And now we come to what could possibly be my favorite episode. The Ember Island Players! Ah. It makes me laugh. :)

Enjoy, review, and I'll give you the joke:

Why does it take so many sperm to impregnate one egg?

P.S WE HAVE REACHED ONE HUNDRED PAGES ON WORD. Holy Cow.

Chapter 52

Katara and I watch Aang and Zuko's every training session for two very different reasons. Katara watches because she's a good friend and is still mildly concerned, despite her and Zuko's little adventure, that Zuko might try and kill Aang at any second.

I watch because I'm a drooling lecher and take any opportunity that arises to see Zuko without his shirt off.

When they finish, they bow, and I watch Zuko out of the corner of my eye as he links his hands together, stretches his arms out in front of them, and then raises them above his head, giving me a spectacular view of his torso.

Toph naps beside us, and Katara and I aren't really on speaking terms, so I assume she's talking to Aang and Zuko when she says, "Doesn't it seem kinda weird that we're hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house?"

Zuko is drying his hair and neck, which glisten with sweat, with a towel as he says, "I told you, my father hasn't come out here since our family was actually happy. And that was a long time ago." Zuko's eyes are very far away. "This is the last place anyone would think to look for us."

"Relax, Katara," I say, leaning back in my visual example of relaxing. "It's nice here. The view is amazing," I say, gesturing at the ocean but keeping my eyes on Zuko.

"You guys are not going to believe this!" Sokka's voice floats from up the path and he and Suki, laden with groceries, appear. "There's a play about us."

"A play?" I ask. "Like a theater play?" Suki nods and rummages around in one of her baskets.

"We were just in town and we found this poster," she says, holding it up. I laugh when see that Zuko's scar is on the wrong side, but I don't bring it up because it's clear by his scowl that he's seen it too.

"What?" Katara asks, coming to stand behind me. "How is that possible?"

"Listen to this," he says, and then he begins to speak in his 'reading voice' as he calls it. "'The Boy in the Iceberg' is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu On Tim who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage." I giggle. "Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players."

Zuko groans suddenly. We all turn to face him. My eyes drift down to his chiseled stomach, but I jerk them back up again. Oops.

"Ugh," Zuko says again. "My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered "Love Amongst the Dragons" every year." I laugh, realizing that nerdy Zuko has once again made an appearance.

"Sokka," Katara says in her "reasoning, motherly voice" that annoys everyone, "do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?"

"Especially when every single one of us is a wanted criminal," I say, and it's obvious that I couldn't be more delighted about that fact. My life has turned out great. Instead of being tortured at some boarding school, I'm a fugitive, with the Avatar, with nobody to tell me what to do… with my parents dead, nightmares plaguing me every night, and leftover poison running through my veins.

Right.

"Come on! A day at the theater? This is exactly the kind of wacky time wasting nonsense I've been missing!" He grins. So, with much complaint and excitement, we head to the theater.

Zuko and I are forced to wear cloaks, and Aang wears a hat that looks like a sock atop his head to hide his tattoos. Sokka and Suki sit on the top row of our balcony seats, while Toph and Katara sit on the bottom. I hesitate, wanting and not wanting to sit next to Zuko. I watch as Aang tries to sit next to Katara, but Zuko takes his spot instead.

"Hey, uh…" I can hear Aang say awkwardly. "I wanted to sit there." He wrings his hands together. Zuko lowers his hood, feeling a little more secure in the darkness of the theater.

"Just sit next to me, what's the big deal?" Zuko asks. Oh, Zuko, so blind. Or maybe he just wants to sit next to Katara. My insides squirm unhappily as I take my seat next to Suki. She's curled up against Sokka's side, looking peaceful and happy.

"I was just… I wanted to—okay," Aang sighs, sitting next to Zuko.

"Why are we sitting in the nose-bleed section? My feet can't see a thing from up here," Toph says as the lights dim. I slump in my seat, wondering whether or not it would be safe for me to pull my hood down. Finally, I compromise by pulling back slightly, but not all the way.

"Don't worry, I'll tell your feet what's happening," Katara says, and Toph smiles.

The play begins in the Southern Water tribe. The Katara actor is very… curvy, to say the least, and Sokka's character is hollow-cheeked and goofy looking. I can't but think that the actors are very ugly compared to the beautiful siblings. However, Sokka is ridiculously excited and I can't help but feel glad that we came.

