(When I say Link in this chapter, it'll most likely be GUY Link, not teh girl)

AAAH! I IZ SINGING "Sugar" I LUV THAT SONG!
*dances with Marth, Yuj, and Mr. L*

KISS ME, MARTH!

Lol.

*Marth kisses me*

^w^'

*Mr. L kisses me*

^O^'

I wuv you, too, Yuj!

*Gets kissed by Yuj*

^^'

Okay..

TIME FOR TEH 50th CHAPTER!

Help Wanted

AT CASTLE BLECK...

"Kortez, I've been thinking..." Bleck said.

"NO! I am not moving out! I'm just fifteen!" I replied.

"I thought that you were fourteen!"

"No, I just didn't celebrate my birthday."

"Oh, ANYWAYS... You need to get some money! I'm not paying for your things anymore," he continued.

"I think that Ganon needs an aprintance today! And he'll pay!" Bleck grinned.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'll go." I said.

"Then Link needs help, and Pit does, too."

"RRRGH! LINK IS GAY, AND PIT HUMPS EVERY BOY THAT HE SEES!"

"Just go!"

I got my coat, and flipped out of the door, to wherever the heck Ganon lives.

UH, AT WHEREVER GANON LIVES...

I walked in the almost broken door.

"Uh, hello?"

"Is Ganon here?"

Then, like he came out of nowhere, Ganon appeared.

"Am I right that you're here for the aprintance job?" he asked.

"Yep. I'm being held by my will, but I'm here." I replied, gloomily.

"Okay, so, can you ride a beast and throw flaming arrows?"

"Nope."

"Well, I'll teach you today." Ganon grinned, and formed into his (AWESOME) beast form. (Like the one in SSBB)

He nudged me, so I scurried up to his back, and sat on him, like riding a yoshi. I saw a couple arrows, and a match.

"Okay... so, go, I guess go." I rushed Ganon.

He started to run out of his door (he broke his door), and I held on to his hair. I held an arrow, and lighted a match.

But, my hand caught on fire, and the box of matches fell off of him. Best day ever. I shook my hand, getting the fire off.

"I CAN BREATHE FIRE!" I thought out loud.

So, I breathed fire on the arrows, and found the bow.

Okay, here we go...

I placed the arrow into the bow, and tried to shoot it onto a house... Well, that didn't work. I got Ganon's hair on fire, so he formed back to his two-legged self.

He facepalmed himself.

"Seriously?"

"Heh... Yep.."

He shook his head, getting the fire out of his hair. He grabbed my hair, and dragged me back to his place.

Okay, back to wherever he lives...

"I'm not even going to bother with the arching." Ganon huffed.

"Yeah, it would be best if you didn't." I replied.

"Where are you going after this?" he asked.

"Link's tree house."

"Then meet me back here when you're done."

"Okay."

AT (GUY) LINK'S TREE HOUSE...

I crossed my arms, and went in. If you don't know, I HATE Link. The guy, not my friend. He was sitting in the middle of the floor, playing with a paper bird.

"Fly, Cucu, FLY! I'LL EAT YOU IF YOU DON'T!" he shouted.

I walked over to him, and kicked his knee. He looked up at me, and smiled.

"Hiya! I'm Link! Did you come here for the job?" Link asked.

"Yeah. Now, let's get to work." I rolled my eyes.

"Yay! Now, change into this!" he exclaimed happily.

Link handed me chlothing that were EXACTLY like his..

"Oh my Jades..." I muttered.

After Link pursuaded me to put the chlothes over the chlothes I had on..

Link looked at me.

"YAAY! WE'RE TWINS, NOW! TWIN HUG!" he was jumping up and down, then hugged me.

"Get. Off. Of. ME!"

"Okay, Link Jr.!"

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, cutie!"

"Or that."

"Fine, then what's your name?"

"Kortez."

"OKAY KORTEZ, LET ME GET YOU A SWORD, THEN LET'S LOOK FOR RUPPEES!" Link exclaimed, and handed me a sword.

Outside of the tree house...

Link was jumping arond, and breaking pots. I just tortured chickens, and threw pumpkins at him. Link looked very pissed, which made me laugh.

AFTER EPICLY FAILING AT THAT...

"Okay, Kortez," Ganon said, "I'll teach you how to break out of chains."

I nodded.

"Chain my hands up with that one at my feet."

"Kay."

So, I did.

"First, you pull,"

"Then you twist,"

"And lastly, yank."

Ganon broke out of the chains.

"Do you think that you can do it?"

I nodded.

So, he chained my hands. I pulled, then twisted, and yanked.

"Good job.." Ganon muttered.

BACK AT LINK'S PLACE..

"LET'S RIDE HORSIES!" Link shouted, and jumped on Epona.

There was a black horse with a black mane standing next to Epona.

"Get on him, Kortez!"

I did, and held onto the saddle. Apperantly, the horse didn't like me, so he bucked me off.

"Wow." I rolled my eyes, and got back up.

In teh sky...

"Kortez, let's FLY!" Pit exclaimed in his little boy voice.

He handed me a P-Wing. I pushed Pit off of a cloud.

"Die." I said, and gained wings.

I jumped off of the cloud, and found Pit.

"Hold your arms out, so you can SOAR!" Pit replied happily.

I just failed at it, and fell in a lake.

"SERIOUSLY!?" I asked out loud.

Back to Ganon...

"And this is how you lick a princess." he tought.

He had Zelda tied up, and he licked her up the side of the face.

"Now, you lick Link."

"Can I bite him at the end?" I asked.

"Sure, kid."

I licked Link, and bit his face. He screamed like a girly Cucu.

To Link...

"Okay, Kortezipoo... I'll teach you how do dig like a wolf in the Twilight Realm!" Link said cheerfully.

"OH JADES! I'VE ALREADY BEEN A DOG BEFORE, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN!"

"C'mon! It'll be FUN!"

Link dragged me to the Twilight Realm, and Midna let us go in.

"LET'S DIG!" Link barked extaticly.

Midna hopped on him, and looked at me.

"Didn't you have sunglasses?" she asked.

"NOOOO! But yes, I did."

But the good part was that I was bigger than Link. So, I dug, and dug, and dug...

"You found a ruppee!" Link arfed.

"Great."

Back to Pit.

I was in my Koopaling self, shades and all..

"Now, let's- AHHHH!" Pit screamed.

I was sitting like a cat, biting his wings.

Back to Link.

I failed at using a Master Sword...

Back to Castle Bleck..

"How much money did you get?" Bleck asked me.

"One ruppee..."