HOLY SNAP! ok i will post more today don't worry but it was pointed out that holly hell! yesterday was the one year aniversary of this fic!!!!! I usually just get bored by now omg....wow....holy frickin....im like just blown away! JESUS! lol and THANK YOU GUYS AGIAN!!! JUST wow!
ok soryy bout that! im just in shock right now...like ...wow....um..im blown away this is amazing i ussually do get just tired after a few months...wow..ok more soon just had to say that..
As soon as she leaves I feel a hot tear run down my cheek. What am I supposed to do with myself now. I can't exactly call Aiden, or could I? I don't really know the protocol of dating someone that just hit you. I mean do I break up with him or was it a one time thing? Another hot tear ran down my face only slower. I just sit in darkness barely thinking, I'm frozen. I can't even begin to think of what I need to do. With Aiden, with Spencer, hell even with Carmen. Because Spencer was right. I had no right to say who she can and can't date. I heard the front door open and close and could pretty much tell Kyla was home from eating with Chelsea.
"Hey, Ash, are you ok?" She asks sitting next to me inspecting my cheek. I had forgotten that it had even been there for awhile. There was too much shouting going on for me to realize it. And as if I had just been in a car crash it hit me and my breath left my lungs.
"Does Spencer not want to see me again?" I whisper out as best I could. I know Kyla couldn't have the answer to it but there were too many questions in my head that it had just escaped.
"What?" I just shake my head the tears running freely. Is that what she meant? She didn't want to be with me or see me? I mean, was she just giving up on me completely?
It's been a couple weeks and Spencer hasn't spoken to me. Aiden and I were still dating but we weren't close like before. I tried my best to stay away from him. I wasn't sure if it was because of what happened at the movies or because I wanted Spencer. Lucky for me Carmen went to a different school. Thank God. I don't think I could handle seeing Spencer around her. We still sat next to each other, still shared our friends not dividing our pack and making them choose. Which was probably the only good thing that has happened to me lately. My thoughts were dragged back to the class when the teacher started naming partners for our next project. My heart stopped when Spencer was paired with me and I couldn't help but look over at her. She seemed so dead, so just completely dull and lifeless.
"Uh, S-spencer.." I start to say. She doesn't even look at me.
"You can ask for someone else. I would understand." I tell her in a near whisper. She just scoffed and looked at me with such anger.
"Why because simply apologizing would be too hard?"
"What? Spence, I'm sorry. Truly and deeply sorry, you were right. I was wrong. If that's all you wanted I would have done it so long ago, but you never picked up my phone calls, you never called me back, answered my messages. I didn't think you even wanted to hear any of it. I am sorry Spencer." I watch her just play with the pencil before she speaks.
"Look, I don't want an apology if you don't even mean it. Lets just split up parts and then put it together when we finish ok." She tells me and what else can I do but nod. When the bell rings for lunch I rush up out of my seat before she can see my tears. I've been crying a lot lately and I've noticed that it's been getting harder to control. Instead of heading to the usual table I run off to the lockers, its far from the lunch pavillion I usually sit at and its far away from Spencer. I get a text from Aiden asking where I am but I ignore, like he cares. Like anyone cares. I've lost everyone and I don't think I've ever felt so lonely. But, at the same time, I'm ok with it. Being alone isn't that bad, because, by being alone I have no one to hurt me. No one to rip me up to shreds. Just me. That is until some stranger comes up behind me. I don't know who she was but she resembled Spencer in a way. Long blond hair, blue eyes, only this girl had some freckles. And the shade of blond was slightly darker. Plus she dressed a lot different, tight skinny jeans and a low cut shirt.
"Hey, are you ok?" She asked with a Texan accent. And even though I know its not Spencer, I still cry.
"Oh, wow, um do you want to talk about it?" The girl asked sitting next to me. I just chuckle, who was this person again? Why does she care?
"Why, its not like it'll fix anything." I tell her. She sighs and looks forward, away from me.
"True, but it'll make you feel better." she tells me with a smile her eyes now back on me.
"Now come on spill, its either this or Chem. and well, I think the choice is obvious." She says with a giggle. I couldn't help but smile a little bit too.
"Alright, well lets just say life, dating, and well anything related to them sucks ass." I state simply and she lays her head back letting out a scoff.
"Tell me about it. You ever just want to scream at the top of your lungs and just jump off a cliff," she pauses and looks at me laughing when she see's my "what the hell" face.
"Not to kill yourself, just to feel the release, like jump into a large lake or bay or something. I don't know. Maybe its just me, or maybe I'm not making sense." She trails off. But she is making sense, because everything she just described is everything I'm going through. Its everything I want to feel.
"No you're making sense. I get what you mean." I say finally looking her right in the eye. What I thought were blue turned out to be a sea green. They were kind of cool. My stare breaks when she sighs and looks away.
"So, why are you by yourself? Aren't you dating the basketball star or something?" I chuckled. I really was getting a name for myself huh.
"Yeah, but the star is a pre-Madonna." I tell her wondering if I said too much. I mean it wasn't any of her business but for some reason she seemed so easy to talk to.
"Yeah, Well lets go meet this pre-Madonna, shall we?" She says helping me up. I smile but instantly remember Spencer and can't move.
"What?"
"Well he's not the only one I'm avoiding. I kind of made one of my really good friends mad, and now she is barely talking to me."
"So lets go fix it, come on I'm sure it can't be that bad." She says pulling me off towards the tables. And even though I know it is that bad, even though its pretty impossible to fix I go along with it. This girl just makes me think what the hell, what have I got to lose.
"So which table?" I point, and she drags me.
"Hey ya'll you mind if I join ya?" she asks taking a seat anyways. I couldn't help but laugh a little when she sits right next to a dumb struck Spencer. It was nice to laugh for once though. "So hi, I'm Riley." She says offering her hand to anyone who will take it.
"Hi, I'm Chelsea, this is Clay, tat's Kyla, Spencer, and Aiden. And I guess you already met Ashley." She says watching me as I sit.
"Yeah, poor thing was all by herself. I swear whatever boy got her so down truly is an ass." she says and oddly I can't help but snicker. Maybe because I know she knows he's right there. And when he just clears his throat it makes my laughter harder to contain.
"Ash, look clearly we need to work together on this project so just call me ok." Spencer nearly mumbles and it hurts. She didn't even look at me when she said it, just right down at her food.
"Oh, uh ok."
"Hey, I was thinking about skipping the rest of the day, you wanna come?" Riley asks me turning away from the others.
"Well since that sounds better than anything else I have planned sure, why not." I reply with a smile.
"Alright well lets go before they lock up the gates, the bells gonna ring soon." and with that she nearly throws me off the seat and we rush to our cars leaving everyone behind.
