Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just my Husband, laptop, my 2 Boxers/clowns, a Schipperke and a very overactive imagination… Dragon Ball Z and any songs mentioned in this fic DO NOT belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted amusement.

Hello Everyone!

I know it's been like forever! My most deepest and humble apologies for that!

I've been bombarded with work (I do artificial nails on evenings and weekends on the side and am starting to help other people train their dogs as well), other projects (If you haven't heard, there was something called the Big Bang Challenge in which authors were randomly paired with artists to do fan art to go along with their stories. There is a collection of all the story submissions on Archive of our Own. I participated in that, so I had to put this story on hiatus for a while to focus on that and meet deadlines. My story that I submitted, entitled Glorious, is also posted both here and on A03. I highly recommend checking out the rest of the amazing stories! I have read almost all of them and they are all worth reading! If you're looking for some new, quality B&V stories that are complete along with some beautiful artwork, go there and binge your little hearts out!) and dog obedience competitions (I am hoping to start trialing my now not puppy this spring in his first obedience trial in May, so we are preparing and training lots for that!). My hubby and I took our first vacation ever too! We went to Ireland for two and a half weeks for his cousin's wedding! It was spectacular! I cannot wait to go back! I've also started a new position at work where I actually have to work all day, instead of being able to write when I'm not busy.

To all the Guest commenters complaining about the lack of updates these past months (Some of them I deleted, some I left)- I cannot reply to you if you're not signed in, so hounding me repeatedly about why I'm not updating when I can't, doesn't do anything but frustrate me because I can't say "Hey! I'm doing XYZ, but have not abandoned this story!" For future reference if you don't want to sign in and send me an actual message, you can also check out my profile on here, which I did update, mentioning that this story was on hiatus and why. You can also check out my Tumblr, where I mentioned it as well.

I'm not sure when I will be able to update again after this chapter, as I have some things that I need to decide on before proceeding and then need to sit down and actually write it. Please know, that I'm doing my best, but have a lot on my plate in real life. I do this for fun and can only write when I am not completely mentally exhausted because I refuse to put out anything I am not one thousand and ten percent happy with.

Thanks a bunch to those of you still reading and following despite my sporadic updates! *Virtual hug!*

Previously:

Vegeta has finally recovered fully, Bulma is sinking deeper into depression and self-guilt over what happened while trapped on King Cold's base but cannot bring herself to tell Vegeta what really happened and why she's withdrawing from him. Vegeta and Trunks had the opportunity to spar and bond together.

Chapter 51

Vegeta swung a right hook at Raditz and missed. Again. "Fuck," he snarled.

"What has you so distracted today?" Raditz asked. It wasn't often he had the upper hand against his prince; especially as of late. Since regaining his ki a week ago, Vegeta's progress had doubled. His stamina was improving, his range of motion was almost back to where it needed to be.

"Mind your own business," he grunted.

"Actually, it's not just today, but the last few days you've been off and I know it has nothing to do with anything physical." Raditz said.

A week had passed since he had gotten his ki back and with it his strength was returning quickly as well. Vegeta continued training hard, Bulma continued to sink more into herself. She'd taken to sleeping for large parts of the day. If she wasn't preparing meals for Trunks and Vegeta or helping her mother in her garden, she was asleep in bed.

Vegeta had tried to approach her and encourage her to talk to him with no success. He hadn't tried again to instigate anything intimate between them. He was becoming more and more concerned about her withdrawn behavior and wasn't sure what to do to the point where it was all he could think about.

Vegeta sighed as he relaxed from his fighting stance. Talking about and discussing his personal life to anyone other than Bulma was not something he did, but so far he hadn't come up with any solutions on his own. "Bulma is not well," he said.

"She's sick?" Raditz asked with a frown. He'd seen her just the previous day and she'd seemed fine to him.

"No, she is not sick…" he replied, trying to think up a way to explain what he meant. Saiyans didn't get depressed. Or if they did, it was usually over the death of a bonded mate or something extreme like what had happened to Vegeta. "She is withdrawn. Only gets up to prepare meals and assist her mother. Her appetite isn't great and she mainly wants to sleep."

"So you recover and she gets all sad?" Asia asked with a frown. "I thought she wanted you to make a full recovery."

"She did," Vegeta replied. "My recovery has nothing to do with whatever it is that is going on in her head."

"Right," she rolled her eyes. "Have you tried talking with her about it? We all know you're not much of a conversationalist."

"I have attempted to, but she will not say what is wrong."

Raditz nodded in understanding. He knew what the problem was, but wasn't sure if he should say, or mind his own business. It wasn't that he didn't care, it just wasn't his place to intervene. "Have you tried… I don't know courting her?"

