IN CASE YOU WEREN'T LISTENING

It was three days later that Dean came around again. He could tell that he had been fevered and the IV attached to him showed him how unwell he had still been. He stared up at the ceiling the ache in his chest hollow but all too real. Arandi, he had fucked up so badly he could taste it like a bitter pill stuck in his throat.

Bernice was suddenly there hugging him tight spilling warm tears over his t-shirt. She was beside herself thinking that she had made him worse. She didn't know yet just how good he was at hiding the worst. She had seen the love that Dean and Arandi shared with her own eyes and there was no way that she could have kept quiet.

He wasn't mad at her; she had actually said exactly what he needed to hear but what did he do now? He couldn't just walk in the door back home and act as if everything was perfectly normal. Puppies, sunshine, and rainbows. Besides if he knew his wife, and he liked to believe that he did, she was long gone as well. She was out there alone because of him and his sudden melt down. She could take care of herself of that he had no doubt but he'd seen her melt downs too and they could put her in danger.

He couldn't leave if he wanted to anyway. He still wasn't sure how he had made it to the Baker's front door. He could barely shuffle to the bathroom on his own without taking a nap. He had relapsed in the most grandiose of ways. Dean Winchester didn't do things half assed, good, bad, or one foot in the grave. He was a go getter.

He was sitting staring out the window in a recliner when Bernice brought him lunch and a phone.

She didn't say anything. She ruffled his hair and kissed him on the temple and left him alone again. Her subtle way of hinting for him to get his ass in gear.

He sighed and stared at the food and the phone. He nibbled on the baked chicken and veggies and reached for the phone.

Mary answered on the first ring.

"I'm sorry mom." He said right off. He rattled off for a couple of minutes. He snapped his mouth shut when he realized he was spewing.

"Oh, baby, I just needed to know that you were ok." She knew Dean would tell her where he was if he wanted.

"I'm good." He lied like always. Well he believed it enough for everyone. "How's everyone?"

"Your father is about to drive me insane being home all the time with his healing leg and broken arm. Your brother isn't making things easy either."

Dean knew that she knew exactly what he meant so something was wrong. "Mom?"

Mary sighed. "Baby, she left a couple of days after you did. No one knows where she is. She didn't speak a word or shed a tear, not in front of us anyway. She was just gone. She left a note that basically said to leave her alone and not look for her." The 'especially you' was left unsaid. It rang just as loud.

Dean wanted to punch something so badly. Himself preferably. His grip on the phone tight. This was all his fault. "I didn't mean to…."

"I know but…..."

"I made her feel unwanted and dirty?" He finished in a whisper. One tear sliding down his face. What the hell was wrong with him?

The silence on the other end was his answer. Even his mom couldn't help him with this grave he'd dug for himself.

"I gotta go, mom. I'll be in touch." He hung up before she could give him any sage advice or chew him out like he was sure she wanted to do.

He stared outside watching two squirrels run back and forth between two trees. He wondered what the hell had happened to the man that feared little and could take on a room full of vamps with his heart racing with the adrenalin instead of fear. He was Dean freaking Winchester and it was about damn time he started being him again.

Bernice came into the room to gather the tray.

"Sam should be here in a day or so." It wouldn't take his brainiac brother long to figure out where he was and he wasn't in the mood for running. Not anymore.

"Figured as much." Bernice shrugged with a satisfied grin.

Dean couldn't help but grin back. Looked like he had come to the right place to get glued back together after all.

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Sure enough early morning exactly two days later Sam pulled into the driveway in a truck with a trailer attached. He was alone.

Dean walked out to meet him. Mark and Steve on either side of him as if Sam was a threat. He really liked how the Baker family hooked onto a person and were instantly loyal. He wondered if they were all like that.

Sam pulled himself from the truck and stretched.

Dean watched Mark and Steve exchange glances. They were just a bit shorter than Dean so seeing the six foot five 'little brother' kind of threw them off.

"I let him eat all my snacks." Dean chuckled.

"Were your snacks laced with miracle grow and gamma rays?" Mark muttered.

