Riku leaned heavily against a windowsill in the training castle. The sky was splashed with the rich reds, oranges and purples of the twilight. But it was hard to appreciate how beautifully they blended together, or the bold little stars that came out to play as the sun turned away its face. It was all just there. It all existed but it didn't mean anything.

Riku's fist was clenched around two pieces of paper. He'd read through Aiden's last letter at least five times. Part of him was furious at Aiden for not coming to them directly, for saying what he wanted to say via note instead of to their faces. But at the same time, Riku knew he wasn't really angry. Anger is just an easier emotion to deal with and make sense of than grief.

Aiden was gone. And nothing could be done about it. Nothing ever could have been done about it.

Whatever Aiden was, however he'd been created, he hadn't been designed for longevity. In one time stream, Riku had defeated him and he faded away, at peace that his tortured existence was over. Now Riku understood that the fight at the manor gate only sped up the inevitable. Regardless of how that fight ended, Aiden didn't have long anyway. In a way, it made sense…not like that made it any easier. At Castle Oblivion, Vexen was more likely concerned that his experiment was a success, not whether or not it would be a lasting success. Aiden served his purpose for the Organization, beyond that, why would Vexen care what happened to him after their plan succeeded or make sure he would last?

Riku smoothed out the letter on the windowsill. He looked at it but wasn't really reading it. Aiden had suspected what had been happening to him and he never said? He had known his problem wasn't a flu-gone-wrong or a stray curse he'd accidentally come across and hadn't told them. Riku couldn't accept his decision to keep it a secret. Not at that moment anyway.

The 'what ifs' had started a while ago and hadn't stopped since. Could nothing really have ever been done to help him? Possibly. But Riku was hardly at a point where he would accept that as the only truth. If they had only known sooner. If they had only figured it out sooner. How could he and Rachel have missed it? Yeah, hindsight and whatever but still, everything about what had happened seemed an unforgiveable excuse. They should have pressed Aiden harder for what was getting him down. They should have figured it out. They should have known. They should have acted. They should have gone to Master Yen Sid right away instead of worrying about the consequences and hoping the problem would fix itself in the meantime. Maybe he could have put like a stasis spell around Aiden or something to hold off the progressive shut down of his body. He was The Sorcerer, there had to be something in that vast knowledge box that could have helped. But they didn't act on it quick enough.

Riku wasn't sure what to do or what to think now that there was nothing left. Aiden was gone and he couldn't help but feel partly responsible. The guilt left a feeling in his stomach like a sea lamprey had latched on with its many discs of teeth and raked and rasped at him with its toothed tongue, goring and shredding deeper as it went. And when you feel, even a little like you actually deserve it, it's hard to make that feeling go away.

Could have. Couldn't. Should have. Hadn't.

Round and around they went on a fast spinning carousel of guilt and grief. Time heals. Riku knew that well. But the process wasn't easy or enjoyable, no matter how much you learned or became a stronger person for it.

The next part would be the hardest; dealing with the loss. Riku knew that no matter how hard he tried to feign happy face, someone was going to sense the ache in his heart. And he couldn't just say that nothing was bothering him. There was no way he could get himself to believe that lie. If he couldn't, certainly no one else would. And it was physically painful to think about what this was doing to Rachel too. Riku couldn't turn his mind off to sort out his own feelings and take care of his emotional upheaval for himself first without it rounding back to how Rachel was feeling. She and Aiden got on so well. How many times would Riku come back to the castle and find her crying because she'd absentmindedly asked Aiden to hand her something and only silence answered?

And he couldn't tell anyone either. He couldn't tell his closest friends what had happened. There would still be inevitable lecture if Master Yen Sid knew what they'd done. Sora couldn't remember anything from Castle Oblivion. Yes, he would stand by a hurting friend, but if told all the details, how good would he be at hiding that he was keeping a very big secret?

Rachel and Riku agreed to act as if nothing happened for as long as they could manage. If suspected, they'd say they'd had their first big fight as a couple and it was uncomfortable going through it and they didn't want to talk about it to anyone else. Neither of them liked washing down a lie with a fib but it seemed the least likely scenario that anyone would pry into if they made it clear they wanted to work it out themselves. If they were apart, no one would question the need for distance until the smoke cleared. If Riku went to the training castle, it would appear he was trying to set things right. But that wasn't without its problems either. If they were forced to go with the 'we had a fight' story, distance would make sense. But that would leave Rachel in the castle alone during a time when you really needed a shoulder nearby in case you needed to cry on it. It made Riku sick inside to think he might have to do that to her if it came to that. Speaking of…

Riku looked over his shoulder. Rachel was curled up tight around Tatania. Jewel and Fantasia were also near. Fantasia stood behind the couch, occasionally nudging the side of Rachel's head gently when she thought her mistress needed it. Jewel floated not far away making sympathetic squeaks. Her plume was as limp as wet paper and her flippers had been droopy for hours. Little Eli anxiously paced across the couch and over Rachel's feet. He could sense something was wrong but couldn't understand what. He tugged at her clothes, hoping she would snuggle him and smile.

Riku hated to see her like that. She just sat quietly, staring down at nothing. But Riku wasn't fooled. That shimmer in her eye wasn't just the gleam of a bright heart and great personality. Riku took a moment to compose himself then sat by her side on the couch. At first Rachel did nothing; until he raised his arm a little to put it around her shoulder then she dropped Tatania on the couch and curled up into him. He could feel how much she needed him for comfort. And, at that moment it really sunk in how much he needed her too.

For quite some time they sat in silence. Periodically the sniffles and the waterworks got the better of them. Tatania curled up as close to Rachel as she could without getting sat on. For a creature with a self-serving streak, the tower cat knew this was a time to put her queenness second. Elias didn't understand the gloom. He didn't like it. Despite being young, animal instincts and his connection to Rachel let him know something was wrong. But he couldn't understand what had happened, what was happening or what it all meant. He wanted his girl to stop being sad. He wanted the boy to stop being sad. Where was that other person who was so fun to nibble on? Maybe he could make them stop being sad.

Riku could feel Rachel trembling slightly at his side.

"I think we should read his journals together." Riku said eventually.

"I don't know if I can," She answered quietly.

"I'm not saying it will be easy. Think…think of it this way, think of it like your magic book. Aiden will always be the main character of his own story. Characters never really die in their stories. Even if you know how the story ends, all you have to do is read it again and they'll be just as alive as the first time you read it."

Rachel chuckled quietly for a moment. But it didn't last long.

"That sounds like something I might say," She eventually said.

"Darn it. You're rubbing off more than I realized."

That made her smile again, even if for just a second and that was good enough. Silence passed over them again. What was there to say? They were both sad. They had just lost a secret friend. They both wrestled with the guilt of what they should have been doing. Then,

"I guess…I guess I am happy that I was able to hear his new Heart Song." Rachel said quietly. "I think…I don't know…I don't think…" Her voice quivered. She had to take a second before continuing. "If I never knew how his heart had changed, I don't think I could live that down."

Somehow Aiden was able to make his Heart Song stay behind long enough for them to hear it; long enough for them to know just how much he had changed and was at peace with his being. Riku agreed completely. They'd heard the song about submitting and accepting the emptiness. A song that spoke of secretly knowing that the heart would always be alone in darkness. But then it became so much brighter, so much better. Learn to be Lonely to The Melody Within. An empty lonely heart to a heart that found a way to break through the cold shell and know love. It was a great comfort to have known how the song changed. They tried not to think about how they'd feel if they were left forever wondering whatever happened to Aiden's song and if it was different, or better than the one they knew. Aiden did give them that last gift. Hopefully he knew just how special it was.

Riku looked down, once again at the last page of the note.

So long, Real Thing! Hope you don't miss me!

