lights that used to blind us / somehow they will guide us through the night


In the hours after Mia left, Amanda couldn't stop thinking about her baby. She and Sonny were immediately distracted by a screaming match between Luca and Jesse over markers and personal space, then Ruby needed to be fed and put to sleep, but Amanda's mind kept wandering despite it all. She had always wrestled with the idea of fate - sometimes she thought the 'everything happens for a reason' thing was a sugarcoated cop-out for people who couldn't come to terms with the fact that sometimes crappy things just happened - but maybe for once she could put her cynicism aside. Maybe, this was the universe arranging things just so for the two of them. In the end how it came to be was irrelevant, as long as the distinct yearning in Amanda's heart was satisfied.

"You look just like your daddy when you smile like that," Amanda murmured to Ruby, who was sleepily grinning up at her mother from her changing table with the type of smile that crinkled the corners of her blue eyes. Warm and clean from her bath, she allowed Amanda to guide her limbs into her onesie, covered in little pink stars, without a fight. "Maybe tonight you can sleep in your own bed for more than four hours," she suggested as she scooped Ruby up into her arms. She kissed the side of her youngest daughter's head and gave her a gentle squeeze, closing her eyes as she held her little body close. "I love you so much," she whispered into the baby's fine brown hair before she set Ruby down in her crib. She turned on the soft glow of her mobile overhead, flicked off the light and slipped out of the room.

As she began to walk down the stairs, the cat galloped in the opposite direction just as Amanda heard Sonny say from the kitchen, "Luca, I swear, you pull the cat's tail again I'm puttin' you outside, not Fluffy. Y'hear me?"

"Noooo..." Luca whined, dramatically scampering into the kitchen from the living room. "We just playin'..."

"How would you like it if somebody followed you around, yankin' at your arm all the time, huh?" Sonny challenged him, waggling his eyebrows at his son.

Luca flailed his toddler limbs before flinging himself against his mother once she reached the kitchen, burying his face against her hip. "Mama..."

Amanda smoothed a hand over his blonde head and simpered with a little smirk, "yes, baby?" Sometimes she got a secret, competitive thrill when one of their children ran to her when Sonny disciplined them over something petty.

"Oh, no. Don't 'yes, baby' him after terrorizin' an innocent animal," Sonny scoffed with a chuckle.

"An 'innocent animal,' huh?" Amanda laughed. "Remember when you wanted to euthanize Fluffy on Christmas?"

He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his spot. "I don't recall that conversation."

"Mm." She peered down at her son and gave him a knowing look. "You really shouldn't do that to the cat, Luca."

Luca pouted. "Sorry," he mumbled into her thigh, then begrudgingly looked over at Sonny and added, "sorry, daddy."

A little smile flickered across Sonny's features. "S'okay, buddy."

"Can I stay inside?" Luca asked, genuinely nervous about his father's teasing threat.

Sonny grinned and made a show of appearing contemplative. "Hmm, whaddya think, mama? Can he stay?"

"I guess so, he's gotten too big for the cat door now..." Amanda sighed dramatically.

Luca giggled and shook his head against his mother's leg. "I can't fit through there!"

"You're gonna need a serious bath to get all this marker off of you," she told the little boy as she eyed the scribbles up and down his arms. "So you-"

"Noooo!" he cried in protest, bolting away from her at the mere mention of a bath and scurrying back into the living room to fling himself against the sofa.

Rolling her eyes, Amanda dropped onto a stool at the island. She rested her elbow on the counter top and her palm in her chin, blue eyes watching the warm glow of flickering candles inside all of the little pumpkins they had carved, now lined up by the refrigerator. Later, they would set them on the stoop by the front door and hope - like every New York City family at Halloween - that no neighborhood kids would smash them for amusement in the middle of the night. Lifting her gaze, Amanda saw Sonny leaned against the opposite counter, arms crossed loosely over his chest, studying her. She knew exactly what he was thinking about. "So..."

Sonny nodded slowly. "So."

Suddenly shy, Amanda lifted her chin from her palm but dropped her gaze. She picked off some of the chipping taupe polish from her thumb nail. "What Mia asked earlier..."

"You didn't say much," Sonny noticed.

"Yeah," she admitted sheepishly.

"I saw the look on your face," he continued.

Amanda looked back up at him and automatically scowled. "There was no look on my face," she insisted - a total lie.

A small smile toyed at his mouth as he raised his eyebrows in skepticism. "Yeah, there was."

