We left the concert early that night. I told Haruhi I had a headache and needed some fresh air and she was unusually quick to grant me pardon. After passing around the crowd in the most round-about way possible to avoid crossing Mio's path I made it outside, but by then my legs gave out and I sank into the wall of the live house and fell down. Haruhi caught me midway to the cold hard ground and lifted me back up with seemingly little effort. Well she is a tough one, that's for sure.
"Are you alright? I guess that was a bit sudden huh?"
So you had this planned from the start?
Haruhi chuckled and leaned against the wall as she glanced up at the moon. "I know you've been trying really hard for this concert. But you're always rambling about how you aren't good enough and that you aren't ready. I figured I'd prove you wrong to cheer you up a little!"
You mean you contacted ENOZ and set this whole thing up just to boost my confidence? That's...A little over the top don't you think?
"You know most people would say thank you in these situations."
I'm not one of those people.
"I know...That's why you're a member of the SOS Brigade! If you were a regular boring human like everyone else then there would be no point having you around!"
You know just because you say something like that with a smile doesn't make it a nice thing to say. And don't phrase it so weird! You make me sound like an alien!
She laughed at that and smiled broadly, "If you really were it would explain a lot!"
Before I could even attempt a retort she burst out laughing and inevitably it became infectious enough to draw me into her whirlwind of mirth. I suppose not laughing for so long left me long over-due to just let it all out and so we just kept on laughing like utter fools, surely looking like drunks to passing strangers.
No longer bothered with the concert inside we left for the station and got a head-start home. Seeing Haruhi in such a bright mood cleared up much of my fears about this time travelling experiment, but all the same it hurt having to avoid Mio like that. Can I really keep this up? Looking at Haruhi now I doubt anything could dampen her spirits. Surely it's safe now?
How am I supposed to know if any of this has even worked or not anyway? Will I get a certificate from the future congratulating me on a job well done? A medal? I'd like a medal. After all the back-breaking labour I've done for the sake of the future I think I deserve one by now.
Wednesday passed in a blur. So fast in fact that I'd almost forgotten I'd lived through it. In the other timeline I would have woken up at Ritsu's house and gone to Sakuragaoka High. Then I would have gone to the police station. Thankfully in this series of events there were no strikes to my name, no criminal records or soul crushing embarrassment. Instead I simply coasted through lessons and had a short rehearsal in the rock club room after school. I'm sure it's much less of an interesting narrative, but I'm not here to impress, I just want to stay alive and healthy. Is that too much to ask?
Anyway without being stuck at the police station and without experiencing any difficulties at the concert the previous night either Haruhi didn't run away and as night fell I stayed home, my head throbbing just from the memory of that night I'd have otherwise spent drinking at Haruhi's house.
I suppose this way has its good points. In fact it has a lot of them. Nothing has really gone wrong and everybody is still happy as far as I can tell. Koizumi hadn't mentioned any rise in Closed Space, Asahina the elder hadn't appeared and Nagato hadn't shown any signs of doubt either. All green lights in my book.
And yet I still feel lacking.
It doesn't matter that the world is safe in this time plane. Something bigger than that is weighing on my mind. Mio Akiyama. The more I'm told to avoid her and forget the more I find myself aching to see her again. That fragile figure huddled in the cupboard, shaking like a frost-bitten kitten...I want to protect her from all this madness of time travel and closed space and aliens and whatever, but not like this! A shield is useless if it's not at your side.
I can't just forget about Mio with a click of my fingers. Not after all we've been through. I don't want to forget any of it either! And neither do I want to deny ever having met her friends. Sure Ritsu is annoying, Yui is a fool, Mugi is slightly off and Azusa is always worrying over nothing, but in the week I'd spent around them I can honestly say I didn't mind being their friend. I mean even with all their faults, they couldn't be any weirder than my friends in the SOS Brigade...
I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I don't want to lose any of them either. If I can't ever see them again that's about as good as getting killed or disappearing isn't it?
Such thoughts wormed through my skull all day and night leading to an ungraceful Thursday morning. Looking worse for wear than I surely had when I escaped closed space it seemed lack of sleep was equally as painful as battling big blue giants. Never had I wanted to catch up on sleep so badly, but today would be the final rehearsal day before heading to Tokyo for take two of our little band escapade. With a begrudging sigh I trudged off to school lugging my bass, happy to soon be done with having to carry it around ever again.
Once again class went nowhere. Well at least it didn't for me. I'm sure other people were paying attention but I was preoccupied battling to keep my eyes open all day. I was on the verge of failing said task when a well-aimed dagger point (read as 'mechanical pencil') stabbed directly into my spine. On reflex alone I jumped in my seat, causing a whole lot of eyes to fall on me at once. I couldn't avoid the embarrassment and with a nervous cough tried ever so hard to pretend nothing had happened, ignoring the muffled giggling and murmurs of my peers. When the lunch bell tolled I spun to face Haruhi with a glare only to be met with a devilish grin.
"Wakey wakey!" she sneered.
Damn you! Couldn't you have found a less painful way to wake me up?
"Be thankful I helped at all. I was obligated to lend my aid to a fellow Brigade member. I don't deal out favours to just any random person you know!"
A lot of our past activities say otherwise, but I know arguing with Haruhi is as futile as arguing with the sea. It doesn't care what you have to say and regardless it will always be louder than you.
"Don't nod off yet Kyon, we've got practise this afternoon! Tsuruya is letting us use her family's home studio for rehearsals!"
