Yes I know, a lot of Kyman fans are either hating me or loving me right now because of all the twists, surprises, and hanging cliffs I keep putting in the story that I'm literally such a tease. Not to worry though, if it's any consolation to any Kyman fan, there will be a happy ending soon. Just gotta be patient! Onto where we last left off, you may find the biggest shock of all in this chapter.


Soon Stan, Kenny, Butters and everyone found themselves being confronted by Trent Boyett himself who stood in the middle of the street with an army of Crab People and ginger-kids at his disposal as he prepared to engage the heroes into battle. Stan and Kenny stood side-by-side while angrily facing the ruthless bully who had done nothing but victimized them all. It was time to put a stop to him once and for all. Glaring over at the whole lot of them, it seemed that Trent was finally ready to exact revenge of his own.

"So here we all are! Do ya really think it's gonna be easy? You goyz have been nothin' but trouble to me. I'ma finally sick of looking at yer faces so I'ma gonna kill you all!" Trent said viciously.

The Antichrist came forth from the crowd with his ruby-red eyes blazing dangerously as he scowled hatefully at Trent who he once been forced to accept as an ally. "You… You're the one who almost killed Pip. How utterly despicable. I'll see to it personally that you rot in the foulest bowls of hell!"

However Trent snickered disrespectfully at Damien's threats. "Oh you are so full of shit, devil boy!" he mocked. "In fact, I think yer a coward. We both know tha the only reason why people cringe in fear at tha sight of you is because of them showy demon-powers of yers. You could never fight me man-to-man… Always have to have yer minions do yer dirty work for ya!"

Trent Boyett had some balls to insult the son of Satan to his face like that. Pip held Damien by the shoulder and became worried when he saw the Antichrist bare his teeth ferociously, making him look beastly. The others were looking nervously at Damien too, whom was seething with so much fury that he was practically giving off a powerful aura of pure darkness. Before anyone could stop him, Damien was suddenly stepping forward and boldly facing Trent head-on.

"Fine then… I'll fight you right here myself," Damien announced. "If it's mortal combat you're looking for, I'm more than happy to oblige."

"What? No Damien, don't!" Pip protested. "Don't let him get to you! You'll end up getting seriously hurt. You don't have to do this for me."

But Damien took Pip by the shoulders and looked into his eyes. "I have to do this, Pip. I'll do anything to protect you. I'll make sure that sadistic fucker over there never hurts you ever again. You need to trust in me… Can you do that, Pip?"

Gulping nervously, Pip nodded his head, stepped back and watched as his boyfriend turned to face Trent Boyett who waited for him with anticipation. Now everyone was watching transfixed as Trent and Damien began circling each other on the street like two deadly predators. The Crab People and ginger-kids also backed off and watched the showdown. There was much tension in the air as everyone rooted for Damien Thorn to be the victor here.

"I don't know, dude. Is this a good idea? Should we even allow this?" Stan asked Kenny with an anxious expression.

"Well you heard Damien. He wants to do this on his own. I'd say let him fight if he thinks he can win," Kenny said reassuringly back.

Just like that, the fight was on. Trent was fast on his feet and immediately raised his fists and began throwing punches at Damien who tried blocking but instead received a devastating blow to the head. Ignoring the dizzying pain, Damien retaliated by nailing a punch into Trent's abdomen, taking him off-guard and enabling Damien to deliver another punch to Trent's cheek. There were loud gasps from the crowd as Trent aggressively tackled Damien to the ground and brought his fist down over and over again into the Damien's face. But using his super-strength, the Antichrist was able to take his foot and kick Trent off him before getting back on his feet.

"Jesus… This is barbaric!" Bebe said while gripping her cheeks in horror. "Shouldn't we stop them?"

"Yeah. Those two are going to end up killing each other if somebody doesn't step in soon." Butters said nervously.

"I don't know… But my money's on Damien to win," Clyde said absent-mindedly.

Trent got tossed a spear from the Crab People and proceeded to make violent swipes at Damien who so far successfully dodged every thrust. Biding his time, the Antichrist was able to find an opening and dashed forward to grab a hold of the spear where him and Trent furiously wrestled over the weapon. Pip watched the fight while looking increasingly scared and worried. Fighting over the spear, Trent won by bringing his knee up to nail Damien in the groin, causing the Antichrist to tumble onto the street while massaging his crotch-area. With murder in his steel-gray eyes, Trent lifted the spear above his head and prepared to bring it down on his victim.

"Damien, look out!" Pip cried.

Looking up in time, Damien grabbed the spear in both hands before it reached his face. Now he fought with all his strength to keep Trent from bringing the weapon down. Refusing point-blank to let this bastard get the better of him, with a vicious growl, Damien easily snapped the spear in half like a toothpick. Enjoying the panicked look in Trent's eyes, the Antichrist casually tossed the spear aside and thrust his fist up to ram into Trent's gut.

It brought Trent to his very knees and he clutched his stomach in agonizing pain, and this allowed Damien to deliver the final blow to the face, sending Trent stumbling onto the pavement where he laid unconscious. It didn't end there because a still restless and angered Damien continued kicking Trent in his side over and over again until he felt arms around him. He was being pulled away from Trent Boyett. Turning his head to look, Damien saw Pip gazing at him with pleading eyes.

"Stop it, just stop it Damien. You won already. Please don't kill him. You don't have to kill him. So please… Step away and let him live," Pip begged.

Damien's merciless rage vanished from the moment Pip took him into his arms and placed a sweet kiss upon his lips. Feeling his demonic-side retreating back into the darkest part of his soul, Damien was able to calm down and hug Pip back. Now they both stared down at a badly injured Trent Boyett who was moaning and groaning achingly on the ground. Stan and Kenny took one look at each other and wondered what to do with Trent. And that was when they all heard the too familiar raspy cackle, echoing all around them in the town. Announcing the arrival of a certain crazed mastermind.

"Wow… Isn't it ironic? Trent Boyett getting his ass kicked on the street? I thought you were made out of tougher stuff than that, Trent. But it seems that even you have fallen from grace." Scott Tenorman was strutting his way onto the scene.

"Scott you crazy asshole!" Stan glared at the sight of the ginger-teen.

Scott looked down at a badly beaten Trent and frowned distastefully and crossed his arms. "Tsk, tsk… It appears that you've failed me, Trent. I was hoping you would kill these brats off for me. But it seems that even you are starting to make me look bad…and I can't have that. I have grand plans and I can't let you keep screwing that up."

"Fuck…you…Tenorman…," Trent croaked ominously. "I'll…kill…you."

To everyone's shock, Scott pulled out his Wesson-smith gun and looked down at Trent with a curling wicked grin. "Sorry Trent… I don't tolerate poor performance. I'm afraid you're of no use to me anymore. Time to cut off another anchor weighing me down."

Scott pointed the gun at Trent's head and everyone was able to witness him commit murder. But he never got the chance to pull the trigger because there was another gunshot…and Scott's gun was being shot out of his hand by an unknown shooter. Cursing foully to himself, Scott darted his head all around to see who had dared to fire a weapon at him like that. And there…stepping out from the crowd of ginger-kids was a rotund ginger-boy holding a machine-gun in hand. This made everyone stare at him in surprise.

This ginger-boy looked oddly familiar. To everyone's dumbfounded disbelief, he reached up and pulled off a red-wig and wiped some make-up from his face. When he gazed over at Scott Tenorman, the ginger-teen was greatly disturbed by what he saw. Stan's and Kenny's jaws dropped when they too recognized him but hardly dared to believe it. It was the most shocking twist of all… Nobody saw this coming. The boy was smirking at all the attention he was receiving from everyone.

"Hello Scott… Things are not what they always appear, are they?" Said a very much alive Eric Cartman.

"No! That's impossible! You're dead! I killed you! I pulled the trigger myself! How can this be? How did you…," Scott was spluttering at this rate while gawking stupidly.

Stan and Kenny ran over to Cartman's side where they actually embraced him, their friend whom they thought they had lost. Soon all the others came hurrying over too and were crowding around Cartman while asking him tons of questions and staring at him in shock. Meanwhile Scott Tenorman was still baffled on how Eric Cartman could have survived taking bullets to the chest. How could this have happened? It wasn't long before everyone wanted to know what had really happened. There Eric Cartman turned to face Scott while still smirking smugly.

"Yes, I suppose I owe everyone an explanation on how I once again managed to pull the wool over Scott's eyes. I gotta say, I may have lost my memory but I've still got it! You see, it was a most carefully thought-up plan. One of my best works yet if I do say so myself." Soon Cartman revealed his devious scheme to everyone.

"On that Friday night, after Kyle got angry at me and left, I knew I had to do the right thing. I was the only one who could stop Scott Tenorman, and I would have to do it alone. But still, I knew it would be dangerous because Scott was already paranoid and untrusting toward me. So I decided to use that to my advantage. I went home and got my bullet-proof vest that my grandfather used to wear when he went hunting at the mountains. If I was going to start sabotaging Scott's scheme, I would have to do it from the inside…therefore faking my own death."

"The very next day, I went to the mayor's office to confront Scott. If my calculations were right, I knew he would be looking for any excuse to kill me. I went ahead and gave Scott what he wanted. I deliberately began provoking Scott and got into an argument with him. Sure enough, Scott fell for the bait and pulled out his gun and started firing at me. I dropped to the ground and immediately pretended to be dead like I've practiced. As I hoped, Scott had the ginger-kids stuff me into a trash-bag and dumped out somewhere in the woods. Using my hunting knife to break out of the bag, I discarded the bullet-proof vest and prepared my disguise that I've hidden out in the woods earlier."

"I took on the appearance of a ginger-kid. I knew nobody would look too closely at me because all ginger-kids look alike. But I was able to manipulate some of the gingers and get inside information. I learned that Scott had Trent Boyett try to kill Pip Pirrup and wanted to dump his body into a lake. I was the one who convinced the ginger-kids to dump Pip into the dumpster instead, ensuring that Pip would be found and taken to the hospital. When the ginger-kids ambushed Mick's Lane tried to burn my friends alive, I was the one who snuck in the back and unlocked the exit door so that they could escape. The only ones who found out I was alive were Damien and Pip who came back from hell and came upon me. It was I who told them to go rescue you guys from the jail-cells. I've been working behind the scenes the whole time…"

Cartman smiled devilishly at the stunned look on Scott's face. "You never suspected I was still alive and throwing monkey-wenches at your schemes every chance I got. Even you didn't see this one coming. Once again Scott…" Cartman's evil smile widens. "The joke was on you."

It truly was the most brilliant scheme Eric Cartman came up with yet. Everyone could hardly believe that he could come up with it all in one night. But if there's one thing Cartman still knew how to do, and that was being a Machiavellian evil-minded genius who literally made Scott's plans look amateurish in comparison. But just as Cartman was getting pats on the back and a lot of praised comments, it didn't stop an insanely revengeful Scott from scooping his gun off the ground and aiming it at Cartman and the others.

"Oh shit! Get down everyone! He's going to start firing!" Kenny shouted, having spotted the danger first.

There were screams as everyone scrambled to get out of the crossfire as Scott Tenorman began firing his gun at their retreating backs. They took cover behind the cars where the rearview mirrors and tires shatter and pop from the gunfire. Unfortunately for Scott, he ran out of bullets. Giving Cartman time to pop up and start firing his machine-gun after the ginger-teen who had no choice but to high-tail it. Once again, Scott escaped before being defeated. He was a slippery snake all right… Cartman rose up when he was sure it was safe, then scowled over at the alleyway where the ginger-teen had disappeared through.