"What kind of look, Detective?" she challenged him with a roll of her eyes.

"Like... a hopeful one," Sonny responded gently.

She felt heat rise in her cheeks. "Okay," she grumbled in defeat. She gnawed at the skin around her nail as she peered up at Sonny through her bangs meekly. "So what if it was?"

He shrugged. "So, that's alright."

She dropped her hand from her mouth. "I think about it sometimes."

Amanda expected him to smile, but instead, Sonny heaved a sigh. The twinge of disappointment she had preemptively felt hours ago surfaced once more - but this time it seemed to be rooted in evidence. "What, Sonny?" she pressed him anxiously.

"No, I get it," he insisted quickly, "you know that I'd have ten kids. But..."

"But?"

He walked closer to her until the corner of the island was between them. He lowered his voice as he explained, "but we're stretched thin as it is. With another baby one of us is gonna have to work less or Audrey is gonna have to work more. Either way we're gonna end up spendin' more and probably not makin' more money."

"I'll cut my hours," Amanda suggested eagerly. "I'll stay home more."

Sonny offered her a wry smile. "You say that now, 'Manda, but after two weeks of maternity leave you always end up rippin' your hair out and calling the precinct six times a day." His grin flickered, then faded from his face completely. "And it doesn't fix the money issue."

"This'll be different!" she promised energetically, reaching over to grab at his wrist. She squeezed it in emphasis and met his eyes, her own big and hopeful; she was suddenly desperate to make him feel the flurry of butterflies she had experienced when Mia had first offered them the opportunity to adopt her child. "This'll be a real change. A permanent one." Another squeeze. "And the money, we can do it. We can figure it out. Look at this house! We made this house work. We went from having Jesse sleeping in a glorified closet and Luca in the living room to buying a real house."

Sonny looked down at her hand around his wrist and nodded slowly, but he hardly seemed convinced.

She felt defeated and disconcerted by his lack of enthusiasm. She slumped back in her chair and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, her brows knitted tightly together in frustration. "I hate when we have conversations where you make me feel like I'm a little kid askin' their old man for a puppy," Amanda huffed.

Lifting his eyes, Sonny frowned. "You always react this way when I'm givin' you facts you don't like," he retorted. "I'm just bein' logical and you're takin' it personally."

"It is personal, Sonny!" she exclaimed, then cast a cautious look over her shoulder into the living room. Luca was in a trance on the couch watching television, while Jesse was still coloring - just at the coffee table now instead of in the kitchen. Thankfully, neither of them seemed interested in their parents' conversation.

His eyes widened as if he was genuinely surprised by her reaction. "Okay, you wanna get personal?" he replied, his voice low and level although she could sense he was about to say something she definitely would not appreciate. "What's personal is the 2011 Cubs-Braves game you're - we're - still payin' a debt on. And the 2012 Knicks-Miami game."

Amanda stiffened as a hot rush of embarrassment washed over her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew the remnants of her gambling addiction still haunted them, but she actively avoided thinking about it. She was lucky that Sonny was so good with keeping their finances organized; with their combined income he took ownership of every bill they had. "I thought those were almost paid off..."

"With interest it's twenty-two thousand dollars worth of debt, Amanda. I'm sorry, but your accountant's doin' the best he can here," he remarked dryly, the sarcasm in his voice tinged with a hint of what she was sure was resentment.

"I didn't mean it like that," she insisted quickly, cringing at her own words. She hadn't intended to imply that it was his job to fix the problems she created - and that he wasn't doing it competently. "You're just so good with managing money..."

"Yeah, well, I can't make it appear outta no where," Sonny grumbled.

Dropping her gaze, Amanda stared intently at the surface of the island. They stood in silence for several minutes, the only sound Luca's television show in the adjoining living room. It was obvious neither of them knew what to say next. Eventually Sonny moved away from her: out of the corner of her eye she saw him drift to the opposite end of the kitchen to rifle through some mail. Amanda supposed that was an indicator that the conversation was officially dead. She could feel a distinct tightness creeping into her throat every second she sat alone at the counter; she was becoming overwhelmed with both shame and the letdown she had thought she had prepared herself for. With an exhale, she slid off of the stool and wordlessly walked upstairs.