Sam's warm smile made Dean take a deep breath of emotion. The next thing he knew he was being smothered in a tight hug but he didn't mind it all and returned it just as hard.

"Do you get paid to make me worry about you?" Sam groused.

"I'd be a millionaire now wouldn't I." Dean huffed, quirking a brow that he had actually admitted it out loud. He introduced Mark and Steve.

Sam shook their hand. "Thank you for taking care of my stubborn big brother."

"What's on the trailer?" Dean interrupted before he felt awkward.

"I thought you could use something to put back together besides yourself. Bobby and mom agreed." Sam headed to the trailer and pulled a large black tarp loose from bindings.

The Impala laid underneath along with spare parts and all the tools that Dean could possibly need courtesy of Bobby.

Sam raised an eyebrow as Steve put an arm around Dean's shoulder. "Did I tell you what I do for a living?"

"With all due respect, Steve, I really need to do this on my own."

"Well can I at least watch and hand you stuff because that is thing of beauty?"

Dean smiled. If he could say that about the wrecked shell of his baby. He was going to fall in deep love with the finished product.

"You're going to be able to put that back together?" Mark asked in disbelief.

"Dr. Baker, if anyone should have faith in putting a patient back together it should be you." Dean scolded. "Even when the patient isn't living and breathing they still have a heart.

Bernice rushed onto the porch and hugged Sam. She barely reached him mid chest on the tips of her toes. "I just got done making breakfast. So come on boys."

Sam's stomach grumbled. He smiled sheepishly.

"Don't worry I made enough for the walking talking bottomless pit." Bernice winked at Dean.

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Mark and Steve helped to clear room in the barn for Dean to work on the Impala. Harold just stood and gave orders.

Mark told Dean he could work on the car in couple of days but only for a couple of hours a day. Apparently he had made himself Dean's doctor.

Sam chuckled. "Have you met my brother?"

Mark shook his head but laughed. "Come on, Steve, let's go help mom move furniture."

"I thought he had his own practice now?" Sam inquired as the Baker boys walked off with their dad.

"He will soon. The other town doc is retiring and Mark will have his office and all the patients. He's pretty good. I haven't told him to fuck off yet."

They were silent for a little while as Dean sorted parts and tools. Bobby hadn't missed a thing. From the mallet needed to bang out not so serious dents to the smallest rear view mirror screws.

"I haven't been able to pick up her trail." Sam said softly. "She's just as good as her husband at disappearing."

"I'll find her." Dean declared. "I have to find her. I was a piece of shit for leaving like that. How's Jade?"

"Still having to deal with the breathing treatments and upset over her sister of course. Mom and dad are dealing too. Everyone is dealing."

"Because of me."

"Dean, Azazel attacked us as a whole. Separated us little by little but we were so intent on killing him we didn't see the bigger picture; you know?"

"Yeah, I bet he's counting on that to work for him when he makes the next move."

"We can't let that happen. Look, Dean, I realize that what Azazel tried to do through dad really was the worst of the worst lowest kick in the family jewels and I was there. I saw that horror we all shared it and you don't have to carry any of it alone."

Dean shook his head slowly. "What Azazel was trying to do to Arandi through dad was bad and I let it get to me. I let it bother me on one too many levels. I couldn't unsee it so to speak. Arandi, saving my life, the cost of it, that's what pushed me over. That's what I have to deal with."

"Dean, I don't know what you thought but Arandi was in the chapel with mom and mom left her alone so that she could say her own private prayers. She wasn't alone long enough to pull your miracle."

"She didn't lie?"

"Not unless that particular chapel has a hidden crossroad."

"Can I be any more of a fuck up?" Dean growled and kicked an old hubcap across the barn.

"You know I love you, Dean, but sometimes your double standards suck ass."

Dean turned to glare at him.

"Don't even act as if you don't know what I'm talking about. If it had been the other way around you would have dragged yourself even half dead to save her and don't tell me otherwise."

Dean turned back to face the barn wall.

"Yet you're also the first to crucify anyone else wanting to do the same for you."

"I should be dead and whoever did this…."

"Traded the colt and maybe that was it."

