A/N Yeah I know, it's been a while (see the authors note at the end). I have to thank Zhalen, hokie, and ATOB for reading it through and making sure I didn't stray to far from the previous chapters.
Chapter 50 Preparations and Concerns
After eating the whole group cleaned up and then spent the next several hours talking about Leonard's trip and planning for Leonard's going away party on Friday. Amy and Raj talked about Amy meeting with Raj and Lucy on Thursday at Raj's. As it approached 9 PM, Howard and Bernadette left, followed shortly by Raj.
Amy and Penny talked about splitting the duties of taking care of Sheldon. While Sheldon protested he didn't need to be taken care of, Amy and Penny just smiled and agreed that they would wait until things settled in before setting a schedule. Sheldon then objected to not having a schedule set up, but Amy shushed him. They finally said their good nights and Penny and Leonard walked across to 4B.
After entering, Leonard asked, "You want some wine?"
"No, water please. I'll be right out," said Penny, heading into the bedroom.
Leonard grabbed a couple of bottles of water and headed to the couch. He turned on the TV, searching for something to watch. He wasn't going to say anything, he would wait for Penny to bring it up. He settled on a repeat of "Wipeout". It was fun watching others appear to be as uncoordinated as he actually was at something physical.
He was chuckling at some of the falls, when Penny sat next to him. She snuggled up to him, as his arm went around her shoulders. She laid her head on his shoulder, waiting for him to ask about Bernadette's comment. After a few minutes, he hadn't yet said anything. So, she sat up and took a couple of swigs from the bottle.
Leonard felt her lay her head back on her shoulder and sigh. He grinned to himself, as he knew she was worrying about Bernadette's comment.
Penny was trying to watch TV, but her thoughts kept distracting her. Why isn't he asking me about it? Well, I did tell him later. Wait, maybe he forgot about it, or is he just waiting for me to say something. I'll see if I can just wait for a while and get him to ask.
She went back to watching TV, but couldn't concentrate and was chewing on her lower lip, getting more and more nervous. Finally, she couldn't hold it in anymore and said, "Leonard?"
"Yes, Penny?"
"Aren't you going to ask me about what Bernadette said?"
"Should I?" said Leonard. "You mouthed the word "later" to me, so, is this later?"
Penny sat up pulling away slightly from him, "Yeah, I guess it is."
"So, what was that all about…wait, I know," he said with a smile. "You told her about you having to propose, didn't you?"
Penny was silent for a moment, "Yes, I did, I didn't think it was a big deal."
"No," said Leonard looking at her, "it wasn't, so why worry?"
Penny chewed on her bottom lip. "Well, there's more."
"Like what?" asked Leonard.
"Well, you know how I said we shouldn't say anything about the 'promise ring'? I know you didn't say anything to Sheldon, and I appreciate that." She lowered her eyes, "Bernadette knows."
"Penny…"
"No Leonard," Penny siad, "I'm sorry, but she helped me plan it and she came up with the champagne and candles, I thought of the flowers, but she also got me to understand I love you. During our talk, she said she wanted to know how it went….I felt I owed her….so….I told her."
Penny cringed, waiting for Leonard's critical comments.
What she heard was a soft chuckle. "Penny, before you interrupted, I was going to say it didn't matter. You're the one that has to propose, remember. If she's bugging you, that's your problem, not mine." There was another chuckle from Leonard, "But, just in case, do you want to get married before I leave?" His grin widened, "Don't consider this a proposal, just a question."
Penny rolled her eyes. "No Leonard, not yet. Besides, Bernadette had it easier. First, she wanted Howard to move in. You know I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. Second, they were already engaged, so the idea of them getting married a bit sooner wasn't a problem, unlike me, who still has problems with it."
She paused, then almost whispered, "I'm going to miss you terribly, but I'm hoping that it may help me get over my problems with moving in together or us getting married, but, as I said, I'm not there yet, so let's not rush it."
Leonard grinned at her. "OK, we'll wait until I get back, and if everything goes well, we'll discuss it then, how's that?"
A feeling of sadness washed over Penny, with the implication of him leaving. Leonard noticed her expression and said, "Hey, how would you like to go see the Queen Mary tomorrow? Maybe a little Rodeo drive window shopping?"
Penny recovered and smiled at him, "Sounds good, dinner out too?"