Vegeta snorted. "You and Kakarott, always full of useless suggestions." That had been Kakarott's solution way back when Bulma's mind had been scrambled by Gero.

"Say what you want, but you were kind of an asshole to her the whole time you were incapacitated," he reminded him. "Just sayin', it may not be a bad idea to you know… buy her some flowers or do something to woo her. Apparently human women like that sorta thing; or so I've observed since being here."

Asia shook her head at them and decided to take a break from sparring with them. "I'm going to look for the boys," she said. "You try again to talk to her and don't leave her with the option to not tell you. Then maybe you can get your head back into your training."

"Yikes," Raditz winced after she shut the door. "You game to keep going or do you want a break as well?"

"Let's go," Vegeta said, taking up a fighting stance. He would approach her later on this evening, he decided.

-0-0-0-

Asia exited the gravity room and headed towards Bulma and Vegeta's home. If no one else could get it out of her what was going on, then she would.

She knocked once at the door and she heard the boys racing down the stairs. "Hey Asia!" Trunks greeted her. "You come to ask us to train? We just finished having lunch."

"You can go find Vegeta and Raditz in the gravity room if you wish, I'm actually here to speak with your mother if she's available?"

"Oh, mom's in the room over here," Trunks volunteered, pointing to the small office room on the main floor. "She started working on something the other day."

"Thank you," she said, walking in and towards the room. "Go train, but be careful,"

"We will!" they both said in unison, leaving the house.

Asia paused a moment before going forward. She didn't even know why she cared enough to even be bothered doing this. "Hey," she greeted Bulma somewhat cautiously from the door. "Can I talk to you?"

Bulma looked up from her desk and looked at her a moment before nodding at her. "Sure," she said, wondering what she wanted.

"I hope this isn't a bad time," she said, stepping into her office and closing the door.

"It's fine," she smiled awkwardly. "I've been at this all day, I should take a break."

"What are you working on?" Asia asked, noticing there were papers and drawings strewn all over the desk.

"Training bots for the guys," she sighed, stretching. "And for you too, I guess. I had an idea the other day and decided yesterday to attempt something. Not sure if it'll be of any help,"

"That's a good idea," she nodded, surprised. Vegeta obviously was not aware that she was doing other things than just sleeping and gardening. "Look, I know it isn't any of my business and I can understand if you don't want to discuss things of a personal nature with me, but what is going on with you and Vegeta?"

"What do you mean?" Bulma asked with a frown but inwardly cringed. Asia was right, she didn't want to discuss anything with her.

"Things just seem really tense between you two. Vegeta of course won't say anything except that he's giving you your space. I don't know what that means, but I know that it is hurting him," Asia said to her carefully, trying not to come off as though she thought Bulma was deliberately trying to hurt Vegeta or that she was accusing her of anything. "You both have come through something horrible, I understand that; but why are you distancing yourself from him now? You were so patient, so amazing with him when he was broken; you may think I didn't notice, but I did. I thought for sure he couldn't come back from it, Raditz too was convinced beyond a doubt that he was ruined and that he would never be the same again; but you never gave up on him, you pushed him and believed in him and now look at him. He's slowly becoming stronger and more confident than ever. Not that it matters, but any doubts that I may have had about you were squashed; you are the best possible person for him and I am deeply ashamed of my past actions against you. He was right to choose you, I realize that now; not that you need my approval at this point or anything, but I wanted to tell you that anyway."

Bulma nodded, not sure what to say. She didn't need or even want Asia's approval on whether or not she was good for Vegeta or worthy of him or whatever.

"I know it's not my place to interfere, but whatever it is that's bothering you and causing you to withdraw from him, you need to sort that out and get over it," she said firmly after a long, awkward drawn out silence from Bulma. "I'm sure you went through a lot, I'm not trying to dismiss that-"

"You have no idea," Bulma said quietly. "You have no idea what I endured and went through over there. Nobody does."

Asia nodded. "I'm sorry, I really am. If you need to talk about it, I know I'm not great at that sort of thing, but I am here if you want. I know we aren't close or anything so I understand if you tell me to fuck off, but you helped me by caring for my son and for that I can never repay you."

"Thank you, but you don't owe me anything for that. I only did what I would have hoped anyone else would do for me." Bulma said sincerely. She didn't want the other woman feel she owed her anything, nor did she want her to feel she had to be nice to her because of everything she had been through. She just wanted to be left alone to sort through everything on her own.

Asia nodded and looked at her closely. While she didn't know Bulma well at all, she could see the toll the last several years had taken on her. She wasn't sure why she felt so compelled to help her, but she did; her feelings of gratitude over her taking care of her son were only part of it. "Whatever it is you are going through, please don't push him away. Until I experienced a complete bond for myself, I never understood it. I was jealous that you shared that with Vegeta because it's what I wanted with someone. I have that now with Raditz, and it is such a beautiful gift.