I feigned surprise, but even if I hadn't already known, I don't think I can get surprised by the extent of the Tsuruya family's possessions any more. It stands to reason that they have anything and everything for every conceivable occasion.
And so we headed to the mansion straight after school. Unfortunately I still had to foot the bill of the taxi fare, though out of consideration Koizumi and Miss Asahina contributed a little to take the load off of me. Nagato, whom I've never seen with money didn't pay up and Haruhi simply stated that since she organised our session she was somehow exempt from having to split the fare.
Tsuruya was her usual insane self and excitedly led us to the storage space where all manner of musical instruments and equipment were just waiting to be used. She sat in on our rehearsals, working up a one-man frenzy of screams and shouts and cheers. Somehow all by herself she managed to simulate an audience a hundred strong; such was the volume of her voice.
The rehearsal itself went remarkably well. With more practice than last time I was able to keep in pace with the others and avoid any spectacular failures. Even Koizumi seemed to be perfectly capable despite having the least practise out of all of us. If we were passably prepared in the previous timeline then we were more than ready this time.
But alongside my pride came the nagging fear of competition against Houkago Tea-Time. Those anxieties over the possibility of sabotage returned in full force and once again my mind drifted to Mio as opposed to the task at hand.
"Kyon! Stop spacing out! We were doing so well!"
"Huh? Oh right, sorry. I was just tired. Should we take a break?"
With a groan Haruhi folded her arms and frowned. "I guess so. We don't want to wear ourselves out before we even get on stage! Mikuru, go make us some tea!"
Without question the little drummer girl hopped up from her kit and bounded out of the room as if she were a servant of the mansion. Tsuruya laughed at her eagerness and sent one of the actual maids to show her to the kitchens. Haruhi wandered off and Koizumi went about performing some kind of maintenance on the keyboard he was using. With Nagato quietly working on her solos Tsuruya took note of my boredom and skipped up beside me.
"Heya Kyon, you're pretty good huh?"
"I suppose I just barely scrape into the category of good."
"Oh don't be so hard on yourself; I thought you guys were great! Promise me I'll get VIP tickets when you guys are famous nyoron?"
Don't get ahead of yourself; it'll give Haruhi bad ideas.
"Ha ha ha, just kidding! But I think it's good what you're doing. Harunyan seems to have mellowed out a bit over the last few days."
What? What does that mean?
"Well, she had been really nervous about something a short while back but ever since you've gotten serious about this band-fest thingy she's like really loosened up! She looks totally happy to me!"
So she's in a rare good mood huh? I dare say I deserve a pat on the back for this.
"Now who's getting ahead of themselves?" Tsuruya laughed so loud I swear it perforated my ear-drum but a couple of seconds after she stopped and the ringing ceased the pain went away. With a broad smile Tsuruya leaned in close and whispered, "I can tell you're really good for Harunyan, so I can count on you to keep her in check ok? When it comes time to reel her in make sure you'll be there, understood?"
…
No...
Seemingly satisfied with my answer she leaned back and winked before prancing along to find Asahina. For a while I just stared into blank space taking in all that had just happened and somewhere between marvelling at the various little cracks and dents in my bass and the others returning with tea, I made my choice.
The first step through the door to the hotel was a daunting one. For a long tense moment my foot hovered over the threshold, refusing to touch down inside the building which had only a week earlier almost proved to be my grave. Nagato cast a sidelong glance, saying nothing, but her complete and utter silence somehow had a calming effect.
"Nervous?" Koizumi asked with a casual smile that I could only take to be mocking. With a snarl I passed him by and joined Haruhi at the reception desk. As expected I had to lug her bags up the stairs like a slave and collapsed on the large bed once finally at my room.
Asahina sat on the corner and stared off into space, lost in thought.
"Say, Asahina-"
"Ah?!"
Boy is that familiar...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"W-wh-wha...?"
"Hey, have you heard anything from your superiors lately?"
Asahina turned beet red as she stared back at me. "What? Why? Is something wrong?"
"No, no, it's just...It's been a while hasn't it?" A bare-faced lie if I ever heard one.
She bowed her head and smiled, almost forlorn. "Hmm, it has."
"So everything must be ok then, right? No foreseeable disasters to avoid or anything?"
All of a sudden she looked troubled. She met my gaze but broke contact rather quickly; unable to look me in the eye as she softly shook her head. Her response wasn't too promising, but I couldn't care less anymore. I had long since made up my mind. No matter what the future has in store, I won't have any regrets.
I forced some light conversation out of Miss Asahina and when Haruhi called us out for dinner I politely refused complaining of a sore back from lifting her bags up the stairs. Despite the barest trace of guilt in her eyes Haruhi still scolded me for being weak and ordered me to rest easy for the rest of the night. With a nod I settled into the mattress and waited until I was sure they had all gone downstairs to the restaurant.
I listened through the walls for a time, staring blankly at the wall. After a while I finally heard the padding of footsteps outside and faint voices. They were all familiar to me and with a bitter smile I listened to their muffled chatter and laughter. They sounded so happy and cheerful, as if my absence played no part in their lives, as if my chance encounters with each of them truly meant nothing. However I know for a fact that one of them felt differently...
To one of them, my existence mattered.
To one of them, I was an irreplaceable part of their world.
And, I guess she was an irreplaceable part of my world too...
That's it!
I know I've come this far following Asahina the Elder's plan, but now I think it's time to follow my own path.
My future is mine and mine alone and I'll be the one to choose it!
From here on out, I'm going solo
