Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of its characters. I also do not own any of the materials referenced in this story either. This was made for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. So there you go.
A/N: Happy birthday to Kye-Zhi!
Went on YouTube and listened to the Ultimate Showdown. I saw the flash version and the Brawl version and wondered if there was a Haruhi version. There were a few, but they weren't that great. So I made my own. I promise to post something scary later.
AND I ADDED CHAPTER NAMES, BECAUSE NUMBERS SUCK! :O
_____________________________________________________________________________________
The Ultimate Showdown of Haruhi Suzumiya:
A big blue Celsetial was hopping around
North High School like a big playground
When suddenly John Smith stopped soaking up some sun
and shot the Celestial with his gun
The giant got pissed and said, "I'm gonna hurt ya!"
but didn't expect to be blocked by Tsuruya
who proceeded to open up some hurt with a war cry
When Mori hit her while just passing by
-
And she started beating up Tsuruya, who people really like
Then they both got flattened by John Smith's bike
but before he could make it back to the clubroom
Ryoko Asakura materialized to seal his doom
and took a combat knife out, with a look in her eye
that said to the poor boy, "Oh, won't you please die?"
but when she ran right up to stab away
Mikuru shot a Beam to save the day
-
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
aliens, time-travelers, and espers as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
-
The Celestial took a swing at the moe maid, who dodged with ease
like how Tsuruya wolfs down her smoked-cheese
and then LOLFang-tan came back in a bike track
but Itsuki Koizumi jumped out and landed on her back
and Jonh Smith was freaked out, and trying to get steady
when crazy old Ryoko came back with a machete
but suddenly something caught her leg and she tripped
Kuyou Suou took her out with a hair tentacle whip
-
Then she saw the Celestial sneaking up from behind
and she called forth her data powers which she just couldn't find
'cause John neutralized them, took out his gun, shot, and missed
and Itsuki Koizumi deflected the bullet with his esper fist
then he flew into the air and did a somersault
while Ryoko tried to pole vault
onto little Kuyou, but they collided in the air it would seem
then they both got hit by a Mikuru Beam
-
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
aliens, time-travelers, and espers as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
-
Angels sang out in a spectacular show
down from the heavens descended Yuki Nagato
who delivered a kick that could shatter rock
into the area of Itsuki's unfortunate cock
who fell over on the ground, clutching at a broken bone
as John Smith changed back into Kyon
but Yuki saw through his clever three-year disguise
and she tried to crush Kyon's head inbetween her sexy thighs
-
Then Haruhi Suzumiya and Alternate-Haruhi came to steal the show and
Shamisen, Miyoko, and Imouto and
The Tamaru brothers and the butler Arakawa and
Sakanaka, her dogs, and Nakagawa
Kyouko, Fujiwara, Sasaki, and Emiri were there
Mr. Kimidori, Achakura, and every other Haruhi-chan character
The Computer Club Prez and his whole gang,
The IDE, the cave cricket, those two guys, the genderbents, and alternates came to serve pain
they all came out of nowhere lightning fast
and they all kicked Yuki in her bookworm ass
it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on in total awe
-
And the battle raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw who:
Churuya in a bloodstained sailor fuku
-
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
aliens, time-travelers, and espers as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
of Ultimate Destiny...
***
"Well," smiled the President of the Student Council, "Did you like my song? Pretty hip, huh? All that smoking makes my voice carry, doesn't it?"
Emiri Kimidori shuffled uncomfortably in her chair. "Well, it was a very interesting song I must admit. Some parts were a little off key, but it was catchy at least. There's one question I have though."
"Oh? What is it, Kimidori?" asked the Student Council President.
"Well... who in the world is Churuya?" questioned Emiri.
The chain-smoker's face fell and he stared at Emiri with a hardened gaze.
"Kimidori..."
"Yes?"
"Get the hell out of my office."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: Who knew that guy was such a fan of Churuya?
This was VERY hard to make so I hope you guys enjoyed it. I wonder if anyone will ever try to hum this? And remember, when something gets between Churuya and her cheese, almost nothing will stop her.
Tune in next time for:
Survival Horror!
Zombies!
Umbrellas!
Monsters that look like a certain part of the female anatomy!
And the most terrifying thing of all... SYMBOLISM!
Review Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!
