Chapter 42.
Bachelorette Party
(Sam's POV)
-Four Days Later: November 4, 2011-
"No."
"Come on."
"No."
"Please?"
"No, Sam. I will not have any male strippers at your bachelorette party and that's final!"
"Carly, you're so prude."
Carly's throwing me a bachelorette party at her apartment while Spencer throws Freddie a bachelor party at the Benson's while Marissa was working. But usually when Carly throws any sort of party, it's left PG-13.
"I may be prude, but I'm still not having male strippers here. Besides, Spencer would throw a fit if he knew what was going here while he was at Freddie's."
"Ugh, fine. So what are we supposed to do for a bachelorette party, anyways?" I asked.
"I don't know. I've never been married or been to a bachelorette party."
"True. What's a bachelorette party?" I asked.
"I guess it's supposed to celebrate the last night of being single before getting married."
"So, we're supposed to get into a lot of trouble?"
"No! No trouble."
"Carly, this isn't a birthday party for a twelve year old. We gotta have some real fun."
Carly put the punch bowl onto the counter next to the computer.
"Fine. But nothing that will get us arrested." Carly said.
"Ugh... fine. No prison." I said.
"So, what are you supposed to do at a bachelorette party?" Wendy asked. Carly invited almost every girl in our grade to my bachelorette party.
"I'm not sure." Carly said. "I've never had one or been to one."
"Neither have I."
"I suggest we-"
"No, Sam, we're not going to go rob a convenient store." Carly said.
"And you call this a party." I muttered as I walked over to the island to grab some pizza.
"How about we do some phone pranks?" Wendy's friend, Kayla, asked.
"Now that's something I'd like to do." I said with a mouth full of pizza.
"I don't know, guys." Carly said.
"Stop being such a party-pooper, Carly, and have some fun." I said. "Besides, we'll call on my phone and I'll block the number. They won't even know it's us."
"Alright."
"Woo! Someone grab a phone book." I ordered.
"Hello, is this Mr. Orben?" I asked in a manly voice. Some of the girls behind me tried to contain themselves from giggling into the phone.
"Yes, may I ask who is calling?" The man asked in the other line.
"Yes, this is Mr. William Post and you just won the lottery!"
"Oh my goodness, did I really?"
"Yes!"
"Wait... I didn't enter any lottery."
"Uh, your friend entered you!"
"Well, okay! What's my prize?"
"One dollar!"
"One dollar! Wait... what?"
"Yes, you sir just won one dollar!"
"A dollar? Really?"
"Yes, sir."
"What can I get with a lousy dollar?"
"A candy bar."
"Who is this? Is this a prank?"
"No, sir. We're outside your house right now."
"Y-you're outside my house?"
"No. This is a prank call. Have a nice day, loser."
I hung up my phone and we all burst into laughter.
"Okay, that was so funny!" Wendy said, through her chuckles. "Let's do another one."
"Okay, let's call Emily and Thomas Bay." I said, trying to control my laughter. I dialed in the number into my phone and put it on speaker.
"Hello?" A woman voice came on the other line.
"Hi, is this Emily Bay?" I asked in a preppy school-girl voice.
"Um, yes. Who's calling?"
"Yes, this is Tiffanie. And your husband, Thomas, keeps stalking me. Can you please tell him to stop or I'm calling the police." I heard Carly muffle a laugh through her hand.
"Excuse me?"
"Did I stutter? Tell your husband to stop stalking me or I'm calling the police."
"My husband isn't stalking anyone."
"As far as you know."
"Seriously, don't call here again." She hung up the phone one.
"Oh no she did not!" I yelled. I pressed re-dial and called the Emily chick again.
"Hello?"
"Listen, skunkbag, I'm not taking this chiz anymore. Your husband keeps stalking my house, my work, and keeps calling me restricted. This is getting to be ridiculous. Ever since that one-night stand, your husband is like, obsessed with me. It's freaking me out."
"Listen you little floozy, my husband didn't sleep with you and he isn't stalking anyone."
"Yes he is. He's driving passed my house right now!"
"My husband is in the living room as we speak." I covered the receiver on my phone.