Amanda closed herself in their bedroom. She wasn't angry at Sonny - although she did despise the fact that he was right - she just she didn't want to get visibly emotional with Jesse and Luca so near by. Hot tears stung her eyes the second the door closed and, now alone, she allowed them to fall in privacy. She sunk down on the edge of the bed and stared blankly out the window; the houses in Astoria were so close together she could practically see inside her neighbor's bedroom. A hand drifted back to her mouth, fingers tugging at her lower lip, her thumb nail digging into the flesh there in hopes of distracting herself with the sting. It had been awhile since her guilt around her gambling had bubbled up to the surface, but it burned just as hot as ever, as if it had only been festering inside of her, waiting for the right moment to reemerge.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there alone with her own thoughts, but eventually she heard the door creak open. She didn't turn around; Amanda was well-acquainted with Sonny's footsteps.

"Hey, 'Manda, look. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to say what I said, how I said it," Sonny apologized, his voice tight with worry as he hurried to her side. He sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. "I'm really sorry."

"No, you're right. You're stating facts," Amanda told him wetly, brushing tears away from her eyes with her knuckles, "and if you resent me a little for havin' to deal with the mess I've made all these years later, I don't blame you." She shrugged her slumped shoulders as she admitted, "I mean, hell, I resent me." Resting her elbows on her knees, she put her face in her hands. Her fingers gripped the roots of her blonde hair before smoothing it all back over her head. "Sometimes I feel like... for my entire life, these mistakes I've made are gonna follow me around and punish me forever. Not just me, but you, the kids," she whispered, "and I... to think that gambling could take this from me too, I..."

"Amanda..." Sonny pressed up closer against her side, his arm encircling her back. "Maybe I, maybe I got a little ahead of myself, okay?" he continued gently, "we should look at everything - our budget, our schedules - and see if it's doable. I just... I worry about makin' sure all of us are taken care of," he admitted. "I want all of us to have a good life and I want us to be part of it - not just passin' our kids off to whoever while we work our asses off ninety hours a week."

She nodded into her hands. "I know."

"But... c'mon, talk to me," Sonny urged her softly, his arm squeezing her.

Amanda sniffled. Slowly, she sat up straight again, wiping at her eyes. "I'm so thankful for Ruby. This isn't about her not bein' enough. Or any of the kids not bein' enough. But, but ever since we lost... the other baby I just, I've had this feeling like something is missing," she admitted quietly, "like we were supposed to have another kid, four kids. I know you think I'm crazy for-"

"I don't think you're crazy, Amanda," Sonny interrupted. "I've always trusted your instincts. As a cop, as a friend and as a mother." He heaved a sigh. "I've thought about what it'd be like to have another kid. You know I've always wanted a big family. After what happened with Ruby, though-"

She shut her eyes and shook her head, not wanting him to get into the details of the traumatic birth of their last child. "I know."

With his other hand, he reached over and gently brushed strands of hair away from Amanda's face, tucking them behind her ear. He tilted his head to look at her. "But, alright, maybe it was meant to happen this way instead."

She peered over at him tentatively and searched his eyes: his expression had softened significantly. "I don't care where a baby comes from. In this situation, he's innocent in it all, just like Mia is," Amanda whispered. "I meant what I said earlier, Sonny. I know it'll be a change but if Liv lets me, I'll tell her I wanna work more normal hours. Luca'll be in preschool, Jesse's gonna be in the first grade, then it'll just be Ruby and this baby at home. I'm ready to do that. I want to do that."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I gotta be honest, I can't believe I'm hearin' you say this."

"I don't know what's changed, Sonny," she admitted. "I love my job. I don't wanna give it up, but I wanna see our kids grow up, too. Maybe that's selfish, because I put us in this crappy financial position in the first place, but..." She shrugged. "But when Mia came over, and she said that she wanted us to have him, it was like... something clicked. It just felt right." She chewed her bottom lip before admitting meekly, "and I wanted you to feel it, too."

Sonny nodded slowly, his gaze drifting around the room thoughtfully. After a moment of quiet, he said, "Mia's my niece. She's family. I don't want this kid - family - goin' into foster care. Not if there's a way you and me can give him a good life here." He glanced over at Amanda with that smile - the one that crinkled the corners of his kind blue eyes. "I'd be proud to raise four kids with you, just like my parents did with me and my sisters." He set his hand on her leg, his thumb grazing over her kneecap. "My thing was, with how sick you got, I wasn't willin' to lose you in the process. You're right: we are lucky to have Ruby, but we're lucky to have you, too."

Holding his gaze, Amanda nodded.

"I want this to work, Amanda," he went on earnestly, "I just don't want to do this impulsively, that's all I was sayin'."