"Of course."
She leaned over and kissed him.
….
Penny and Leonard entered 4B. They were both tired from their long day. Spending the morning and early afternoon on the Queen Mary, then walking along Rodeo drive, looking in all the shops. Penny knew she couldn't afford any of items in any of the stores, but she had fun looking at the all the various designer clothes, shoes, and accessories.
Leonard had enjoyed the technical aspects of the ship. He'd been there before, but he learned several new things on this trip. He spent the time on Rodeo drive watching Penny's reactions to the various stores and goods, and grinning. As the sun was setting, they found an Italian restaurant on Sunset Blvd and had a quiet dinner, arriving home around 9 PM.
Leonard had poured their wine and they sat on the couch and talked about their day. Penny had gotten quite a few pictures and while they talked, put them up on her Facebook page. It was around 10 PM when Leonard yawned, then said, "Maybe we should get to bed. You have a day shift tomorrow and I've got to start packing my lab up. I'll also have to start packing my things tomorrow or Tuesday."
Penny got up grabbing his empty glass and heading for the kitchen, so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. "Why don't you go start getting ready for bed, I'll be in when I finish rinsing these out." She was hoping he didn't hear the waver in her voice.
Leonard looked at Penny, but shrugged and said, "OK, I'll meet you in there," before heading for the bedroom.
Penny finished rinsing out the glasses, trying to stop the tears. She was wiping her eyes on her sleeves, It was a few minutes before she finally felt in control enough to walk to the bedroom.
Leonard was already in bed waiting when Penny came into the bedroom. "That took a while," said Leonard.
Penny had turned away, while she undressed. "I wiped down the counters," she said, taking off her bra, and walking into the bathroom. She washed her face, to erase traces of her tears. After finishing the rest of her preparations, she walked out and climbed into bed.
Instead laying with her back to Leonard, she turned toward him, kissing him passionately. It took Leonard by surprise and it was couple of seconds before he responded, but he did, enthusiastically.
An hour later, they were getting back into bed after another trip to the bathroom. This time, Penny snuggled back into a spooning position with Leonard. She felt him nuzzle her neck, then say, "Night Penny, I love you."
She pulled his arm tighter around her, "Night, I love you too."
Less than fifteen minutes later, Penny felt Leonard's arm relax, she guessed he had fallen asleep. I only have five more days with him. She felt the tears starting again. Stop it Penny, you can't let him know how you feel….but, what am I going to do for four months without him?
Although she needed to get to sleep, Penny mind was racing. She thought about the last year; That proposal during sex left things so weird between us through the summer. My uncertainty about whether I loved him, how jealous I was, how insecure I became. How I finally thought I loved him, but didn't really understand what love was. Now, I finally know I love him, but I'm going to be without him for four months. She again started tearing up, but forced herself to stop. I have to get over this. I will get over this. All those thoughts kept running through her mind and it was after three before she finally drifted off.
…..
Penny unlocked the door and entered 4B at 5 PM, surprised she got home before Leonard. She walked into the bedroom, took off her uniform and slowly changed while she thought about her very rough day. I was exhausted all day from falling asleep so late. I didn't even remember if Leonard had come in before he left, or not. Evidently my thinking of Leonard leaving showed on my face. Several customers and the manager told me to cheer up, as it couldn't be that bad.
But it was. She had become more and more depressed as the day went on. She was waiting to check out, and continued to think about being without him for all that time. I know I'll get through it, with Amy and Bernadette helping me get through it. They got me through Priya. And I'll be watching over Sheldon, but I'm going to miss Leonard so much. What am I going to do? I've got to stop thinking like this. She was now looking in the fridge. I'll order Chinese for dinner. I'll have it ready when he gets home.
…..
It was almost seven, and still Leonard wasn't home. The food had gotten there at 6:15 and was cold by now. Penny was getting worried, and was thinking of calling him when she heard the key in the lock. Looking over she saw Leonard walk in.
He looked tired and sad. I wonder if he's feeling the same? Oh God, I haven't even thought about how he's feeling about it. Out loud she said, "Honey, why so late?"
"I got most of the lab disassembled. I wanted to get that done today."
"Why?"