Just then Katara's actress give a huge, enormous exaggerated sigh and I already regret the decision to attend. "Sokka!" Actress Katara says. "My only brother! We constantly roam these icy South Pole Seas, and yet never do we find anything fulfilling!" I hold back a snicker. She does kinda sound like Katara.

"All I want is a full feeling in my stomach… I'm starving!" Actor Sokka says and the audience rumbles with laughter. As Katara and Sokka share alarmed glances, I allow myself a chuckle. This is going to be great.

"Is food the only thing on your mind?" Actress Katara demands, and I wonder how many containers of blush they put on that woman.

"Well I'm trying to get it out of my mind and into my mouth. I'm starving!" The audience laughs again, and now I understand what Zuko meant about the actors butchering the "Dragon Love" play or whatever it was called.

"This is pathetic," Sokka pouts. "My jokes are way funnier than this!" He gestures towards the play.

Toph laughs. "I think he's got you pegged." I slap her on the back approvingly and she turns to me. "We're going to have lots of fun, aren't we, Sunshine?" We turn out attention back to the play.

"Every day, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears. Still, we cannot give up hope! For hope, is all we have, and we must not relinquish it. Even—even to our dying breath!" Actress Katara wails, throws herself onto the railing of the boat, and begins sobbing. Everyone in our little sections begins laughing, except for the Sugar Queen herself.

"That's just silly," Katara sniffs, sticking her nose in the air. "I don't sound like that." Her tone sends Toph and me into new rounds of giggles.

"Oh man, this writer's a genius!"

Actress Katara is still sobbing as a strange blue-white light fills the entire stage.

Suddenly, we see a perfectly circular iceburg, and behind it the silhouette of a person is swinging back and forth like a pendulum. "It appears to be someone frozen in ice!" Actress Katara, who is apparently not all boob and no brain, realizes. "Perhaps for a hundred years!"

"But who? Who is the boy in the iceburg?"

Aang leans forward, his grey eyes wide. Since I'm already looking at him, I allow my eyes to casually glance at Zuko. He looks completely and utterly bored. Actress Katara, with some ridiculous sound, 'waterbends' the iceburg open, and cracks appear in the fake iceburg. Aang is quivering with excitement.

Then, a small girl with too much make up leaps out from the iceburg.

"Who are you, frozen boy?" Actress Katara asks.

"Not much of a boy, is she?" I mutter, and Toph and Zuko permit themselves small grins.

"I'm the Avatar, silly," Actress Aang says, dancing around daintily. "Here to spread joy and fun!" At the look on Aang's face, I can't hold it back anymore. Toph and I burst into uncontrollable laughter, Suki and Sokka giggle, Katara looks like she might explode is she doesn't at least smile a little, and Zuko… looks bored.

"Wait? Is that a woman playing me?" Aang asks, a little slow. An odd, scruffy white creature made of paper and fake fur dances it's way onto the stage. Aang looks more upset at seeing Appa this way than he does at realizing he's being played by a woman.

"An airbender! My heart is so full of hope that it's," Actress Katara drops to her knees, "making me tearbend!" She grabs Actress Aang's leg and holds on for dear life as she sobs.

"My stomach is so empty it's making me tearbend!" Actor Sokka says, grabbing the other leg of Aang's actress not quite as tightly. "I need meat!"

"But wait!" Actress Aang says, pointing right at us. We all cower back, Zuko and I yank up our hoods, and everyone slumps down considerably. "Is that platter of meaty dumplings?" We all relax, giggle at our overreaction, and continue watching as Actor Sokka freaks out, looking for the meat. Actress Aang giggles and crosses her legs. "Did I mention that I'm an incurable prankster?"

"I don't do that," Aang says, irritated. "That's not what I'm like. And I'm not a woman!"

"Oh, they nailed you, Twinkle Toes!" Everyone turns to stare at us as Toph and I laugh again.

"Sokka, I'm so glad we came!" I say.

"Just wait till it's your turn," he threatens. "Sunshine." That makes me shut up. Then I'm very much focusing on the play, because here it is. The Fire Nation ship. That's when I realize that this might be a chance to learn a little more about Zuko's past, through this ridiculous, exaggerated play.

