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Chapter 15: The Lifeform

The feud between Thrawn and Tigellinus grew to epic proportions in the aftermath of Nazmat Koch's funeral, and the arrogance of an alien officer challenging a well-established Grand Admiral seemed to have become the only talk in town, when Thrawn was abruptly summoned by the Emperor to Naboo three weeks ahead of the Festival of Stars. The HoloNet channels were now awash with speculation that he would be demoted, exiled or even executed, and Ayesha tried not to show her anxiety on the eve of his departure, but she was nervous and fidgeting and kept chewing her nails until Thrawn took her hand to remove it from her mouth. "I want you to listen to me carefully, Ayoo'sha," he said. "There is nothing to worry about. Nothing. Do you understand?" She went to speak. "Please, Ayoo'sha. This is not the time for questions. Soon we will be in the Unknown Regions, and when that happens I promise that I will satisfy your curiosity. Now will you not have some of these excellent glowblue noodles? Flo follows Chef Gormaanda's recipe to the letter and I am told that she distils the chav herself."

"I'm not really hungry," Ayesha mumbled.

Thrawn served her a large portion nevertheless, and, despite her claims to the contrary she was soon eating voraciously, making him chuckle. "If concern for my well-being will kindle your appetite in such a way, I will consider giving you more cause for apprehension in the future," he said. "However, rest assured that I know what I am doing. So far everything has been developing according to my plan, and as your friend Captain Ruud will confirm, my plans rarely, if ever, fail. You should invite him over one of these days while I am away. He will put your mind at ease."

In the weeks that followed, they communicated occasionally by holocomm. A long conversation with Matt had indeed helped Ayesha feel more positive about the whole situation and Thrawn's supreme confidence also appeared to rub off on her over time. "I need you to come back now," she told him ten days into his stay. "First there was the Corulag business, and then you were awfully busy for three months after we came back. I want time with my lifemate, you know."

Thrawn gave her a warm smile. "That you will have, Ayoo'sha. I will be arriving early in the morning of the first day of the Festival of Lights."

The end of the month came and the sky of Coruscant was barely shifting to the first colours of dawn when Thrawn entered the bedroom and stripped off his uniform, careful not to wake Ayesha, whose sleeping form could be distinguished on the bed. She stirred when he slipped under the covers, and she turned around to look at him with a radiant smile. "Come here," she whispered. "I haven't seen you in ages and I want a hug."

There was a sweetness to her touch that completely disarmed him, and time and space spun out in all directions until she finally rolled back on the mattress and lay on her side, her face millimetres from his. "Welcome home," she breathed. "I missed you."

"And you know how much that thought pleases me, Ayoo'sha'nek," he murmured. "However, be warned that you are taking a risk. If this is the welcome I receive when I go away, I may do so more often." His smile widened under her menacing glare, and he entwined himself around her. "A more likely consequence is that I will be impatient and unfocused in these all-night debriefings at the thought of what is waiting for me at home. That would reflect very poorly on my record of service."

Ayesha's mouth played in his neck and along his jaw until she found his lips again. She abruptly pulled back and escaped his embrace. "Do they feed you at all in these debriefings? I'm going to make breakfast."

Thrawn watched her slip her nightdress over her head. "Is my welcome home party over so soon, Ayoo'sha?" he asked with mock disappointment. "I was hoping for more."

"Only if you're very lucky," she said with a wicked grin. "And if you're not going straight back to the Palace after we eat. Now I need food."

He sighed in despair. "Food seems to be my worst enemy. I will take a quick shower and catch up with you."

The kitchen table was collapsing under a mountain of jars and buns when he joined her in the kitchen, bare-chested in his jumpsuit trousers. She was busying herself with bufferavian eggs and nerf bacon near the stove. Thrawn pulled his stool from under the table and sat with his back to the wall, watching her with great amusement as she brought two very large portions and laid them out in front of them. He cocked an eyebrow in question when she added cream and sugar to her usual mug of strong, black caf, but she ignored him and launched herself on her food as if she hadn't eaten in days. She made short work of the scrambled eggs, gulped down her wroshyr sap syrup and immediately grabbed a spice bun, stabbing it open and spooning abundant quantities of wasaka berry jam on it.

