Daryl took me out early the next morning to the yard so we could visit T-Dog, Carol and Lori's grave. The walk was quiet and bright, despite the fact that we were walking to a cemetery. I walked with my hand in my pockets down the hill, watching the ground in front of me careful not to trip of the loose gravel.

I frowned as I stood over the mounds of the freshly dug graves. Slowly I took a seat in the middle of the field, hands in my lap. Daryl watched me quizzically, choosing to remain standing. I sat quietly, the wind blowing my hair.

I didn't cry, I didn't sob. I was numb, but the need to cry had left me yesterday when I realized there was a bigger picture. When I realized that there was a baby girl in the prison who wouldn't know her mother.

"I think I'm ready to talk." I said quietly. Daryl bent down, unsure if he heard me correctly. I patted the grass next to me and he sat down with me. I smiled up at him, one that he half-heartedly returned. "My mom died when I born too." I said quietly. Daryl froze, I hadn't divulged much of my past to him, so I supposed now was as good a time as any. "There were complications through out her pregnancy, namely Earl. I like to think of my mom like Lori. Is that strange?" I asked him. He seemed taken back by my question, but he shook his head. "They were both strong, facing odds that just kept stacking against them." I chuckled as I continued, placing my head on my knees. "I had pictures though. One of my favorites was her in this ridiculous, bright, 80's jumpsuit with wild hair." I gestured to my head with my hand, chuckling. I frowned, growing quiet. "She wont have pictures." I said plainly, talking about the baby. "My pictures got me through everything that Earl put me through, the screaming, the fist fights. I'd just pull out that picture of my mom with her stupid hair and her ugly outfit and I'd pretend like everything was okay." I felt the tears coming again and quickly swiped at my face, catching them before they fell. I bit my lip, biting back a tear.

"Darlin," Daryl started quietly. I looked up at him and began to laugh, feeling silly about how much I'd been crying lately. It felt like all I did. "Ass kicker'll have all of us." He said firmly. "She wont need no pictures because she'll have all of us telling her all these great stories about how her mom fought of twenty walkers, while she was ready to pop." I chuckled at him, drying my face again.

"I once saw her put a walker in time out." I grinned at him teasingly. He chuckled, picking at the grass next to him. "I can't face him." I said after a long pause. Daryl looked at me confused.

"Why not?" I shrugged at his question. I didn't know why not, I just felt so guilty, like it was my fault. He seemed to have read my mind. "Lori and Rick knew that was a possibility from the beginning. She accepted that'n he will have to, too."


By the time we got back to the cellblock everyone was up and breakfast had been made. Oscar handed each of us a bowl of oatmeal and I took it graciously, grabbing my spoon from my pocket. Daryl took a seat on the stairs and I sat on the floor next to him, eagerly digging into my food.

We ate in silence, all of us enjoying the first real food wed had in a while. I looked up at Oscar awkwardly and he smiled at me. Since the outbreak yesterday the convicts had become a tentative part of our group. I don't think anyone really cared anymore that they were cons, they'd helped out a lot in clearing out the walker situation.

The cellblock door clanged and Rick stepped in looking at each of us. I looked up from my bowl, trying my best not to look at him.

"Everybody okay?" He asked, looking at each of us, taking us in.

"Yeah, we are." Maggie replied.

"What about you?" Hershel asked expectantly. Rick looked up at him nodding his head. He placed a hand on Carl's back, looking at the doctor.

"I cleared out the boiler block." He said finally. He didn't answer the question and I frowned at him, looking away to the floor.

"How many were there?" Daryl asked. Rick looked up at us, his eyes lingering on me, and he looked away quickly.

"I don't know, A dozen, two dozen." Rick finally said after a long silence. Daryl looked down at his food. He hadn't been very happy with Rick's decision to go solo, the sheriff had barely been around at all since yesterdays attack. "I have to get back, I just wanted to check on Carl."

"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies!" Glenn offered standing up. "You don't have to."

"No, I do…" Rick answered him. Rick looked up to Daryl and he walked over to us briskly. I shied away, scooting a few inches back from him, nor sure if I was ready to face him. Daryl watched me, frowning. "Everybody got a gun and a knife?" he asked sparing me a passing glance.

"Yeah, we're running low on ammo though." Daryl told him. Rick frowned, he didn't like that answer.

"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon. We found a phone book and looked up some places we could go for rounds and formula." Glenn told him.

Beau and I cleared out the generator room." Daryl said directing the conversation to me. Again Rick looked at me, his face blank. I nodded lightly looking at Daryl. "Axel's there trying to fix it, y'know for emergencies." Daryl looked ta me again, waiting for me to speak. I sighed, placing my bowl on the ground.

"We're gonna sweep the lower levels as well." I chimed in, my tone less than happy.

"Good, good." Rick nodded, walking away back to the door. He quickly shut it behind him, not even excusing himself as he did so.

"Rick!" Hershel called after him. I watched him go, his shadow escaping down the hallway. Daryl cleared his throat looking at me. He seemed disappointed and I frowned, licking my spoon and pocketing it. I stood, taking my bowl to the dish box, giving Daryl a pointed look before slinking off to our cell.


Later in the day Daryl led us out to clear more ground. We went to re check the boiler area, just to be safe. I walked behind them, bringing up the flank, my bow armed and ready. I watched Daryl cautiously as he led us through the tunnels.

I wasn't a huge fan of him right now, he knew how I felt about Rick and I felt like he'd pushed me head long into a wood chipper. But I hated myself for how I reacted to it. He didn't mean any harm, Him and I were Ricks best people and he wanted me to feel comfortable around him. I saw where he was coming from, but it didn't mean I had to like it.