I see the Zuko actor, who is not nearly as handsome as the real Zuko, with the scar on the wrong side. Then Iroh appears, bearing cakes, and my heart swells with so much love and grief that I think I might burst.

"Prince Zuko, you must try this cake!" Actor Iroh says.

"I don't have time to stuff my face! I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor!" Actor Zuko says. His voice is rougher and deeper than Zuko's usual seductive purr. Ugh. I did not just think that.

"Well, while you do that, maybe I'll capture another slice!" Actor Iroh says, loudly munching down the fake cake. I feel a startled giggle burst through my chest, and I'm horrified when I realize that it is clogged and watery, revealing to everyone that I'm about to cry. They all politely ignore me, except for Zuko, who spins around, gives my arm a reassuring squeeze, then spins forward again, looking embarrassed.

"You sicken me," Actor Zuko says. Zuko and I both flinch.

"They make me totally stiff and humorless," Zuko complains.

"Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on," Katara says, and is it just me, or is that smile she's giving him very flirtatious?

"How could you say that?"

"Let's forget the Avatar and get massages!" Actor Iroh suggests.

"How could you say that?" Actor Zuko bellows.

Oh yes, Katara's smile is definitely bordering on flirtatious. Zuko slumps in his seat.

Next we watch Actor Aang discover Puppet Momo, then Actor Sokka questions Actress Suki about the state of his hindquarters while wearing a dress, and watch some crazy old king challenge Actress Aang.

Actress Katara steals a waterbending, scroll, and they are chased down by pirates. When Actor Sokka asks her what she was thinking, she cries out, "It just gave me so much hope!"

Later, Actress Aang is captured by Actor Zuko. After Actor Zuko boasts for a while, the Actor Blue spirit dances onto the stage, proclaiming, "I am the Blue Spirit! The scourge of the Fire Nation! Here to save the Avatar!"

After the Actor Blue Spirit fake kills all the soldiers on screen except for Actor Zuko, who spins gracefully out of the way, Actor Aang jumps into the Actor Blue Spirit's arms and says lovingly, "My hero!"

Aang and Zuko glance at each other, horrified, and scoot away from each other slightly. This motion brings him about an inch closer to Katara. My insides boil and my hands clench and I don't care. I'm better than this. It means nothing. I don't care.

I bit the inside of my cheek and focus on the metallic taste of my own blood for a while. To my intense surprise, there is an Actor Jet. Just seeing him makes my heart squeeze regretfully. Tears fill my eyes and I wipe them away before anyone sees.

I manage to calm myself in time to see Actor Jet holding Actor Katara very closely. "Don't cry, baby. Jet will wipe out that nasty town for youuuuuuu!" I have to chuckle a little at this.

"Oh, Jet," Actress Katara says sexily, making Katara flush, "you're so bad." Katara, Katara, Katara. Aang, Haru, Jet, possibly Zuko… the men fall all over you, don't they?

I go back to nibbling on the inside of my cheek.

"Look!" Actress Aang exclaims, and the play gains my attention again. "It's the Great Divide! The biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom!"

"Meh. Let's keep flying," Actor Sokka says. This makes me think of his ridiculous schedule preluding the invasion, and I laugh again, but the sound is shaky and I can see Toph's head cock towards me as she picks up the out of place sound.

During the gAang's time in the North Pole, old memories and nightmares threaten to drag me down. The blood rushes into my ears and I realize how weak I still am from the poison. This is because Yue is very prominent during these parts. This girl with white hair who turned into the moon who frequented my visions when I was attacked by the poison in my blood system.

Aang gets particularly testy when Actress Aang, dressed as some monster, giggles and squashes Fire Nation ships. Even this is painful to watch, because I remember Fattie—Lady Aiya—and my mother gossiping about this very event. Ah, my silly mother. My stern father. I miss them so much.

As the intermission comes, the only one out of group who applauds is Toph. Suki and Katara looked irritated, Aang throws himself forward onto the railing, Zuko draws up his hood, and Sokka's eyes are a million miles away, up with the moon spirit.

Maybe coming to this play wasn't such a good idea.


Punchline: Because they won't stop to ask for directions!