Dean scoffed. "As if any demon would make a deal that easy."

"I don't know what else to tell you."

Dean nodded with his hands on his hips. "I have no idea how to fix any of this. Running away was the worst thing I could have done but man I needed to breathe."

"Everyone knows that. Even Arandi knows that but you can't blame her for leaving."

Dean groaned and dropped his head. "Yeah, great. I not only left without saying a word to her but I left her with the man that tried to rape her even though he was possessed." He punched the wall hard enough to make the barn shake and Sam startle. The glass of an old lantern cracked. The room started to spin.

"Time for you to rest." Sam had him before he could fall.

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Maggie sighed and stepped outside and stretched. Her shift at the hospital had just ended and she just needed to wait for Rob to finish his. She was waiting outside before another emergency swept her away.

They had three blessed days off coming and man after four straight double shifts and about sixteen hours of sleep in four days, she was so looking forward to sleeping.

Rob came out and they headed to their home. They were engaged now and a few months from the wedding. They had invested in a house.

Most people would say they were moving too fast. Maggie and Rob thought it was taking too long.

Maggie saw the crouched figure on their porch before Rob pulled into the garage. She also noticed the red handkerchief wrapped around one of the porch beams.

A sign that the Winchesters were near.

"We have company." Maggie sighed. She hoped like crazy no one was hurt badly.

"I'll get the coffee started." Rob said as he got out of the car to head inside through the garage.

Maggie walked outside as the door slid shut and headed to the porch.

Arandi sat in the shadows waiting.

"Should I be worried?" Maggie asked, looking around for signs of Dean.

"He's not here." Arandi replied.

"Oh God." Maggie panicked.

"He's alive, barely but he needed time to breathe. So did I without really realizing it."

"Come in then, tell us what you can."

Arandi nodded slowly and looked around the yard. "Sounds good."

By the time they got inside Rob already had things set up. He looked for Dean too but Maggie signed for him to shush.

Arandi sat down at their table tiredly and winced.

Rob poured the freshly brewed coffee and Arandi stared at the steam for a few minutes and then she told them what she could.

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The next day way late into the evening after everyone had slept for hours, Maggie and Arandi sat on the porch with a mixed drink.

"You know he still loves you right?"

"I know. I also know Dean thinks I made this deal to save him and truth is I was going to try but apparently someone beat me to it. I get that he was upset with thinking that I was going to be puppy chow but we always fix things together. He flinched when I touched him. Like he thought I wanted to be touched by that demon. I haven't been able to take enough showers to get that sick feeling off of me."

"Why didn't you just wait then?"

Arandi smiled sadly. "I couldn't stand to look at Dean's parents. Not alone anyway. I have my mom and dad but they weren't there so… I know that John was possessed but still…...and Mary looked at me like she didn't want to be reminded of that night so I just needed to step clear. Dean and I are both the best at covering our tracks."

"So you're not going to look for him?"

"I'm not the one that walked away."

"Arandi…..."

"I know, Maggie, it was a fucked up situation and part of me wants to run and find him because sleeping alone is a bitch and I want make sure that's he's ok. I can't do that though. I can't look in his eyes and see that look, not again."

"He's going to come for you, you know that."

"Maybe but why should I make it easy?"

"Because you love him."

Arandi gave her a half smile. "Look who went and became an expert on Dean and Arandi."

Maggie laughed out loud. "Honey, I'm willing to bet you mega bucks that someday there will movies and books about Dean and Arandi, a supernatural love like no other. Jensen Ackles and Monica Barladeanu will play you in the movie."

Arandi laughed then. The first real anything she had felt since Dean had left. "I knew coming here was going to do me some good."

"Nurses know how to fix some things better than doctors."

They were quiet for a little while. Just listening to the night sounds.

"What if this was it, Maggie?" Arandi barely whispered. "What if our forever is over?"

"You can't believe that?"

"You didn't see the way he looked at me. You can still love someone and never be near them again."

Maggie sighed deeply. "When I met you and Dean you both changed my life in a thousand different ways. You opened my eyes to the real world, you helped me find the love of my life, and you showed me a love that doesn't exist outside of movies and books. I refuse to believe that Dean and Arandi are over."

