XLVIII

Peeta couldn't help but smile as he walked back to his home. The Bakery was coming along beautifully and would be ready to open in just a few short weeks. He glanced at Haymitch's house, hearing the honking of geese and his furious yells coming from the back of the house. Chuckling, he continued on his way and stopped in front of Katniss's house. It looked lonely and forboding. Shaking his head, he pushed his door open and froze in his tracks.

Her game bag and bow were set beside the door. A small puddle of blood made his heart flip and he followed the specks of blood up the stairs to their bedroom. By the time he had entered their room, he had stopped breathing.

"Katniss? Katniss, where are you?" He spun around on his heels, feeling the ongoing train of negative thoughts about to crush him.

"No," he said through clenched teeth, reaching out to grip the dresser. "No, stay. Stay with her. Don't…it's not real." His knuckles were white but he felt himself relax and he opened his eyes again.

"Peeta?" He whirled around, his eyes wide as they focused on his wife. Without a word he crossed the room and enveloped her in his embrace.

"I'm ok," she said into his shoulder.

"What happened to you? Are you hurt?"

"No Peeta, I'm fine-"

"What is all the blood? Did you go hunting? Katniss you know it's too soon-"

"Peeta, stop it. I said I'm fine. Yes I went hunting but I didn't hurt myself. I just noticed that I was bleeding…um, down there, and asked Haymitch to watch Willow a while longer so I could call Dr. Verrity. She said it was nothing to worry about. It's normal to bleed after a birth. Especially a complicated birth," she said thickly, quickly clearing her throat to let him know she didn't want to discuss the subject further.

"So you're alright?"

"I told you I was," she said with a smile and her hand went to his cheek. He took it and kissed it and leaned down to kiss her. His hands went to her wet hair and she placed both hands on his chest to gently push him away.

"Why don't you go get Willow and I'll start on dinner?"

"You sure you don't want to rest? The doctor said you would need-"

"Peeta," she said patiently. "I'm fine. I promise. I don't need to rest. But I am quite hungry so I'll go start on dinner." She kissed his cheek and went downstairs. Peeta followed her, watching her as she unloaded her game bag and started to clean her kill.

"Katniss…the blood." She looked up, frowning, then her eyes went to the little spots on the floor.

"Oh damn, I didn't even notice that. I'll clean it up." He nodded and bit his lip, knowing he should have offered to help her. For some reason, the sight of blood was making him ill and he felt like he was the pregnant one now. Crossing the yard to his neighbor's, he frowned when he saw Haymitch on the porch, surrounded by the geese and holding Willow in his arms.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Little mockingjay wants to play with the geese. Here, take her." Peeta took his daughter and chuckled when her tiny fingers brushed his chin.

"Katniss is making dinner. Do you want to join us?"

"Love to but I plan on being piss-drunk by then." Peeta rolled his eyes.

"When are you going to stop that, Haymitch? C'mon. You have a perfect baby girl who wants to spend time with her Uncle Haymitch. You have to be sober for that."

"You deal with shit your way, I'll deal with it mine," Haymitch said dismissively, grabbing the food bag for the geese and started to throw it all over the yard. Peeta sighed and held Willow to his chest as he walked back home.

When he entered, the delicious smell of meat hit him and he smacked his lips.

"It smells amazing, sweetheart. Want a hand?"

"You can make a salad if you like. Are we just keeping her bassinet down here so we can cook?"

"Works for me," he said, setting Willow down. "Although I suppose eventually we'll have to get used to putting her in a different room."

"I won't be ready for that any time soon," she said, shooting her daughter a loving glance. "Perhaps when she's five or six we can." Peeta laughed and wrapped his arms around her from behind, leaning in to kiss her neck.

"Control yourself, Peeta. I have to finish making dinner."

"Only thing I'm hungry for is you," he said in a low growl. But she shook her head and pulled away, stepping around him to continue cooking. Ignoring his growing desire, he pulled out the ingredients and set to making a salad.

When they finished, Peeta set out the dishes and Katniss scooped up the casserole onto a plate. Peeta grabbed a loaf of bread and broke it apart for them to share. He hadn't baked anything in awhile and knew he should get back to it.

"The Bakery?" she asked after a few moments of silence while they ate.

"Almost ready. I put in for the shipments today. Ovens should be delivered this weekend and I need to go shopping for baking supplies. Thom's wife was asking me about menus. I'm not too sure about what I'll be selling so I told her I have to wait. It's coming together. I'm scared but really excited. I think Dad would be proud."

"I'm sure he would," she said softly, finding his hand under the table and squeezing it. He squeezed back and rested them on his knee.