"Come on guys. We're hunting down that pussy Tenorman. He can't outrun me forever!" Cartman said determinedly.

Suddenly Stan took Cartman by the arm and held him back. "Wait Cartman. There's someone who really needs to see you first," he explained.

Cartman's angry expression softened and he knew that there was only one person who Stan must be referring to. In an almost trembling voice, Cartman actually felt a little afraid. "Is he…is he still mad at me?" he whispered uncertainly.

"No dude. I think that's all in the past," Kenny told him smiling. "Kyle misses you so much. He hasn't been the same ever since he heard you were dead. Before you go chasing down Scott Tenorman, you have to go see Kyle first. He needs you…"

Stan and Kenny led Cartman back to the jail-cells where they last saw Kyle sitting alone on the bench. They couldn't wait to see the look on Kyle's face when he saw that Cartman was alive and well. Entering the building, they go inside only to find the jail-cells empty and Kyle was nowhere in sight. Kyle no longer appeared to be here. The three of them called out for Kyle and began looking around for him. It didn't take long for them to become concerned which quickly turned to fear.

"Kyle? Kyle! Where is he? I thought he was here? Come to think of it, I haven't seen him around since the jailbreak. I thought he was staying in here," Stan said worriedly.

Cartman felt his heart crushed when he saw that his beloved Jew wasn't here anymore. "Kyle! Kyle! It's me! I'm alive! I'm here again! Where are you?" he called.

At that exact moment, a soft britsh-accented voice out from the doorway. "I'm sorry to break the bad news to you, chaps. But I'm afraid Kyle isn't here anymore. He was ever so upset earlier and has gone off on his own somewhere." It was Pip.

"Where did he go, Pip? Where is Kyle? Did he tell you?" Cartman was already shaking Pip like crazy for answers.

There was fear in Pip's crystal-blue eyes when he gazed back at Cartman whose concern was genuine. "I believe Kyle has gone after Scott Tenorman. He didn't wish for me to tell anyone. He was so heart-broken when he thought you were dead. Kyle has not returned since then."

Now Cartman was feeling sick in his stomach from all the high anxiety. Goddamn it all to hell, Kyle went after Scott Tenorman? What the hell had Kyle been thinking to go do something reckless and stupid? Although it only meant that Kyle had to have been so emotionally vulnerable to go after the ginger-teen himself. There was no time to lose; Kyle's life was in danger. This agonizing thought made Cartman feel even more guilty when he thought of what he had put Kyle through. His love for the red-haired Jew was the only thing that made him different from Scott Tenorman. He lost Kyle once; he wasn't going to lose him again.

"What are you faggots standing around for? We've got to go after that fucking psycho, Tenorman! I swear to god, if he did anything to Kyle, I'm going to put his lifeless body in the ground!" Cartman growled.

With that, Cartman hurried out of the building and onto the streets. Just as Stan, Kenny and Pip hurried to keep up with him, suddenly they all heard loud crazed laughter coming from a bunch of TVs on display in front of the wide windows of a store. Slowly they approached the window where they found themselves looking at the evil ratty face of Scott Tenorman himself who was recording someplace else. On the TV screen, it seemed that the ginger-teen had come to deliver a message for Eric Cartman.

"Congratulations… Once again you've gone and pulled a fast one on me, Eric. I expected no less from you," Scott said. "However… This is about your precious Kyle. If you are looking for him, look no more. Because he's somewhere where you're never going to be able to reach him…and that's with me! Although I may be willing to make an exchange, come to the center of town where I'll be waiting for you. Surrender yourself and I will hand your Jew over nice and easy… Can I trust you with that? Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Scott Tenorman's wild laughter was only cut short when an incensed Cartman took his fist and smashed it hard into the twisted face which resulted in busting the TV. "So Scott wants a battle? Well I'm going to do better than that… I'll give him a fucking war!" Cartman promised.