"If you cannot bring yourself to talk about something that happened to you, share it with him through the bond. Whatever it is, I know he won't desert you. He's worried about you. He won't come out and say it, and he doesn't know I'm here talking to you, but I know he is very concerned about you, as am I."

Bulma shrugged. "Hmm, if I didn't know that you were bonded to Raditz, you know I'd be really suspicious of your motives here."

"I appreciate that, given our past," she nodded in understanding. "Please trust that my motives are sincere. If for no other reason I am concerned of the wellbeing of my prince, but I do care about you. Tarble speaks very highly of you, and it disturbs me that even I can see that you are not alright despite my not knowing you all that well."

"Thank you for your concern, Asia. It really means a lot, especially coming from you, but I'm fine," she said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms in a very Vegeta-like way and Asia wondered if she'd unintentionally adopted the mannerism from him. "You wouldn't understand anyway, so don't trouble yourself with it. I'll be fine, I just need to work through a few things on my own."

Asia narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously, unsure how to respond. Being nice and beating around the bush over an issue wasn't exactly her way of dealing with things, however it was the approach she had taken with Bulma, assuming it would go over better than a more forward approach. "You don't think I would understand?" She huffed, deciding that she needed to be more direct with her if she was going to attempt to get her to open up. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and make an assumption, hopefully I'm wrong, but if I'm right, I may understand what you are going through a whole lot better than you might think."

"Yea, okay," Bulma snorted. "You've been here living happily ever after over here these past several years."

"True, but do you not remember who I was with before any of this?" she snipped at her. "My life, being mated to King Vegeta was hell. In the beginning it wasn't so bad, he was alright; but once it was all finalized things changed. He didn't care about me or what I wanted or didn't want. The things I let him do in an effort to keep him interested and in the hopes that maybe there was a chance for our relationship to grow into something more meaningful than a political transaction was beyond shameful. Things didn't work out with Vegeta like I had hoped, so I tried my best to make them work with his father because in my mind that was the next best thing. It wasn't, and it took me a long time to overcome it, but I did. I couldn't have done it without Raditz. If something horrible happened to you over there, you need to tell Vegeta and work through it together."

Bulma chewed on the inside of her cheek as she listened to Asia. She had apparently completely misjudged her. Her skin crawled at the memory of his father and what he'd done. Her hand was a constant reminder. "I can't," she replied quietly, looking at her hand. "It would hurt him too much."

"Maybe; I know he is very protective over you, but I can guarantee you that you are hurting him a whole lot more by distancing yourself as you have been," she pushed. "He is hurting and while I am sensitive to you and whatever may have happened, it still pisses me off that you are pushing him away."

"I'm not trying to hurt him," she admitted. "The opposite actually. It will hurt him if I tell him. You're right, he is very protective of me. If I tell him everything that happened, he will blame and punish himself for it and I don't want that; it wasn't his fault that he couldn't protect me. I don't blame him for not-"

"Well tell him that! Not me." Asia snorted.

Bulma pursed her lips, but didn't say anything more. She knew she was right… She just wasn't ready to confront Vegeta with it.

They were both quiet for a few awkward seconds before Bulma spoke again. "I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. I just need time. I don't know what Raditz told you-"

"He didn't tell me anything," she said. "I figured it out all on my own while observing you. Vegeta will too eventually, he's not stupid. When he does, he'll be angrier at you for not telling him than he will if you just told him already. Trust me."

"I know!" she snapped in frustration. "And if you're so sympathetic towards me over something you think happened, you should understand my not wanting to talk about it."

Asia sighed and shook her head as she stood. The girl was stubborn, she she'd give her that. "Suit yourself, I was only trying to help,"

"Thank you," Bulma said. Truthfully, she was both shocked and touched that the other woman cared enough to even attempt to talk to her. "I will talk with him, just in my own time. Thank you for your concern. I do appreciate it. I'm sorry I misjudged your intentions or anything you may have gone through. It honestly didn't even cross my mind."

"Don't worry about me," she smirked. "I've never been better. Just sort yourself out and be happy. What's in the past doesn't matter."

"I suppose it doesn't," she nodded in agreement, though refrained from laughing at the other woman's version of a pep talk. She could see, however that she meant well and appreciated the fact that it probably had not been easy for her to approach her given that they weren't on the best of terms most of the time.

"Be well," Asia said to her as she awkwardly left her office and saw herself out of Bulma's home.

-0-0-0-

The rest of the afternoon passed by without incident. Bulma made dinner and her parents stopped by afterwards with a tasty dessert and a nightcap. Trunks and Tarble turned in for bed early; apparently Raditz had made them train under ten times gravity that afternoon, so they were wiped.