"Peeta, I have to…talk to you." He lowered his fork at her serious tone.

"The other night…umm, I want to apologize for…for umm…" he squeezed her hand again and she looked up into his bright eyes.

"It's just me, Katniss." She nodded and took a deep breath.

"I wanted to apologize for being so…domineering with you. If I had known about…" she bit her lip and looked down at the table. Peeta cleared his throat, sensing where she was going with this. She was obviously feeling guilty now that he had told her about the girl taking advantage of him. She wouldn't blame him for having a flashback. It was a miracle, really, that they had any sort of desires at all and she was grateful their past traumas had not ruined their intimate lives. But she had to be careful. They both did, lest they tread dangerous waters.

"I liked it baby," he finally said, making her look up. "It took me by surprise and I didn't know what to think at first but it was…it turned me on to see you like that. You didn't…you didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel like you wouldn't have had that dream if I hadn't…"

"No. I have those nightmares all the time. You didn't do anything. We just have to be honest with each other, that's all. Tell each other what we like and what we don't like. If I ever get too rough with you, you need to tell me."

"I will. And if I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you'll tell me?"

"Of course," he said, nodding. "Katniss, I…we have a lot to learn about each other still. I may know you better than you know yourself but that doesn't mean I'm a mind reader. We just have to talk. Even if we're embarrassed, promise me you'll talk to me."

"I promise, Peeta."

"That's all we can do. We have to start depending on each other again. It's like we're in the Games again and two of us can go home. You're my partner, just like you've always been. And we will get each other out. We will protect each other." Katniss was silent as she finished eating; while Peeta cleaned the dishes, Katniss carried Willow to the nursery to feed. Peeta joined her a few moments later and together, they laid their daughter down for bed. Katniss had heard that babies didn't often sleep through the night but she was delighted that Willow seemed to be calmer than most and went right to sleep. Yawning, she walked into their bedroom and quickly changed for bed. Peeta slid in behind her and held her in his arms until they were both dreaming peacefully.


They developed and continued their routine for several weeks. Willow was still sleeping through the night, Katniss was hunting again and was less tired, and Peeta was quickly approaching the opening day of the Bakery. Katniss tried to help him with the preperations but taking care of Willow took up most of her time. Haymitch babysat whenever he could but they insisted that he be sober and those times were pretty few. Katniss had visited with Dr. Verrity and was delighted to hear that she was healing normally and fairly well. The bleeding had stopped and she was no longer sore. The only problem was how much Peeta wanted her again. And Katniss never seemed to be in the mood or have enough energy. Peeta was patient and loving as ever but after several weeks of barely touching his wife, he started to feel the toll of lack of intimacy. Katniss, however, did not notice and Peeta, of course, never mentioned it.

The morning of opening day, Katniss was up early and had already fed Willow. She gently shook Peeta awake and smiled when his hazy blue eyes blinked up at her.

"Come on Sleepyhead. It's time." He groaned and covered his head with a pillow.

"Peeta," she sighed. "The whole district will be there. This is such an important day for you! For the Mellarks."

"That doesn't give me the incentive to get out of bed," he said grumpily. "If anything, it scares me more."

"Come on baby," she whispered, leaning in close. "I'll be by your side the whole time. You'll have both your girls cheering you on." Peeta lowered the pillow from his face and leaned up to kiss her. After a brief kiss on the lips, he took her face in his hands and his passion increased. Katniss tried to back away but he held on.

"Peeta," she said breathlessly. "You need to get ready. We can't…not right now."

"There's still time," he said in a voice laced with desire. His hand moved down to grasp her breast and she gasped. But she backed away and moved off the bed. Peeta watched her move to the closet and he sighed.

"Katniss…is something wrong?" She turned back to him, frowning.

"No, why would something be wrong?"

"You tell me. We haven't…I haven't touched you in weeks. I just wondered if everything was alright."

"I just had a baby, Peeta," she said, her voice rising a little. "Forgive me if I didn't want to jump in the sack with you the day we came home from the hospital."

"I get that but it's almost been a month. I miss you, Katniss. I miss being with you."

"You sleep beside me every night!"

"That's different and you know it. And every morning when I wake up hard, I have to deal with it on my own. I'm not trying to pressure you, I just want to know if everything is ok."

"Everything is fine," she snapped. Peeta raised a brow.

"And that right there tells me everything is not fine."

"Ugh, when did you become a typical man? Why is it all about sex?"