She rubbed sheepishly at her nose with a knuckle before frowning. "The money. I know I can't fix the money."

"It's not about fixin' anything," Sonny told her, "we've just gotta readjust."


On a brisk Thursday evening, Amanda scurried alongside Sonny as they walked down the sidewalk toward Teresa's Staten Island home. She tugged her gray beanie over her ears to shield them from the biting cold; she couldn't believe how harsh the October weather was.

"If the weather's like this for trick-or-treating next week, I'm stayin' home," she huffed, her breath leaving her mouth in clouds.

"If you think I'm wrestlin' Ruby into that bumble bee costume by myself, you've got another thing comin'," Sonny grumbled, hunched over in his own jacket with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Hm. That is a pretty cute costume," Amanda recalled. "I don't want you taking all the credit for it with the neighbors." As Teresa's house grew nearer, the knot in her stomach coiled tighter. She went to bite her thumb nail, but remembered her hands were covered by her leather gloves. She cast a glance over at Sonny. "I'm nervous."

Looking over at Amanda, he gave her a little nod. "I am, too."

Thankfully, it only took a few seconds for Teresa to retrieve them from her doorstep. She eagerly pulled them inside of her warm home, grabbing at their coats and hats in the process. "Come in, come in," she urged them. "Thanks for comin' over, guys." She led them directly into the formal dining room, where Mia and an unfamiliar man sat at the large mahogany table.

Mia stood up immediately to greet them. "Hi, Uncle Sonny, 'Manda." She hugged them both tightly, her big belly between them - but covered beneath several layers of clothing.

"This is Brady Clark, the family lawyer I was tellin' you about," Teresa introduced the unfamiliar man, who got up and strode across the room to be introduced.

"Oh, yeah, hi. Dominick Carisi, call me Sonny," Sonny said, shaking Brady's hand warmly before gesturing to Amanda. "This is my wife, Amanda."

Amanda smiled before holding out her own hand for Brady to take. "Hi, nice to meet you."

"Shall we get to it?" Brady asked lightly as he returned to his seat. "Your sister told me a little about you both..."

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," Sonny chuckled as he sat down.

Amanda took a seat next to him, across from Teresa and Mia, with Brady at the head of the huge table. Above them hung a delicate chandelier, the little beaded details jingling every time anyone made even the slightest movement. Amanda realized she was holding her breath; the gathering felt uncomfortably formal, although everything at Teresa's house did, given her extravagant taste in furniture. It always made her wonder just how much her ex-husband Tony sent her in alimony.

"No, no, all good things," Brady insisted with a smile. He began to rifle through his leather folio, peering over a document they couldn't see. "Both NYPD... two, no - three kids, right?"

Sonny nodded. "Right."

"How old?" the lawyer wondered.

"Jesse's six, gonna be seven," Amanda answered, "Luca's three. Ruby will be one in January."

"Are all your children biological or have you been through this process before?"

"Yes - well, kind of."

"Jesse, she isn't biologically mine but I adopted her a few years ago," Sonny interjected.

"Her father has never really been in the picture," Amanda added awkwardly. "It's, uh, a long story."

Brady nodded in apparent understanding, reshuffled his paperwork, then looked around the table. "So, where are we at in this process?"

For an agonizing moment, nobody said anything; eyes shifted nervously around the table in silence. Finally, Sonny glanced over at Amanda, and she saw him pull in air as he prepared to speak. Her heartbeat began to quicken.

"Ah, well... Amanda and I have been talkin' about this for the past week or so..." he began slowly, carefully. His gaze flickered over to Amanda, then back to the group. "We wanna move forward with the adoption."

Beneath the table, Amanda squeezed Sonny's knee; he set his palm atop hers and threaded their fingers together. She looked across at Mia, who was wearing a fragile smile. She tried to read what was behind the younger woman's big brown eyes, but selfishly she didn't really want to see anything but enthusiasm there, even if it was somewhat forced. This had to be difficult for Mia - maybe one of the hardest things she had ever done - but her tragedy was Amanda's miracle.

Teresa looked immensely relieved. "I think that's the best choice for... everybody involved," she exhaled, as if she had been holding in that particular breath the entire night.

Mia nodded in agreement. "I'm glad." She looked between Sonny and Amanda with a small smile. "I was really hoping you'd wanna do it."

"Alright then," Brady grinned. "Given that you're family, this would be an open adoption, meaning the biological mother - that's you, Mia - would have contact and interaction with the adoptive parents - Sonny and Amanda - unless you plan to never see each other ever again."