Bulma revealed the new training bot plans to Vegeta and her father. It was met with enthusiasm and approval. Both Vegeta and her father were happy to see Bulma putting some thought and effort into something positive.

After her parents left, Bulma opted to go to bed early. She wasn't in an overly social mood, she thought guiltily. Asia's visit today had put her in a somewhat foul mood. She knew the other woman had meant well, but she still didn't feel up to discussing it and she hoped she wouldn't decide to talk to Vegeta about her suspicions. Breaking down and spilling everything to Raditz that day had apparently been a bad idea, not that she was surprised. It wasn't like her to bombard someone else with her problems and this was exactly why. No one could keep anything to themselves.

Vegeta came to bed not long after she'd turned in. He'd given what Raditz had said some thought and wondered if possibly she was angry with him for the awful things he'd said to her when he was recovering? Perhaps she did need some romancing? He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He knew she was still awake from the way she was breathing.

He waited for her to respond to him, usually she'd arch her backside into his groin or take his hand and place it between her legs. Except she didn't do that.

He waited for a few more moments, wondering if she was waiting for him to be the instigator. He didn't know and for the first time in their union he was unsure of what to do. She had made no advancements towards him since they had gotten out. Of course, physically he had been in no shape to do anything intimate with her anyway, but did she think he was still physically inept? Did she think that he did not want her anymore for some ridiculous reason?

Deciding that was possibly the issue, he nuzzled the back of her neck and slid one of his hands down and into the front of her shorts, stroking her gently.

Unfortunately, she immediately went stiff in his arms and he removed his hand from her shorts. "Not now, Vegeta," she said, taking his hand, lacing her fingers with his and settled in his arms.

Vegeta wasn't sure how to respond. So she didn't want him touching her intimately, but she was alright with him holding her? It made no sense to him. It was a mixed signal. He lay there with her for a while, hoping that since he had made his intentions known that she might reciprocate.

She didn't.

Bulma's mind raced as panic flooded her. Things between them had been great since his recovery. Since last week he hadn't tried again to instigate anything and instead of telling him, she'd withdrawn further out of guilt. She knew she wasn't ready.

"Bulma," he said quietly into her ear.

She grit her teeth and took a deep breath. She knew eventually they would come to this point. He'd only patiently accept her rebuff for so long before he got impatient with her. She had been dreading it. She wasn't ready to talk to him about it, but she didn't want to hurt him either.

"I want you," he said, lightly kissing the back of her neck. "I'm not… disabled."

"I know you aren't," she replied as she tried to think of a reasonable explanation without having to get into the real reason as to why she did not want to be intimate with him. She knew that he would never insist on it, but she could not remember a time when she had denied him when they had been together before everything had happened. He would know that something was wrong if she didn't go along with it.

As the moment dragged on, he picked up on her apprehension and his heart sank because he could feel that there was something critical she had not yet told him. She had been good at keeping a part of herself blocked off from him. It had taken him a while to notice but now that he had, it bothered him.

He decided that the best way to handle it at the moment was to do nothing and allow her her space.

She felt him relax and knew he had taken the hint that she wasn't interested in anything more and rather than feeling relieved, she hated herself. How many times had she just sucked it up and put out for Jeyice, yet here was her husband who she loved and she knew loved her in return and she could not bring herself to pretend to respond to him. Where was the fairness in that? It's just sex, she tried to reason. That was what Jeyice had always argued. That she was over reacting.

-0-0-0-

The next day was awkward between them. They'd both gone on about their day, speaking little to one another and avoiding each other at every opportunity.

Deciding tonight that he would confront her and get to the bottom of this, Vegeta waited until evening time after her shower. He came up behind her in the spacious washroom as she was finishing up brushing her teeth and combing her still wet hair, a towel wrapped firmly around her. She had assumed he'd stay up a while longer instead of turning in for the night as well. It wasn't that late.

His heart sank as he felt her tense up at his touch when he lightly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her gently into him and rested his chin on her shoulder to look at her through the mirror. Why was she still recoiling from him?

"I am well again. You are a large part responsible for that; you pushed me and helped me when I myself believed I would never be able to get back to a fraction of the way I was before. I may not have been patient and I know I lashed out my frustrations at my condition on you wrongfully, but you never left my side or gave up on me. Yet I am whole again and now you avoid me like the plague. Why?" he asked her, looking intently at her through the mirror watching her carefully for any kind of reaction that may give her thoughts away, anything that may give him some kind of insight and understanding as to what was going on with her.