Well," started Leonard, "I have to start packing the equipment up tomorrow and I also have some paperwork to fill out for the University. I have some equipment I'm going to have to send ahead, so I have to get that packed up to travel and I also have to start my own packing tomorrow. Both my personal gear that's going with the equipment and my clothes and personal stuff I'm taking with me."
Again, she was overcome by sadness, but tried to hide it. Turning away she said, "W-W-Well, sit down, I got… food, but I'll have to run it…it…it through the microwave, OK?"
"Sure, can you get me a glass of wine?"
"Of course," said Penny, getting a bottle out of the refrigerator. "What time to you have to go in tomorrow?" She was still facing away from Leonard.
"Not till later." Leonard grinned at her. "I'll bet you have to go in before I do tomorrow."
"What?" said Penny, bringing the glass over to Leonard.
"I have to start my personal packing tomorrow, so I'll get that done before I go in. So, I'll get to see you off to work."
"Oh, cool," said Penny with a slight smile. "That will be different."
"Yeah, it will."
The microwave went off and Penny got up to get the food. She called for Leonard to come to the table while she put the food on it. After eating, they cleaned up and took their wine to the couch. Leonard let Penny pick the show and for the next two hours, they watched Sex in the City, before heading to bed. They were both too exhausted to do anything more than fall asleep almost immediately.
….
Penny woke up Tuesday morning, from a dream that Leonard had already left. She was still groggy and reached back for Leonard. When she didn't feel him and her arm motion became frantic, trying to feel for him. "Leonard?" she yelled. She heard nothing, so she said louder, "Leonard?" When there was still nothing, she began to panic.
Wait. It wasn't a dream? He couldn't have already left, he has to be here. She was shaking as she reached for her phone. She yelled one more time, "Leonard." 7:30, where was Leonard? He has to be here. She threw the covers back and started to get out of bed. Just as her feet hit the floor, she heard her apartment door close.
"Is that you Leonard?" she yelled out, sounding desperate.
"Yeah, I ran across the hall," he she heard from the living room, "are you alright?"
"Yeah," she said, walking out of the bedroom, "I'm fine, why."
"You sounded a bit shaky there."
Dammit. She thought. I have to control that. "No, I'm fine, just a bit groggy, yet."
"Oh, well go grab some coffee," said Leonard. "I'm bringing the clothes I'm taking with me over here. The stuff I already know I'm shipping is over in the other apartment."
Penny walked over to get some coffee, trying to calm herself. I can't get panicky like that. What the hell is wrong with me. She sat at the island, watching Leonard moving things from one pile, into two different piles.
"So what is what?" Penny asked as she took sip of her coffee.
'I'm trying to see what I can fit into the two bags I'm allowed. Everything I want to take with me I have to get together." He indicated the pile in front of her TV. "What I can't get into the two bags I'm allowed, which is going to be a lot," he indicated the other pile, "I'll put over here.
I have to figure out what I absolutely have to take with me and what I can do without until I get there. What can wait, I'll take back across the hall and take all of those to the university. Those things, have to be packed in the crates, along with some of my equipment, my cold and wet weather gear. Those will be picked up on Friday and will be sent to Edinburgh…
"Wait, that's where you're leaving from, where the ship is?" Penny asked, "That's in Scotland, right?"
"Yeah," Leonard nodded. "The crates will be put onto the ship. Once it's on the ship, I'll have to unpack everything."
Penny watched Leonard, while slowly drinking her coffee. "So," she finally said, "you're figuring out what to take and what to ship?"
"Yep," he said, putting some more stuff in front of the TV. "Only got three more days."
Penny's mind snapped to Sunday, when Leonard would be leaving. With grief building within her, she started to choke up. Quickly turning away, she realized she wouldn't be able to control herself or the tears. I can't stay out here. I'll break down. A shower, I can go get my shower. She put down her cup and started quickly for the bedroom, making sure she looked out the window, away from Leonard.
"Hey, where are your going?" said Leonard
"Going to get my shower," Penny yelled, trying to control her voice.
Leonard heard it, "You OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, swearing to herself and continuing into the bedroom. Penny fought her tears until she was in the shower, then she couldn't hold them back. Penny was now fighting the urge to break down into sobs.