"I - no. Like you said, we're family. We'd see each other all the time," Mia said hurriedly, "the baby just, he wouldn't be mine."

Amanda shifted in her chair, words forming on the tip of her tongue. She flipped the palm beneath the table upward, keeping her fingers anchored with Sonny's as she eventually suggested awkwardly, "in the interest of not keepin' secrets, Mia, if you want... I think once he's old enough to understand, it'd be important to explain to him who you are to him. If you want."

The younger woman nodded. "I'd like that."

"That's often part of an open adoption, yes, especially in these sorts of circumstances," Brady agreed. He looked over at Mia, "you'd sign the agreement upon the birth of the baby. Mia, you'd fill out one birth certificate - you can give the baby a name, but Sonny and Amanda will have the right to change it."

Mia shook her head. "No, I want them to name him."

"Okay. After you fill out a birth certificate, it'll be sealed, and another will be created upon adoption of the baby for Sonny and Amanda," the lawyer went on, "in New York, the biological parent has forty-five days to change their mind and reverse the adoption. After that, it's permanent."

Everybody nodded in understanding.

Brady glanced down at his paperwork and furrowed his brow. "The baby's father-"

"-is a scumbag who's exactly where he belongs," Sonny brusquely completed his sentence.

"I'm assuming he is unaware of this turn of events?" Brady asked Mia coolly.

Mia nodded; in that moment she looked especially young despite her condition.

"That's fine. It's irrelevant," the lawyer assured her, "as a convicted rapist, his parental rights would be terminated if he ever tried to pursue anything."

Amanda shifted in her seat again, feeling a combination of excited and anxious. "Mia, I just wanna be really sure that you're okay with this," she blurted, completely ignoring the current topic of conversation in favor of what was worrying her. "That this a decision you'll be okay with two months from now, when the baby is born."

All eyes shifted their focus to Amanda, but she was only looking at Mia.

"I know that I'm making the right choice," Mia assured her, glancing between Amanda and Sonny. "You both can give him a better life than I can. I can't, not like this." She looked over at her mother as she continued, "mom and I talked about me going back to school and stuff. I know that this isn't the way... any of this is supposed to happen." Turning back to Amanda and Sonny, Mia concluded with a wan smile, "you guys have been there for me, so I know you'll be there for him."

Meeting Mia's eyes again, Amanda nodded, satisfied with her reply. Beneath the table, Sonny squeezed her hand.


Amanda's fingers flew over the keys of her laptop at seven-thirty in the morning. She was finishing an overnight shift; Fin and Sonny had just arrived at SVU to begin theirs. The night had been busy and she was exhausted, but despite her bleary eyes and strong desire to put her head on her desk, she was determined to finish her reports before she left the precinct.

"I figured you'd be leavin' by now," Sonny remarked cheerfully as he perched himself on the edge of his desk with his coffee.

"Uh huh," she grunted without looking up. "Please tell me everybody is in school or sleepin' or doin' whatever it is their supposed to be doin' at home."

"Yeah, yeah, everybody's fine," he assured her.

"Rollins?" Liv's voice cut through the squad room suddenly.

Amanda's head jerked upward to see the lieutenant standing outside of her office door, a piece of paper in her hands and her glasses at the end of her nose. "My office," Liv completed her request.

Simultaneously, Fin - who had only just sat down at his desk - and Sonny cast her a look that asked wordlessly: what did you do now?

With a low groan, Amanda hauled herself up from her seat and obediently followed Liv into her office. She shut the door behind herself in anticipation; she didn't know what Liv was about to bring up. She slid her hands into the back pockets of her pants as she began rock back and forth on the heels of her boots. "Yeah, Liv?"

Liv brandished the piece of paper she had been holding and raised an eyebrow. "Why is there a request for six weeks of maternity leave starting at the end of December with your name on it on my desk?" Her gaze trailed the length of Amanda's unchanged body. "If you're seven months pregnant, you're doing a hell of a job hiding it."

She felt simultaneously relieved and nervous. "No, I'm not."

"So, this is just a One PP clerical error?" Liv concluded, tossing the request onto her desk.

Amanda shook her head. "Not that, either."

The lieutenant looked at her expectantly.

She pulled in a deep breath. "I didn't wanna say anything till we met with the lawyer, but..." she admitted before blurting, "Sonny and I are gonna adopt Mia's baby."

Liv's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh. Oh, wow."