"I'm not avoiding you," she sighed guiltily, knowing that it wasn't what she wanted to do to him, but knowing that she was still doing it nonetheless. "Not intentionally, anyway. I'm going through a lot, Vegeta."

He nodded once in agreement. "I think we both are, but as you reminded me countless times through my recovery, we need to lean on and rely on each other."

She half smiled at him through the mirror, knowing that he had her. She had said that, many times, and now that he was better, she was avoiding him to deal with her own issues on her own rather than opening up to him like she knew she should be. She was being the worst kind of hypocrite right now and she knew it.

"Do you see me as less of a man because of everything that happened?"

"No, no, Vegeta, not at all! That's not it."

"Then what is it?" he asked, the hurt and unsure look on his face nearly breaking her heart. "Was there someone else-?"

"Oh god, no Vegeta!" she cut him off. "There's never been anyone else, not-"

"If there was, I understand," he said quietly; the pained look he was obviously trying so hard to keep hidden from her, clear as day to her. "I failed you, and I failed Trunks. If there was someone else you turned to because I couldn't-"

"No, Vegeta," she said quickly, turning herself around awkwardly in his arms so that she could look right at him herself, not through the mirror. She placed her fingers on his lips, not wanting him to finish that thought. "I never, there was never anyone else not... not like…" she started to sob, unable to finish her sentence; she couldn't. She didn't want to tell him. How could she? He didn't remember any of it. She didn't want him to ever remember what had happened and thankfully there were things that had happened while he had been in the regeneration tank that he had not witnessed or been privy to. While she wanted it kept that way so as to not have him feel even more guilt, the memories of it all were eating away at her from the inside out like a cancer.

Bulma propped her bum up on the counter as she wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly, drawing him in, needing to have him as close to her as possible as she wept bitterly into the crook of his neck.

Vegeta's frown deepened at his reflection staring back at him, fear gripping him on the inside as she sobbed uncontrollably and clung to him for dear life. He wrapped his arms around her carefully, having no idea how to begin comforting her; this reaction was not what he had expected when he had decided to confront her this evening. He had expected a few different outcomes. Her being angry at him and blaming him for what had happened these past several years had been at the top of his list, along with her being upset at how he had treated her during his recovery when all she had wanted to do was help him. In his shame, he had pushed her away; he was ashamed of himself for how he had been and assumed that had been the main reason for her acting so distant towards him, not that he blamed her. He would have happily taken responsibility for that.

The other outcome that had occurred to him was that she had completely lost her faith and confidence in him over all of this. While completely understandable, he was ready to address it and prove to her that now that he was well again, he was more than capable of looking after her and Trunks.

Finally, in his insecurity, he wondered if she had found someone else to lean on during everything. While it would hurt him deeply that someone else had been her pillar while he could not be, he would do his best to work through it and not be angry with her. In any other scenario he would have been enraged with her, but this was different all together. If she had strayed, she was still with him now and had displayed such unwavering loyalty to him in the way she had helped him recover and even now stuck by him; he decided he would find it in his heart to forgive her if she had sought out some sort of brief comfort and respite from another man in his absence.

If it wasn't any of these things, then why was she acting so distant towards him and why was she so distraught? He had never seen her like this; it frightened him to his very core. The only other scenario that occurred to him was that maybe someone had violated her, however he did not want to even entertain that thought for more than a few moments at a time even though it was becoming more than likely that something like that had happened to her. If it had, why wouldn't she tell him? He wouldn't be angry with her over that.

"Tell me, Bulma," he whispered softly into her ear, stroking her damp hair soothingly. "Whatever it is, tell me. I am so sorry I wasn't there; for that I will never forgive myself, but I am with you now. Whatever it is, you do not have to endure it alone. Let me in."

"I can't, Vegeta," she cried, still clinging to him for dear life. "You don't want to know."

"If it troubles you this much and causes you to turn away from me the way you have been, then I do want to know," he said gently. "Tell me, Bulma."

She shook her head. "Not now," she sighed, trying to pull herself together. "I can't right now, I'm not ready. I just need to be close to you," she kept her face buried in the crook of his neck, unable to look at him.

Vegeta wasn't sure what to do, so he just continued to stand there, holding her and stared back at his own reflection in the mirror. It was then that he noticed scars on her shoulder; four long lines like those of fingers. He brought up one of his hands and lightly brushed his fingers along the top of her shoulder; they were slightly raised and marred the skin like shallow grooves. They weren't overly obvious, but now that he had noticed them, they were all he could see. How could he have not noticed sooner? He berated himself, wondering what other physical scars she had suffered after everything that he had not noticed.

Anxiety and alarm washed through Bulma as she felt him brush his fingers along her shoulder; she knew he would have noticed. She leaned back and looked at him, hoping and praying he would not ask about their origin. She just did not have it in her to discuss and relive it. "All you need to know is anything that happened and anything I am going through right now has nothing to do with you and I will tell you what I can when I am ready. Alright?"

He nodded once at her, deeply disturbed by the discovery of the scars on her back and wanting more than anything for her to open up to him, but not wanting to push her if it wasn't something she was up for. He brushed the tears from her cheeks, unsure if he should be relieved that she was not angry with him or alarmed that there was some other deep seated secret that she felt she could not confront with him at all.

He leaned in to brush her lips with his but she leaned back and turned her face to the side at the last minute, avoiding him. She placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away gently. "I need to get dressed," she whispered, looking down at the ground between them. "Meet me in bed?" she added quickly, not wanting him to think she did not want him around at all.

"Is… that what you want?" he asked, truly unsure how to approach things with her now as a wave of understanding and full realization struck him hard right then and there like a ton of bricks. Someone had violated her he realized. That was why she pushed him away and flinched at even the lightest touch from him unless she instigated the contact. That was why she rebuffed any and all advances he made in an effort to reinstate their union; it all made sense to him now. The thought had occurred to him before, but he assumed she would have at least told him. He clenched his teeth together in anger and rage as the full implications of the thought that someone had wrongfully touched her or taken her by force weighed on him and plagued him. Another reminder of the fact that he had not been able to protect her and worse yet, he had not been able to be there for her as even an emotional support when she'd needed him the most. Not only was she traumatized, but apparently she had physical evidence of it as well that he'd never noticed and upon further thought, realized that she made a point of never changing or bathing in front of or with him, nor did she wear anything revealing.

She nodded at him. "Yea, I do. I just need to be close to you if that's ok."

"It is," he said quietly. If his suspicions were correct, he had no idea how to go about helping her, but he would not leave her alone to let her thoughts eat away at her. "I will go and check on Trunks. I will be back."

Bulma gave him a half smile, glad that he didn't seem angry with her. She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily through her mouth trying to dispel her anxiety as soon as he exited the washroom and closed the door behind him. She turned around looked at herself in the mirror and gave herself a self-loathing look, trying to keep herself together from hyperventilating and falling into another emotional outburst. She knew it was irrational for her to feel this way, around Vegeta especially; he would not push her for something she was not ready for, nor would he resent her for anything that had happened… she hoped.

She grabbed her pajamas and stood there a moment as another tremor of grief and anxiety ripped through her. She leaned against the bathroom door and slid down the length of it, trying to calm herself down before facing Vegeta again. She hung her head in shame as her body convulsed in silent sobs as she sat there for several minutes, just purging her system and clearing her mind, taking several deep breaths in an effort to pull herself together; completely unaware that Vegeta was on the other side of the door, sitting on the floor, grieving as well.

Vegeta sat on the floor and leaned against the door, his head tipped back as he swallowed down the sheer rage and anger threatening to burst forth and consume him.

He had assumed she had suffered and had gone through horribleness while he had been oblivious to it all while he had been trapped in the regeneration tank. He remembered now having dreams; horrible dreams and nightmares about her and about Trunks. He wondered then if they had been dreams after all or had they been real and through their bond he had seen these things.

He hoped not, but if her reaction and angst was any indication, he had a horrible feeling. He only hoped he could bring her back to him. She had faithfully stood by him now he would do the same for her; that is if she would let him. He had been so self absorbed in his own misery over his own condition that he didn't blame her at all for not feeling like she could be open with him over something as awful as that happening to her.

He grit his teeth and stood up, he had said he would check on Trunks, he would do that.

Vegeta made his way to his son's room. He was sleeping soundly. He leaned against the door frame, looking at him closely. He barely knew his son, he thought bitterly. Everything he had ever wanted to shelter his son from had happened anyway. What was it with his life that nothing ever went as planned and nothing was ever easy? It was like his whole life was meant to have nothing but suffering and misfortune. Anyone he got close to or touched became an extension of that.

Everything was his fault. All of it. Here they had made it through another round of horribleness. Seven years! And he was damaged. His mate was damaged and his son reminded him much too much of himself at that age in that he was far more mature than he should be.

He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard their bathroom door open quietly. He turned to look at her and contemplated whether or not he should go to her or leave her be. He did not want to make her uncomfortable, however he did not want her to face alone the demons plaguing her. He had not been there for her first hand, he thought regrettably; he did not want her to be alone now.

She approached him and looked into Trunks room. "He is such a good boy," she whispered. "I was trying to say earlier and I got all emotional, but if there was anyone that got me through everything, it was him. He gave me the strength and the courage to endure. You have no idea how many times I have been so thankful that we had him. I know that things didn't turn out for us and that he was raised in an environment neither one of us would have wished on any child, but he is strong. He reminds me so much of you."

"That is not a good thing," he commented softly.

"You say that, but if he weren't, he'd either have not made it or they would have turned him against us completely," she said. "He knows who he is."

"Hmmn," he nodded. "You can take everything from a Saiyan and you can beat him down but there is one thing you can never take away, and that is his pride."

"He's definitely your son then," she chuckled quietly. "I'm tired, let's go."

He looked questioningly at her. "Do you want..?" he asked, cautiously, letting the question hang in the awkward air between them. If she was more comfortable with him away from her, then maybe he should give her her space and sleep elsewhere; he wasn't sure. He wanted to help her, but this would have to be at her own pace. He felt silly for approaching her at all this evening.

"Yea," she smiled softly, taking his hand. "I do."

He followed her lead as she led him back to their room and closed the door.

She crawled into bed and waited for him before she brought an arm around his waist and rested her head on his chest, snuggling close into him.

Vegeta pulled the covers over them and brought an arm around her, pulling her closer to him and laced his fingers with hers on the hand that was resting on his abdomen.

They lay there quietly for what felt like forever to both of them. Neither able to sleep, not with everything as it was.

"I'm sorry, Vegeta," she said finally, her voice small and sounding unsure.

He gently squeezed her hand in response, not wanting to rush her, but subtly letting her know that he was listening if she needed to talk.

It took her several more long moments before she started again, wanting to keep her emotions in check and speak rationally with him. "I'm not trying to avoid you or push you away. It's not that I lost faith in you or that I'm angry with you over your frustration when you were in recovery. I also did not have an affair while in there. I'm just… I need to get myself back on track and I don't know how or even what that means.

"There's things that happened to me while I was there; bad things. Things I need to put behind me and I know you want to be a support to me, but I don't want to burden you or make you feel guilty and beat yourself up over things that happened that were beyond either of our control," she said slowly in a detached tone that sent a chill through his bones. "That is why I have been distant. It's not your fault."

"So you would rather suffer and dwell on these things alone?" he asked.

"No, but I don't want you feeling like you failed us. I feel it from you already, constantly, and it breaks me inside. I need you to stop blaming yourself."

"You do not understand what it does to me-" he started.

"No, I do understand, Vegeta. I do," she quickly cut him off. "But what's done is done, we can't change it. Let's take the time now to make it right and salvage what's left of our lives."

"Agreed," he nodded. "I will work on that, but you need to come to terms with your stuff as well. And why is this plaguing you now all of a sudden? Or was I that blind to have not seen it before?"

"No, you weren't blind," she answered. "I was so focused and determined to get you better again that I threw my all into it, not thinking about any of that other crap. Now that you are better and you don't need me, well now my mind has the time to dwell on these things."

"I do need you, woman," he whispered quietly. "I will always need you. Do not ever think otherwise."

"No, I know that; you know what I meant though. You can walk again and don't rely on me to do everything for you. You don't need physio anymore or anything like that. While horrible, it kept me focused on that and not all the other things."

"Then let us address it and put it behind you," he said. "I know it will not be pleasant but let me in, let me work through it with you. I could not be with you first hand, let me be here for you now."

"I will, in my own time. I can't go there just yet," she said again. "Right now I'm just thankful we are together again. I just need to be close to you. Please, Vegeta. Just hold me?"

He nodded once and rolled onto his side so that he was facing her. He reached forward and brushed her hair from her eyes. "I will do whatever you wish for me to do."

"I know," she sighed, leaning into him. Her anxiety over his gentle touch and close proximity was still there, but she ignored it; she had to if she was ever going to work through this.

He settled in, holding her close and thought on everything. "Hmmn," he grunted more to himself.

"What?" she asked, raising her face to look at him.

"I was just thinking what a shame it is that we could not go back and change things," he said quietly. "What I would not give to be able to do that."

"We could, but it wouldn't change our time line. We would still be here and dealing with all this. Nothing can ever change that. All we could do would be to go back and warn our past selves so that they don't end up making the same mistakes, but that's about it. That would be a whole different outcome time line."

She felt his chest rumble as he chuckled at her. "I see you have given this a lot of thought."

"Oh, I did a whole lot more than that," she sighed, settling in closer to him. This was something she was comfortable in telling him that she hadn't realized she'd kept from him.

"Really? What did you do?" He asked with interest, glad that she seemed at ease for the moment, distracted from dwelling on the negative. He truthfully couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her look comfortable or at ease, naturally anyway rather than a show for him.

"Well, I had a lot of spare time on my hands and not a lot of supervision. I tried to come up with every possible plan to escape, but that was impossible for the longest time. So I did the next best thing," she explained.

"Alright, and what was that?"

"I built a time machine," she replied casually with a shrug as though it were the most obvious explanation in the world.

"You built a time machine?"

"Uh huh."

He smirked at her. Never in all the time they had known each other did she cease to amaze him. Even now, after everything. "I am not going to ask how you did it because such a thing is beyond me, but how did it work out?"

"Oh it worked," she snorted in a slightly arrogant tone that made him chuckle. "I Umm... I made a trip or two."

"Back?" He asked.

"Yea," she nodded. "I went back to warn us well, you."

He was silent a moment as he took in the information. "Did it work?"

"I don't know. I haven't been back. I hope so. You were pretty shaken up when I spoke to you."

"Wait a minute, you spoke to me?" He asked. How weird was that? "What did I say?"

"Well, it took me mentioning certain things that I swore to you I would never repeat to anyone to finally convince you that I was who I was claiming to be. Before you decided I was telling the truth, you weren't the most pleasant guy I have ever chatted up; but a lot of that probably had to do with what was happening right before I showed up. After that you were alright."

"When did you go back?" He asked. "Like in the past?"

"I went back the night of the banquet. Remember your father had a big shindig in honor of your return?"

"Yes."

"That's the night I chose; and remember we got into a huge argument when we got back to your room over you not telling me about your longer lifespan?"

"Of course. I left for a little while because I had said things to you that I had not meant."

"Right. That's the moment I chose. I found you in the courtyard and you were all pissy and brooding and looking sexy as hell."

He smirked at her. "You could not have picked a worse time to approach me."

"I knew that; but if you think about everything, there was no other time. Everything after that night went to hell in a hand basket. Between us, all of our careful planning. I decided if there was a moment to change it then that was it."

"I suppose," he agreed. "So what did we do to change it?'

"I don't really know. I tried to be as non-damaging as possible and just warn you of the outcome. I told you that your father set you up, that Cold was expecting you and about his army of android Ice-jin. I gave them the blue prints of them too so they could work out a strategy on how to destroy them. I told him how Trunks and I were taken and captured and how you tried your best, but ended up in the regen tank for the last several years."

He nodded and sighed heavily in regret. "And how did that go over?"

"Not great. You were pretty upset and took it pretty hard for about a minute and then you yelled at me for coming to warn you instead of packing Trunks up and leaving."

"Well I'm absolutely right," he huffed. "You should have pulled the plug and left me there. I mean I am glad now that you did not do that, but that still would have been the smarter strategy."

She sighed and turned his face so that she could look at him. "You know what? That's exactly what you said. You said that you would be angrier at my not leaving than getting out and leaving you behind. And I knew you were right, but I didn't care. I still don't. I think I made the right choice and no matter how many times I could go back, staying and taking you with me is something I would always do. I don't regret it. Not when I'm laying here with you like we are now. This moment, right here, right now is the first time in seven years, or I guess nearly eight now, that I have felt anything even close to contentment and I wouldn't change that for anything."

"Hmmn," he grunted. "Thank you. I know I said some awful things to you since you got me out of there. I did not mean them."

She looked at him in wonder.

"You were right and I stubbornly fought you tooth and nail like an ungrateful asshole."

They were both silent for a long time before she spoke again. "I'm sorry I can't give you anything more of me right now. There are certain things that happened. It's not that I don't want to be with you. I do, but I'm not there yet right now-"

"That is fine," he interrupted. "That I can understand; and if it takes another ten years for you to want me that way again as a result, then I will wait. As long as I know what it is that is bothering you. Bulma, I truthfully thought you had lost all faith in me and that you did not want me anymore because of all that happened. That you saw me so damaged and inept that I could not walk was more damaging to me than you will ever know. That was why I thought you were shutting me out. Now that I know, I can live with that. I can live with just holding you every night for the rest of our days if that is what it takes."

"I know," she said, trying to still the emotions welling up inside her again. "That's why I love you."

"I miss my mate. I need to do something to get her back," he added quietly, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you," he said softly.

"I know," she whispered. "I love you,"

He settled them both in so they were more comfortable.

"I sure hope I gave your past self enough to work with so they were able to have another outcome." she said after a moment, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

"I am sure you did."

She snuggled herself closer into his side, just needing to be close to him and have him hold her was good enough for her at the moment. Things were alright and they were on the right track towards making things perfect between them again.

Bulma knew that she hadn't out right told him what had happened and had still danced around it. She knew eventually she would have to go down that road, but he had been smart enough to figure it out on his own that something traumatic had occurred. At the moment she was happy that he somewhat understood what was wrong and he was alright knowing that she just needed time to get herself together.

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Thanks for reading! I don't know when I will be updating next, but I can promise it won't be 8 or 9 months!