Arandi opened her mouth but clamped it shut when Maggie lifted her hand.

"Enough said."

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If there were ever a competition for the most mule headed man in the world, Sam was sure Dean would win without even trying.

The couple of hours that he was supposed to spend working on his baby were thrown aside two days into the endeavor.

Dean woke at the ass crack of dawn and worked until someone would remind him that it was time for lunch and then dinner. He would then work until his eyes were drooping or Bernice would practically drag him inside.

The Bakers all looked on in amazement as the Impala came together almost like magic before them. It was the most patience Dean showed with anything.

Mark at first thought it was a bad idea for him to exhaust himself like that but in the end it ended up being the best therapy for Dean to put himself together bit by bit as well.

Steve could hardly believe that a little under two weeks the Impala was sitting in front of the house purring and gleaming like she just came off the best of the best car show.

Dean had gotten a little frazzled when he had to clean so much dried blood from the seats, both front and back. He had sat on the ground back to the barn wall shaking as the memories took hold. He just had to reminded himself that everyone had survived.

Sam knew that now that the Impala was recovered that Dean would start getting antsy. So he had been busy doing research.

Dean walked into the living room where Sam was writing notes.

"Hey, can I check something online." Dean asked as he sat next to his brother on the sofa.

"Sure go ahead." Sam shrugged.

Dean took the laptop and began to look through sites and checked his e-mails and sent some out. Nearly two hours later he put the laptop down and pulled his new phone from his jeans pocket. A gift from Sam.

He got up and paced to stare out a window while he dialed and Sam watched him curiously.

"Yeah, can I get connected to Rain Cadence's room please?"

Sam furrowed his brows.

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Arandi, please don't hang up on me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arandi had stayed with Maggie for nearly a week but being at their house while they were at work was unnerving and all she did was cook and bake and ended up have to replace a lot of groceries.

Maggie insisted she didn't have to especially since they now had a freezer full of meals that they just had to heat and eat. Arandi felt better though doing it her way.

"And she says Dean is the stubborn one." Maggie huffed to Rob.

Arandi left and drove for a while in a car that she had lifted from Bobby's, she knew he wouldn't report it stolen. She finally settled on a hotel close to the ocean so that she could at least walk and let the waves carry her away, mentally anyway.

She was on her fourth day there when the phone to the room rang. She plopped on the bed in shock of hearing Dean's voice.

"Arandi, please don't hang up on me."

She didn't say anything. She played through her mind how she hadn't left one bit of a paper trail. Had paid everything in cash and had used a name that she had made up on a whim. Side stepping the need for an ID with a little flirting with the hotel clerk. Hell she hadn't even hunted so that no one could follow a lead from other hunters.

"How in the hell….?"

Dean breathed. "I just had to follow your mind, your love of the ocean, the rain because it was the first time we touched."

"Ok, that still doesn't explain anything. There is more than one ocean. It rains everywhere."

Dean chuckled slightly. "You shouldn't have taken one of Bobby's cars and so plainly gassed up and checked into hotels in full view of street cams."

'Fucking lack of privacy.' Arandi grumbled to herself. Part of her had to have known all that but she had played herself stupid.

"Beautiful woman with incredible soul searching eyes, always gets me an answer." He continued.

"What do you want, Dean?" So part of her was still going to be in bitch mode.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean shit but I am. I ran like a coward something I have never been especially when it comes to you. This time I failed you, myself, and everyone."

She wanted to yell at him, tell him to leave her alone or worse but all she could see in her mind was Dean dying and being brought back. He was supposed to be dead, she knew that like she knew how to breathe. If things had been left to run their course he would be dead and she would be a widow and…

She began to cry.

"Arandi, baby, please, I'm sorry, please don't cry." If anything was Dean's kryptonite that was it and he couldn't do anything but comfort her with words. Tears stinging his own eyes.

They were hundreds of miles apart.

"I can be there in a day."

"Dean, I love you, I always will but right now, this is good."

"Arandi, I don't …."

"Goodbye."

TBC

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Thanks for reading!