"Yeah." Amanda ran a hand through her hair, which was disheveled from a long shift. "It all happened kinda fast... it's just, it's something we want to do."

"How'd this all come about?" she wondered.

She used the elastic on her wrist to tie up her hair into a sloppy ponytail, feeling somewhat fidgety. The topic of adopting Mia's child excited her, but in a way that meant she would be on-edge until the baby was actually in her arms. "Mia asked us if we'd be willing. She decided she was gonna put the baby up for adoption either way," she explained, "knowin' how ugly the foster system can be..."

"Is Mia going to be okay with seeing you raise her baby?" Liv asked.

"She says she is." Amanda shrugged. "I think, on top of still dealing with the sexual assault, she knows she's not ready to be a parent."

"Wow," Liv sighed. For a moment she studied Amanda in silence, then smiled. "Well, good work."

She raised her eyebrows wordlessly.

Liv clapped a hand on Amanda's shoulder. "When I told you how important it is to find a life outside of SVU... this, this sort of stuff, this is exactly what I meant by it."


Amanda's naked limbs untangled themselves from the sheets early Saturday morning. In the October light filtering through their shades, she saw Sonny sprawled out on his back, his unruly hair a mess from their earlier activities, his long limbs taking up more than their fair share of the mattress. This was their second round of sleep after their bodies had encountered one another in the dark hours ago, both hungrily seeking the passion and intimacy only those private hours of their day would allow. Warm and hazy, Amanda found it rather luxurious to wake up on her own accord yet another time - as opposed to a jarring alarm clock or a screaming child. She skittered into the bathroom without bothering to put on clothes, then crept back out into the dim bedroom when she was done. She crawled back onto the bed, but instead of returning to her spot, she made her way up the length of Sonny's frame. Her legs straddled his hips as she leaned down to touch her lips against his. She felt him shift beneath him, his hands sliding up her bare thighs before they settled against her hips as he returned her kiss.

"Mm, mornin'," Sonny grunted. She felt him smirk against her mouth as he added, "again."

"Mornin'," she murmured.

Sonny reached up and took her face between his warm palms, deepening their kiss into something long and languid. "When we have four kids," he eventually mumbled huskily, lips still brushing hers, "are we ever gonna have sex again?"

Amanda laughed quietly, pulling away only to catch her breath. She straightened up again, gazing down at Sonny beneath her. She always found him especially handsome first thing in the morning, with traces of stubble on his jaw, his cheeks flushed and his hair disheveled. Maybe it was because that was the version of Sonny only she was privy to; it was only ever hers. "Of course." She dragged finger down his sternum. "Nothin' is hotter than watching you be such a good dad."

His hands squeezed her thighs as he quirked his eyebrows. "Nothin'?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Well, alright, a few other things..." She leaned back down to kiss him again, grinning as she did so. Sitting up again, she traced abstract shapes against his chest. "But you know what I mean."

Sonny stretched both of his arms to rest them behind his head and gazed up at her with a smile. "You're really happy, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am," she admitted almost shyly. Her finger paused its lazy mapping against his skin to meet Sonny's eyes. "I just... he's not even here yet, but I know he's ours, Sonny."

He nodded. "We're gonna give him a good life."

A mischievous grin formed on Amanda's lips. "And I don't even have to get fat or stop drinking to do it."

"I think we're all thankin' God for that," Sonny teased.

"Hey!" she laughed with mock indignation before launching herself toward him, immediately tickling his exposed underarms while she had the chance.

Sonny responded with a yelp of surprise, his long limbs flailing as he simultaneously tried to fight her off and entrap her. Like rambunctious children they wrestled around the mattress, both of them too competitive to immediately relinquish control. They each knew all of the most ticklish spots on one another's bodies; in minutes they were both breathless with laughter as they knocked pillows off of the bed as a result of their tussle. Amanda knew how to win, of course: beneath him at one point, she hooked a leg around his waist and pressed her mouth against his, confident the position and the kiss would be enough of a distraction to stop Sonny's ruthless fingers. He couldn't help but respond, especially since they were tangled together and pressed closed, already out of breath and happy.

"Hey. This God guy," Amanda panted, taking Sonny's chin between her fingers so she could look him in the eye, "if he exists, I'm glad he stuck me with you."

Raising a brow, there was a mischievous glint in Sonny's eye. "Or did he stick me with you?"

Amanda rolled her eyes and encircled his neck with her arms. "Let's argue about it later."