Slowly, Daryl, Carl and Oscar broke off from the group, each of them going their separate ways. I chose to stay where I was, watching the only hallway back into this area of the prison, make sure nothing snuck up on us.

I heard a whistle and I looked. Daryl had gotten Carl's attention. The kid had been near silent since Lori's death and I felt for him.

"You know, my mom liked her wine. And she liked smoking in bed." Daryl said suddenly. He glanced back at me and narrowed his eyes. This story wasn't just meant for Carl. I turned back to the hallway, still listening. "I was playing out with the kids in the neighborhood, I could do that with Merle gone. They had bikes and I didn't." Daryl chuckled, reminiscing, and I forced a small smile, one that I was hoping he didn't see. I wanted him to think I was still mad at him. "We heard sirens getting louder. They jumped on their bikes, ran after it, You know, hoping to see something worth seeing. I ran after them but I couldn't keep up." I swallowed hard stealing a glanced at him. He was looking directly at me. Quickly his gaze shifted down to Carl. "I ran around tha corner and saw my friends lookin at me, hell, I saw everybody lookin at me, fire trucks everywhere, people from the neighborhood." Daryl and Carl had turned a corner, but I could still hear him talking. I bit my lip as I listened, knowing where this story was going. "It was my house they were there for." I gasped, breathing deeply. "That was my mom in bed. Burnt down ta nothing." Daryl whistled again, calling for me to move up.

I checked my six once more before round the corner they took, and another one after that. I parked myself in line of sight of Daryl and he looked at me again, his eyes narrowed.

"That was the hard part." He said not looking away. I turned my gaze back around the corner. "You know, she was just gone, Erased. Nothing left of her. People said it was better that way." I heard Daryl chuckled as they turned another corner. "I dunno. Just made it seem like it wasn't real, you know?" he whistled again and I joined them. This time when I turned the corner they were both waiting for me. I blinked my eyes, looking at the ground in shame. Daryl seemed to understand my gesture and he shook his head, telling me it was all right.

"I shot my mom." Carl said finally, taking in Daryl's story. "She was out, hadn't turned yet." Carl turned to me, looking at me serious. "I ended it. It was real." They both stood quiet for a long time when Carl spoke again. "Sorry about your mom."

"I'm sorry about yours." Daryl grabbed Carl's shoulder, leading him forward, further into the halls, but not before looking back at me. Daryl words were meant for me too.

We had been out for nearly an hour now, cleaning up what we left behind last night. Daryl led us down a wide hall. Oscar stopped in front of me, looking into an empty cell smiling.

"That's what I'm talking about!" he shouted excitedly. I watched him walk into the cell and Daryl turned, looking at me quizzically. I shrugged, looking in after him. Oscar had knelt down to pick up a pair of red flannel slippers left lying on the floor.

"What the hell do you need slippers for?" I asked him, chuckling. He looked at me like I'd grown a spare head.

"You know, end of the day, relaxin." Oscar smiled up at me. His smile quickly faded to a look of fear and quickly I was shoved out of the way. I hit the wall, my bow clattering to the floor. They all shot their weapons and I turned to see a walker laying on the floor. Daryl looked at me in concern.

"You didn't hear him?" Oscar asked me. I stared at each of them, all wanting to know the answer, and I shook my head, grabbing for my ear. My hearing still hadn't fully returned, Hershel said it probably wouldn't. I took a deep breath, shaking my head.

"N-no…" I stammered. Daryl bit his lip, giving me one last look before turning to the zombie on the floor. I stayed leaned up against the wall, cursing my busted ear. Taking a deep breath I pushed my self to my feet, bending over to pick up my bow.

"That's Carol's knife." I heard Daryl say quietly. My ears perked up at the words and pushed past Oscar to look at it. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I looked down the hallway. There was a door down the way that was opening and closing gently, like the one upstairs.

I eyed it suspiciously before taking off down the hallway.

"Beau!" Daryl called after me. I ignored him, my heart racing. They had never found Carol's body, we just assumed she'd been eaten, or worse, turned. I felt a glimmer of hope rise from somewhere deep within me. I stopped hesitantly in front of the door. There was a walker in front of it, stopping it from opening. I bent over, dragging him out of the way.

I unsheathed my knife, holding it at the ready, reaching for the handle. I looked back at Daryl, he was nearly to me, I'd have enough cover.

"Beau no!" but it was too late. I flung the door open wide, ready to strike at what was standing there waiting for me. I was surprised to find nothing, until I looked down to the floor. Carol was lying in heap at the bottom of the closet.

"Carol!" I cried, dropping to my knees. She turned to look at me, her eyes drowsy. Carol gave me the biggest smile she could manage and I reached my hand out to her face, turning it to get a better look at her. No bites no scratched that I could see. Daryl had reached me and he stared at her in an almost childlike wonder. "We have to get her to Hershel." I said quietly. Daryl helped me to get her to her feet and she leaned on us for support as we walked her back up to the group.


Omg I'm back to two chapters in a day? What? is the sky falling? hath hell frozen over? no. no it has not.

i'm just excited to be writing again. got to season 4 today whoop whoop.

Ask and ye shall receive. been getting alot of request lately about a certain chapter ;) that's all i'm saying.

also. YAY carol's back! or UHG carol's back... depending on which side of the fence you're on. i personally am on the UHG side. uhg. just uhg.

reviews are awesome, messages are also great, it really helps me to keep going!

Stay Beautiful!