"Still the ravenous Wookiee appetite, I see," he finally said with a twitch of his lips.

She grinned. "What are you complaining about? You've been asking me to become more fat for months. I'm trying hard, you know."

Thrawn couldn't contain his smile. "Of course. I should have known that my rivalry with food for a special place in your heart is not a rivalry at all. It merely stems from your desire to please me."

She grimaced. "Okay, right. I'll go on a diet and become skinny like a Kaminoan, and then you can have my heart all to yourself. Happy?"

"Not at all, Ayoo'sha, not at all," he answered in the tone of a man thoroughly enjoying himself. "I would obviously be delighted to have your heart all to myself, but I would much rather it be wrapped in a warm and voluptuous body, at the very least in the one you already have."

There was a flash of phosphorescence in his eyes as he spoke and his fingers were making their way up her thigh under the table. "Stop that," she said sternly. "I'm not done eating yet. Tell me about your trip instead."

He spoke evasively of his meetings with the Emperor – they had been fairly fruitful, he said – then asked for news from the Plebeian Exhibition. Ayesha described with elation how, five months after the inauguration, sentients of all species were still flocking by the hundreds to visit it, some of them returning for the second and third time. The organizing committee led by Kal was running out of ideas for entertainment events, but many small bands, and some better-known ones, were volunteering to perform for the crowds. "We even had Larisselle Chatrunis last week, and the Modal Nodes offered to come next month if the exhibition is still open." Some of the participating artists had taken to organizing workshops for younglings in the mornings, and often had to fight back overenthusiastic parents who unwittingly took over the activity. "And Onion sold five pieces. Five, in the last two weeks. He's becoming this big hit with art collectors. Even human supremacist news flimsies are giving positive reviews of his work now, and there's going to be a one-hour show about him on the HoloNet. I'm so happy for him."

Her face was glowing with joy and excitement. Thrawn shook his head as he caressed her cheek. "Your capacity to rejoice over the happiness of others never ceases to astound me, Ayoo'sha," he said in response to her questioning look. "You give all your love without ever expecting anything in return. You experience your friends' every success, every moment as keenly as if it were yours. You have no idea whatsoever how exceptional that makes you, and I hope you never will."

She blushed and started clearing the plates from the table. Thrawn leaned back against the wall and watched her potter around the sink. Sunlight was pouring over her through the transparisteel window, revealing her silhouette through the thin cloth. She was wearing one of the floor-length nightdresses that Thrawn had seen many times, but there were minute differences about her this morning. The curve of her hip was slightly softer, the roundness of her buttocks was slightly more pronounced, the nearly-transparent fabric was stretched slightly thinner over the bulge of her breasts. She caught him staring and asked, "What?"

Thrawn smiled. "Your Wookiee appetite must finally be catching up with you, Ayoo'sha'nek. I believe that I am seeing some very welcome new micrograms of Ayesha here and there."

She came to stand in front of him and let him run his hands up and down her waist, as if he were seeking confirmation. "I was wondering if you'd notice," she said. "But then, I should know that you always notice everything."

He was now rubbing his palm on her navel. "How could I not notice, Ayoo'sha? I have never seen you so beautiful. You are radiant, you are luminous, you are..."

"Pregnant," she interrupted.

All the stars in the Galaxy held their breath as he gazed at her, too stunned for words. His eyebrows reached his hairline and he opened his mouth several times to speak, but no sound came out and he closed it again. She thought it uproariously funny and was giggling uncontrollably when she bowed to whisper in his ear, "Congratulations, Admiral. You're going to be a father."

"How?" he finally blurted. "How, when?"

She giggled harder. "I think you had a hand in the how, you know. You don't believe that thrantas bring babies, do you? Even Tammy lost his illusions about that a long time ago."

Thrawn pulled her closer and hid his face in her belly. "You are absolutely merciless, Ayoo'sha, and you are letting me make a fool of myself. Please show some compassion and tell me everything I should know about..." – he took a deep breath – "about our child."

