Chapter 44: Who Am I?

Riley's POV

I skip down the stairs to the kitchen. I can feel the heat radiating from the oven as my father bakes. It's a welcome warmth, given the cold of the winter season. I plop my 12-year-old self down on a stool by the counter.

"Daddy? Can I have a little sister for my birthday?" I ask.

Daddy bursts out laughing, wiping his hands on a tea towel. "Now why do you ask that?"

"I want a sibling who actually looks like me. Zephyr doesn't look anything like me." It's a hard thing to say, but it's true. My 10-year-old kid brother has blonde hair where mine is dark like Mama's. Where I have grey eyes, his are a brilliant blue.

Daddy has gone strangely quiet. A long bout of silence like this does not bode well for what I'm after.

"So?" I press. "Can I have a little sister?"

"Riley," he manages heavily. "I think…. it's time I tell you something I should have told you a long time ago." He kneels down so that I am at his eye level and rubs my arms comfortingly. He suddenly has tears streaming down his face.

I'm deeply concerned. I've almost never seen my Daddy cry. "Daddy?"

"I'm not your Daddy." It comes our rather quickly.

My world stops spinning. That's not possible….. Who else has fed me, dressed me, bathed me, played with me and Zephyr? No one but the handsome man who I have idolized all my life. He's my Daddy….. right?

"But…. how can that be?" I get out.

"You are not mine biologically, Riley. But before I explain, know that you are mine in every other sense. I trust you can understand that. But…. you have to know who you really are." He stands and calls up the stairs: "Katniss!"

My mother comes down. Even when in pajamas and staying in for the day, she still looks so beautiful. Peeta nods. "It's time."


I sit on the couch in front of the TV as Daddy drops a cassette into the video player. Then, my parents cuddle me close and I lose myself in the 74th Annual Hunger Games.

As soon as the District 12 tributes are introduced, I know who the dark-haired, grey-eyed young man is. My real father. I should feel elated, but the title can scarcely be formed on my lips. It feels alien, still untrue.

I watch as my father, more myth now than man, battles his way through weeks of a forested arena. At last, after he and his ally engage Cato Ludwig in a fierce duel, the District 2 victor I have come to know over the years and my father face off. Cato stabs him through the stomach and the video ends.

Daddy stands silently and ejects the tape. I sit numbly. "Gale Hawthorne…. is my father," I speak slowly, trying to wrap my mind around the concept.

Mama sighs and strokes my back. Her voice is thick. "Now you know."

I stare at her. The thought of my mother loving anyone other than Daddy is frankly absurd. "If I was born nine months after those Games, then how….?"

"I became pregnant with you just before he left," Mama says gently. She nods to her husband. "Daddy helped me through my grief and my pregnancy when I lost your father."

I turn back to Daddy. "But…. my last name is Mellark….."

"We gave you my name so we could protect you," Daddy tells me, his expression so tender I can't help but nod.

"So, what should I call you now?"

"Whatever you like," and Daddy's voice is soft.

I burst into tears and run into his arms. "It's not fair! Just not fair! You deserve some credit, too! You are my Daddy!"

His dry chuckle vibrates against my body. "Riley, this isn't about who gets credit. Unlike the Games, claiming you was never a competition between your father and me. It was just the hand that was dealt. Besides, DNA by itself doesn't make a family. Love does."

I sigh. He's right. I can't afford to be technical. I turn my face up to look at him. "Then…. I will still call you Daddy. You'll always be Daddy to me."

Daddy's tears fall on my upturned face. "Thank you, Riley. I'd like that very much."

I turn back to Mama. "As for Gale….. He'll be….. Father."

Mama nods, and I see her eyes sparkle with unshed tears. "He would have loved that."

I release Daddy and my eyes shift between my parents. "One more thing." I pause. "Can I have your permission to change my last name at the Justice Building? To Hawthorne?"

Mama wordlessly looks to Daddy. It's his decision. And without another thought, he nods.

"Of course."


A few days later, a clerk allows me to legally change my surname at the Justice Building. Until the day I get married, I will never have it altered again. I am no longer Riley Rose Mellark.

I am Riley Rose Hawthorne.