"Oh, chiz!" I whispered. The girls tried their best to stop their laughter. I let go of the receiver.
"I don't care. Tell him to stop stalking me." I said.
"He doesn't want you!"
"That's funny because that's what he said to me that night. Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant by him, too."
"Oh, really. Well, if you really had a night with him, what does he look like?"
I looked over to Carly. She mouthed 'Make something up'.
"Uh, he has chocolate brown eyes that sparkle in the light. And... he has short brown hair that's as soft as cotton candy."
"That jerk!" I heard the phone slam onto something like a table and heard her yelling in the background. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!"
I quickly hung up the phone and we all let out our laughter we've been trying to hold in.
"It hurts, it hurts." Kayla muttered in her laughs. She held onto her side.
"Dude, she's such a moron!"
"Guys, do you just realize that we basically ruined a marriage?" Carly asked. We all stopped laughing, only to start laughing again thirty seconds later.
"We're so heartless." I laughed. "Okay, let's do something else. I'm running out of pranks."
"Like what?" Wendy asked.
"Hmm... Carly you still have that egging list from a few days ago?"
"Yes, why?"
"We're bad people." Carly muttered. "I can't believe I let you guys talk me into this."
We just got done egging out last apartment door on the list.
"No, we're just having fun. Chilax, Carls. I guarantee the boys are having way more fun than we are." I said.
"Doubt it. They're probably watching all the Galaxy War movies that Freddie owns." Carly said.
"Oh yeah. It's the dorks we're talking about." I said. "But still. We're not going to get in trouble."
"There you are!" I heard a voice say from behind us. I actually feared it was a resident that we egged or the police. I didn't want to get arrested the night before my wedding. I turned around and was actually surprised by who I saw.
"Mom?" Yep, it was my mom.
"I know who I am."
"Whatever. What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Carly invited me over. Something about a party."
"You invited my mother?" I turned to Carly.
"Well, I figured she might know what to do at a bachelorette party but she never returned my calls, so I figured she wouldn't show up." Carly explained.
"Okay. Well, now what?" I asked.
"We're baaad people." Carly muttered as we ran down the road and into an alley. My mom took us to her most recent ex-boyfriend's house to TP and egg it.
"No, we're revengeful people." My mom said. I gave her a high five.
"True that." I said. "Man, I'm so glad Freddie chose to watch Morgan while I have my bachelorette party."
Carly shook her head. "That guy we TPed and egged is so calling the cops on us."
"Oh, come on, Carly. At least we ran fast enough for him not to be able to catch us."
"Yeah, because you kicked him in the shin." Carly said.
"But still."
We caught our breath, walked to the groovy smoothie to get some smoothies, and walked back to Carly's apartment. Almost all of the girls had to go home. It was just Carly, my mom, Wendy, and I.
"That was the most fun I've had in a long time." Wendy said as we entered the Shay's apartment.
"Totally. Much more fun than chucking golf balls at the soccer team." I said.
"Well, I better get going. I'll see you at the wedding tomorrow." Wendy said as she left the apartment.
"'Kay. See ya, Wendy." I said. "Hey, thanks for coming mom." I said as I turned to my mom.
"No prob, kid. Anything to celebrate my daughter getting married."
"It's so weird." Carly said.
"What?" I asked.
"That you're getting married tomorrow. Did you ever think that you would be getting married at seventeen?"
"Of course not." I said. "I guess it is kinda weird."
"Well, I gotta get home, kids. I got a date waiting for me." My mom said.
"See ya, mom. And make sure you don't show up drunk."
"No promises." My mom closed the door behind her as she left.
"She's gonna show up drunk." I said to Carly.
"Hey, maybe she'll surprise you and not show up drunk."
"When has my mom ever surprised me in a positive way?" I asked.
"She allowed you and Freddie to get married." Carly said. "That surprised you."
"Touche."
"Just go upstairs, take a bath, and get some sleep. You can sleep in my bed tonight since you and Freddie can't sleep together."
"Why not?" I asked.
"It's bad luck. Now upstairs! You have to wake up bright and early tomorrow."
"Ugh, alright. Call Freddie and have him drop off Morgan over here for the night while I take a bath."
