The sound of trumpets and eagles blared through the American morning skys above the Orange House. Inside, The Donald emerges from his bed like a man ready to take on the new day.

"Ah, America. Great country. Amazing country. So wonderful. I want to tell it good morning. It deserves it. It deserves the best, the greatest. Not something half hearted. Because today. Beautiful. Wonderful day. I look out the window. Big sun. Bright sun. I can see it smiling. Because its American, and it knows it. Its true. Look it up. The sun salutes me. It knows. Americans know. Ahh, just perfect. I have to say, how swell it is. Just amazing. Truely. Good morning America! Your president awaits!"

The Donald heads downstairs to meet his lovely husband Putin in the kitchen. Putin was making Паровые ветчины, a classic Russian dish. The steam coming out of the oven was a moist and warm as

"That was a great meal. Truely. The best. Might I even say, ever. The Russians, they know things. Food things. And how to make it. Its true. CNN will tell you Russians can't cook. Wrong! Fake news. Every one of them. Because I've had Russian food. And it's great. I've had other food too. Not good. Mexican food? Forget it. Get it out of here! Russian for me."

"Da, I'm glad you like it." Putin says as he cleans the dishes, shirtless. His well toned abs drip with the water that splashes up from the sink. The early morning light makes them glisten just so. "Oh no, my shirt got wet," Putin removes his abs to reveal a second, larger set of abs underneath.

"You know, this is great. Living like this. The best. No media to lie with their fake news. Gone! We did it. Complete peace. For us. And the people. The media won't tell you this. They say its worse. Wrong! It was worse before. But they'd never say. Not one of them. Except Fox. Great guys there. They know me. They have my show. The Donald Tales. I wrote it you know."

"I wouldn't call complete peace yet. My spies tell me that Obama got past Mecha-Stalin." Putin signed.

"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN! Fake news! I'm over it. Low energy. All of them."

"I wouldn't put it past Obama. There's something about that man…"

"I'll tell you about that man. I know him. A lot. Tones! I've followed him. Ever since he was president I knew him. Even before! Its true! He couldn't help America. He fed the Fake news. He even backed Crooked Hillary against me! Sad! She couldn't defeat me. The fake media couldn't defeat me! Not even I could defeat me! And I know all of my secrets. And I couldn't even surpass me. Impossible! Nothing gets through my wall. They say, tear down you're wall! And I shoot back. With my energy. I say 'You can't make me!' That's why I win. Because I can't lose. I'm too big to fall."

Putin simply turns his head. He knows better than to argue. He wasn't nearly as big as The Donald.

"I'll tell you what. I'll make a deal. Great deal! People don't get these kinds of opportunities often. Very Rare. SSR. You won't get it anywhere else. I know a guy. Big guy. Nothing gets past him. Except that one time. They burnt him. But they don't know. Their fire? Gone. But he. He survives. And is stronger. We rebuilt him. Of foil. Tin foil. The tin man I call him. Because his body was replaced. But now, his power. Is unstoppable."

The tin covered man enters the room. His silver body harshly reflected any and all light that graced his path.

"What is that thing?" Putin said surprised.

"I'M HUMAN!" IT SCREAMED

"Perhaps at one point. Surely you are more machine than man."

The tin man began to laugh. "This is simply my new ability Mr. Roboto. My metallic skin makes me virtually indestructible. No globalist conspiracy can penetrate my armor!"

"Alex Jones. I'm glad you're back. But we have a problem. Small problem. But important. Very important. Obama. He's still here. Not now. But he's coming. Its true! Putin told me. But he can't come here. He must be stopped. And you can do it. Because you are stronger."