I can't, Leonard will hear and want to stay. I can't hold him back. Penny took a long shower, waiting until she felt under control, before stepping out. Reaching for her towel, she realized she still had the same problem. What can I do? I can't spend time out there with him. I'll fall apart…
Suddenly, an idea came to her, and she continued thinking about it while she dried off, and was still turning it over in her mind, as she put on her panties and bra, wondering if it would work. She made up her mind, as she couldn't see any other solution. She put on her robe and walked out to the living room.
Leonard was still concentrating on separating his things. Penny called out, "Leonard."
Leonard didn't answer, so he called out again, louder, "Leonard!".
"Huh?" said Leonard looking up.
"Hey, the store called," said Penny, looking at the piles of clothes to avoid looking at Leonard. "Someone called off and they want me in early to help get things set up. So I'm going to get dressed and head to work." Penny looked down after her comment.
Leonard never looked up, "OK, I'll be busy here, then I have to go in and get some of the stuff put up, I may not be back until late tonight."
The relief was obvious on Penny's face, "OK, I'll go get ready." Penny turned, entered the bedroom and spending the next twenty minutes getting ready. She came out of the bedroom dressed and walked over to Leonard, trying to keep her face neutral. "Bye, I'll see you tonight," she said, then kissed him.
He smiled and said, "Bye, love you."
Penny managed a smile and said, "Love you too." She walked to the door, opening it and leaving. Not knowing what else to do, when she got to her car, she drove to the restaurant. When she entered, the day manager asked her why she was so early. She told her she had to take someone else to work and was just going to read some magazines, until she was due to clock in.
...
Leonard continued working on separating his things until ten AM. Then he packed the two bags, almost filling them. He would have a carryon also, but that would be his medications and his computer. The items he didn't pack, he took down to his car, as he was planning on taking them to the school to be packed with the equipment. Returning to 4B, he locked the door, ran back to 4A, picked up the other things that had to go in the crates, and then left, heading to school.
After stopping at the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee, he got to his lab and began separating the equipment he planned on taking and those he planed on leaving. Once that was done, he started preparing his equipment for packing. The equipment he was planning on taking were put off to the side. He would finish with those tomorrow as they had to be carefully packed. The rest were simply put in their containers and put along the opposite wall. Tomorrow, once they were put in crates, they would be moved to some containers in one of the Cal Tech storage areas.
After getting the pieces on opposite walls, he realized he hadn't had anything to eat since before he started separating his things at Pennys this morning, so he decided to head to the cafeteria to get some dinner. Afterward, he started putting the unneeded equipment in the crates, to be unpacked in the fall, when he returned. It was after 10, when he finally quit, locking his lab before heading home.
…..
Penny slowly climbed the stairs, it was almost 9 PM and she was tired from being at work for almost 12 hours, not to mention she hadn't fully recovered from the previous night. Not only did she go in early for no reason, but she volunteered to cover for a missing server on the dinner shift, to keep from going to an empty apartment.
Upon opening her door, all the lights were off, indicating that Leonard still wasn't home. She walked into the bedroom, took off her uniform, put it in the hamper and threw on a pair of sweats. She opened a bottle of wine, pouring a small glass.
Sitting at the table, she was looking over the city, thinking about Sunday, when Leonard would leave, which again had her tearing up. While trying to hold back the tears, she realized she couldn't remember what time he had to be at the airport, After a few minutes of trying to figure it out, it came to her that as tired as she was, she wasn't thinking clearly and was getting close to breaking down again.
So she gave up, finished her wine, left the light on over the stove, and walked to her bedroom. After finishing her preparations for bed, she laid down, pulled the sheets and blanket over her, trying to fall asleep.
As tired as she was, she still struggled to get to sleep over an hour later, thinking of Leonard leaving. She finally was finally drifting off to sleep, when she heard a key in the lock and the door open. Knowing it was Leonard, and not wanting to talk to him, she laid there like she was sleeping, and after a few minutes Leonard came in, did his preparations for going to bed and climbed in next to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. Penny continued to act like she was asleep.
….
Penny felt his lips on hers as she woke up. He was looking down on her smiling.
"Hey you," he said, "I missed you last night."
"I'm sorry Leonard," she said, not looking at him. "I stayed and covered another servers shift and I was just so tired, I went straight to bed."
"Well, I'll probably be in bed tonight when you get home," he said. "Since I'll be asleep, I wanted to be able to tell you I love you, sometime today, so here's my chance." He became serious, "And, remember, if you need to, wake me up."