The word made her shiver violently. "There's not much to know, Qubshi be-khadeeb," she said in an unsteady voice. "I only got confirmation from Simon last week. According to him, thirty-nine days already and six and a half months to go, give or take, although he says that could vary because he doesn't know how the Chiss parameter will play out."

Thrawn looked at her with the proverbial eyebrow. "The Chiss parameter?"

"His words, not mine," she chuckled. "You told me that Chiss children grow up faster, so it could affect the development of this little lifeform, but he says that everything looks like a regular human or Kiffar pregnancy for now."

He was staring at her as if she had sprouted a second head. "Do you... feel it?"

She laughed. "Other than being both queasy and hungry all the time? No. The Lifeform is far too small. Simon says it's big like this." She showed the tip of her little finger.

Thrawn buried his face in her belly again. She felt his breath through the thin fabric and realised that he was whispering inaudibly in Cheunh. It made her laugh once more. "Talk all you want, I don't think the Lifeform has ears to hear you yet."

"Is that what you call our child?" he asked without looking up. "The Lifeform?"

"Can you think of a better name?" she countered.

He shook his head, rubbing his nose on her stomach. "Admittedly at this stage, I am not thinking at all," he muttered after a while.

She laughed again and ran her fingers through his hair. "Anyway, to go back to our original discussion, it's good that you like the extra fat, because the micrograms are going to turn into kilograms."

His hands travelled down the back of her thighs and up again. "I will like that," he said absent-mindedly. "I will like all of it." He suddenly stood up and cradled her in his arms as if she were made of delicate crystal to carry her to the bedroom. He laid her carefully on the bed, pulled her nightdress over her head and lay down with his ear on her heart. His fingertips trailed very softly on her womb. "This is better," he murmured. "I would like to have a silent conversation with the Lifeform now, if you don't mind."

His touch was hypnotic and Ayesha dozed off. He hadn't moved a millimetre when she woke up. She could feel his breath on the skin of her belly, and his palm was lying protectively on her little bump of tummy fat, as if sheltering the tiny life within her from the outside world. There was a poignancy to the gesture that brought silent tears to her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and planted a fierce kiss on the top of his head. "Are you getting used to the idea?" she whispered.

There was a long silence. "How can you be so calm, Ayoo'sha? Right now, it is taking every ounce of my self-control not to... well, I do not know not to what exactly, but it is taking every ounce of my self-control in any case." He propped himself up on his elbow to look at her and saw the remnants of her tears. "Is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?"

The expression of undisguised concern on his face turned the crying jag into an uncontrollable laughing jag again. "I'm very much alright, Qubshi be-khadeeb," she said, pulling his head to her shoulder. "I'm more than alright. I just love you more than before right now, and I didn't know that was possible." She caressed the nape of his neck. "Are you going to the Palace today?"

Thrawn snorted. "I will not. I was planning to do some work from here, but that will have to wait until I am less distracted."

"Then could we go and see Simon this afternoon? He needs to talk to both of us."

"Of course," Thrawn said, then asked hesitantly, "Would you like Simon to follow you throughout?"

"No," she replied thoughtfully. "He can't. That's one of the things he wants to talk about." Thrawn lifted himself up again, an eyebrow arched in question. "I shouldn't continue going to the Centre," she went on. "Scampering around the Underlevels isn't such a good idea for the Lifeform. And I think the mother avian in you would worry too much, even though you wouldn't say anything."

Thrawn gazed at her in silence. "Thank you," he finally said.

"I'm not as crazy as you seem to believe, Thrawn," she chuckled before pulling him closer and planting a kiss on his lips. "Now, since we have some time until I need food again, there's an unfinished welcome home party that needs to be taken care of."

He gave her an uncertain look. "Are you sure this is appropriate for... for the Lifeform?"

She burst out laughing again. "First thrantas, now this," she hiccupped. "Qubshi, the Lifeform does not herald a seven-month period of abstinence. It's bad enough that I have to give up on cortyg brandy, I'm not giving up on you." Her tongue darted teasingly in his mouth and her fingers tickled his spine until she felt his hand crawl up her waist. "This is how the Lifeform was made, you know," she whispered. "I'm sure it won't mind the reminder."