"Will do. Night Puckett."
"Wow, it's the last night you can actually call me Puckett." I said.
"I know."
A/N: Would you like for me to continue posting the date like I did for this chapter or just doing for the wedding chapters?
Oh, by the way, me and my best friends actually made a prank where we told the guy that he won a dollar from the lottery and my aunt did a prank where she got some guy's wife to believe he was cheating on her. We're horrible people, okay? lmao Okay, well I'm not. But I have bad influences. I'm the adult in the group lol For the record, I made up these names. I didn't use anyone that I know.
I'm going to keep this Author's Note short since I had A LOT of reviews for the last chapter (:
xRubyBlue- Hahaha, yeah it might have been a little obvious but that's okay (: Well, I can't say there won't be any fighting because of this 'drama issue'. But you can be guaranteed a happy ending (: And the "I hate you" part would be pretty good (:
SilverShadow26- No, it's not too cheesy. I like them. Thank you for these suggestions (:
Luv4AriG- Thank you for the suggestions for the vows and for the wedding (: They are very cute.
Zetay121- Thank you (:
SamanthaNicoleT- Right? I'm like "Uh, seriously Sam? You're gonna do that right infront of your exboyfriend who you're not even acknowledging the fact that you guys just broke up like a few days ago?"
Anonymous- You'll have to wait and see (:
Shanny997- My favorite holiday too (: Yeah, I like names that start with M. I wanna name one of my future daughters Mya, you know, after I name one Jennette, of course XD Yeah, the ending made me pretty chizzed off.
Zephyr Kay- Thank you (: And I know. That made me so mad, but I saw that happening. It was too obvious. And thank you for the suggestion (:
LyshaLuvsSeddie- I want that fork! I agree about the main plot. I laughed so hard when T-Bo said that! :D Hahahaha, tricky Sam XD Yeah, people are just rotten. Hahaha, I can see Sam saying something like that! Thank you (:
Geekquality- Thank you (: I've never been to a wedding before. I was invited to my best friend's dad's wedding but my mom said I couldn't go ): I rode in a limo to my ex-best friend's birthday party. His mom spoils him and he hates it. Of course they weren't going to get their closure. It's iCarly. They're waiting to use that plot for another episode in the future -_- And thank you for the suggestion (:
Seddie4ever- Thank you (: I feel the same way about iQ. Cute vows (:
PeacePinkSeddie- Yay! Giant fork (:
TheUltimateBookworm- Thank you (:
Shadow- Hahaha, nah. I don't think I could do that. Though I CAN have a random Gibby moment in it (:
Kpfan72491- Thank you (:
xxAngelFromAbove94xx- Aww, Thank you (:
Soldout112- Hahaha, that'd be funny (:
Lisa- Cute vows (:
Untilthemoonrises- Cute vows (:
iCarlyizbest0001- Hahaha, the boobs XD
toffie311- Thank you (: And the vows are cute. Another marriage proposal? Hahaha, that would be pretty random.
Alison- Thank you (: and congradulations on the lead role!
decipher- I believe the same thing. Seddie will prevail!
decipher- Hahaha I love Sam's vows (: And I never seen what he looks like but I'll look him up and see what you mean. lol
Marie93- WOW, that's a lot! :O Very cute though. I definitely want to use some of this.
arreyellewebb- OMG that's perfect XD Definitely using that! If it's okay with you.
ICarlyFics101- Thank you (:
doesnotfit22- Hahaha, funny (: I don't think I can have Melanie burst into flames. XD
Luvable101- I shall! :D
eclare1fan- Thank you (: And are you a mind reader? One of those ideas are actually the main plot of a future chapter. The other idea ends in the opposite way that you say. Which one turns out which way? That's for me to know and for you to find out :D
Tiva. Ncis. Luv- Thank you (:
Elle- Thank you (: and Yay, rhymes! Hahaha. Cute suggestions!
I read ALL the suggestions for the vows and for the wedding! Definitely proud of you guys for the amazing ideas (:
I guess there isn't another new iCarly, even though the promo a few weeks ago said they're gonna have new ones every week. Stupid false advertisement.
Read and Review, pleeease (:
