Bebop Angel Marionnete

A Long Time Ago in A Galaxy Far, Far Away... no, not that far, closer, closer, ok, yeah, right there.

In the inky blackness of space floted what apeared, upon first glance, to be a milk carton, painted grey and festooned with christmas lights, it was in fact a supply shuttle from the SS Nermia.

"I come home, in the morning light."

"My mother says, 'when you gonna live your life right?'"

"Oh mother dear were not the fortunate ones."

"And girls just wanna have fun."

Sang the pilot, one Ukyo Kuonji. 2nd leftenant in the space forces of Fiancee the planet of women warriors, currently at war with the other planet of female warriors, Amazonia.

Her singing it´s interrupted by a female voice comeing from the radio.

"Kuonji , Oh My! You have to come back to base it´s lunch time, the troops need their food."

"Roger..." she responded, then mumbled to herself,"I can belvie it, I´m one of the greatest warriors of my planet and I have to make lunch for the whole military base... and in this piece of junk, luckly I´m also the best navigator in my whole country so there is no comet or enemy that could bring me down."

BOOM

Ukyo lost control of the spaceship and crashes in some unknown planet

"Lucky for me I took those mechanic classes at the base, I´m sure I can repair the shuttle and still make lunch." she put on a coverall and put her hair up in a ponytail. Ukyou got out of the space ship and examined it.

"Wait a minute, this wasnt caused by engine failure, this thing was shot!" Imediately after saying this, she heard someone shouting nearby.

"God dammit, where am I? Shi-shi-hokodan!" Ryoga Hibiki, officer in the Japanese navy, had been at sea for three years, this morning he had gone diving and somhow wound up on this strange planet, he wasn't overly concerned, things like this just seemed to happen to him.

She looked to were the voice was coming from, and saw Ryoga shoot a big green ball of energy into the sky.

"It´s some kind of alien duck monster with enourmous powers!! It´s surely a threat, I should exterminate it."

She charged at the strange creature and hit it with her spatula.

Ryoga was surpised. Who was the skinny guy atacking him for no aperant reason.

"DIE ALIEN DUCK MONSTER!!" CLANG CLANG CLANG

What? Did he mean him? Nobody called him a duck and got away with it!

+FIGHT+

Hours Later

"Give up duck, you'll never beat me!" Procaimed the skinny guy.

"Oh yeah?" responded Ryoga, removing his scuba gear so he could fight better.

"Hey! You're not a duck, what are you?"

"What do you care I´m going to kick you ass anyway!!"

It certainly wasn't very intelligent if it thought it could beat her, thought Ukyo.

"You're really weird! Duck? Amazon? Whatever. You're freaking me out!!" Ryoga charged and grabbed her by the front of the coverall.

"Just shut up!! Duck, amazon?! What the hell is your problem!!"

Ukyo jumped away from him, but he ended up tearing the front of the coverall, Revealing Ukyo's bare breasts.

He looked at her exposed chest "You're a woman." he stated weakly, then fainted.

Ukyou looked at him in suprise, then takes him prisoner and cuffs his hands behind him.

while he's knocked out she discovers she can't repair the ship

she wakes him up by waveing a bottle of smelling salts under his nose.

"Where is Shampoo-hime, how many zoid equiped troopers do you have, where is the phylosopher's stone?"

He has a nosebleed and passes out again at seeing her topless.

Great, she was trapped on this planet with this big dumb thing that kept passing out.

Great, he was trapped on this planet with this weird naked woman that keep asking him strange questions, This was all Ranma's fault.

FLASHBACK

"Hey ryoga I have the scuba diving shift today, but, you know I don't like water so. Could you cover for me?"

END OF FLASHBACK

"Why Would you join the navy if you dont like water?" he thought.

Ukyou splashed his face with water in another attempt to wake him up.

'wow,' he thought, 'its a good thing I don't have some kind of curse that works with cold water.'

he manages to avert his eyes, "Geez put some clothes on."

"You don´t get to give orders here." responded the naked woman.

+Gulp+. She was one of THOSE kinds of girls.

"I´m only dressing up because i don´t want your disgusting Amazon blood to touch me."

Amazon again, what was she talking about? He'd never even been to South America.

"I'm Japanese."

'That must be some kind of Amazon code,' thought Ukyo. "Ok... Japanese... I have other methods to make you tell the truth."

He didn't like the sound of that. He shoul dleave now, using his enourmos strenth he snapped the handcuffs and got to his feet.

"WHAT?" she tackled him, landing on top.

Ryoga blushed, he hadn't been this close to a girl in years... he was all alone at sea, of course he had his way of distracting himself... ok this was not a good thing to think with a girl on top of him, a girl who had been naked a few minutes ago.

Ukyo noticed something poking her.

"What´s that!!" " A WEAPON!!" she said and gripped his groin.

He jumped away in pain.

'What kind of weapon was that?' She thought, It was all warm and fleshy...

'AAA! Girls were never this forward back home!'

"WHAT KIND OF WEAPON IS THAT JAPANESE?!"

Blush

Mumbles

Something else was bothering her, when it was in it's duck form this amazon was more agressive... but now it was like she was holding back...this was disgracefull, a dirty amazon holding back against the super warrior Ukyou!!

"DO YOU KNOW WHO AM I?!" she shouted.

"Not really, no."

she was shocked.

"I´M KUONJI UKYO, FROM THE OKONOMIYAKI COUNTRY, WAR HERO, ALSO KNOWN AS THE DEADLY CHEFF OR THE CUTE ASSASSIN!"

"Ryoga Hibiki, japanese navy. charmed I'm sure." he said automatically.

"I don´t know what that code means."

"What code? Are you insane?"

"ME!? You with your hairy face and your hiding things in weird places... you know.. thats not a good place to hide a weapon... you flat chasted- gorilla woman!"

He sputtered, she thought he was a girl?

"I'm a guy, you psychotic harpy!"

"STOP TALKING IN CODE!!"

"What code? What the hell is wrong with you?"

It think something's wrong here... hey, are you from planet "Fiancee"?

"No, I'm from Earth."

Clang!! "WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO EARLIER!!"

"You didn't ask!"

"JACKASS!!" CLANG CLANG CLANG!! "Why did you shoot my space ship?"

"I never shot your spaceship!"

"Yes you did, with that ki blast you were shooting into the sky."CLANG

"Oh, uh, sorry."

CLANG

"Stop that!"

Why?! I´m MAD, I´m stuck on a deserted planet with a stupid alien!"

"What alien?"

"You are not a woman then you are an alien."

"I´m a male."

"What´s that?..."

"What? You mean you don´t know what males are? How do you reproduce?"

"What?!"

"It takes a man," he points at himself, " and a woman," he points at her... "to make a baby."

"YEAH RIGHT! You're full of it! Explain it then."

"Well, when a man and a woman love eatch other very much..."

"What´s love?" Ukyo inturrupted.

"Ok.. lets skip that part..."

"They get together.."

"We are together..."

"Not like this..."

"HOW? Let´s do it."

"WHATTT??" his nose starts bleeding.

He stained his shirt and she offers him a new one.

"You sure do have small breasts," she observed while he was changing. "Look.."

she was about to take of her shirt again

"ITS OK ITS OK I KNOW!!" he covers his eyes.

She shrugs.

"Ok, now, lets make a baby."

"WHAT? Are you insane? I don´t know you!!".

"Hi, I'm Ukyo, there, now you know me."

"No no... It´s not like that...you have to do certaint things... private things"

Ukyo tilts her head to one side as he explains.

"Like touching... kissing..." he mumbles.

She touches him.

"Where is the baby!! I´m touching you!!" she pokes him.

um, +sweatdrop+

"what's kissing?"

"That's um, another kind of touching..."

"How? Why the big mystery!! I don´t belive you. You're making this up aren't you? You won't fool me that easily!" she gripped her spatula. "Show me right now, or else!"

"Wha- o...o...ok"

he movec closer... she blushed...he gulped.

"You have to close you eyes."

"WHAT?! You betternot try anything..."

"Do you want to do this or not?"

he leans forward

Doki doki.

Thump-thump.

She felt strangely warm all over.

their lips met.

'Wow.' they both thought.

They seperated, both myseriously flush.

"What was that? you tried to eat me, and where's the kid?"

"Uh, that comes later"

"Maybe it didn´t work, try again." she closed her eyes.

"That's just the first bit, there's more that comes later."

"DO THE KISS AGAIN ALIEN!! I demand that you show me everything!"

Ryoga faints.

"Don't try to escape, now that I know your tecnique I´ll kiss you

Ryoga, being knocked out, says nothing.

she kind a kiss-rapehim

"Dammit this isn't the same!" she pokes him, "Do it right!"

"Hey Ryoga, are you alright?" asks a vioce from Ryoga's radio, It's Ranma.

"He's busy trying to reproduce with me." Ukyo answers.

"Way to go Ryoga!" Ranma responds.

"There's a problem, he has this wierd kind of narcolepsy.. he keeps fainting."

"Keep trying, he'll get it eventually, you should consider yourself lucky he even got his pants off."

"That´s it he has his pants on!"

Ryoga wakes up as she is taking off his pants.

"What are you doing!"

"You keep fainting, these are obviously too tight. Hey Radio, do I have to take my pants also?!"

"It might help..." said Ranma.

"Ok," she takes off her pants. Ryoga bleeds.

"Why do you use underwear if it´s going to be so thin anyway!"

"RYOUGA YOU LUCKY PIG!!"

"Shut up Ranma!"

"Is she cute?"

"Well ye- that none of your damn business, how do i turn this thing off?" he reaches for his radio.

"Hey girl, you know If ryouga can´t full fill your desires, I´m here..."

she looked at the radio, Ryoga grumbles grumbles,

"Off switch, off switch..."

"HEY! THAT´s NOT A WEAPON... THAT´s A PART OF YOU!!"

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!!

"WHATS THIS WEIRD ALIEN TENTACLE?"

Ryoga's eyes cross.

"Eep." he sqeaked.

+CLANG+ "Answer!"

"Its not a tentecle." he said once he regained the ability to speak.

"I´m getting tired of this, I should kill you."

"uh..."

she stood up and went to get a knife

"First I´m going to cut that tentacle off, for forensic investigation."

"Nooooooooooooooooo, I need it!"

"I dont care."

Ryoga swats the knife away and grabs her.

They kiss.

+after much sweating and moaning+

"... and thats how you make babys."

"You were talking about sex!, Yeah we do it all the time, you should have said."

+sweat drop+

"Wanna do again?"

"Ok"

pan left, fade out roll credits

THE END


By Misshappynewyear & Swartzwald

A/N: Hi Reviewers, Season 3 It´s coming up, but for now I leave you with this special spin off that of course has nothing to do with the original anime or this fanfic, just product of our over stimulated imagination and an random anime title generator.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

#31!