His last chance to take a crack at Riku and that's what he decided to go with. That was what Aiden said the first time they parted. Then, it was a cocky taunt. Riku had won their first fight but Aiden still managed to strike him back. Riku hadn't been so blind to not have noticed when they first brought Aiden to the castle that he avoided calling him by name if he could. Now, it was more a term of endearment. It was…a reminder.

In fact, Riku wondered if there was something symbolic about his farewell being last. The first and last parting had been sealed with the same words. The beginning was so different from the ending. In fact, Riku hadn't thought much about his first meeting in Castle Oblivion in a long time. But that encounter came back like it had happened moments before. But that was fine. Two clear memories came to mind. One of, then, the Replica and now Aiden. The taunts and declarations of how Riku was a coward for distancing himself from the Darkness. Then thoughts of being called 'Goose' as a result of something Rachel said or promises of violence at being teased.

Riku smiled. He couldn't help it. His heart was still sore at the loss and would be for a while but, looking back, there was so much to feel good about. Riku remembered just how hard he laughed when Aiden's spell went awry and his voice sounded like a clown horn. Aiden laughed just as hard when Rachel had given Riku pink highlights by accident. He remembered his amusement when he found Aiden stuck and suspended by magic and assistance only made it worse. The situation would've been funny enough on its own, but it was largely how Aiden's pride and humiliation manifested through the whole encounter that made it really fun to watch. Then there was the whole fiasco with Aiden as a hamster. So cute and fluffy, and he bit him.

The plans the trio had were sure to haunt Rachel and Riku for a while. Rachel had a whole list of places she'd hoped to sneak him into so Aiden could experience the wonders and beauty of other worlds. Riku hadn't had a chance to suggest his idea about sending Aiden to Pixie Hollow. But, all things considered, those plans were not necessary to making Aiden's life fun and complete. Back then he had nothing, no hopes, dreams, prospects or a future. They say that something is better than nothing. So true was this. He'd heard fantastic first-hand stories of exciting adventures and incredible places and people. He'd wandered the streets of Arendelle no differently than if he really did belong there.

Those were the thoughts that would get them both through this. Even though it would be hard, Riku knew keeping those memories close, talking about and cherishing them would push the guilt and I-should-haves away. Blaming themselves wouldn't do anything for anyone. Aiden already gave his blessing that freed them from that guilt. He suspected what was happening to him, accepted it and made the decision to keep it to himself. Even then, there was a brighter side.

Aiden died in a castle of magic and comfort. Not a castle of secrets and twisted plots. He died in a room and a bed that had been luxurious and all his own. Not on the ground outside a ruin. He died knowing laughter and kindness. Not lost and confused, surrounded by lies and manipulative souls. And most importantly, Aiden died knowing he had people who cared about him and would miss him when he was gone; not, knowing in the back of his mind that he had no friends and no one would care whether or not he was alive and well in the world.

Two friends were a lot better than no friends. Sometimes people don't even get that. Two friends were plenty. Everything Riku remembered about his encounters with Aiden at Castle Oblivion were completely backwards now. No longer had he been alone, scared, desperate for a sense of identity, purpose or belonging. He had no longer been friendless and empty, nervous about if his heart was real enough to go somewhere special.

The story did not have the happy ending they had hoped for. But, the purpose had been served. They had succeeded in doing exactly what they had set out to do. Their hearts would heal and Aiden's was at peace. A life of emptiness had faded into a memory of no importance. A much better life replaced it. That was good. Riku felt that he had done a good thing and was so grateful for Rachel's help in making sure that it all happened. And they had made a life so much better for it. They had done their best. They had been great and compassionate friends.

There was certainly a lot to think about. The good gave him solace. Riku held Rachel close to him, closed his eyes and smiled. A tragic story had been re-written with a much happier ending…because there is no one who doesn't deserve to get a second chance.


End of Act V of Bound By Light: Second Chances

The Bound By Light saga will continue in

Act VI

Bound By Light: The Final Battle