Penny reached up and pulled Leonard into a tight hug. Leonard was surprised, but hugged her back. After a few moments she released him. "What was that for?" he asked.
"Well, I missed you last night too," she said. So, I wanted to give you an extra one. Here's the kiss I missed last night." She pulled him down and gave him a lingering kiss.
After breaking, Leonard smiled and said, "Hold that thought, maybe I won't be asleep tonight."
Penny forced a smile, "I love you, have a good day."
"I will now," he said smiling. "I should have tomorrow off, so we can be together all day. So think of something you want to do tomorrow. Oh, and everyone is coming over for dinner tomorrow." Leonard left the bedroom, looking back and saying, "Have a good day. I love you." With that he left the apartment.
Penny had frozen upon hearing they would have the day together on Thursday. Now, as she got out of bed, she worried about breaking down in front of Leonard the next day. Between those thoughts, and her sorrow at his leaving, she was fighting her tears as she got herself a cup of coffee. Getting to the table she sat down, looking out her window. A wave of despair washed over her and she laid her head on her arm sobbing.
…..
Leonard spent the morning finishing packing the equipment he was taking with him. He had left this equipment until last as each part, of each piece of measuring equipment, had to be very carefully wrapped to protect it. These were highly sensitive measuring devices, and were not normally moved around. He was concerned that movement while crating, shipping to the airport, during the flight, or unpacking would damage the equipment.
He was most worried about damage to the detectors, making them useless for measuring anything on the ship. Because of this, he started off by wrapping each piece within the first piece of equipment with bubble wrap then taped the pieces tightly, to reduce movement, then he wrapped the entire piece of equipment.
He broke for lunch late, heading for the cafeteria. From the line, he waved at Sheldon, Howard, and Raj, as they were leaving. Sitting down he began eating, looking over his list of things he was going to have to get done. Looking at one of them, he realized he was going to have to do that tonight. Sheldon would just have to be late to the Comic Book store.
He notice President Siebert come into the cafeteria, looking around. I'll bet he's looking for me, thought Leonard. He was proven right by Siebert walking right toward Leonard, after noticing him.
"Leonard," said Siebert, the first name basis again puzzling Leonard. "Can you be in my office tomorrow around 9 AM?"
"Sure, what for?
"There are some final arrangement the British team want to go over," Siebert explained, and they want to talk to you about the equipment. While it belongs to the university, it's you that has been using it and knows it better than anyone. I'd like you there when they go over it. They said they would call sometime around 9 AM our time."
"I didn't plan on coming in tomorrow, but there's nothing I have to be doing," Leonard said, thinking about telling Penny he'd be off tomorrow. "I'll be there."
"Thank you," said Seibert, "I'll see you tomorrow then, Leonard."
Leonard finished up his lunch and headed back to his lab. He called facilities management to bring his cold and wet weather gear to his lab, and that he was ready for them to pick up the equipment that was staying there. As for the rest, he wanted to finish preparing the equipment he was taking, so he could crate them up. Then he was going to add his cold and wet weather gear to the crates. He would bring his things from home tomorrow. He would work until it was time to take Sheldon home, and he would head to the store then. He had been looking on-line and knew just what he wanted.
…
Penny had finally managed to stop crying by the time she finished her second cup of coffee. She had started picking up the clothes scattered around, and vacuuming. She took short break, getting another cup of coffee and try as she might, she couldn't help but start crying again.
She reached for her phone, looked for the number and pushed dial. After a couple of rings, she heard "Hello?"
She sobbed, sniffed and said, "I can't do this….I half to talk to you….can you meet me tonight?
"Penny, what's wrong?"
"I need your help, Bernadette."
A/N I never thought of abandoning this. I went through some struggles writing it (call it writers block) the whole time. I also had a month and a half of running a fever of 100-103F, during which time I did as little as possible. Then the next month and a half trying to catch up with all the work I placed on hold due to the fever.
This weekend, I decided to split this chapter as it allows me to get something out while I finish the rest of it (only two sections to write before starting to edit 51. It's interesting that as soon as I decided to split it, everything came pouring out. As if the decision to split it, removed the block.
I really appreciate the inquiries about how it was coming along. It indicated you missed it. But, if you want to get something to me, send a PM or write a review under your user name. Guest reviews that have nothing to do with reviews are simply deleted.