"Typical-are you kidding me? When have I ever been a "typical man"? When have I ever pushed you to do something you don't want to do?" He froze, his eyes wide and Katniss turned to him, looking wary. He reached out and gripped the bedside table, hard, and closed his eyes for moment. When he opened them, they were as blue as ever and Katniss sighed. But Peeta looked angrier that he had almost succumbed to a flashback.

"You know what? Forget I even brought it up." He flung the covers back and once he had pulled on his prosthetic, he stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Katniss sighed and dug through her clothes.


She was dressing Willow in an adorable outfit that Annie had sent her when Peeta stopped in front of the nursery. He sighed and entered, clearing his throat to announce his presence. She didn't turn to look at him as she struggled to put Willow's foot through the hole.

"We'll be ready in a moment. If you need to go ahead and go, we can meet you there."

"I want my wife and daughter by my side every second of today. I can wait as long as you need."

"This would be so much easier if your daughter didn't squirm so much!" Chuckling, Peeta crossed into the room and glanced down at his daughter, who seemed to be having a grand old time giving her mommy so much trouble. He gently lifted her and held her still so Katniss could finish dressing her. He shifted her to his other arm and swept down to Katniss for a kiss.

"Team work," he whispered. She nodded and he kissed her again, relieved that she didn't pull away.

"Alright, I think I'm ready," he said nervously. She took his hand and squeezed it.

"You should be proud of yourself, Peeta. I know I am. And Willow is too. Her daddy is the best baker in Panem."

"Well that's some praise, coming from a baby who's never tasted my baked goods," he said with a wink. Katniss gave him a sheepish smile.

"She had plenty of your cheese buns in the womb." He laughed.

"You probably overdosed on them. Ok, let's get going." Katniss took Willow and Peeta draped his arm around his wife as the little family stepped out into the cold day and headed toward town.

"Wait for me!" They stopped, looking at each other with furrowed brows.

"Was that-?"

"Can't be." They turned and saw a skinny young woman running out of Haymitch's house. Her short brown hair flew in the wind and she pulled her coat tighter around her.

"Jesus it's freezing," she said as she approached them.

"Jo!" Katniss flung her arms around her friend and Johanna smirked.

"Missed me that much, huh brainless? Good to see you too." She turned to Peeta and hugged him, careful not to squish the bundle in his arms.

"And you too bread boy! Wow. And you DID put a bun in her oven. A cute little bun. Good for you, Mellark." Peeta rolled his eyes but smiled. Johanna leaned in to see the child.

"She has your eyes, Peeta. And Katniss's scowl."

"She smiles more than anyone I've ever seen," Katniss laughed.

"It's true," Haymitch said as he approached. "But she's definitely got both her parents in her. How you doing this morning, kid?" He turned to Peeta, who shrugged.

"Guess I'm pretty fantastic. I have the best support system any guy could ask for. Can't really complain."

"So when did you get here, Johanna?"

"Last night. I stayed with Haymitch cause I wanted it to be a surprise. But we slept in this morning and I just heard you lovebirds chatting. Are we walking to town? It's fucking cold!"

"Hey, little ears," Peeta said with a frown. Johanna threw her head back and laughed.

"He's even more of a golden boy now that he's a father."

"She hears worse from me, trust me," Haymitch said with a grin.

"That doesn't make me want to keep dropping her off at your house."

"Oh lighten up, Peeta! Jesus Katniss, didn't you give him anything for his anxiety this morning?"

"I don't take pills."

"That's not what I was referring to," Johanna said with a wink and a gleam in her eye. Katniss groaned.

"Come on. We're going to be late."

"You three go ahead. I'll drive Johanna in your wagon." Peeta nodded and put an arm around Katniss, shielding her from the cold. They put Willow between them to keep her warm and continued their walk toward town.

"Sorry about Johanna," Peeta muttered.

"Why? She's always been like that. Blurts anything that comes to her mind."

"Yeah but…she made you uncomfortable."

"Again, she's always done that. I'll always remember when she stripped down in the elevator at the Training Center." Peeta couldn't help but laugh.

"Your face though. But you were so angry with me afterwards. As if I had actually looked at her."

"You had a beautiful, naked woman right in front of you! What was I supposed to think?" He shrugged.

"Not the beautiful naked woman I wanted. You're the only woman I've ever had eyes for. You know that."

"I do. Now."

"So what's changed?" She glanced up at him to see him watching her carefully. Her eyes fell back down.

"Nothing's changed, Peeta."

"But-"

"Peeta, I promise we will talk about this. But not today. I don't want you thinking of anything else but the Bakery." He let out a deep sigh.

"You know that's not possible for me, Katniss."

"Try."