless officer under his wing and guiding him through the pitfalls of his professional life. There were many times when he became jealous of Eric and the relationship that he had with Horatio, there was a deep bond between the two of them, united by family and ultimately tragedy. It was as if Eric wanted to flaunt the fact that Horatio cared for him so deeply, rubbing his face in it at every opportunity. Eric knew he was Horatio's favourite and seemed to take great delight in showing Ryan that he would never be as close to their leader as he was.

Horatio had made a point of rarely calling Ryan by his first name and it was something that he felt hard to accept at times. He would have done anything to prove his worth to the Lieutenant, but his poor choices in his personal and professional life often left him feeling as if he had let the older man down. Horatio had never been a man to reveal much in the way of emotions around his team, always keeping to the periphery of the group, being a part of the team yet keeping himself apart from them.

Horatio's reticence was understandable, he'd been through so much both in New York and Miami that it made him wary and distrustful of opening himself up to further heartache. It was little wonder that he had closed himself off so much; perhaps it was the only way the Lieutenant knew how to survive, to carry on each day carrying such a heavy burden yet telling no one of his suffering.

He had been looking forward to Horatio's return to the lab, Calleigh had been a more than capable replacement but it felt as if there was something missing when their leader was not around. He seemed to have the enviable ability to make the whole team feel focused and that the work they were doing would serve to make their city a safer place to be. Horatio gave the team a purpose and direction, infusing them with his own steely determination never to let the bad guys win.

From the moment Horatio had entered the break room on his first day back, Ryan could sense that something was missing. The man had said all the right words yet they seemed hollow, as if the Lieutenant was merely going through the motions of what he was expected to do. The incident at the warehouse had only served to reinforce his belief that Horatio was far from fit enough to be out in the field.

It had come as a huge shock to witness Horatio freeze, never in all of his time on the team had he ever seen the other man hesitate to take a shot. Horatio was a fine marksman, his bullets always found their target and yet the man had frozen completely as a suspect drew his gun on him. It was only his own quick thinking that had saved them all, he had wounded and disarmed the suspect before Horatio had even managed to break free from whatever memory had caused him to hesitate.

He'd ended up being stuck in an impossible situation, caught between his loyalty to Horatio and his loyalty to the team. It had been pure luck that neither he, Eric or Horatio had been injured in the warehouse, Ryan was experienced enough to know that the next time they might not be so fortunate. Whatever was bothering Horatio was weighing on him so heavily that he was unable to function out in the field; didn't Eric understand that he had to consider the safety of the team and not just the personal feelings of the people around him?

There was never any doubt in his mind that Eric would fight Horatio's corner, the Cuban idolised his superior and would gladly cheat, lie or steal for the older man if it meant protecting him. In all good conscience, Ryan knew that he could not say the same, if Horatio had taught him anything it was that lying and hiding the truth never did anyone any good, it would all come out in the end, one way or another.

And what had he done? He'd slipped into old habits as a way of avoiding what was staring him in the face, Horatio had been the one to guide him back on to the right path when his gambling addiction began to take over his life and affect his professional duties. He'd been given a second chance and had promised his mentor at the time that he would not let him down again. It was a promise that he had managed to keep for a number of years until he suddenly found his support network ripped away from him.

When things got too much and the urge to gamble became more than he could bear he would seek out the advice of his superior. Horatio had always employed an open door policy and was readily available to listen to the problems of others, offering his unwavering support when they did so. The Lieutenant had been able to keep him on the right track for some time now, despite the odd blip when his choice of partner in his personal life turned out to be less than wise. Horatio was always there, no matter what, a constant in his life that he knew he would always be able to rely on.

Now he'd been confronted with the fact that Horatio was no longer there to support him and a part of him wished that the older man had died out at sea. At least it would prevent him from watching the fragile shell of the man he used to know haunting the halls of the Crime Lab like some kind of ghost, forever trapped between worlds. It was painful to watch the demise of a man he considered so strong that in his own eyes he was almost invincible.

Without Horatio's support he felt lost, he had tried to fight it but the need to regain some sort of stability had driven him to seek out underground poker games. He needed a coping mechanism, some kind of escape from the impossible situation he found himself in. Gambling gave him a thrill, made him feel as if he were powerful when everything around him was falling apart and out of his control. At the poker table he was in control of his own destiny, or so he thought.

He'd given Eric the brush off in the locker room, warning the other man to stay out of his business, storming out to the parking lot like a child. He was wary of Eric's intentions, all through their time together on the team the Cuban had blown hot and cold with him, leaving him confused and wary as of the other man's intentions. There had been times that Eric had proved to be a good friend and others when he would cut him down with some kind of caustic remark; it left him feeling as if he never knew where he stood with him. Each time Eric held out a hand in friendship he seemed to snatch it away again only moments later. Was Eric trying to make peace with him or was this another one of his fickle moods?

It didn't really matter either way, sitting in his car outside the rundown motel it occurred to him what it was that he was doing. He felt sick to think that he was sitting outside an illegal poker game throwing away the second chance that Horatio had given him. It hit him suddenly, that to enter that room would be the end of his career, that he would never be able to make things right with Horatio or the team again.

Horatio had warned him that he'd stuck his neck out for him by taking him back and that any further slip ups would mean that his fate would be tied in with that of his erratic young colleague. So what if Horatio wasn't fit enough to be out in the field, his decision on his future should not be in the hands of his reckless young charge. He had faith that Horatio would do whatever it took to get back to where he once was, after all he had been through it didn't make sense for him to give up now.

The Lieutenant had placed faith in him, whether it was warranted or not was beside the point, he owed it to the man to do the right thing. Turning the key in the ignition, he gave one last glance at the motel room before shaking his head and driving away, infused with a new sense of determination that he would not let his superior down again. Things were messed up at the moment, Horatio's head was all over the place whilst all around him lost theirs too, it was not the behaviour that the Lieutenant would have expected or deserved from his team. They needed to be united in their support of him, not fighting between themselves and making careless choices. He hoped that his indiscretion a few days ago would never come to light, that Horatio would never be any the wiser to what he'd done. Somehow he knew that the wily Lieutenant would find out one way or another, but he took heart in the fact that Horatio would most likely forgive him and guide him further back on to the right path.

He'd got so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice the arrival of his old colleague until she had sat down opposite him, ordering a coffee as she did so.

He smiled at her as she made herself comfortable. "Hil, I'm glad you came…..I've been wanting to talk to you…."


"I'm glad that's over," Calleigh remarked as she blew a long strand of her blonde hair out of her face as she and Horatio stood outside the Chief's office.

"Indeed."

Two hours had never seemed so long as the Chief asked them question after question about the Malucci incident, Calleigh's actions whilst in charge and the awkward subject of their relationship.

"It's given us a lot to think about, hasn't it?" she asked quietly as they made their way back to the elevator that would take them back to the Crime Lab.

"It has."

She let out a small sigh; Horatio often became monosyllabic when he was in a pensive mood. He needed time to brood over the conversation they'd just had with the Chief. He'd opened up to her much more these past few days but she tempered her enthusiasm to bombard him with questions knowing that he needed time to himself to assimilate the information before making his next move.

"You've got another meeting with the therapist today?" she asked as they stood side by side in the elevator as they rode down to the fourth floor.

"I have."

"Do me a favour and talk it over with him, ok?"

He turned to look at her briefly and reached for the hand that was closest to him, giving it a light squeeze before letting go as the elevator chimed. "I will."

She watched him go; making his way silently down the corridor, his shoulders weighed down with the weight of responsibility once more. Her only hope was that in time he would make the right decision.